Why have a baby when your 40?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can people explain this to me please, I realize I'm being ignorant and probably will trigger the old farts on this forum. But why? Why not adopt? Do you really want to be 60 when your child is 20? 70 at 30? Women who have babies in their 40s really grosses me out.

I understand the economic and cultural differences for waiting to be older, but biologically you are at menopause age.

What a small-minded, little, little girl you are.

Do you think you will never be “old fart” age yourself? Do you prefer the alternative?

Better to be old than so achingly dumb.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm happy to gross you out! I'll be 63 when my kiddo is 20 so haha!

Having my youngest has been the best thing ever. I'm enjoying life and doing the kid things with her. Her young adult siblings adore her.

OP you can sit around counting your gray hairs and complaining about aches and pains when you're my age-I'm too busy enjoying my little one!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can people explain this to me please, I realize I'm being ignorant and probably will trigger the old farts on this forum. But why? Why not adopt? Do you really want to be 60 when your child is 20? 70 at 30? Women who have babies in their 40s really grosses me out.

I understand the economic and cultural differences for waiting to be older, but biologically you are at menopause age.

It’s good that you recognize your limitations. Why do you feel the need to spew your ignorance when you know for a fact that you are ignorant? Did you not get enough attention today?

I'm just asking. Besides a handful of reasons I got responses on a) my grammar and a bunch of pearl clutching responses. None of which explain why you chose to have a baby at such an old age.

Well, you got plenty of substantive responses.

Op I feel sorry for you that you have such a narrow worldview and limited range of life experiences that you do not have the empathy or understanding to have answered these questions for yourself. I think you’ve gotten a lot of very substantive and thoughtful answers and hopefully the next time different life choices from your own “gross” you out you will try to extend some grace and understanding rather than easily let yourself off the hook as simply ignorant

Why do you want to know? Why do you care? Why does it gross you out? Do 25-yr-old pregnant women gross you out? Why? Why not?

Just asking.

And you need to look up the meaning of “pearl-clutching”.

I want to know because there seems to be quite a few women in this area who are old with young children.

I care because I'm trying to understand why you would want to have a toddler while "approaching" menopause. Pardon my previous posts that offended users.

It grosses me out because you're old. I get you are offended by that but you can't change your biological clock nor what you look like. You're 55 while your teenager is throwing a temper tantrum because you're taking too long to receive your 10% discount for being a senior?

No, 25 doesn't gross me out because that's an appropriate child rearing age.

Anyone offended by my question just is insecure with themselves for having children later in life.

[Anonymous]

You are an uneducated dipsh#t OP and nobody cares of you are "grossed out."

As many have pointed out, it has been common throughout the centuries for women to have babies well into their 40s.

And a 40 year old mom is hands down better than a 15 year old mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In the old days, pre birth control, women would have babies until they went through menopause. My mom and her mom were both pregnant at the same time, pre birth control, in the early 50s while abortion was illegal. Grandma didn't want to be pregnant, but oh well.

My friend's mom had her sixth child at age 47. She was pregnant at my friend's wedding.

My grandmother had five kids by the age of 25 and then one around 40.

Grandma is still doing great in her 90s, walks a couple miles a day....she was totally healthy and energetic when raising the last kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can people explain this to me please, I realize I'm being ignorant and probably will trigger the old farts on this forum. But why? Why not adopt? Do you really want to be 60 when your child is 20? 70 at 30? Women who have babies in their 40s really grosses me out.

I understand the economic and cultural differences for waiting to be older, but biologically you are at menopause age.

It’s called personal choice. Life circumstances aren’t the same for everybody. So it’s great for you if you got married in your 20s and were able to start having children. Some people have different life paths. Plus, I just want to say that I don’t know anyone in their 40s who’s going through menopause. I think that is a very ignorant statement on your part, you must be very young.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wrong forum OP. This town is full of women that would gross you out. The average age of a FTM on this forum is likely 36+

Yeah OP should be on babycenter

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can people explain this to me please, I realize I'm being ignorant and probably will trigger the old farts on this forum. But why? Why not adopt? Do you really want to be 60 when your child is 20? 70 at 30? Women who have babies in their 40s really grosses me out.

