I'm afraid that my daughter is not very smart and I'm worried about her future job prospects

[Anonymous]

I will flat out admit it. I don't think my daughter is particularly bright. She is 12 years old and has taken the WISC IV that showed her IQ as being a 110, but with an extremely low processing speed. I realize that her iq definitely puts her well in the average range, but she is so impacted by her low processing speed that for all practical purposes she doesn't come across as smart in many areas. Her teachers always have concerns about her. She has to study very hard to retain anything, and she's very easily distracted and only manages to get B's because we sit down with her to study every night. But this can't go on forever and I have a hard time seeing how she can get through college. However, what worries me even more than college is if she will be able to remain employed. To be completely honest, I just can't imagine her being very good at any job. This is extremely painful for me to admit to myself, much less post. But I am absolutely worried to death about her future, and am just trying to envision what kind of job a person like her could possibly do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will flat out admit it. I don't think my daughter is particularly bright. She is 12 years old and has taken the WISC IV that showed her IQ as being a 110, but with an extremely low processing speed. I realize that her iq definitely puts her well in the average range, but she is so impacted by her low processing speed that for all practical purposes she doesn't come across as smart in many areas. Her teachers always have concerns about her. She has to study very hard to retain anything, and she's very easily distracted and only manages to get B's because we sit down with her to study every night. But this can't go on forever and I have a hard time seeing how she can get through college. However, what worries me even more than college is if she will be able to remain employed. To be completely honest, I just can't imagine her being very good at any job. This is extremely painful for me to admit to myself, much less post. But I am absolutely worried to death about her future, and am just trying to envision what kind of job a person like her could possibly do.

Is it possible it's ADHD? I know that people over-diagnose this, but low processing speed is one of the signs, along with some of your descriptions of her.

[Anonymous]

Is she pretty? She can marry well and be a SAHM.

A lot of people won’t like this answer but it’s realistic. Women do this and it’s totally accepted and even applauded, depending on how wealthy you are.

[Anonymous]

There are lots of jobs out there for people who aren't that smart. In fact, to look around my office there are a ton of idiots out there making decent money.

My DD is not one of the brightest, and I have recently been grappling with my expectations. I think she'll be very successful in the workforce but I don't see an elite college in her future.

[Anonymous]

Most people aren't that smart. She'll be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will flat out admit it. I don't think my daughter is particularly bright. She is 12 years old and has taken the WISC IV that showed her IQ as being a 110, but with an extremely low processing speed. I realize that her iq definitely puts her well in the average range, but she is so impacted by her low processing speed that for all practical purposes she doesn't come across as smart in many areas. Her teachers always have concerns about her. She has to study very hard to retain anything, and she's very easily distracted and only manages to get B's because we sit down with her to study every night. But this can't go on forever and I have a hard time seeing how she can get through college. However, what worries me even more than college is if she will be able to remain employed. To be completely honest, I just can't imagine her being very good at any job. This is extremely painful for me to admit to myself, much less post. But I am absolutely worried to death about her future, and am just trying to envision what kind of job a person like her could possibly do.

OP, your daughter is TWELVE. If she was 16, I could see your concern, but she's 12. She needs to learn study skills and focus skills. What are her teachers' concerns?

All that aside, I know a lot of perfectly functional adults who are easily distracted and retain nothing. There are jobs for all kinds of people.

[Anonymous]

How about early childhood education?

Daycare worker, nanny, preschool teacher, etc.

Mostly you need to be warm, nurturing, cuddly, and super tolerant and patient.

Fwiw, most of the girls I know who went this route ended up marrying high income earners and “retired” in their late twenties/early thirties to become SAHMs. So there’s that too.

[Anonymous]

OP, you have a very limited view of the world if this is your fear. There are lots of jobs and lots of ways to live a happy life that don't involve a top tier 4 year college.

If her teachers are always worried about her, take her for a full evaluation with a private psychologist. She may ADHD or a learning disability and interventions for those can be really helpful. Also, you need some support and education yourself. It will be unbelievable harmful to your daughter if she ever understands that you sit around thinking about her in this way. "a person like her." Seriously, get a grip.

[Anonymous]

This is why I hate the DC area so so much. She'll be fine.

[Anonymous]

OP - How smart are you and your spouse? I am guessing smarter than average and perhaps you had an easy time in school. In this area there are a lot of smart, high achieving people and it sometimes seems as if all the kids are super smart.

I have worked in IT consulting and dealt with clients who are the “back office” of many companies - HR, Accounting, Facilities, etc. I have seen many industries and been at companies outside of DC in several regions. I can tell you first hand that there are plenty of average people with average or less than average processing speed working productively in mediocre office jobs making $50-90k.

Is your daughter going to be a Big Law partner or a lobbyist or sales person making $$$$$, probably not. Will she be able to find a job where people like her and she has a career and contributes to her family and society - definitely. Most kids don’t go to Tier 1 or Ivy schools. Most adults don’t make over $100k / yr. Also most adults are doing ok and have meaningful lives.

[Anonymous]

Just help her be as attractive as possible and she will be fine in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is she pretty? She can marry well and be a SAHM.

A lot of people won’t like this answer but it’s realistic. Women do this and it’s totally accepted and even applauded, depending on how wealthy you are.

Hell I’ll be honest here. I was always top of my class but grew up in poverty and didn’t want a career. I got everything I ever wanted (upper middle class, nice husband, stay at home with my handful of kids) just by being attractive and getting married. I’m not saying this is for everyone but I am very happy with my life. You have to work with what you’ve got to get what you want.

[Anonymous]

She might surprise you, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is she pretty? She can marry well and be a SAHM.

A lot of people won’t like this answer but it’s realistic. Women do this and it’s totally accepted and even applauded, depending on how wealthy you are.

OP here. Yes, she is and sad to say, this does seem to be her best hope. But obviously I can't hedge my bets on this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are lots of jobs out there for people who aren't that smart. In fact, to look around my office there are a ton of idiots out there making decent money.

My DD is not one of the brightest, and I have recently been grappling with my expectations. I think she'll be very successful in the workforce but I don't see an elite college in her future.

Do you have any examples? I really want to try to start steering her into these types of careers.