Stepdaughter, ex and new baby

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is weird. Siblings do not attend birth, parents do.
She is a sibling, not someone who will be part time parent, mother's helper.
Let her live her life. My guess is that [/b]she is too shy to say she doesn't want to be there, so her mom is helping her get out of this.[b]

She should be doing teenager things, not be into babies

+1. Often the kids use “mom won’t let us” as an excuse to get out of something that they don’t want to do. Sometimes they deploy it without asking me. Sometimes they come to me and explain why it is uncomfortable for them and then I refuse permission. When it’s a request for something on my time, I’m not obliged to say why I am declining or to negotiate. This is probably received as me being a bad mom, but in reality, the kid doesn’t want to go and while I may, where appropriate ask them to reframe or reconsider, if they feel strongly, I won’t and can’t force them.

-1 not all familes are dysfunctional like your. In many families siblings even half siblings come to the hospital and celebrate a new sibling. .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Holy sh&t he has a 15 year old and 3 kids under 2?!? Wow

He has 2 kids from the bio mom. Three with the new woman!

You must be a troll. It's perfectly reasonable for op's husband to want to have a baby or two with his new wife.

I'm not a troll nor a bitter ex wife.

Sorry, but the blended family isn't working for the kids. The statistics for 2nd marriages with kids is almost a 70% divorce rate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Holy sh&t he has a 15 year old and 3 kids under 2?!? Wow

He has 2 kids from the bio mom. Three with the new woman!

You must be a troll. It's perfectly reasonable for op's husband to want to have a baby or two with his new wife.

I'm not a troll nor a bitter ex wife.

Sorry, but the blended family isn't working for the kids. The statistics for 2nd marriages with kids is almost a 70% divorce rate.

He has 5 kids?! Jeeze. He must be a real catch otherwise he wouldn't need to trap women into having a brood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH has two children from a previous relationship. I'm currently 36 weeks pregnant with a little girl my step daughter really wants to be there for her sister's birth. We had twin boys 16 months ago that she loves and is really excited to have a little sister. Problem is I'm scheduled for a Saturday when she's with her mom . Her mom is refusing to let her go on the grounds it's her day and it's not really her sister, and she doesn't think it's appropriate for a 15 year old. Mom hates me for "stealing her man and kids" even though she had left them years before I met my husband. She has gone out of her way to make things difficult.

I don't have much hope we can change her mind
But I'm hoping you can help me with ideas to make my stepdaughter feel part of the day her sister is born. Thanks.

So really, why does she think you "stole her man"? There's more going on here imo. Did you start dating him when he was married?

If there are bad feelings leave the woman alone. Apparently you are using the 15 year old as a information broker. Stop doing that, and you knew long ago what days were the mothers. None of the hospital stuff should have been mentioned to the daughter since you knew that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Holy sh&t he has a 15 year old and 3 kids under 2?!? Wow

He has 2 kids from the bio mom. Three with the new woman!

You must be a troll. It's perfectly reasonable for op's husband to want to have a baby or two with his new wife.

I'm not a troll nor a bitter ex wife.

Sorry, but the blended family isn't working for the kids. The statistics for 2nd marriages with kids is almost a 70% divorce rate.

He has 5 kids?! Jeeze. He must be a real catch otherwise he wouldn't need to trap women into having a brood.

Obviously he isn't a catch.

OP never mentioned his other child with BM. Apparently that one isn't thrilled with his dad nor more kids coming into the mix.

[Anonymous]

Op here. No affair. I met my husband long after she and bio mom split. She had no interest in him or the kids until I came into the picture. She threatened me. Step DD asked to come to the hospital. Step dad is happy about this baby and loves his little brothers, but has no desire to be at the hospital. We don't make them babysit. I've done my best to befriend her and be kind to bio mom ,

[Anonymous]

You sound extremely selfish. Everything isn’t about you, your spawn, Your feelings, and your special day. Stop making drama. If you weren’t jealous if the ex wife for some strange reason, you wouldn’t have this much emotionally invested in it.

Let. It. Go. Step daughter can’t be there. You can’t do anything about it. Stop obsessing, stop spending energy on it. Stop dwelling on it. Find something else to occupy your time.

