Unexpected parts of becoming a SAHM to small kids
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Anonymous
Never in a million years did I think I would be a SAHM. Honestly when I was young and single, I looked down at SAHMs. I assumed they weren’t ambitious and/or weren’t very good at their careers. I was working 70-80 hrs when I got pregnant with my first child. I hated coming home so late that he would already be sleeping. I got a 9-5 forty hr per week job but it still wasn’t enough time with my child. I worked 20-30 hours per week when I had my second child. This was when I was least happy. I felt I was half assing everything in my life. It sounds ideal but it wasn’t. With commute, it felt like I still had a full time job. I was always tired. That had more to do with having young kids. I gained weight and felt frumpy. I’m now a SAHM of 3 and feel happy and fulfilled. I am able to work out, spend quality time with my children and just enjoy life. I am in better shape than before having kids. I’m back to a size 4. Life is good. |
Anonymous
It's a stage of life pp. They aren't little forever and you do get your freedom back eventually. Dh & I really didn't need to go out on date nights because once the kids were sleeping through the night we would put them to bed (7pm) and have the rest of the evening together. We made it work. Flash forward a couple of decades later - dh and I do go bar hopping on occasion, we see live music, we even stay out overnight if we want to. It does get easier. But I still remember what it was like to be in the trenches of parenting small children. |
Anonymous
My husband hoped I would become a SAHM, but when we discussed it before we got married he said it was my choice. Then we had kids and he really wanted me to SAH for a while. After our third, I finally did. I lasted 1.5 years and it didn't work for me. I was crying too often and generally depressed. It all lifted immediately when I got a great PT job, and now DH sees that having a SAHM isn't right for our family. |
Anonymous
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How much weight I gained and how out of shape I got.
I eventually lost it when I was back working but it was hard. |
Anonymous
Opposite for me...I was in the best shape of my life when I was home with toddlers. I had a gym nearby with childcare and having that hour to myself was a big motivator to get to the gym consistently. Went back to work, sitting all the time, no time to go to the gym and quickly gained weight. |
Anonymous
| I enjoyed being SAHM all the time but then found a part-time job (24 hours) and love working part time. Something about having a schedule works for me and I like having a blend of SAH and WOH. |
Anonymous
PP here. I think the unstructured days filled with food were hard for me. When I went back to work I wasn't preparing food all the time and I had a regular workout schedule. Those two things were better for me. Also, honestly, I think I got pretty depressed at home and so didn't have the energy. It became a bad cycle. |
Anonymous
+100 With 3 small children, nursing, chasing the kids, playgrounds for like 2+ hours, and eating the kids' leftovers I was in great shape. Being sedentary at a desk (although a standing desk helped) was the worst. |
Anonymous
Yes this but I kind of knew all along that I wanted to work part time. Lot's of women I babysat for in undergrad suggested careers where pt work would work. It was very helpful. I remember lot's of the moms were clearly depressed about going to work. It really kind of sucked as an employee. These things really stuck with me. I also learned a great deal from fights I saw between parents. I remember some of the men would complain about his wife not cleaning the house. The funny thing was that they both worked ft! Little things like this was very eye opening. |
Anonymous
| I had one miracle baby and appreciated every single minute as a SAHM. No regrets. You do you. |
Anonymous
No. This happened as a result of his career taking off to the point that someone needed to be home more, and us having to move for his career. |
Anonymous
Of course this is only a question on DCUM. SAHM is only ok when it happens unexpectedly. |
Anonymous
You're projecting, no one is saying that. In fact some people responded that that's what they planned, did anyone criticize them for it? No. |
Anonymous
I am the poster who responded that it was unexpected. I have seen the same question on babycenter before. There are always many responses. Some people planned to have a SAHP, some people had a child with s/n and two people working was not compatible with the care that was needed. And some people are like me - my dh's 2nd career (he was working at something else when we got married) ended up requiring a move away from my job and very long hours with an unpredictable schedule. I grew up with a single mom who worked and loved her career. Most of my friends' moms worked. My mother still has a hard time with me not working. It bothers her. |
Anonymous
Good thing he said it was “your choice”. I can’t imagine going on a second date with a dude who clearly preferred SAHMs. |