I'm afraid that my daughter is not very smart and I'm worried about her future job prospects

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most people aren't that smart. She'll be fine.

yes. college isn't that hard and she'll find a white collar job she can do well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - How smart are you and your spouse? I am guessing smarter than average and perhaps you had an easy time in school. In this area there are a lot of smart, high achieving people and it sometimes seems as if all the kids are super smart.

I have worked in IT consulting and dealt with clients who are the “back office” of many companies - HR, Accounting, Facilities, etc. I have seen many industries and been at companies outside of DC in several regions. I can tell you first hand that there are plenty of average people with average or less than average processing speed working productively in mediocre office jobs making $50-90k.

Is your daughter going to be a Big Law partner or a lobbyist or sales person making $$$$$, probably not. Will she be able to find a job where people like her and she has a career and contributes to her family and society - definitely. Most kids don’t go to Tier 1 or Ivy schools. Most adults don’t make over $100k / yr. Also most adults are doing ok and have meaningful lives.

Sales? It’s all about being personable, charming, outgoing, and charismatic. Helps a lot if you’re attractive.

I know lots of sales people who make big bucks (including some who make high six figures) who are not intellectual types and probably weren’t the top of their class.

[Anonymous]

Have you considered any trades as opposed to college? I have a son who is not very smart (IQ more than 30 points less than your daughter's) and he does just fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most people aren't that smart. She'll be fine.

Most people aren't impacted enough where even their own mothers admit that they're not that smart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she pretty? She can marry well and be a SAHM.

A lot of people won’t like this answer but it’s realistic. Women do this and it’s totally accepted and even applauded, depending on how wealthy you are.

OP here. Yes, she is and sad to say, this does seem to be her best hope. But obviously I can't hedge my bets on this.

Is she kind, outgoing, personable, creative, ... anything besides low processing and 110 IQ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How about early childhood education?

Daycare worker, nanny, preschool teacher, etc.

Mostly you need to be warm, nurturing, cuddly, and super tolerant and patient.

Fwiw, most of the girls I know who went this route ended up marrying high income earners and “retired” in their late twenties/early thirties to become SAHMs. So there’s that too.

Yes, I've certainly considered these, but I'm hoping to find something that pays a more livable wage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she pretty? She can marry well and be a SAHM.

A lot of people won’t like this answer but it’s realistic. Women do this and it’s totally accepted and even applauded, depending on how wealthy you are.

OP here. Yes, she is and sad to say, this does seem to be her best hope. But obviously I can't hedge my bets on this.

Are you kidding? Just train her to be pleasant and agreeable - in other words, pretty much the opposite of every other American girl - and the potential husbands will be beating the door down to get at her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she pretty? She can marry well and be a SAHM.

A lot of people won’t like this answer but it’s realistic. Women do this and it’s totally accepted and even applauded, depending on how wealthy you are.

OP here. Yes, she is and sad to say, this does seem to be her best hope. But obviously I can't hedge my bets on this.

NO. Now I think you're a troll.

[Anonymous]

OP, the low processing speed can also impact the WISC. My son has an overall wisc of 119, but with very low processing speed and large gaps in subtests (from 98% to 37%). He is also diagnosed with non verbal learning disorder and adhd.

It might be worth getting her evaluated for a specific learning disability. It wont change her profile, but it may help her and you understand her strengths and address her weaknesses with specific strategies.

I too worry about my son a lot (I come from a family of phds and academics so excelling at school has been a given). But my worries for him revolve around his social skills and overall happiness and his ability to get along with others and have good self esteem. A lot of successful people are not brilliant and a lot of brilliant people are not successful. (In many ways, I'm happier and more successful than my brother, who has an iq of 150 and finished a phd in computational physics at 25).

