I'm afraid that my daughter is not very smart and I'm worried about her future job prospects

[Anonymous]

Don’t send this message to your daughter. Consider finding an executive function coach. One of me friends did this for her daughter and while it was a lot of out of pocket to support it was very helpful. Also, still quite young to make this type assessment. Brains aren’t fully developed until age 25!

[Anonymous]

P.S. I was terrible at school but great at work.

[Anonymous]

Work on soft skills - communication, organization, responsibility, follow-through (not necessarily just related to school work), etc. Lots of "smArt" people don't have this. Also, a smile and pleasant personality can take you very far - whether that's in going for a job where you're slightly less qualified than the other person or if you're trying to land a spouse. Help her hone those skills. There are many successful C students in the workforce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she pretty? She can marry well and be a SAHM.

A lot of people won’t like this answer but it’s realistic. Women do this and it’s totally accepted and even applauded, depending on how wealthy you are.

OP here. Yes, she is and sad to say, this does seem to be her best hope. But obviously I can't hedge my bets on this.

NO. Now I think you're a troll.

OP here. Believe me I am not a troll, I'm just sad and at my witt's end and hoping someone can give me some advice.

Lots of people (including me) have given you the exact right advice which is to seek out a professional evaluation if you truly have concerns about how she is doing in school. But you keep ignoring that, probably because you are on here for your own jollies.

Like I have said before my big concern at the moment isn't school Yes, it's possible to get her accomodations that will help her get through. But that won't help her on the job. Her future employer won't care about whether she has a designated learning disability and be willing to extend accomodations. An employer only cares about how she performs. THIS is my big worry.

She will perform better in the future if she gets help and direction now with any possible learning differences. A diagnosis and help with techniques and strategies to do well can have long ranging effects on her future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she pretty? She can marry well and be a SAHM.

A lot of people won’t like this answer but it’s realistic. Women do this and it’s totally accepted and even applauded, depending on how wealthy you are.

OP here. Yes, she is and sad to say, this does seem to be her best hope. But obviously I can't hedge my bets on this.

Is she kind, outgoing, personable, creative, ... anything besides low processing and 110 IQ?

She is pretty, kind, very empathetic, creative (although not amazingly creative), but she is a bit too shy to be considered personable.

She could be a dentist technician, paralegal, admin assistant, therapist, sonographer

I think you are over reacting, have her do her myers briggs.

Yes, she will make less than your H. That is common in this area, kids making less than their parents. It's not the end of the world.

OP here. Actually, I think administrative assistant is the type of job that she would have a very difficult time with because the duties are not typically set in stone. Often your given something to do, and it needs to be done right away and correctly or else someone will get pissed off. Same with waiting tables. Although obviously it's not a job that requires an education, I think waiters need to be pretty sharp and quick thinking. She needs a job that is more rote. Something where she has a set job to do, and isn't required to think quick on her feet.

Has she considered working in social services. Not protective services, eligibility (Medicaid/Food Stamps)? Sure, it isn't the highest pay, but it isn't difficult and is pretty much just plugging information into a formula. The other plusses are insurance and retirement benefits.

I have actually thought about this, and talk to her a lot about how I think she would be well suited for going into a field where "she is helping people". But at the moment, it doesn't seem particularly interesting to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will flat out admit it. I don't think my daughter is particularly bright. She is 12 years old and has taken the WISC IV that showed her IQ as being a 110, but with an extremely low processing speed. I realize that her iq definitely puts her well in the average range, but she is so impacted by her low processing speed that for all practical purposes she doesn't come across as smart in many areas. Her teachers always have concerns about her. She has to study very hard to retain anything, and she's very easily distracted and only manages to get B's because we sit down with her to study every night. But this can't go on forever and I have a hard time seeing how she can get through college. However, what worries me even more than college is if she will be able to remain employed. To be completely honest, I just can't imagine her being very good at any job. This is extremely painful for me to admit to myself, much less post. But I am absolutely worried to death about her future, and am just trying to envision what kind of job a person like her could possibly do.

STOP IT.....JUST STOP IT.

Your daughter will be fine. At 12 years old, she has lots of maturing to do and decide what she wants in life. Just encourage her to do her best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will flat out admit it. I don't think my daughter is particularly bright. She is 12 years old and has taken the WISC IV that showed her IQ as being a 110, but with an extremely low processing speed. I realize that her iq definitely puts her well in the average range, but she is so impacted by her low processing speed that for all practical purposes she doesn't come across as smart in many areas. Her teachers always have concerns about her. She has to study very hard to retain anything, and she's very easily distracted and only manages to get B's because we sit down with her to study every night. But this can't go on forever and I have a hard time seeing how she can get through college. However, what worries me even more than college is if she will be able to remain employed. To be completely honest, I just can't imagine her being very good at any job. This is extremely painful for me to admit to myself, much less post. But I am absolutely worried to death about her future, and am just trying to envision what kind of job a person like her could possibly do.

