"Fast" kids -- how do they get that way?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was fast - I had sex at age 13, and experimented with alcohol and marijuana. I used to sneak out with guys - some even over the age of 18. I don't think it was a lack of parenting or bi-polar disorder or anything like that. I think it was a combination of early puberty and low self-esteem. I am socially awkward, so when my body developed and boys expressed interest in me, it was easier to be physically sexy than communicate in other ways.

My weren’t you a little slut

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

I have one that is a homebody and one that runs with the fast crowd. I think it has a lot to do with personality , sometimes parenting, but in my case I don’t think so.

[Anonymous]

This is interesting. My DD is only in 7th grade but it has been interesting to watch the way kids change and mature at different levels once in middle school. In my observation it seems less about trauma and more about innate personality, although of course no one knows who has trauma. I suspect there are many neglected kids who don’t become fast. Some kids just look grown up at 12 and others are babies. Then again maybe it’s the baby faced ones getting into trouble so I’m not sure there’s a simple answer.

[Anonymous]

It seems me that many of the kids who appear outwardly fast are mature and smart and together and that some of the shy kids are more lost.

[Anonymous]

Early onset of puberty + extraversion + parental modeling. Probably need all three.

[Anonymous]

Honest question- are boys also fast or is there another term?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honest question- are boys also fast or is there another term?

Mannish

Apparently the official definition of mannish is a woman with manly characteristics, but in the South I've only heard it used to describe "fast" or "grown" behaving boys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm talking about kids who date young, who seem super mature, experiment with drinking early and so forth.

their parents modeled the need to be to cool and prioritized social acceptance by similar other parents. their parents are so preoccupied with this, that they forgot to actually parent their kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm talking about kids who date young, who seem super mature, experiment with drinking early and so forth.

their parents modeled the need to be to cool and prioritized social acceptance by similar other parents. their parents are so preoccupied with this, that they forgot to actually parent their kid.

This is not true. I was one one the *fast* PPs above, and my parents are far from cool (my mother was a biochemist).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honest question- are boys also fast or is there another term?

Mannish

Apparently the official definition of mannish is a woman with manly characteristics, but in the South I've only heard it used to describe "fast" or "grown" behaving boys.

Like that Muddy Waters song, Mannish Boy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was fast - I had sex at age 13, and experimented with alcohol and marijuana. I used to sneak out with guys - some even over the age of 18. I don't think it was a lack of parenting or bi-polar disorder or anything like that. I think it was a combination of early puberty and low self-esteem. I am socially awkward, so when my body developed and boys expressed interest in me, it was easier to be physically sexy than communicate in other ways.

My weren’t you a little slut

Thanks!

Heh. I love it when people say slut like it’s a bad thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honest question- are boys also fast or is there another term?

Man whore. Slut without the social stigma.

[Anonymous]

Lots of times it's the youngest child in family with much older siblings. So a 7 year old who hears her older sister talking about dating, etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please give me a medal for reading all the responses so I could understand what a "fast" kid is.

Between their usage of the words “fast” and “mature” I feel like OP must be older. It sounds so retro.

How old are you that you don’t know what fast means in this context or you think it sounds retro?

I’m 37. I knew what it meant without reading the comments. . Still sounds retro.

It does sound a little retro but I think it’s also the right word for the context.

I would say “promiscuous” and “socially precocious.” But that’s neither here no there.

[Anonymous]

A lot of times the kids I see who are using alcohol or drugs or socially precocious are that way because of physical, sexual or emotional abuse in the household. However I have had experiences with one daughters' (former) friend where there was no physical abuse but it was the mom who was really fostering the early interest in boys and sex.

I remember walking over one day to pick up my daughter from a birthday party when the kids were in 4th grade. The mom engaged me in a side conversation and talked nonstop about which boys there would make good boyfriends for the girls. Her comments ranged from socioeconomic comparisons to listings of physical attributes of the boys, all in a non-stop gushing kind of way. It was eye-opening to listen to her. After that conversation we began to disengage our daughter from the friendship. The girls attended the same middle and high schools so we continued to encounter the mom and her daughter for another 8 years. It was patently obvious that the girl had a lot of pressure from her mom to have a boyfriend and to be "popular." It was pretty sad to watch a girl who was very smart diminish herself to her mom's level in an effort to conform to her mom's expectations. Interestingly it wasn't necessarily a social class issue of a mom who "married up" and wanted to see her daughter do the same. The mom came from a well-known and very wealthy local family. I think it is what she learned and now what she has trained her daughter to be. It is pretty sad.