Adult son living with parents

[Anonymous]

You have a good son OP. Be happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:P.S. I wish I'd had the option to live rent free when I had my first job. Would have been great to save that money. I didn't have much fun with my roomates then b.c. I was so focused on paying off school oans, but I did have a ton of fun with roommates throuhgout college and grad school. I lived in teh dorms only my freshman year, and apartments after that. If your sone has already lived with roommates in apartments, Iwouldn't worry so much about his social life. Right now there isn't much social life to be had if he's being responsible about the panandemic. (please excuse typos)

OP here. My son also lived in the dorm his first year and in apartments off campus for three years. He also took a gap year to volunteer the entire year in South America remote places.

My oldest son is 30 years old. He finished his undergrad at 22 and grad school at 24. He also lived at home for 3 years to save about 300k before he met his spouse and moving out. He used the 300k and we gave him another 150k to pay off his townhouse, no mortgate. My daughter moved out immediately after college and she is now married with a mortgage on the house and loan on the car. My 22 years old is thinking about giving his sister 50k to help with the car loan and mortgage. The 22 years old would like to have more money in the bank than his brother before he is ready to move out. His reason: he wants to be financially independence and he wants to give his future spouse the option of either continue working or staying home. He will be fine with both. I will discuss this again with him at the end of 2020 and encourage him to move out like after 4 years. In the mean time, I am so glad he is staying with us and see him everyday.

P.S. He is currently seeing someone. She is a college sophomore. Not sure how long it will last.

Why didn’t you give your daughter 150,000? (Kudos to her for showing some independence!)

[Anonymous]

He has a cook, home, cleaner, laundromat, parking, grocery shopper...everything for which he does not pay. His life will not be rough though. He is smart enough to hang on to his money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Welcome to the modern world. Very, very common these days to move back home until almost 30 in order to pay off student loans and save for a home.

Boomers and even GenX parents need to quit thinking it is 1991 or the early 00s. Cost of living and prices for owning a place have exploded to unaffordable levels. Even with a 95k job it might not be a lot when you're paying $2000 per mo in rent these days. You want it to take 30 years just to save for a down payment?

Ridiculous. This GenXer got out of college on a $24,000 teacher salary and shared a house with three other roommates. A kid just out of college does not need a $2000 apartment. He can be independent from his parents and still save money, but he wants to live the full Richie Rich lifestyle without any sacrifice or work.

Yep. Also you don’t need to live in an expensive urban metro area; that’s purely a choice. There’s a big world out there!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We have more than enough ourselves so he does not have to pay for anything. We still have about $150k in the bank for his graduate school. His goal is to have at least 400k in the bank before he strikes out on his own. We love him but 7 years is also too long for us.

It’s your house OP! Does your child rule you? He’s 22 and making good money. It’s not normal to want to live with your parents for that long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He has a cook, home, cleaner, laundromat, parking, grocery shopper...everything for which he does not pay. His life will not be rough though. He is smart enough to hang on to his money.

That will make him very relatable and down to earth.

[Anonymous]

SEVEN YEARS??! No. One year. And he pays rent. You can discount it if you're feeling generous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have a good son OP. Be happy.

No. Her son is smart enough to keep milking the cow. Good, no. Good people go off on their own, make good de usons and bad, and experience life. At best, her son will be a kind hearted douche bag who doesn't know better. At worst, an arrogant POS who doesn't understand that he was born with a silver spoon and give every advantage in life, who posts about how his immigrant parents did it with nothing and craps on the AA community.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have a good son OP. Be happy.

No. Her son is smart enough to keep milking the cow. Good, no. Good people go off on their own, make good de usons and bad, and experience life. At best, her son will be a kind hearted douche bag who doesn't know better. At worst, an arrogant POS who doesn't understand that he was born with a silver spoon and give every advantage in life, who posts about how his immigrant parents did it with nothing and craps on the AA community.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why didn’t you give your daughter 150,000? (Kudos to her for showing some independence!)

