Why is it so easy for some women to find a husband and not others?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women who are better looking, more confident/outgoing/secure in their attractiveness, around more eligible men, and more interested in dating will have an easier time. All things held equal, however, a lot is good fortune.

I think a lot also has to do with knowing the demographic you appeal to. I have had an easier time in love than my sister. I am taller, thinner, and more conventionally attractive. But she has a prettier face and is more outgoing and social. Crucially, however, we have similar tastes in men, but those men tend to go for women more like me. I think she adopted my tastes without considering if they would work for her. She would have done better, for instance, pursuing men who are more likely to value curves.

But a lot of it is still luck IMO.

There is a certain kind of girl/woman who has a lot of luck in terms of dating and marrying early.

From what I observe:

-conventionally attractive. Talk to medium height, thin, natural curves to be feminine but not too curvy
- styles like a “basic b*tch. Conservative and feminine clothing that accentuates body and conveys sexuality without being too in your face. Subtle makeup that highlights features,long straight hair, toned body
- conventional interests. Don’t be quirky. Goths, comic book nerds and geeky girls do not apply.
- be submissive and feminine, no loud mouth feminists or super smart nerdy girls who can out do the guys socially or professionally.
- know how to be subtly sexy, be coy and girly. Project the female energy so guys pick up on it.

This is overall silly nonsense. Getting married younger has much more to do with “dating with intention” in your younger years. Find the serious, mature, family-minded young men (YES THEY EXIST!!!) and seek them out. It’s going to mean bypassing the cool party guys, but that’s ok. The list you gave is basically the “party girls” and they do not get married young, at all. But I know loads and loads of plain Janes (like myself!), geeks, smart girls, ambitious girls, girls with a few extra pounds, and girls who have never flirted in their life, who were married between 23-27 and are still married. Btw the trick to still being happily married into your 30s and avoiding divorce is don’t be too quick to pop out a kid. Wait at least 2-3 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women who are better looking, more confident/outgoing/secure in their attractiveness, around more eligible men, and more interested in dating will have an easier time. All things held equal, however, a lot is good fortune.

I think a lot also has to do with knowing the demographic you appeal to. I have had an easier time in love than my sister. I am taller, thinner, and more conventionally attractive. But she has a prettier face and is more outgoing and social. Crucially, however, we have similar tastes in men, but those men tend to go for women more like me. I think she adopted my tastes without considering if they would work for her. She would have done better, for instance, pursuing men who are more likely to value curves.

But a lot of it is still luck IMO.

There is a certain kind of girl/woman who has a lot of luck in terms of dating and marrying early.

From what I observe:

-conventionally attractive. Talk to medium height, thin, natural curves to be feminine but not too curvy
- styles like a “basic b*tch. Conservative and feminine clothing that accentuates body and conveys sexuality without being too in your face. Subtle makeup that highlights features,long straight hair, toned body
- conventional interests. Don’t be quirky. Goths, comic book nerds and geeky girls do not apply.
- be submissive and feminine, no loud mouth feminists or super smart nerdy girls who can out do the guys socially or professionally.
- know how to be subtly sexy, be coy and girly. Project the female energy so guys pick up on it.

This is overall silly nonsense. Getting married younger has much more to do with “dating with intention” in your younger years. Find the serious, mature, family-minded young men (YES THEY EXIST!!!) and seek them out. It’s going to mean bypassing the cool party guys, but that’s ok. The list you gave is basically the “party girls” and they do not get married young, at all. But I know loads and loads of plain Janes (like myself!), geeks, smart girls, ambitious girls, girls with a few extra pounds, and girls who have never flirted in their life, who were married between 23-27 and are still married. Btw the trick to still being happily married into your 30s and avoiding divorce is don’t be too quick to pop out a kid. Wait at least 2-3 years.

All the party girls I know are married to doctors and are SAHMs.

[Anonymous]

I married my first boyfriend. We met when I was 19 and he was 26. We married when I was 22. I think him being older helped. He had already dated and was cheated on by his girlfriend before me, so knew what he wanted and didn't want. I'm pretty average looking, average weight, average height. Not ugly, but more cute than pretty. We did start out as friends which I think is important. We didn't start dating until six months after we met. I honestly did just get really lucky. Ten years in we are very happy and very in love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women who are better looking, more confident/outgoing/secure in their attractiveness, around more eligible men, and more interested in dating will have an easier time. All things held equal, however, a lot is good fortune.

