6th grader is only kid in his peer group without a phone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Biking is better than Netflix which is better than video games which might be better than cell phones for 11 and 12 yo’s. Depends on the game and the kid.

And biking is literally the #1 cause of concussion and head injury in kids.

Everything has risks and rewards. Netflix can be super-addictive. Video gaming is at least active whereas binge-watching shows is passive. Cell phone are tools. My kid uses hers for audible and kindle, texting (lots of rules about that,) managing her calendar, chore-tracking, and a few other things.

Phones -- personal, portable networked computers! -- are incredibly powerful tools. That power should be respected, and they should be used with care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Biking is better than Netflix which is better than video games which might be better than cell phones for 11 and 12 yo’s. Depends on the game and the kid.

And biking is literally the #1 cause of concussion and head injury in kids.

Everything has risks and rewards. Netflix can be super-addictive. Video gaming is at least active whereas binge-watching shows is passive. Cell phone are tools. My kid uses hers for audible and kindle, texting (lots of rules about that,) managing her calendar, chore-tracking, and a few other things.

Phones -- personal, portable networked computers! -- are incredibly powerful tools. That power should be respected, and they should be used with care.

The level of denial and rationalization here is truly mind-boggling. It is unreal what parents will do to justify short-term convenience over long-term health and well-being.

[Anonymous]

My 8th grader has had an iPod that she can text from since 6th grade. She just needs wifi. It is enough that she can keep in touch with friends. Our rule has been you have to buy your own phone and you can't until 9th grade. I have no doubt she will buy one next year. She is going to be a challenge as she is a social butterfly and would chat with friends 24/7 if the opportunity was there. Hopefully she will mature out of it but she also seems to get caught up in a lot of friend drama and I have no doubt she will be in many group chats and will be right in the middle of everything going on.

My 10th grader has a phone but he isn't a big texter and I doubt he even keeps it with him most of the time. He isn't the most social kid and has no interest in the gossipy chats. He has ADHD and he never has it with him when I want to coordinate a pick up or ask him something.

My 12th grader has a phone and uses it very responsibly. She is a rule follower and is just a really mature kid and I don't really have to worry about her use. She makes good decisions, has good friends, and manages her own life pretty independently as it is. I haven't looked at her phone in probably two years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:By 9th grade, all of modern social life is on the phone. I'll ask my HS DD if she wants to meet her friends at the mall. Round 'em up, I'll drop you off for a few hours. She'll say, "Why?" She's been talking all morning with her friends by text, so she's all caught up on their latest.

Plus, getting her friends' parents to agree to allow their 15 and 16-year-olds to spend the afternoon together walking around the mall would require three days and five committees to discuss, and in the end it wouldn't happen, anyway. It's just a waste of time trying to get parents to agree to it.

So it's a combo of tech use AND helicopter parenting not giving teens any space to do the things that their parents so freely did as teens. Their phones are their social life lines. That's just the way it is now.

ohhhhh don't get me started on the helicopter parenting. This is the biggest part of why these suburban kids are phone addicts! They are not allowed any independence at all. My daughter is happy to put her phone away, wanted to go to the smithsonian on the metro with friends this summer, and the parents just wouldn't allow it. Insane.

FWIW my kids -- four tweens and teens, all have phones -- prefer to actually speak to friends and FaceTime or Skype whenever that's possible. The oldest says he only really texts for quick functional communication (e.g. where are you, what time is practice.) The next oldest has notifications turned off for everything and his friends know to actually call if they want to get in touch.

I do monitor total screen time and break it down by app and I've found that after an initial climb and peak, they each use their phone in general and social media in particular less with each passing semester.

[Anonymous]

Oh for those of you that think your protected little darling isn't exposed to the big bad dangerous world of cellular communications because they have an iPad or Touch but no calling - think again. They are sneaking those in their backpacks and tethering to their friend's hotspots. They know how to turn off location services temporarily and turn them back on before you're off work. They are using your phone, your computer, their siblings' phone and computers, their siblings' friends devices... They go to the apple store at the mall and use them. These are a million ways to get online.

I have even seen an app that hides other apps (so you don't know why have it.) And I haven't seen this yet, but I would bet good money there is an app out there that provides false location data to parents who are trying to track their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes they all have phones and it’s terrible parenting. It sucks.

This is very judgmental - some kids are mature enough to handle a phone in middle school and don't abuse it. For some families, a phone supports logistics and safety. My kids knew I was monitoring their usage, and that if they abused the privilege, the phone would be taken away. Every parent needs to make a decision that aligns with their family values, finances, parenting style and child's personality/needs. What works for my kid and family may not work for yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Biking is better than Netflix which is better than video games which might be better than cell phones for 11 and 12 yo’s. Depends on the game and the kid.

And biking is literally the #1 cause of concussion and head injury in kids.

Everything has risks and rewards. Netflix can be super-addictive. Video gaming is at least active whereas binge-watching shows is passive. Cell phone are tools. My kid uses hers for audible and kindle, texting (lots of rules about that,) managing her calendar, chore-tracking, and a few other things.

Phones -- personal, portable networked computers! -- are incredibly powerful tools. That power should be respected, and they should be used with care.

LOL. Wow. Just, wow.

