Why is it so easy for some women to find a husband and not others?

[Anonymous]

Sometimes marrying your first boyfriend is good. But sometimes it isn't!

But I wasn't ready to be married at 17-18. Hell no. I knew he wasn't the one for me. We dated until I went to college. I don't think I failed because I knew that I wanted to go to college and meet lots of other people.

And I don't think getting married means you've won the lottery, frankly. It means you've found a partner, that's all.

[Anonymous]

For me, it's because I was socially awkward and took a long time to become comfortable in my own skin. Young men weren't interested in the awkward word vomit comic book reading young woman I was, but once I matured a little and worked out being so nervous and sweaty in social situations, I met men who appreciated that I was quirky and cute.

[Anonymous]

Women who are better looking, more confident/outgoing/secure in their attractiveness, around more eligible men, and more interested in dating will have an easier time. All things held equal, however, a lot is good fortune.

I think a lot also has to do with knowing the demographic you appeal to. I have had an easier time in love than my sister. I am taller, thinner, and more conventionally attractive. But she has a prettier face and is more outgoing and social. Crucially, however, we have similar tastes in men, but those men tend to go for women more like me. I think she adopted my tastes without considering if they would work for her. She would have done better, for instance, pursuing men who are more likely to value curves.

But a lot of it is still luck IMO.

[Anonymous]

My high school boyfriend is a mechanic who needs me to explain every other word to him when we try to have a conversation so I absolutely should not have married and procreated with him. He was easy on the eyes then and now, though.

[Anonymous]

23-year-old first dater got lucky. Same with my killer-handsome cousin who married his very plain highschool sweetheart, still married after 5 kids all grown.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:23-year-old first dater got lucky. Same with my killer-handsome cousin who married his very plain highschool sweetheart, still married after 5 kids all grown.

Are all of these people happy because just being and staying married doesn't equal happy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Personally, I don't think marrying your first boyfriend is winning.

Why?

I know a girl who married her first boyfriend that she met at 23. He is smart rich good looking and has a great job. He is also madly in love with her. She couldn’t be happier.

That's a sample of one.

And why do you think it's universally a problem to marry your first BF?

No experience. You're putting all your eggs in one basket with no comparison to what else could be out there for you. See the DCUM thread on marrying young and then wanting out of the marriage in your 40's. But hey, some people would just rather be married than actually have a successful, fulfilling marriage.

What’s there to experience I’d get lucky with the first try?

She literally won the lottery of dating at first try. And he has all the qualities: smart kind successful nice family great sense of style high status etc

Why would she go back into the dating pool?

If you really think these are important attributes of a successful marriage, I don't know what to say to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women who are better looking, more confident/outgoing/secure in their attractiveness, around more eligible men, and more interested in dating will have an easier time. All things held equal, however, a lot is good fortune.

I think a lot also has to do with knowing the demographic you appeal to. I have had an easier time in love than my sister. I am taller, thinner, and more conventionally attractive. But she has a prettier face and is more outgoing and social. Crucially, however, we have similar tastes in men, but those men tend to go for women more like me. I think she adopted my tastes without considering if they would work for her. She would have done better, for instance, pursuing men who are more likely to value curves.

But a lot of it is still luck IMO.

There is a certain kind of girl/woman who has a lot of luck in terms of dating and marrying early.

From what I observe:

-conventionally attractive. Talk to medium height, thin, natural curves to be feminine but not too curvy
- styles like a “basic b*tch. Conservative and feminine clothing that accentuates body and conveys sexuality without being too in your face. Subtle makeup that highlights features,long straight hair, toned body
- conventional interests. Don’t be quirky. Goths, comic book nerds and geeky girls do not apply.
- be submissive and feminine, no loud mouth feminists or super smart nerdy girls who can out do the guys socially or professionally.
- know how to be subtly sexy, be coy and girly. Project the female energy so guys pick up on it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women who are better looking, more confident/outgoing/secure in their attractiveness, around more eligible men, and more interested in dating will have an easier time. All things held equal, however, a lot is good fortune.

I think a lot also has to do with knowing the demographic you appeal to. I have had an easier time in love than my sister. I am taller, thinner, and more conventionally attractive. But she has a prettier face and is more outgoing and social. Crucially, however, we have similar tastes in men, but those men tend to go for women more like me. I think she adopted my tastes without considering if they would work for her. She would have done better, for instance, pursuing men who are more likely to value curves.

But a lot of it is still luck IMO.

There is a certain kind of girl/woman who has a lot of luck in terms of dating and marrying early.

From what I observe:

-conventionally attractive. Talk to medium height, thin, natural curves to be feminine but not too curvy
- styles like a “basic b*tch. Conservative and feminine clothing that accentuates body and conveys sexuality without being too in your face. Subtle makeup that highlights features,long straight hair, toned body
- conventional interests. Don’t be quirky. Goths, comic book nerds and geeky girls do not apply.
- be submissive and feminine, no loud mouth feminists or super smart nerdy girls who can out do the guys socially or professionally.
- know how to be subtly sexy, be coy and girly. Project the female energy so guys pick up on it.