I think a lot also has to do with knowing the demographic you appeal to. I have had an easier time in love than my sister. I am taller, thinner, and more conventionally attractive. But she has a prettier face and is more outgoing and social. Crucially, however, we have similar tastes in men, but those men tend to go for women more like me. I think she adopted my tastes without considering if they would work for her. She would have done better, for instance, pursuing men who are more likely to value curves.

But a lot of it is still luck IMO.

There is a certain kind of girl/woman who has a lot of luck in terms of dating and marrying early.

From what I observe:

-conventionally attractive. Talk to medium height, thin, natural curves to be feminine but not too curvy
- styles like a “basic b*tch. Conservative and feminine clothing that accentuates body and conveys sexuality without being too in your face. Subtle makeup that highlights features,long straight hair, toned body
- conventional interests. Don’t be quirky. Goths, comic book nerds and geeky girls do not apply.
- be submissive and feminine, no loud mouth feminists or super smart nerdy girls who can out do the guys socially or professionally.
- know how to be subtly sexy, be coy and girly. Project the female energy so guys pick up on it.

Argh, your pieces of advice are so outdated.

I have to admit most of those are what guys like. The "submissive" part was pretty offensive though. I didn't agree with "geeky", many are cute and make good partners.

I didn't view that PP as giving advice on what was "right" traits for women. But more or less conveying their observations of the sample size of women who got married early to their college sweetheart. I'd agree with most of what that PP stated. Women who marry young and marry well tend to not have "big" personalities, IMHO.

The pp is spot on.Not to say that other types of women don’t find their men but it takes them longer as they are special flavors only enjoyed by certain kinds of men. Look at Amal Clooney for example. She is beautiful, sophisticated and intelligent with a killer career and social status. The only man who would not be threatened by her would be George freaking Clooney. I bet she had a hard time dating when she was younger.

Average Betty who is pretty and preppy would have all the guys crushing on her. The geeks the nerds the jocks the class presidents. The normal conventionally pretty girls who are inoffensive and blend in so really well because any man can paint a story in his head with her as his wife. Men especially do not want to be outleaged and outclassed.All three girls I know who married rich successful guys are the same: conventionally pretty although not model good looks, modest but feminine in classic preppy clothes, quiet and happy to pass the spotlight to their much more successful and charming husband.

Dear god you know Amal is a beard, right?

Anyway, yes a supportive, gentle personality is highly prized by top men. Young women finding themselves should take note if they want to marry well. Being a good partner to a high quality man is a great life choice and beneficial to the woman, the man, their kids, and the community at large.

Amal Clooney only cares about her next designer dress and adds nothing of value to the world.
,

What a sexist and misinformed post.
So... human rights lawyers add nothing of value to the world???

If they are good and actually care about their job than sure. That does not apply to Amal Clooney.

[Anonymous]

If you are an attractive, smart, fun, sane and on your way to being a successful young woman it's a lot easier to find a husband then if you are none of those. Even then it takes a lot of luck and having plenty of opportunities to cross paths with good men.

[Anonymous]

Amal Clooney only cares about her next designer dress and adds nothing of value to the world.

She is an international human rights lawyer. She has probably done more in the last 24 hours to add value to the world than you will do in your entire life. She doesn't have to look frumpy doing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women who are better looking, more confident/outgoing/secure in their attractiveness, around more eligible men, and more interested in dating will have an easier time. All things held equal, however, a lot is good fortune.

I think a lot also has to do with knowing the demographic you appeal to. I have had an easier time in love than my sister. I am taller, thinner, and more conventionally attractive. But she has a prettier face and is more outgoing and social. Crucially, however, we have similar tastes in men, but those men tend to go for women more like me. I think she adopted my tastes without considering if they would work for her. She would have done better, for instance, pursuing men who are more likely to value curves.

But a lot of it is still luck IMO.

There is a certain kind of girl/woman who has a lot of luck in terms of dating and marrying early.

