Why have a baby when your 40?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can people explain this to me please, I realize I'm being ignorant and probably will trigger the old farts on this forum. But why? Why not adopt? Do you really want to be 60 when your child is 20? 70 at 30? Women who have babies in their 40s really grosses me out.

I understand the economic and cultural differences for waiting to be older, but biologically you are at menopause age.

It’s good that you recognize your limitations. Why do you feel the need to spew your ignorance when you know for a fact that you are ignorant? Did you not get enough attention today?

I'm just asking. Besides a handful of reasons I got responses on a) my grammar and a bunch of pearl clutching responses. None of which explain why you chose to have a baby at such an old age.

I had sex with my husband and got pregnant. That’s what happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You get married late.
You want to have a baby with dh.
It takes you years to complete your education and even buy a small house.
Adoption is expensive, and has no guarantee of even getting a baby. The fact that OP says "just adopt" indicates they haven't gone through adoption.
Sometimes women even accidentally get pregnant.

In the old days, pre birth control, women would have babies until they went through menopause. My mom and her mom were both pregnant at the same time, pre birth control, in the early 50s while abortion was illegal. Grandma didn't want to be pregnant, but oh well.

Depending on what happens with Roe v Wade, you might see a lot more pregnant 40+ year olds.

1000's of reasons. I met DH at 36. Very few of us meet our partners in our early 20's while simultaneously have our ducks in a row to be able to have a child at some perfect age you have in your mind.

[Anonymous]

This is true, my best friend had her baby the same time as her mom. She was 28, her mom was 51. Shit happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can people explain this to me please, I realize I'm being ignorant and probably will trigger the old farts on this forum. But why? Why not adopt? Do you really want to be 60 when your child is 20? 70 at 30? Women who have babies in their 40s really grosses me out.

I understand the economic and cultural differences for waiting to be older, but biologically you are at menopause age.

It’s good that you recognize your limitations. Why do you feel the need to spew your ignorance when you know for a fact that you are ignorant? Did you not get enough attention today?

I'm just asking. Besides a handful of reasons I got responses on a) my grammar and a bunch of pearl clutching responses. None of which explain why you chose to have a baby at such an old age.

Well, you got plenty of substantive responses.

Why do you want to know? Why do you care? Why does it gross you out? Do 25-yr-old pregnant women gross you out? Why? Why not?

Just asking.

And you need to look up the meaning of “pearl-clutching”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It was better than just killing her. Personal choice.

Yep, better than the alternative.

[Anonymous]

It's only since the 1960s that more women don't have kids until they go through menopause or die. Check out census records from 1940 or before. Having babies around 40 isn't new.

My sil had a baby after forty because that's when she met my brother who also wanted to have a baby with her. My mom had me at 40 because she wanted another child and had several miscarriages until she finally had a live birth.

Lots of guys "aren't ready" to have a baby until they are in their mid 30s or they realize if they don't have one now they are never going to have one. My dh was in that category and it took me years to convince him that we needed to go ahead and start trying.

[Anonymous]

Great OP, your post has now attracted the pro-life crowd.

[Anonymous]

At least wait until you complete your education, please.

[Anonymous]

I'll introduce you to my wonderful 14-year-old, and then you will have my answer.

Also, you have a lot to learn about a woman's body.

[Anonymous]

I guess I just wanted to have and experience it all. I wanted to party, travel and have fun in my 20s. Then early to mid 30s I focused on my career. Wasn't ready to even try for kids until the second half of my thirties. Once ready, I had easy pregnancies and births and my body snapped right back within a few months. I am 40 now and considering one more now that my youngest is 2. f I'm anything like my mom and grandmother, I'm a solid 15 years away from menopause.

[Anonymous]

Most women can conceive until they go into menopause.

One of my friends couldn't get pregnant, was told by doctors she would never get pregnant, adopted, and then had a whoops baby right before menopause. Because, why use birth control if you "can't" get pregnant?

Apparently some women become more fertile later in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can people explain this to me please, I realize I'm being ignorant and probably will trigger the old farts on this forum. But why? Why not adopt? Do you really want to be 60 when your child is 20? 70 at 30? Women who have babies in their 40s really grosses me out.

I understand the economic and cultural differences for waiting to be older, but biologically you are at menopause age.

It is none of your business, and is extremely self-righteous of you to say it grosses you out when women in their 40s have babies.

I went through YEARS of unexplained infertility, and had finally "given up" when I got pregnant four months before my 40th birthday. It happened, and it was a tremendous gift. I got pregnant again at 41. Again, it was a tremendous gift.

Some 70-year-olds are more active and healthier than some 25-year-olds, and people die at all different ages, so it isn't a valid argument to say that we "old folks" will die when our children are still young adults. We don't know that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can people explain this to me please, I realize I'm being ignorant and probably will trigger the old farts on this forum. But why? Why not adopt? Do you really want to be 60 when your child is 20? 70 at 30? Women who have babies in their 40s really grosses me out.

I understand the economic and cultural differences for waiting to be older, but biologically you are at menopause age.

Lol. Oh, sweetie. Please tell me a 14-year-old wrote this, because otherwise...yikes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can people explain this to me please, I realize I'm being ignorant and probably will trigger the old farts on this forum. But why? Why not adopt? Do you really want to be 60 when your child is 20? 70 at 30? Women who have babies in their 40s really grosses me out.

I understand the economic and cultural differences for waiting to be older, but biologically you are at menopause age.

It’s good that you recognize your limitations. Why do you feel the need to spew your ignorance when you know for a fact that you are ignorant? Did you not get enough attention today?

I'm just asking. Besides a handful of reasons I got responses on a) my grammar and a bunch of pearl clutching responses. None of which explain why you chose to have a baby at such an old age.

Well, you got plenty of substantive responses.

Why do you want to know? Why do you care? Why does it gross you out? Do 25-yr-old pregnant women gross you out? Why? Why not?

Just asking.

And you need to look up the meaning of “pearl-clutching”.

I want to know because there seems to be quite a few women in this area who are old with young children.

I care because I'm trying to understand why you would want to have a toddler while "approaching" menopause. Pardon my previous posts that offended users.

It grosses me out because you're old. I get you are offended by that but you can't change your biological clock nor what you look like. You're 55 while your teenager is throwing a temper tantrum because you're taking too long to receive your 10% discount for being a senior?

No, 25 doesn't gross me out because that's an appropriate child rearing age.

Anyone offended by my question just is insecure with themselves for having children later in life.

[Anonymous]

You are too young yet to realize that 40 is not old.