STOP IT.....JUST STOP IT.

Your daughter will be fine. At 12 years old, she has lots of maturing to do and decide what she wants in life. Just encourage her to do her best.

You know, I want more than anything to believe this, but when being honest with myself I have to assume that the mothers of most adults who aren't capable of holding down a job that pays a livable wage, probably had concerns about their kids at age 12 as well. How am I supposed to know whether this is something that maturing will solve or if she is indeed just not that bright?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will flat out admit it. I don't think my daughter is particularly bright. She is 12 years old and has taken the WISC IV that showed her IQ as being a 110, but with an extremely low processing speed. I realize that her iq definitely puts her well in the average range, but she is so impacted by her low processing speed that for all practical purposes she doesn't come across as smart in many areas. Her teachers always have concerns about her. She has to study very hard to retain anything, and she's very easily distracted and only manages to get B's because we sit down with her to study every night. But this can't go on forever and I have a hard time seeing how she can get through college. However, what worries me even more than college is if she will be able to remain employed. To be completely honest, I just can't imagine her being very good at any job. This is extremely painful for me to admit to myself, much less post. But I am absolutely worried to death about her future, and am just trying to envision what kind of job a person like her could possibly do.

STOP IT.....JUST STOP IT.

Your daughter will be fine. At 12 years old, she has lots of maturing to do and decide what she wants in life. Just encourage her to do her best.

You know, I want more than anything to believe this, but when being honest with myself I have to assume that the mothers of most adults who aren't capable of holding down a job that pays a livable wage, probably had concerns about their kids at age 12 as well. How am I supposed to know whether this is something that maturing will solve or if she is indeed just not that bright?

Your B student can hold down a job. What kind of job? Who really knows at 12? You may want to consider letting her get a part-time job at 16 and see how she does with it. You might find that she can pull it together better than you expect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she pretty? She can marry well and be a SAHM.

A lot of people won’t like this answer but it’s realistic. Women do this and it’s totally accepted and even applauded, depending on how wealthy you are.

OP here. Yes, she is and sad to say, this does seem to be her best hope. But obviously I can't hedge my bets on this.

NO. Now I think you're a troll.

OP here. Believe me I am not a troll, I'm just sad and at my witt's end and hoping someone can give me some advice.

Lots of people (including me) have given you the exact right advice which is to seek out a professional evaluation if you truly have concerns about how she is doing in school. But you keep ignoring that, probably because you are on here for your own jollies.

Like I have said before my big concern at the moment isn't school Yes, it's possible to get her accomodations that will help her get through. But that won't help her on the job. Her future employer won't care about whether she has a designated learning disability and be willing to extend accomodations. An employer only cares about how she performs. THIS is my big worry.

She will perform better in the future if she gets help and direction now with any possible learning differences. A diagnosis and help with techniques and strategies to do well can have long ranging effects on her future.

+1 If you are this concerned, have a thorough evaluation done and work on helping her understand how her brain works and learning the techniques and strategies she needs to be successful. It's not about getting the accommodations to do well at school, it's learning what she needs to do to be successful.

FWIW, my DH has ADHD and a language-processing learning disorder (neither diagnosed until adulthood) and as a result is a very slow reader. He was on a vocational track in HS but got interested in electronics through that and had a good mentor who steered him into college (his local public U - one that DCUMs would sneer at - because he had to live at home). It was a LOT of work since he has to read things 2-3 times to absorb it, but got a BS in Electrical Engineering and has had a good career as a software developer. He says he's not particularly fast but he is careful and thoughtful which is more important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she pretty? She can marry well and be a SAHM.

A lot of people won’t like this answer but it’s realistic. Women do this and it’s totally accepted and even applauded, depending on how wealthy you are.

OP here. Yes, she is and sad to say, this does seem to be her best hope. But obviously I can't hedge my bets on this.

Is she kind, outgoing, personable, creative, ... anything besides low processing and 110 IQ?

She is pretty, kind, very empathetic, creative (although not amazingly creative), but she is a bit too shy to be considered personable.

Consider early childhood education. Preschool teacher. Does she like little kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will flat out admit it. I don't think my daughter is particularly bright. She is 12 years old and has taken the WISC IV that showed her IQ as being a 110, but with an extremely low processing speed. I realize that her iq definitely puts her well in the average range, but she is so impacted by her low processing speed that for all practical purposes she doesn't come across as smart in many areas. Her teachers always have concerns about her. She has to study very hard to retain anything, and she's very easily distracted and only manages to get B's because we sit down with her to study every night. But this can't go on forever and I have a hard time seeing how she can get through college. However, what worries me even more than college is if she will be able to remain employed. To be completely honest, I just can't imagine her being very good at any job. This is extremely painful for me to admit to myself, much less post. But I am absolutely worried to death about her future, and am just trying to envision what kind of job a person like her could possibly do.