I understand the economic and cultural differences for waiting to be older, but biologically you are at menopause age.

OP, why did you come on this particular forum? What kind of response were you expecting by asking a question while using insulting words? There are so many life circumstances that results in having children at 40. Your post reveals a lot about your character, and I hope you will grow in maturity and look back at this post as a low point in your life.

[Anonymous]

Does anyone else get the feeling that what OP is actually disgusted about is the fact that “old people” have sex?

Sorry, Ashleigh. Old people bonk. Some people an awful lot.

[Anonymous]

I’ll bite. UMC educated women tend to have kids when they are older for two main reasons:

1. It’s better for your finances
2. Better for your career

I’m not talking about someone with inter generational wealth or a typical $60k a year job. I’m talking the countless DC women who have graduate degrees and earn $200k plus. They are in dual income families with HHIs around 500-750k. Not wealthy, but doing well

Your 20s and early 30s are for focusing on your career and saving. In a high earning track job, it’s extremely detrimental to have a baby in your 20s. Most women are still in grad school. Again, not talking about a $60k a year job. By the time you’re in your late 30s, you should have more career flexibility and the years of experience and hard work to fall back on. If I’d had a kid at 25, I’d likely have dropped out of the workforce and returned a number of years later at the same lowly salary. Because I didn’t have kids, I was earning closer to $120k by the time I was 30.

Having money makes life easier. When I was 25, I earned around $40k. Even if I had gone with daycare, having a kid would have extremely difficult financially. Now I’m in my late 30s and earning 250k plus. I can easily afford a nanny and throw a lot of money into college savings.

Wealthier, educated moms waiting to have kids is one of many factors driving inequality. Because I waited to have kids, I’ve been able to save aggressively in 529s. My kids will graduate from undergrad without any loans. They will also know to wait to have kids and the cycle will continue.

Still related to finances, we had plenty of money pre-kids to enjoy European vacations and an active social life. This wouldn’t have been an option with kids.

Having kids in your 20s is like having kids out of wedlock. It makes life harder financially. There are exceptions, but for the most part, women who have kids at a young age have the cards stacked against them.

Sure having a baby at an older age has risks for some sort of medical issue. But there are plenty of young people having kids in Alabama surrounded by obesity and substance abuse. Not sure that it’s really a greater risk to have kids in your late 30s/early 40s.

[Anonymous]

how can this many people fall for such an obvious troll?

[Anonymous]

Because you got pregnant and want the baby.

Seems like the only 2 reasons.

[Anonymous]

I am guessing OP is a male in his late 20s. He believes that the women who are rejecting him now will regret it because they will end up single and alone and sad after spending their youths dating men with social skills. He believes that rejecting him means these women are unknowingly passing up a chance to have a perfect guy (even though he is bitter and hates women more and more with each passing night spent at his computer on incel forums). He thinks he will have the last laugh. It enrages him to think that some of these women will have babies later and have their happily-ever-afters because that flies in the face of his need to believe that women are screwing themselves over by rejecting him now.

How'd I do, do you think?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am guessing OP is a male in his late 20s. He believes that the women who are rejecting him now will regret it because they will end up single and alone and sad after spending their youths dating men with social skills. He believes that rejecting him means these women are unknowingly passing up a chance to have a perfect guy (even though he is bitter and hates women more and more with each passing night spent at his computer on incel forums). He thinks he will have the last laugh. It enrages him to think that some of these women will have babies later and have their happily-ever-afters because that flies in the face of his need to believe that women are screwing themselves over by rejecting him now.

How'd I do, do you think?

Spot on, just wait until he comes back yelling about shoes and brunch and how we must all be dried up angry women regretting our 20s (uh, even though I'm pretttttty sure most here are married moms, so...)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“Why not adopt” says the person who has no idea how expensive and difficult adoption is.

Not to mention that it totally contradicts her point about not having kids when you’re 40. Or did she mean adopt earlier? With such a nonsensical OP it’s hard to know what she was getting at.