I'm afraid that my daughter is not very smart and I'm worried about her future job prospects

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you have a very limited view of the world if this is your fear. There are lots of jobs and lots of ways to live a happy life that don't involve a top tier 4 year college.

If her teachers are always worried about her, take her for a full evaluation with a private psychologist. She may ADHD or a learning disability and interventions for those can be really helpful. Also, you need some support and education yourself. It will be unbelievable harmful to your daughter if she ever understands that you sit around thinking about her in this way. "a person like her." Seriously, get a grip.

This really isn't so much about grades or a top tier college. Or even necessarily college at all. My absolute biggest fear is that she will not be able to hold down a job. It's difficult to explain, but it's not just that she struggles in school. She is impacted in ways that make it really hard for me to imagine her being a good employee. I can see her being able to hold down a job such as a daycare worker, but that is not a livable income. She doesn't need to make a lot, but I would like to hope that she can hold down a job where she is at least capable of supporting herself.

[Anonymous]

Twelve is a good time to start to look for her strengths and look for ways to optimize her career path. Figure out what she is good at and see if you can find a way to guide her towards a career that makes the most of those strengths. It may not necessarily be college or a professional type job. In fact, odds are it won't be. One of the problems millennials faced is that so many of them had parents that pushed them into college that we ended up with many more college grads than there were professional level jobs for them.

But there are many jobs that require vocational or technical skills that do not require a fast thinker or an above average intelligence where she could be very successful. Cooking, HVAC, electrical work, carpentry, plumbing, clerical skills, mechanics, nursing, and dental hygienist are just a few of the careers that don't require a college degree (at least not for all jobs in these careers) and that people can be very successful at. Additionally, someone can go into retail and become a manager or supervisor and still make a decent living.

The important thing is to steer her towards the things that she does well and then for her to go towards a career that takes advantage of the skills that she does have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why I hate the DC area so so much. She'll be fine.

OP here. Believe me, I find the striving DC mentality nauseating as well. This goes beyond that. I'm not concerned because my daughter is not a superstar. I'm concerned that she doesn't have what it takes to be a functioning adult. This is a concern that a parent in WV coal country would have as well.

[Anonymous]

Folks: OP is a troll. With that being said, whoever said a person with average intelligence can't be in big aw obviously isn't in big law or has NPD and doesn't really that he/she is surrounded by mediocre people with average IQs. My MIL is completely clueless and had a 30 year career in big law. In fact, I think you have to be stupid to follow that career path.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She might surprise you, OP.

I'm praying she does.

[Anonymous]

Op- seriously, get these thoughts out of your head. This could be very detrimental to your DD. She has years and years of learning, changing, growing. You have no idea what she will be like as an adult. Jesus, don’t label her as a failure at 12. Give her the benefit of the doubt. Give her an excellent education. Help her find intellectually stimulating hobbies. Also, keep in mind that emotional intelligence is probably more important in the workplace than IQ. Yes, get her tested for ADHD if you’re concerned. But above all, stay positive about your wonderful daughter. You need to be her number one fan!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - How smart are you and your spouse? I am guessing smarter than average and perhaps you had an easy time in school. In this area there are a lot of smart, high achieving people and it sometimes seems as if all the kids are super smart.

I have worked in IT consulting and dealt with clients who are the “back office” of many companies - HR, Accounting, Facilities, etc. I have seen many industries and been at companies outside of DC in several regions. I can tell you first hand that there are plenty of average people with average or less than average processing speed working productively in mediocre office jobs making $50-90k.

Is your daughter going to be a Big Law partner or a lobbyist or sales person making $$$$$, probably not. Will she be able to find a job where people like her and she has a career and contributes to her family and society - definitely. Most kids don’t go to Tier 1 or Ivy schools. Most adults don’t make over $100k / yr. Also most adults are doing ok and have meaningful lives.

Sales? It’s all about being personable, charming, outgoing, and charismatic. Helps a lot if you’re attractive.

I know lots of sales people who make big bucks (including some who make high six figures) who are not intellectual types and probably weren’t the top of their class.

Sales would be great, but she is rather shy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you considered any trades as opposed to college? I have a son who is not very smart (IQ more than 30 points less than your daughter's) and he does just fine.

What trade is he in?

[Anonymous]

Your DD is 12. Of course you can't picture her as a functioning adult. If we could go out into the world at 12, we would. You're either a troll or you should get checked for anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Find a job or field for her that’s rote memory once she passes her exams. My sister was HORRIBLE at school and getting her BA in nursing was hell but now she’s flourishing because much of her job (in the psych wing) is physical in nature rather than mental or dealing with online deliverables.

[Anonymous]

IQ ranges I've seen say this:
ewis Terman (1916) developed the original notion of IQ and proposed this scale for classifying IQ scores:
Over 140 - Genius or near genius.
120 - 140 - Very superior intelligence.
110 - 119 - Superior intelligence.
90 - 109 - Normal or average intelligence.
80 - 89 - Dullness.
70 - 79 - Borderline deficiency.

so how does your DD's 110 make her solidly average? She's at the high range of average at least.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you considered any trades as opposed to college? I have a son who is not very smart (IQ more than 30 points less than your daughter's) and he does just fine.

What trade is he in?

Chances are he's a plumber and earns $110K/year, including overtime.

meanwhile some millennial grad paid $300 grand for a liberal arts degree and is a librarian.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she pretty? She can marry well and be a SAHM.

A lot of people won’t like this answer but it’s realistic. Women do this and it’s totally accepted and even applauded, depending on how wealthy you are.

OP here. Yes, she is and sad to say, this does seem to be her best hope. But obviously I can't hedge my bets on this.

Is she kind, outgoing, personable, creative, ... anything besides low processing and 110 IQ?

She is pretty, kind, very empathetic, creative (although not amazingly creative), but she is a bit too shy to be considered personable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she pretty? She can marry well and be a SAHM.

A lot of people won’t like this answer but it’s realistic. Women do this and it’s totally accepted and even applauded, depending on how wealthy you are.

OP here. Yes, she is and sad to say, this does seem to be her best hope. But obviously I can't hedge my bets on this.

Is she kind, outgoing, personable, creative, ... anything besides low processing and 110 IQ?

This. What is her Emotional IQ -- ability to make and keep friends, empathize with others? This is a better predictor of success than IQ.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:IQ ranges I've seen say this:
ewis Terman (1916) developed the original notion of IQ and proposed this scale for classifying IQ scores:
Over 140 - Genius or near genius.
120 - 140 - Very superior intelligence.
110 - 119 - Superior intelligence.
90 - 109 - Normal or average intelligence.
80 - 89 - Dullness.
70 - 79 - Borderline deficiency.

so how does your DD's 110 make her solidly average? She's at the high range of average at least.

Move to Lake Woebegon. Every kid there is above average.