STOP IT.....JUST STOP IT.

Your daughter will be fine. At 12 years old, she has lots of maturing to do and decide what she wants in life. Just encourage her to do her best.

You know, I want more than anything to believe this, but when being honest with myself I have to assume that the mothers of most adults who aren't capable of holding down a job that pays a livable wage, probably had concerns about their kids at age 12 as well. How am I supposed to know whether this is something that maturing will solve or if she is indeed just not that bright?

She’s 12....just let her blossom. Stop worrying. She will be successful at whatever she decides to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will flat out admit it. I don't think my daughter is particularly bright. She is 12 years old and has taken the WISC IV that showed her IQ as being a 110, but with an extremely low processing speed. I realize that her iq definitely puts her well in the average range, but she is so impacted by her low processing speed that for all practical purposes she doesn't come across as smart in many areas. Her teachers always have concerns about her. She has to study very hard to retain anything, and she's very easily distracted and only manages to get B's because we sit down with her to study every night. But this can't go on forever and I have a hard time seeing how she can get through college. However, what worries me even more than college is if she will be able to remain employed. To be completely honest, I just can't imagine her being very good at any job. This is extremely painful for me to admit to myself, much less post. But I am absolutely worried to death about her future, and am just trying to envision what kind of job a person like her could possibly do.

STOP IT.....JUST STOP IT.

Your daughter will be fine. At 12 years old, she has lots of maturing to do and decide what she wants in life. Just encourage her to do her best.

You know, I want more than anything to believe this, but when being honest with myself I have to assume that the mothers of most adults who aren't capable of holding down a job that pays a livable wage, probably had concerns about their kids at age 12 as well. How am I supposed to know whether this is something that maturing will solve or if she is indeed just not that bright?

She’s 12....just let her blossom. Stop worrying. She will be successful at whatever she decides to do.

But many people aren't successful at what they decide to do.

[Anonymous]

That was my kid. I thought he would live in our basement forever. ADHA and slow processing. Crap grades in high school though pulled out an average ACT score. Went to mediocre college where something clicked. It was the perfect environment for him at the right time. He is now in medical school.

She is 12. Relax.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will flat out admit it. I don't think my daughter is particularly bright. She is 12 years old and has taken the WISC IV that showed her IQ as being a 110, but with an extremely low processing speed. I realize that her iq definitely puts her well in the average range, but she is so impacted by her low processing speed that for all practical purposes she doesn't come across as smart in many areas. Her teachers always have concerns about her. She has to study very hard to retain anything, and she's very easily distracted and only manages to get B's because we sit down with her to study every night. But this can't go on forever and I have a hard time seeing how she can get through college. However, what worries me even more than college is if she will be able to remain employed. To be completely honest, I just can't imagine her being very good at any job. This is extremely painful for me to admit to myself, much less post. But I am absolutely worried to death about her future, and am just trying to envision what kind of job a person like her could possibly do.

STOP IT.....JUST STOP IT.

Your daughter will be fine. At 12 years old, she has lots of maturing to do and decide what she wants in life. Just encourage her to do her best.

You know, I want more than anything to believe this, but when being honest with myself I have to assume that the mothers of most adults who aren't capable of holding down a job that pays a livable wage, probably had concerns about their kids at age 12 as well. How am I supposed to know whether this is something that maturing will solve or if she is indeed just not that bright?

Nothing you wrote here indicates she will have trouble holding down a job?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she pretty? She can marry well and be a SAHM.

A lot of people won’t like this answer but it’s realistic. Women do this and it’s totally accepted and even applauded, depending on how wealthy you are.

OP here. Yes, she is and sad to say, this does seem to be her best hope. But obviously I can't hedge my bets on this.

Is she kind, outgoing, personable, creative, ... anything besides low processing and 110 IQ?

She is pretty, kind, very empathetic, creative (although not amazingly creative), but she is a bit too shy to be considered personable.

Consider early childhood education. Preschool teacher. Does she like little kids?

This is a job I think she can do but she doesn't seem interested. Plus, she can't support herself on a preschool teacher's salary. I just want her to be able to be capable of holding down a job where she can make a livable wage even if it's not much. To give some perspective, I would consider a public school teacher or social worker's wage to be fine, but pre-school teachers and daycare workers barely make above minimum wage and I want her to be able to make a somewhat reasonable living.