From what I observe:

-conventionally attractive. Talk to medium height, thin, natural curves to be feminine but not too curvy
- styles like a “basic b*tch. Conservative and feminine clothing that accentuates body and conveys sexuality without being too in your face. Subtle makeup that highlights features,long straight hair, toned body
- conventional interests. Don’t be quirky. Goths, comic book nerds and geeky girls do not apply.
- be submissive and feminine, no loud mouth feminists or super smart nerdy girls who can out do the guys socially or professionally.
- know how to be subtly sexy, be coy and girly. Project the female energy so guys pick up on it.

This is overall silly nonsense. Getting married younger has much more to do with “dating with intention” in your younger years. Find the serious, mature, family-minded young men (YES THEY EXIST!!!) and seek them out. It’s going to mean bypassing the cool party guys, but that’s ok. The list you gave is basically the “party girls” and they do not get married young, at all. But I know loads and loads of plain Janes (like myself!), geeks, smart girls, ambitious girls, girls with a few extra pounds, and girls who have never flirted in their life, who were married between 23-27 and are still married. Btw the trick to still being happily married into your 30s and avoiding divorce is don’t be too quick to pop out a kid. Wait at least 2-3 years.

All the party girls I know are married to doctors and are SAHMs.

And they probably dated with intention. My point is that anyone can choose partners who are interested in marriage and not leading them on, or anyone can choose unattainable partners who aren’t interested in getting married. You definitely don’t have to look or act a certain way to get married young.

[Anonymous]

quite frankly, it's the size of your boo-some.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Personally, I don't think marrying your first boyfriend is winning.

Why?

I know a girl who married her first boyfriend that she met at 23. He is smart rich good looking and has a great job. He is also madly in love with her. She couldn’t be happier.

That's a sample of one.

And why do you think it's universally a problem to marry your first BF?

It doesn’t usually work out as you mature a lot in your 20’s. Though I think that it works out if you wait to marry until your mid 20’s - that seems to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Amal Clooney only cares about her next designer dress and adds nothing of value to the world.

She is an international human rights lawyer. She has probably done more in the last 24 hours to add value to the world than you will do in your entire life. She doesn't have to look frumpy doing it.

+1,000,000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women who are better looking, more confident/outgoing/secure in their attractiveness, around more eligible men, and more interested in dating will have an easier time. All things held equal, however, a lot is good fortune.

I think a lot also has to do with knowing the demographic you appeal to. I have had an easier time in love than my sister. I am taller, thinner, and more conventionally attractive. But she has a prettier face and is more outgoing and social. Crucially, however, we have similar tastes in men, but those men tend to go for women more like me. I think she adopted my tastes without considering if they would work for her. She would have done better, for instance, pursuing men who are more likely to value curves.

But a lot of it is still luck IMO.

There is a certain kind of girl/woman who has a lot of luck in terms of dating and marrying early.

From what I observe:

-conventionally attractive. Talk to medium height, thin, natural curves to be feminine but not too curvy
- styles like a “basic b*tch. Conservative and feminine clothing that accentuates body and conveys sexuality without being too in your face. Subtle makeup that highlights features,long straight hair, toned body
- conventional interests. Don’t be quirky. Goths, comic book nerds and geeky girls do not apply.
- be submissive and feminine, no loud mouth feminists or super smart nerdy girls who can out do the guys socially or professionally.
- know how to be subtly sexy, be coy and girly. Project the female energy so guys pick up on it.

This is overall silly nonsense. Getting married younger has much more to do with “dating with intention” in your younger years. Find the serious, mature, family-minded young men (YES THEY EXIST!!!) and seek them out. It’s going to mean bypassing the cool party guys, but that’s ok. The list you gave is basically the “party girls” and they do not get married young, at all. But I know loads and loads of plain Janes (like myself!), geeks, smart girls, ambitious girls, girls with a few extra pounds, and girls who have never flirted in their life, who were married between 23-27 and are still married. Btw the trick to still being happily married into your 30s and avoiding divorce is don’t be too quick to pop out a kid. Wait at least 2-3 years.

Also - be kind and considerate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women who are better looking, more confident/outgoing/secure in their attractiveness, around more eligible men, and more interested in dating will have an easier time. All things held equal, however, a lot is good fortune.

