How to have "the talk"

[Anonymous]

Agree with PP it’s all about libido.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know what would be really hot? If while we’re at dinner, i slide my hand under your panties and (fill in the blank) with your hands until I’m squirming in my seat. Then, on our ride home you find your mouth (fill in the blank) while I’m driving. DW, that would really drive me up the wall.”

I'm curious as to whether wives would generally appreciate this sort of comment from their husbands or not. My wife struggles to be sexual and has told me as much. She'd regard this kind of comment as pressure to have sex which would kill her libido.

Showing direct desire and saying it in a way that is sexy..yes. Of course timing is everything. The biggest way to turn me on lies between my ears.

You want him to lie to you? Now I'm really confused. I hate being lied to

PP was referencing the medulla olbongata

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know what would be really hot? If while we’re at dinner, i slide my hand under your panties and (fill in the blank) with your hands until I’m squirming in my seat. Then, on our ride home you find your mouth (fill in the blank) while I’m driving. DW, that would really drive me up the wall.”

I'm curious as to whether wives would generally appreciate this sort of comment from their husbands or not. My wife struggles to be sexual and has told me as much. She'd regard this kind of comment as pressure to have sex which would kill her libido.

Showing direct desire and saying it in a way that is sexy..yes. Of course timing is everything. The biggest way to turn me on lies between my ears.

You want him to lie to you? Now I'm really confused. I hate being lied to

PP was referencing the medulla olbongata

I would love that. I'm stuck with an obshortgata

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know what would be really hot? If while we’re at dinner, i slide my hand under your panties and (fill in the blank) with your hands until I’m squirming in my seat. Then, on our ride home you find your mouth (fill in the blank) while I’m driving. DW, that would really drive me up the wall.”

I'm curious as to whether wives would generally appreciate this sort of comment from their husbands or not. My wife struggles to be sexual and has told me as much. She'd regard this kind of comment as pressure to have sex which would kill her libido.

Showing direct desire and saying it in a way that is sexy..yes. Of course timing is everything. The biggest way to turn me on lies between my ears.

You want him to lie to you? Now I'm really confused. I hate being lied to

PP was referencing the medulla olbongata

I would love that. I'm stuck with an obshortgata

LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know what would be really hot? If while we’re at dinner, i slide my hand under your panties and (fill in the blank) with your hands until I’m squirming in my seat. Then, on our ride home you find your mouth (fill in the blank) while I’m driving. DW, that would really drive me up the wall.”

I'm curious as to whether wives would generally appreciate this sort of comment from their husbands or not. My wife struggles to be sexual and has told me as much. She'd regard this kind of comment as pressure to have sex which would kill her libido.

No. I would laugh. This is one specific woman. Find out what your specific woman wants but I doubt it is this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know what would be really hot? If while we’re at dinner, i slide my hand under your panties and (fill in the blank) with your hands until I’m squirming in my seat. Then, on our ride home you find your mouth (fill in the blank) while I’m driving. DW, that would really drive me up the wall.”

I'm curious as to whether wives would generally appreciate this sort of comment from their husbands or not. My wife struggles to be sexual and has told me as much. She'd regard this kind of comment as pressure to have sex which would kill her libido.

A low drive woman would hate this. There is no fix for a low drive spouse. Decide whether or not you can live with it and act accordingly.

Not true a high drive wife just wants a "wanna do it"... all that other stuff is not for high drive people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know what would be really hot? If while we’re at dinner, i slide my hand under your panties and (fill in the blank) with your hands until I’m squirming in my seat. Then, on our ride home you find your mouth (fill in the blank) while I’m driving. DW, that would really drive me up the wall.”

I'm curious as to whether wives would generally appreciate this sort of comment from their husbands or not. My wife struggles to be sexual and has told me as much. She'd regard this kind of comment as pressure to have sex which would kill her libido.

A low drive woman would hate this. There is no fix for a low drive spouse. Decide whether or not you can live with it and act accordingly.

I would love this from my AP and hate it from DH. So, it all comes back to whether she's attracted to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know what would be really hot? If while we’re at dinner, i slide my hand under your panties and (fill in the blank) with your hands until I’m squirming in my seat. Then, on our ride home you find your mouth (fill in the blank) while I’m driving. DW, that would really drive me up the wall.”

