Unexpected parts of becoming a SAHM to small kids
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Anonymous
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Ignoring the big things (financial changes, lack of adult time/intellectual challenge), if you went from WOH to SAH full time, what surprised you most? Positive benefits? Unexpected negative benefits? Unique challenges to staying at home with two toddlers?
Trying to decide if it's time for a change, of if this is a "the grass is always greener" situation... |
Anonymous
| The mind-numbing boredom. I love my kid so much but, seriously, playing the same game seven million times and pushing the swing until my arms fall off were shockingly boring. |
Anonymous
| I was surprised by the loneliness of being home with my kids. I would strike up conversations with gardeners and UPS drivers just to ease my loneliness. |
Anonymous
| Dealing with feelings of resentment toward my husband. I had to screw my head on straight about that. For example, he would forget to take out the trash and I would spend the whole day annoyed he didn’t do it. Because I had all day to fixate on it. |
Anonymous
| How easy and pleasant it is. It is really quite lovely. I was a biglaw lawyer for 10+ years and thought it would be awful. Nope. Really pleasant and very little stress. |
Anonymous
+1 except it want necessarily because I had to fixate but because I felt like I did a ton of house stuff and was annoyed that hadn’t done that one thing. Realistically he takes out of the trash and I never do it, and also does lots of DIY projects so it’s not like he does nothing. |
Anonymous
| ^ that was supposed to say that it wasn’t necessarily because I had time to fixate. |
Anonymous
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How little housework you get done.
My house is 10 x neater as a WOH mom, than when i was a SAHM. |
Anonymous
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The expectation that because you're SaHM you'd do all things house and still be beautiful and an attentive mom.
The good? I learned to view my child as their own person and to enjoy life through their lens. |
Anonymous
This is me too. I really enjoy it. I have taken on some home decor projects, I have a much more organized household, and we have a third which would have not happened had I stayed working. I just really really like it. I am also worked about 10 years before I stayed home. |
Anonymous
| On most days I stay really active with my toddler and have plans outside the house or with other people, but there are days when I'm tired or the kids are sick or things are stressful or its snowing out, and I LOVE LOVE LOVE that while my husband rushes to get dressed and head to work, I just stay there in my pajamas, playing with the kids or making them waffles or whatever. |
Anonymous
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+1 to the boredom & loneliness. And +1 to not having to leave the house on a sick or snow day.
I'm glad I did it in spite of the boredom. I got a P/T WAH job to fill some hours, and make a few bucks. I also did a lot of non-kid work around the house - repairs, painting, projects, etc. Cooked a lot from scratch, and shopped smart on food, diapers, etc. to save our budget. No regrets here. FT job now, and kids are in MS & HS. Made some good Mom friends in my neighborhood, many of whom have gone on to FT jobs too. At the time, they were lifesavers because we'd send kids to each other's houses for long playdates so we could run errands, get haircuts, feel like an adult, etc. Reach out to people - chances are they want to connect. |
Anonymous
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The good: we get sick a lot less. That’s been so great for not just our physical health, but my mental health as well. I was sick constantly for the year my DS was in day care and I was working. It really, really wore on me not just physically but mentally. I remember literally crawling into my then 6 month old’s room to change him in the middle of the night because we both had horrible stomach viruses and I just couldn’t even stand up straight. And I’m not sure who was crying more, me or him. I didn’t want to remember my previous baby’s early life like that.
The bad: I have a lot of guilt about not working ... I’m a good, patient parent who truly enjoys the time at home but I’m also really not good with the other stuff that sometimes goes along with being at home. I’m bad at home decorating, I have a “black thumb” and can handle only the most basic of yard work, I’m disorganized, and not great at coming up with kid activities outside of the usual library story times, going to the park or pool, errands, etc. |
Anonymous
It really, really helps to be an introvert. I absolutely love being home. I love routine, love hanging out with babies, can happily go days without interacting with anyone but DH. I love setting my own schedule, being able to do things on our own time. But I think if you're the type that needs a lot of social interaction or activity in your day you're going to be miserable, at least until the kids are in school full time. To answerthe question though, I don't like that there are no coffee or lunch breaks. You can't just check out for five minutes and scroll through Instagram if you need a mental break when there's a baby screaming in your face. |
Anonymous
| How much messier your house gets when you and your kids are in and out of the house for an extra ten hours a day. |