Adult son living with parents

[Anonymous]

P.S. I wish I'd had the option to live rent free when I had my first job. Would have been great to save that money. I didn't have much fun with my roomates then b.c. I was so focused on paying off school oans, but I did have a ton of fun with roommates throuhgout college and grad school. I lived in teh dorms only my freshman year, and apartments after that. If your sone has already lived with roommates in apartments, Iwouldn't worry so much about his social life. Right now there isn't much social life to be had if he's being responsible about the panandemic. (please excuse typos)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:P.S. I wish I'd had the option to live rent free when I had my first job. Would have been great to save that money. I didn't have much fun with my roomates then b.c. I was so focused on paying off school oans, but I did have a ton of fun with roommates throuhgout college and grad school. I lived in teh dorms only my freshman year, and apartments after that. If your sone has already lived with roommates in apartments, Iwouldn't worry so much about his social life. Right now there isn't much social life to be had if he's being responsible about the panandemic. (please excuse typos)

OP here. My son also lived in the dorm his first year and in apartments off campus for three years. He also took a gap year to volunteer the entire year in South America remote places.

My oldest son is 30 years old. He finished his undergrad at 22 and grad school at 24. He also lived at home for 3 years to save about 300k before he met his spouse and moving out. He used the 300k and we gave him another 150k to pay off his townhouse, no mortgate. My daughter moved out immediately after college and she is now married with a mortgage on the house and loan on the car. My 22 years old is thinking about giving his sister 50k to help with the car loan and mortgage. The 22 years old would like to have more money in the bank than his brother before he is ready to move out. His reason: he wants to be financially independence and he wants to give his future spouse the option of either continue working or staying home. He will be fine with both. I will discuss this again with him at the end of 2020 and encourage him to move out like after 4 years. In the mean time, I am so glad he is staying with us and see him everyday.

P.S. He is currently seeing someone. She is a college sophomore. Not sure how long it will last.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:P.S. I wish I'd had the option to live rent free when I had my first job. Would have been great to save that money. I didn't have much fun with my roomates then b.c. I was so focused on paying off school oans, but I did have a ton of fun with roommates throuhgout college and grad school. I lived in teh dorms only my freshman year, and apartments after that. If your sone has already lived with roommates in apartments, Iwouldn't worry so much about his social life. Right now there isn't much social life to be had if he's being responsible about the panandemic. (please excuse typos)

OP here. My son also lived in the dorm his first year and in apartments off campus for three years. He also took a gap year to volunteer the entire year in South America remote places.

My oldest son is 30 years old. He finished his undergrad at 22 and grad school at 24. He also lived at home for 3 years to save about 300k before he met his spouse and moving out. He used the 300k and we gave him another 150k to pay off his townhouse, no mortgate. My daughter moved out immediately after college and she is now married with a mortgage on the house and loan on the car. My 22 years old is thinking about giving his sister 50k to help with the car loan and mortgage. The 22 years old would like to have more money in the bank than his brother before he is ready to move out. His reason: he wants to be financially independence and he wants to give his future spouse the option of either continue working or staying home. He will be fine with both. I will discuss this again with him at the end of 2020 and encourage him to move out like after 4 years. In the mean time, I am so glad he is staying with us and see him everyday.

P.S. He is currently seeing someone. She is a college sophomore. Not sure how long it will last.

Did you give each child 150.000? Did they have to pay gift tax?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 22 years old son recently graduated from college with a 95k computer science job. He would like to live with us for at least 7 years so that he can save all of his income on buying a house and for international travel. Is this a good idea? Is it going to be a red flag for potential spouse?

OH hell no. A grown ass man with a grown ass salary doesn't live at home. He's graduated from college and has a job, time to be an adult. Seriously, how is he going to learn the basics of adult life living at home? Honestly, I'd be embarrassed if I was you.

The basics of adult life like...unnecessarily paying rent to a landlord when he could save for his future instead? (Like the majority of people on the earth do.) God bless America.

OP: flip the pitch and ask yourself how you'd want your son to react if you needed to move in with him if/when you need elder-care later in life.

I think planning ahead for 7 years is also unnecessary, take it a few months at a time and see how it goes. Multiple generations who can live under one roof is a blessing not to be unappreciated.

Why didn’t he just live at home in college if he wanted to save money? Did he live on campus all 4 years?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 22 years old son recently graduated from college with a 95k computer science job. He would like to live with us for at least 7 years so that he can save all of his income on buying a house and for international travel. Is this a good idea? Is it going to be a red flag for potential spouse?

OH hell no. A grown ass man with a grown ass salary doesn't live at home. He's graduated from college and has a job, time to be an adult. Seriously, how is he going to learn the basics of adult life living at home? Honestly, I'd be embarrassed if I was you.

The basics of adult life like...unnecessarily paying rent to a landlord when he could save for his future instead? (Like the majority of people on the earth do.) God bless America.

OP: flip the pitch and ask yourself how you'd want your son to react if you needed to move in with him if/when you need elder-care later in life.

