Are single people in their thirties really the “undesirables”?
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Anonymous
A norm around getting married that late is one with fewer kids, a lot more infertility/birth defects, and kids barely meeting their grandparents. Both extended adolescence and this idea that you should have yourself entirely figured out before getting married, as opposed to continuing to do that work within your marriage, are choices that cultures make. And not good ones. If you don't have yourself together enough to make a commitment until you're much older than is optimal for having kids -- well, that happens sometimes, but it's something to aspire to. |
Anonymous
Remain mindful of all the amazing smoked salmon, bellinis, and eggs benedicts you enjoyed on the way to your fertility doctor in your 30s. Life of leisure and hookup culture in your 20s was so worth it! 
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Anonymous
You're confusing correlation and causation. The women you see in these sad arrangements with immature low-status men are in the (as OP put it) "undesirable" bucket. They take what they can get. |
Anonymous
Plenty of people know themselves by their late twenties and the odds of divorce increase by 5% each year after the early thirties. https://ifstudies.org/blog/want-to-avoid-divorce-wait-to-get-married-but-not-too-long/ |
Anonymous
| What in the world? No, of course not. Many (most?) of our friends married in theor 30's. They are all stable, attractive, great people. |
Anonymous
Huh. Well, it worked out for me. I enjoyed a rich life full of great friends, travel, holding meaningful volunteer positions within my community and helping my sister out with my niece. In my case, there was a rich Mr. Big waiting for me. 
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Anonymous
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Meh, I’m 30... almost 31, and not married or currently in a serious relationship. I’m finishing up my PhD in a biomedical science program (hopefully I’m out in 2 years), and I was always more focused on school and securing a good career over dating. Definitely don’t do hookups or even care about sex. I’m looking for a certain type of guy who wants a big family, to include fostering and adopting. I’m particularly interested in working with the severely neglected teen demographic, which requires full commitment. It’s a huge ask, but it’s what I want to do with my life.
With how prevalent online dating has become within the last decade or so, there’s always so many “options,” for everyone to choose from (there’s no way I’m meeting someone in my program’s setting, or elsewhere). Since I know exactly what I want, it’s just taking me time to find someone compatible. I’m super independent, and will be fostering solo to start maybe next year. I’m completely fine with having kids, fostering, and adopting on my own. But a partner would be nice to complete the family. Guess we’ll see what my life brings about, lol. |
Anonymous
| What, no that is insane. |
Anonymous
That’s right! You should forego traveling, kissing other people, sleeping in and generally advancing your career so you can be married at 22, prego while your friends are out doing fun stuff and generally sitting home in the suburbs in your 20’s. You need to live like it’s 1950 to be a real person. |
Anonymous
DP-Ugh, you’re a humorless loser. I’m sure most people getting married in their 30’s live perfectly happy lives with zero fertility problems, but you’re always going to be nasty and miserable. I say this as someone who got married and had kids in my 20’s. |
Anonymous
Do you...know that you can travel, sleep in, advance your career, and have fun while you're married? Is that the issue here? You can even have fun with kids. Really. And you don't have to move to the suburbs, ever, if you don't want to. The idea that getting married and having kids before you're middle-aged is "living like it's 1950" is a very odd perspective. |
Anonymous
I enjoyed a lot of delicious brunches and even more delicious men. Never had any fertility issues....got pregnant twice within a month of starting to try. Sorry you missed out on having fun in your life, but a lot of us got to eat our cake and have it too 
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Anonymous
Tell it to the men. You could be a pretty, educated (non religious, because this skews things) 23 year old and go out on 10 dates in DC or NYC with men under 30 and pretty much every one of them is going to run out the door like their hair is on fire and promptly lose your number the second you vocalize something like wanting to be married and having kids in the next few years. I don't understand why the onus is always put on women when it is VERY clear in the 20-something dating world that most high quality men have zero desire to settle down before 30 or close to it. |
Anonymous
| No most people I know married late 20's and into 30's. I think by late 30's I saw some women settling to have a family, most are divorced now but some of the really attractive women I know didn't marry into early - mid 30's. |
Anonymous
| Plot twist, I got married at 25 and still had fertility issues at age 30. Maybe it was those mimosas with law school friends in my late 20s... |