I'm curious as to whether wives would generally appreciate this sort of comment from their husbands or not. My wife struggles to be sexual and has told me as much. She'd regard this kind of comment as pressure to have sex which would kill her libido.

A low drive woman would hate this. There is no fix for a low drive spouse. Decide whether or not you can live with it and act accordingly.

Not true a high drive wife just wants a "wanna do it"... all that other stuff is not for high drive people.

Nah, for many it is cerebral. I’m high drive and the DW who wrote it.

[Anonymous]

I didn't read through all the replies, but I'll chime in so you have my perspective.

We have a toddler, and I am tired
When out toddler is finally asleep, I am so tired the only thing I want to do is sleep. Outside of that, I really cannot live in a messy or dirty house, and I have a lot things to do as well that require time in computer. That, and for me to want to do it with DH, I need to f good about myself, have shaved legs etc
If you can take some of those things off of my plate, them I'll have time to make myself feel pretty and clean, and more likely to want to have sex with you.

[Anonymous]

What does she want? Maybe there’s something that really revs her engine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know what would be really hot? If while we’re at dinner, i slide my hand under your panties and (fill in the blank) with your hands until I’m squirming in my seat. Then, on our ride home you find your mouth (fill in the blank) while I’m driving. DW, that would really drive me up the wall.”

I'm curious as to whether wives would generally appreciate this sort of comment from their husbands or not. My wife struggles to be sexual and has told me as much. She'd regard this kind of comment as pressure to have sex which would kill her libido.

A low drive woman would hate this. There is no fix for a low drive spouse. Decide whether or not you can live with it and act accordingly.

Not true a high drive wife just wants a "wanna do it"... all that other stuff is not for high drive people.

Nah, for many it is cerebral. I’m high drive and the DW who wrote it.

You mean it's all in your head. That is different than libido.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All the husbands not good in bed people, were you virgins when you married? Did you wait for marriage before having sex? Is being good in bed a skill you can lose?

I doubt it's a skill he lost, but what happened is he stopped caring about my involvement at all. He used to be attentive, then he stopped, then only cared about himself, so why am I there at all? He became lousy because it became all about him. It's sad for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know what would be really hot? If while we’re at dinner, i slide my hand under your panties and (fill in the blank) with your hands until I’m squirming in my seat. Then, on our ride home you find your mouth (fill in the blank) while I’m driving. DW, that would really drive me up the wall.”

I'm curious as to whether wives would generally appreciate this sort of comment from their husbands or not. My wife struggles to be sexual and has told me as much. She'd regard this kind of comment as pressure to have sex which would kill her libido.

A low drive woman would hate this. There is no fix for a low drive spouse. Decide whether or not you can live with it and act accordingly.

Not true a high drive wife just wants a "wanna do it"... all that other stuff is not for high drive people.

Nah, for many it is cerebral. I’m high drive and the DW who wrote it.

You mean it's all in your head. That is different than libido.

No. It begins as a sexy thought or scenario to turn me on but I’m a high drive spouse. So either way I’m down but it will have maximum effect when approached that way. For OP, he’s looking for frequency right? Imagine what he has done so far isn’t working then approach in a more forward way. In a “I need you right now” versus the waiting game.

[Anonymous]

Good luck OP. I’ve been there and it sucks. Your wife has to feel good about herself and feel desirable, no resentment towards you.

[Anonymous]

As a high drive single person, I really feel for you. My drive has always been high, even through the early stages of menopause (so are my aunts, and mom).

I have had the talk with guys that I am dating and I realize that it is one of the core commonalities that I will not compromise on. Since you are in a different marital status, you just might have to accept that her libido is lower and decide whether you can live with that.

My lower-drive friends do not seem open to changing.

Funny thing, I dated a divorced guy who came from a sexless marriage, he was an excellent lover. There was nothing that he could have done to change his sexless marriage other than divorce. That, of which he did. He had to pay tons of alimony to get out of the marriage so it much have been really important.

She probably won't change.