[Anonymous]

Mom of twins in 12th grade here....they are my only two...I never got the "do over" kid and there's no parent manual...we all make choices that in the end maybe we regret a little, but would we truly go back and do it differently?

I'm a firm believer in that every parent has to make a decision involving their child(ren) based on knowing their own child and situation. Every case is different.

Here's my two cent advice. I waited until middle school (7th grade for us) but only relented in giving them cell phones because I work FT and they walked home (about 1 mile) alone and sometimes one (usually my daughter) would stay after school for an activity and walk home alone. My choice had nothing to do with peer pressure and whether or not they would have any friends. And trust me...even seven years ago I got the "all my friends have phones" speech from my 6th grade daughter...but if pressured it was clear that not "all" of them did have phones.

Did they get "addicted" to their phones....yes. But I was able to curb that a little by "locking" their phones during certain times (easily done via Verizon website).

Do I regret giving them both cell phones in 7th grade? No. It actually became useful for punishments as it was always a "privilege" to be taken away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Biking is better than Netflix which is better than video games which might be better than cell phones for 11 and 12 yo’s. Depends on the game and the kid.

And biking is literally the #1 cause of concussion and head injury in kids.

Everything has risks and rewards. Netflix can be super-addictive. Video gaming is at least active whereas binge-watching shows is passive. Cell phone are tools. My kid uses hers for audible and kindle, texting (lots of rules about that,) managing her calendar, chore-tracking, and a few other things.

Phones -- personal, portable networked computers! -- are incredibly powerful tools. That power should be respected, and they should be used with care.

LOL. Wow. Just, wow.

The humor is the point. Obviously it's ridiculous not to let your kids ride bikes... Or ride in cars, even though crashes are one of the top causes of death in teens. We DO regulate that. We don't say, no cars, or demonize cars. That is because they are machines and they don't have moral qualities.

[Anonymous]

We let them ride bikes and ride in cars because the rewards and/or the necessity are greater than the risks. That’s not the case with cell phones in sixth grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Biking is better than Netflix which is better than video games which might be better than cell phones for 11 and 12 yo’s. Depends on the game and the kid.

And biking is literally the #1 cause of concussion and head injury in kids.

Everything has risks and rewards. Netflix can be super-addictive. Video gaming is at least active whereas binge-watching shows is passive. Cell phone are tools. My kid uses hers for audible and kindle, texting (lots of rules about that,) managing her calendar, chore-tracking, and a few other things.

Phones -- personal, portable networked computers! -- are incredibly powerful tools. That power should be respected, and they should be used with care.

LOL. Wow. Just, wow.

Wow what?

My best friends 6 year old just fractured his skull riding his bike (while wearing a helmet, before anyone asks). It’s ok to overstate the risks of phones but not bike riding? Her poor kids isn’t going to fully recover for 3-6 months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We let them ride bikes and ride in cars because the rewards and/or the necessity are greater than the risks. That’s not the case with cell phones in sixth grade.

And you know this how?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We let them ride bikes and ride in cars because the rewards and/or the necessity are greater than the risks. That’s not the case with cell phones in sixth grade.

And you know this how?

Common sense; good judgment; watching my friends’ kids; insight from teachers, psychiatrists, and pediatricians; knowing my own children and children in general; lots of reading and research about the loss of playtime, outside time, human connection, and the related rise in anxiety in young people; inside tech knowledge; etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Biking is better than Netflix which is better than video games which might be better than cell phones for 11 and 12 yo’s. Depends on the game and the kid.

And biking is literally the #1 cause of concussion and head injury in kids.

Everything has risks and rewards. Netflix can be super-addictive. Video gaming is at least active whereas binge-watching shows is passive. Cell phone are tools. My kid uses hers for audible and kindle, texting (lots of rules about that,) managing her calendar, chore-tracking, and a few other things.

Phones -- personal, portable networked computers! -- are incredibly powerful tools. That power should be respected, and they should be used with care.

LOL. Wow. Just, wow.

The humor is the point. Obviously it's ridiculous not to let your kids ride bikes... Or ride in cars, even though crashes are one of the top causes of death in teens. We DO regulate that. We don't say, no cars, or demonize cars. That is because they are machines and they don't have moral qualities.

The positive benefits of bike riding are endless. The positive benefits of cell phones are limited to: my car broke down and I need help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Biking is better than Netflix which is better than video games which might be better than cell phones for 11 and 12 yo’s. Depends on the game and the kid.

And biking is literally the #1 cause of concussion and head injury in kids.

Everything has risks and rewards. Netflix can be super-addictive. Video gaming is at least active whereas binge-watching shows is passive. Cell phone are tools. My kid uses hers for audible and kindle, texting (lots of rules about that,) managing her calendar, chore-tracking, and a few other things.

Phones -- personal, portable networked computers! -- are incredibly powerful tools. That power should be respected, and they should be used with care.

LOL. Wow. Just, wow.

The humor is the point. Obviously it's ridiculous not to let your kids ride bikes... Or ride in cars, even though crashes are one of the top causes of death in teens. We DO regulate that. We don't say, no cars, or demonize cars. That is because they are machines and they don't have moral qualities.

The positive benefits of bike riding are endless. The positive benefits of cell phones are limited to: my car broke down and I need help.

You can’t think of any other benefits to a cell phone than that one lame one?
This surprises me, considering the presumed intelligence of most DCUM posters.