I think a lot also has to do with knowing the demographic you appeal to. I have had an easier time in love than my sister. I am taller, thinner, and more conventionally attractive. But she has a prettier face and is more outgoing and social. Crucially, however, we have similar tastes in men, but those men tend to go for women more like me. I think she adopted my tastes without considering if they would work for her. She would have done better, for instance, pursuing men who are more likely to value curves.

But a lot of it is still luck IMO.

There is a certain kind of girl/woman who has a lot of luck in terms of dating and marrying early.

From what I observe:

-conventionally attractive. Talk to medium height, thin, natural curves to be feminine but not too curvy
- styles like a “basic b*tch. Conservative and feminine clothing that accentuates body and conveys sexuality without being too in your face. Subtle makeup that highlights features,long straight hair, toned body
- conventional interests. Don’t be quirky. Goths, comic book nerds and geeky girls do not apply.
- be submissive and feminine, no loud mouth feminists or super smart nerdy girls who can out do the guys socially or professionally.
- know how to be subtly sexy, be coy and girly. Project the female energy so guys pick up on it.

Argh, your pieces of advice are so outdated.

I have to admit most of those are what guys like. The "submissive" part was pretty offensive though. I didn't agree with "geeky", many are cute and make good partners.

I didn't view that PP as giving advice on what was "right" traits for women. But more or less conveying their observations of the sample size of women who got married early to their college sweetheart. I'd agree with most of what that PP stated. Women who marry young and marry well tend to not have "big" personalities, IMHO.

The pp is spot on.Not to say that other types of women don’t find their men but it takes them longer as they are special flavors only enjoyed by certain kinds of men. Look at Amal Clooney for example. She is beautiful, sophisticated and intelligent with a killer career and social status. The only man who would not be threatened by her would be George freaking Clooney. I bet she had a hard time dating when she was younger.

Average Betty who is pretty and preppy would have all the guys crushing on her. The geeks the nerds the jocks the class presidents. The normal conventionally pretty girls who are inoffensive and blend in so really well because any man can paint a story in his head with her as his wife. Men especially do not want to be outleaged and outclassed.All three girls I know who married rich successful guys are the same: conventionally pretty although not model good looks, modest but feminine in classic preppy clothes, quiet and happy to pass the spotlight to their much more successful and charming husband.

I don't believe this. I was the uber achiever in college. Student body president. Member of the board of trustees. Valedictorian. Rhodes scholar. After college I went on to impressive grad schools and now make great money. I also had my pick of guys in college. I ended up picking a great one, after dating many, and we have been married for 12 years, together for 19 years.

That may have been your experience, but, in my experience, PP is spot on. I was beautiful, successful, cool, funny, warm, kind and intelligent (and I had an amazing body too!). I fell in love with 3 guys and they all dumped me and married the same type of mousy average Bettys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Amal Clooney only cares about her next designer dress and adds nothing of value to the world.

She is an international human rights lawyer. She has probably done more in the last 24 hours to add value to the world than you will do in your entire life. She doesn't have to look frumpy doing it.

And the last case she actually worked on was? She is a phony, sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Personally, I don't think marrying your first boyfriend is winning.

Why?

I know a girl who married her first boyfriend that she met at 23. He is smart rich good looking and has a great job. He is also madly in love with her. She couldn’t be happier.

That's a sample of one.

And why do you think it's universally a problem to marry your first BF?

No experience. You're putting all your eggs in one basket with no comparison to what else could be out there for you. See the DCUM thread on marrying young and then wanting out of the marriage in your 40's. But hey, some people would just rather be married than actually have a successful, fulfilling marriage.

I met my future husband at 19. He was my third boyfriend. We have a successful, fulfilling, happy marriage. Married 15 years, together 20, 3 kids.

So now you have a larger sample size.

Do you work?

How is that relevant to the success of a marriage?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Amal Clooney only cares about her next designer dress and adds nothing of value to the world.

She is an international human rights lawyer. She has probably done more in the last 24 hours to add value to the world than you will do in your entire life. She doesn't have to look frumpy doing it.

And the last case she actually worked on was? She is a phony, sorry.

The least you could do is a simple search so you don't look so desperately jealous. She is representing Yazidi women against a company who has financed ISIS and committed crimes against humanity. That is just the most recent. She has been fighting for victims of ISIS, human trafficking and other atrocities for years.

Now you go. What have you done that tops the contributions of Mrs. Clooney for the greater good of the world?