If you REALLY cared, you’d reschedule your c-section. Problem solved in 30 seconds. But this is about you wanting to control the ex wife, and get sympathy that she’s ruining your big day that is all about you, you, you. How dare she not focus on you? And your feelings? And your baby?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound extremely selfish. Everything isn’t about you, your spawn, Your feelings, and your special day. Stop making drama. If you weren’t jealous if the ex wife for some strange reason, you wouldn’t have this much emotionally invested in it.

Let. It. Go. Step daughter can’t be there. You can’t do anything about it. Stop obsessing, stop spending energy on it. Stop dwelling on it. Find something else to occupy your time.

If you REALLY cared, you’d reschedule your c-section. Problem solved in 30 seconds. But this is about you wanting to control the ex wife, and get sympathy that she’s ruining your big day that is all about you, you, you. How dare she not focus on you? And your feelings? And your baby?

Wow. You’re a psycho. Of course OP can care about her stepdaughter and still be unwilling to sacrifice her own health and that of her baby by changing the c-section date.

Wow. Some people are insane. I can see why the PP is divorced.

[Anonymous]

Clearly its "psycho" to suggest that the whole world doesn't bend over backwards to accommodate her pregnancy.

Sorry, when you marry into an existing family, it's unrealistic and immature to add to the stress that inherently comes with a blended family by pitching a fit over something as truly irrelevant as this. It's a big deal to OP because it's her pregnancy, but to the ex wife it's just one more addition to her ex's litter.

This is not some crisis. SIblings miss the birth of each other ALL THE TIME. Grandparents, even spouses sometimes miss the birth.
If OP wants to make this a thing, she's on the path to joining the 75% of second marriages that fail. She's got to learn how to let go of things she can't control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Clearly its "psycho" to suggest that the whole world doesn't bend over backwards to accommodate her pregnancy.

Sorry, when you marry into an existing family, it's unrealistic and immature to add to the stress that inherently comes with a blended family by pitching a fit over something as truly irrelevant as this. It's a big deal to OP because it's her pregnancy, but to the ex wife it's just one more addition to her ex's litter.

This is not some crisis. SIblings miss the birth of each other ALL THE TIME. Grandparents, even spouses sometimes miss the birth.
If OP wants to make this a thing, she's on the path to joining the 75% of second marriages that fail. She's got to learn how to let go of things she can't control.

Poor bitter ex wife. You are truly a sad and pathetic person. Easy to see why your husband left you for another woman.

[Anonymous]

Nope. I've been married for 23 years. But my parents divorced, and my step mother behaved much like OP and it was awful. She had 3 kids with my dad and thought the whole world revolved around her babies. As teenagers, we were expected to babysit, plan our activities around nap time, etc.. We ended up spending more and more time at our mom's house to get away from her and her spoiled kids. Our dad resented it, too. He had already done the baby thing 4 times at that point, so didn't think every sniffle and babble was earth shattering. They divorced about 3 years after her second kid.

I'm telling you, lady... let it go. It's not worth this petty drama. The fact that you are on the internet calling a stranger names doesn't bode well for your ability to navigate blended family dynamics.

[Anonymous]

Pp here... correction, divorced 3 years after 3rd kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope. I've been married for 23 years. But my parents divorced, and my step mother behaved much like OP and it was awful. She had 3 kids with my dad and thought the whole world revolved around her babies. As teenagers, we were expected to babysit, plan our activities around nap time, etc.. We ended up spending more and more time at our mom's house to get away from her and her spoiled kids. Our dad resented it, too. He had already done the baby thing 4 times at that point, so didn't think every sniffle and babble was earth shattering. They divorced about 3 years after her second kid.

I'm telling you, lady... let it go. It's not worth this petty drama. The fact that you are on the internet calling a stranger names doesn't bode well for your ability to navigate blended family dynamics.

.
How is op behaving? She seems perfectly lovely. You seem crazy and in need of some therapy.

[Anonymous]

And this, my friends, is why second marriages fail at such a high rate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And this, my friends, is why second marriages fail at such a high rate.

.yes. because the ex wives are insane.