Argh, your pieces of advice are so outdated.

[Anonymous]

Because some women love themselves and their lives. So men around them want to be part of it. Those women don't find a husband since they are not looking for any. They are found!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women who are better looking, more confident/outgoing/secure in their attractiveness, around more eligible men, and more interested in dating will have an easier time. All things held equal, however, a lot is good fortune.

I think a lot also has to do with knowing the demographic you appeal to. I have had an easier time in love than my sister. I am taller, thinner, and more conventionally attractive. But she has a prettier face and is more outgoing and social. Crucially, however, we have similar tastes in men, but those men tend to go for women more like me. I think she adopted my tastes without considering if they would work for her. She would have done better, for instance, pursuing men who are more likely to value curves.

But a lot of it is still luck IMO.

There is a certain kind of girl/woman who has a lot of luck in terms of dating and marrying early.

From what I observe:

-conventionally attractive. Talk to medium height, thin, natural curves to be feminine but not too curvy
- styles like a “basic b*tch. Conservative and feminine clothing that accentuates body and conveys sexuality without being too in your face. Subtle makeup that highlights features,long straight hair, toned body
- conventional interests. Don’t be quirky. Goths, comic book nerds and geeky girls do not apply.
- be submissive and feminine, no loud mouth feminists or super smart nerdy girls who can out do the guys socially or professionally.
- know how to be subtly sexy, be coy and girly. Project the female energy so guys pick up on it.

Argh, your pieces of advice are so outdated.

I have to admit most of those are what guys like. The "submissive" part was pretty offensive though. I didn't agree with "geeky", many are cute and make good partners.

[Anonymous]

More than anything it is about looking for it and working towards it. So many women don't even start THINKING about getting married until they are in their late 20's, and it can take several years to find the right person.

Most of the women who get married earlier start thinking about it earlier.

And yes, there is luck involved.

Sure, being attractive helps and being a pleasant, kind person helps too, but as we all have seen, neither of these things are requirements to getting married early or late.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women who are better looking, more confident/outgoing/secure in their attractiveness, around more eligible men, and more interested in dating will have an easier time. All things held equal, however, a lot is good fortune.

I think a lot also has to do with knowing the demographic you appeal to. I have had an easier time in love than my sister. I am taller, thinner, and more conventionally attractive. But she has a prettier face and is more outgoing and social. Crucially, however, we have similar tastes in men, but those men tend to go for women more like me. I think she adopted my tastes without considering if they would work for her. She would have done better, for instance, pursuing men who are more likely to value curves.

But a lot of it is still luck IMO.

There is a certain kind of girl/woman who has a lot of luck in terms of dating and marrying early.

From what I observe:

-conventionally attractive. Talk to medium height, thin, natural curves to be feminine but not too curvy
- styles like a “basic b*tch. Conservative and feminine clothing that accentuates body and conveys sexuality without being too in your face. Subtle makeup that highlights features,long straight hair, toned body
- conventional interests. Don’t be quirky. Goths, comic book nerds and geeky girls do not apply.
- be submissive and feminine, no loud mouth feminists or super smart nerdy girls who can out do the guys socially or professionally.
- know how to be subtly sexy, be coy and girly. Project the female energy so guys pick up on it.

Argh, your pieces of advice are so outdated.

I have to admit most of those are what guys like. The "submissive" part was pretty offensive though. I didn't agree with "geeky", many are cute and make good partners.

I didn't view that PP as giving advice on what was "right" traits for women. But more or less conveying their observations of the sample size of women who got married early to their college sweetheart. I'd agree with most of what that PP stated. Women who marry young and marry well tend to not have "big" personalities, IMHO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women who are better looking, more confident/outgoing/secure in their attractiveness, around more eligible men, and more interested in dating will have an easier time. All things held equal, however, a lot is good fortune.

I think a lot also has to do with knowing the demographic you appeal to. I have had an easier time in love than my sister. I am taller, thinner, and more conventionally attractive. But she has a prettier face and is more outgoing and social. Crucially, however, we have similar tastes in men, but those men tend to go for women more like me. I think she adopted my tastes without considering if they would work for her. She would have done better, for instance, pursuing men who are more likely to value curves.

But a lot of it is still luck IMO.

There is a certain kind of girl/woman who has a lot of luck in terms of dating and marrying early.

From what I observe:

-conventionally attractive. Talk to medium height, thin, natural curves to be feminine but not too curvy
- styles like a “basic b*tch. Conservative and feminine clothing that accentuates body and conveys sexuality without being too in your face. Subtle makeup that highlights features,long straight hair, toned body
- conventional interests. Don’t be quirky. Goths, comic book nerds and geeky girls do not apply.
- be submissive and feminine, no loud mouth feminists or super smart nerdy girls who can out do the guys socially or professionally.
- know how to be subtly sexy, be coy and girly. Project the female energy so guys pick up on it.

Argh, your pieces of advice are so outdated.

Outdated to YOU, or outdated to men? I think this is pretty spot on. Sorry if you don't like it.

[Anonymous]

It’s a combo of look and personality as well as opportunity, timing, and luck.