[Anonymous]

I'm a bright slow processor. I always struggled through high school. College was better for me, and then, after a rocky start, grad school was even better than college. I am successful working a professional job-by working to my strengths and being aware of my weaknesses (I still struggle to answer simple direct questions). I would suggest you start by figuring out what your daughter's strengths are and helping her find opportunities to build on them. She won't need to be good at everything or to be fast to find a niche.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - How smart are you and your spouse? I am guessing smarter than average and perhaps you had an easy time in school. In this area there are a lot of smart, high achieving people and it sometimes seems as if all the kids are super smart.

I have worked in IT consulting and dealt with clients who are the “back office” of many companies - HR, Accounting, Facilities, etc. I have seen many industries and been at companies outside of DC in several regions. I can tell you first hand that there are plenty of average people with average or less than average processing speed working productively in mediocre office jobs making $50-90k.

Is your daughter going to be a Big Law partner or a lobbyist or sales person making $$$$$, probably not. Will she be able to find a job where people like her and she has a career and contributes to her family and society - definitely. Most kids don’t go to Tier 1 or Ivy schools. Most adults don’t make over $100k / yr. Also most adults are doing ok and have meaningful lives.

Sales? It’s all about being personable, charming, outgoing, and charismatic. Helps a lot if you’re attractive.

I know lots of sales people who make big bucks (including some who make high six figures) who are not intellectual types and probably weren’t the top of their class.

Yes, being verbal and charming can be a big asset in a career.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How about early childhood education?

Daycare worker, nanny, preschool teacher, etc.

Mostly you need to be warm, nurturing, cuddly, and super tolerant and patient.

Fwiw, most of the girls I know who went this route ended up marrying high income earners and “retired” in their late twenties/early thirties to become SAHMs. So there’s that too.

Yes, I've certainly considered these, but I'm hoping to find something that pays a more livable wage.

Oh, the sadness when DCUM careerist striver attitudes collide with reality! "Yale or Jail" - but oh no, my kid is just not Yale material...

[Anonymous]

Our daughter was like this though I can’t recall her IQ. Once her slow processing issue was identified she was able to get extra time to take tests. She was also put on Ritalin and while we didn’t like the idea it did help her right through college. She has been off the meds for 7-10 years and she has been very successful in her career. She is very good with numbers and detail and that really helped her get her career launched and now she is in sales for a well known social media company.

When my DH saw her testing results he realized that he had had the exact same word processing problem but it was never diagnosed. He always struggled in school despite working hard. Yet he has been incredibly successful in business. He still can’t absorb lengthy written documents but his skills analyzing data and problem solving are remarkable. He is a voracious reader but he will never remember all of the detail. When my daughter realized her dad had had the same problem that relaxed her a bit given how successful he has been.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - How smart are you and your spouse? I am guessing smarter than average and perhaps you had an easy time in school. In this area there are a lot of smart, high achieving people and it sometimes seems as if all the kids are super smart.

I have worked in IT consulting and dealt with clients who are the “back office” of many companies - HR, Accounting, Facilities, etc. I have seen many industries and been at companies outside of DC in several regions. I can tell you first hand that there are plenty of average people with average or less than average processing speed working productively in mediocre office jobs making $50-90k.

Is your daughter going to be a Big Law partner or a lobbyist or sales person making $$$$$, probably not. Will she be able to find a job where people like her and she has a career and contributes to her family and society - definitely. Most kids don’t go to Tier 1 or Ivy schools. Most adults don’t make over $100k / yr. Also most adults are doing ok and have meaningful lives.

Sales? It’s all about being personable, charming, outgoing, and charismatic. Helps a lot if you’re attractive.

I know lots of sales people who make big bucks (including some who make high six figures) who are not intellectual types and probably weren’t the top of their class.

Yes, being verbal and charming can be a big asset in a career.

pp again. Adding that I mentor a young woman who has issues with reading and writing and she's not a verbal person. Such a good kid who is so responsible and reliable but how is anyone ever going to see that if she won't speak up!? (sorry, this has been on my mind lately)

[Anonymous]

Some of the most successful people I know aren’t the brightest but they have great people skills. I’d rather my kids have top social skills than top intelligence.