OP here. My daughter and her husband are both teachers for FCPS. My husband and I gave them 350K to make a down payment on a 525K house and they have a 175K home mortgage. My husband and I own part of the house but each year our ownership of the house becomes less and less until it becomes zero after seven years. After seven years, my daughter and her husband will be the sole owner of the house.

We gave our oldest son 150K because he already saved up 300K and he preferred a smaller home and no mortgage. My daughter is my husband favorite child and both my sons are very aware of this and they have no issues with that. They are very close to each other.

Both my oldest son and daughters also travel around the world extensively before settling down. The difference is that my oldest son used his own money and we gave our daughter money to travel. The young brother seems to follow his brother's footstep but he plans on staying with us longer so that he can save even more money and help out his sister who does not make as much money as he does. I love having him around but seven years is quite a long time for us. My husband and I are thinking about living in Korea in the next five years.

I am Korean and my husband is white. His girlfriend's father is American Indian and the mother is white. GF is also majoring in education so it might have influenced his decision to stay with us longer.

[Anonymous]

I lived at home on and off till 29. My mom liked it. I chipped in 200 a month in rent, I mowed lawn, I fixed things, walked dog. It was in and off as moved out At 23, them moved back 26 and back out again at 29. That was in 1980s so $200 was decent.

Funny part no stigma at all with women. My neighbor I see tons of kids between 23 and 27 at all. Only downside is was hooking up not dating

[Anonymous]

For a few years to start a cushion for a house. I’m kind of stunned he wants to live with you so he can have money to travel. That is a luxury.

$95k- also, this is a lot of money. He can live lean for many years, like the majority of college grads, and be in a mighty fine place in 10 years, and without living with you.

Anyway, he can move out and into a townhouse with two others and pay $750 a month in rent. He can eat low cost meals. He can travel frugally locally, and wait to travel internationally until he’s in his late twenties, or out off the down payment for a few more years he he wants to prioritize travel.

[Anonymous]

Folks, OP is a prime example of wealthy parents ensuring that their kids are wealthy too. I can’t believe those monetary gifts given and the tax implications.

I admit freely that FIL has given us a lot that he didn’t have to. I practice gratitude every day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why didn’t you give your daughter 150,000? (Kudos to her for showing some independence!)

OP here. My daughter and her husband are both teachers for FCPS. My husband and I gave them 350K to make a down payment on a 525K house and they have a 175K home mortgage. My husband and I own part of the house but each year our ownership of the house becomes less and less until it becomes zero after seven years. After seven years, my daughter and her husband will be the sole owner of the house.

We gave our oldest son 150K because he already saved up 300K and he preferred a smaller home and no mortgage. My daughter is my husband favorite child and both my sons are very aware of this and they have no issues with that. They are very close to each other.

Both my oldest son and daughters also travel around the world extensively before settling down. The difference is that my oldest son used his own money and we gave our daughter money to travel. The young brother seems to follow his brother's footstep but he plans on staying with us longer so that he can save even more money and help out his sister who does not make as much money as he does. I love having him around but seven years is quite a long time for us. My husband and I are thinking about living in Korea in the next five years.

I am Korean and my husband is white. His girlfriend's father is American Indian and the mother is white. GF is also majoring in education so it might have influenced his decision to stay with us longer.

Trol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have a good son OP. Be happy.

No. Her son is smart enough to keep milking the cow. Good, no. Good people go off on their own, make good de usons and bad, and experience life. At best, her son will be a kind hearted douche bag who doesn't know better. At worst, an arrogant POS who doesn't understand that he was born with a silver spoon and give every advantage in life, who posts about how his immigrant parents did it with nothing and craps on the AA community.

+1

Obnoxious PPs. What is wrong with you? You don't know her son.
He is young, 22. Yes, is a good son and smart.
I bet he is a sweet kid too.