I think planning ahead for 7 years is also unnecessary, take it a few months at a time and see how it goes. Multiple generations who can live under one roof is a blessing not to be unappreciated.

Why didn’t he just live at home in college if he wanted to sav
e money? Did he live on campus all 4 years?

Because college is a time to learn and grow as a person which means investing in your future.. It’s not meant to be a time to save money for your future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 22 years old son recently graduated from college with a 95k computer science job. He would like to live with us for at least 7 years so that he can save all of his income on buying a house and for international travel. Is this a good idea? Is it going to be a red flag for potential spouse?

OH hell no. A grown ass man with a grown ass salary doesn't live at home. He's graduated from college and has a job, time to be an adult. Seriously, how is he going to learn the basics of adult life living at home? Honestly, I'd be embarrassed if I was you.

The basics of adult life like...unnecessarily paying rent to a landlord when he could save for his future instead? (Like the majority of people on the earth do.) God bless America.

OP: flip the pitch and ask yourself how you'd want your son to react if you needed to move in with him if/when you need elder-care later in life.

I think planning ahead for 7 years is also unnecessary, take it a few months at a time and see how it goes. Multiple generations who can live under one roof is a blessing not to be unappreciated.

Why didn’t he just live at home in college if he wanted to sav
e money? Did he live on campus all 4 years?

Because college is a time to learn and grow as a person which means investing in your future.. It’s not meant to be a time to save money for your future.

But living at home as a full-blown adult is?

[Anonymous]

This thread is weird. Is there no virtue in being an independent adult, on your own anymore?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is weird. Is there no virtue in being an independent adult, on your own anymore?

No, it's better to raise overgrown children who "know the value of saving" because they've never had to spend a cent of their own money they've made themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 22 years old son recently graduated from college with a 95k computer science job. He would like to live with us for at least 7 years so that he can save all of his income on buying a house and for international travel. Is this a good idea? Is it going to be a red flag for potential spouse?

DH here. I'd suggest your husband talk to him. I'd tell him to "go your way".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 22 years old son recently graduated from college with a 95k computer science job. He would like to live with us for at least 7 years so that he can save all of his income on buying a house and for international travel. Is this a good idea? Is it going to be a red flag for potential spouse?

SMART kid. Good job mom. I would be very proud.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Make him grow up. 1 year max.

Oh stop. Leave him be!

See how he feels in a couple of years. Don't have to make life decisions right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 22 years old son recently graduated from college with a 95k computer science job. He would like to live with us for at least 7 years so that he can save all of his income on buying a house and for international travel. Is this a good idea? Is it going to be a red flag for potential spouse?

OH hell no. A grown ass man with a grown ass salary doesn't live at home. He's graduated from college and has a job, time to be an adult. Seriously, how is he going to learn the basics of adult life living at home? Honestly, I'd be embarrassed if I was you.

The basics of adult life like...unnecessarily paying rent to a landlord when he could save for his future instead? (Like the majority of people on the earth do.) God bless America.

OP: flip the pitch and ask yourself how you'd want your son to react if you needed to move in with him if/when you need elder-care later in life.

I think planning ahead for 7 years is also unnecessary, take it a few months at a time and see how it goes. Multiple generations who can live under one roof is a blessing not to be unappreciated.

Why didn’t he just live at home in college if he wanted to save money? Did he live on campus all 4 years?

probably not within commuting distance

[Anonymous]

It's foolish to pay rent when you can avoid it. I think he is seeing the difference between his sister's and brother's finances and want to look out for his interest.

If your older kids were not made to pay anything when they stayed with you it will be hard to make him pay for anything. He seems to be sweet kid who wants to pay money for his sister.

You sound like a close-knit Patel family.

The relationship with the sophomore...it may be what is driving him to save money and have a house before he married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 22 years old son recently graduated from college with a 95k computer science job. He would like to live with us for at least 7 years so that he can save all of his income on buying a house and for international travel. Is this a good idea? Is it going to be a red flag for potential spouse?

SMART kid. Good job mom. I would be very proud.

Yup. He seems to have a plan. He will be a responsible father and husband. He will probably get married sooner rather than later. He is used to a good life and wants to have that for his own family too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is weird. Is there no virtue in being an independent adult, on your own anymore?

Nope. The virtue is in not being in debt or broke. Virtue is in being able to afford a SAH spouse so that kids are looked after. Virtue is in having familial support. Virtue is in giving a leg up to your kids. Virtue is in being fiscally responsible and safeguarding your family. Virtue is in not being White but still creating advantages for your children by being frugal and smart about money, education and network..

I am predicting that this is an Indian-American kid and lives in Potomac or Arlington. He will continue to date and travel and save money. He will get his girlfriends home because he has a separate apartment.
His sophomore girlfriend is another Asian -American. She does not want to get married to a broke person. She wants to live in Bethesda for the schools. She is pre-med. It will take her 7 more years to become a doctor.