Friend who wanted to do childcare bailed

[Anonymous]

OP, as I see it- you paid for what you got.

So while I 100% agree with your annoyance, you also don’t have childcare. You had an unpaid play date. This doesn’t matter that she was looking for other kids, as they probably would have been paid places.

The thing about a favour is your u can bail, as your friend has done.

I know you’re goin going to say she was super excited! To watch your kid for free. As you seem reasonable, you understand this couldn’t be the case. I trust you wouldn’t let your boss pay you with Starbucks and sushi.

Oh but wait..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In what reality does expect someone else to take care of their child for FREE? I wouldn't even take care of my friend's dog without some kind of contribution. OP, you're nuts.

I could see this happening with friends. I would feel very uncomfortable accepting money for taking care of my friends dog. You're a bit off pp.

If its a job that people get paid for, you should extend the same courtesy to your friends in my opinion. Once in a while - like twice a year - sure watch the dog. But if you're on vacation every month or need a weekly sitter while you're at work, stop being a moocher and pay people what they're worth.

OP's friend has a mouth, right? Why is she not capable of using her words to voice this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In what reality does expect someone else to take care of their child for FREE? I wouldn't even take care of my friend's dog without some kind of contribution. OP, you're nuts.

I could see this happening with friends. I would feel very uncomfortable accepting money for taking care of my friends dog. You're a bit off pp.

If its a job that people get paid for, you should extend the same courtesy to your friends in my opinion. Once in a while - like twice a year - sure watch the dog. But if you're on vacation every month or need a weekly sitter while you're at work, stop being a moocher and pay people what they're worth.

OP's friend has a mouth, right? Why is she not capable of using her words to voice this?

Beauty of the modern age - you can't be passive aggressive with technology and not even have to speak to someone face-to-face to get the point across.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, as I see it- you paid for what you got.

So while I 100% agree with your annoyance, you also don’t have childcare. You had an unpaid play date. This doesn’t matter that she was looking for other kids, as they probably would have been paid places.

The thing about a favour is your u can bail, as your friend has done.

I know you’re goin going to say she was super excited! To watch your kid for free. As you seem reasonable, you understand this couldn’t be the case. I trust you wouldn’t let your boss pay you with Starbucks and sushi.

Oh but wait..

This was a really shitty thing for her friend to do. I do not agree with this. We're all adults and she should have treated OP with respect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, as I see it- you paid for what you got.

So while I 100% agree with your annoyance, you also don’t have childcare. You had an unpaid play date. This doesn’t matter that she was looking for other kids, as they probably would have been paid places.

The thing about a favour is your u can bail, as your friend has done.

I know you’re goin going to say she was super excited! To watch your kid for free. As you seem reasonable, you understand this couldn’t be the case. I trust you wouldn’t let your boss pay you with Starbucks and sushi.

Oh but wait..

This was a really shitty thing for her friend to do. I do not agree with this. We're all adults and she should have treated OP with respect.

Like the respect OP showed by asking her friend to work for free for 20 hours a week?

That's insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, as I see it- you paid for what you got.

So while I 100% agree with your annoyance, you also don’t have childcare. You had an unpaid play date. This doesn’t matter that she was looking for other kids, as they probably would have been paid places.

The thing about a favour is your u can bail, as your friend has done.

I know you’re goin going to say she was super excited! To watch your kid for free. As you seem reasonable, you understand this couldn’t be the case. I trust you wouldn’t let your boss pay you with Starbucks and sushi.

Oh but wait..

This was a really shitty thing for her friend to do. I do not agree with this. We're all adults and she should have treated OP with respect.

Like the respect OP showed by asking her friend to work for free for 20 hours a week?

That's insane.

OP wanted to pay a normal in home daycare rate. It sounds like OP helped her friend out a lot with rides as she didn't have a car. Again her friend has a mouth and she could have voiced that. Instead she insisted of not accepting payment. The whole thing is a mess but I don't think OP is completely at fault.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, as I see it- you paid for what you got.

So while I 100% agree with your annoyance, you also don’t have childcare. You had an unpaid play date. This doesn’t matter that she was looking for other kids, as they probably would have been paid places.

The thing about a favour is your u can bail, as your friend has done.

I know you’re goin going to say she was super excited! To watch your kid for free. As you seem reasonable, you understand this couldn’t be the case. I trust you wouldn’t let your boss pay you with Starbucks and sushi.

Oh but wait..

This was a really shitty thing for her friend to do. I do not agree with this. We're all adults and she should have treated OP with respect.

Like the respect OP showed by asking her friend to work for free for 20 hours a week?

That's insane.

Her friend agreed to do it though and then left her in a bad place. Most friends would give some sort of notice or at least they would have given her the option to expose her child to the sick child.

[Anonymous]

OP don't dwell on this. Your friend is not professional. This in home daycare would have never worked out anyway. How could you leave your child with someone who doesn't drive? What are you thinking?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP don't dwell on this. Your friend is not professional. This in home daycare would have never worked out anyway. How could you leave your child with someone who doesn't drive? What are you thinking?

This. OP this would have ended badly.

[Anonymous]

I feel ya!
I have a neighbor who is like that. First she would insist (I kid you not) on watching my kid- then it is accidentally revealed that he is to be dragged around to her kids’ lessons or one of her kids is sick and contagious or smth.
I just thank her profusely and say we got it covered.

[Anonymous]

That should have been a red flag in the beginning that she was willing to watch your son gratis.

Taking on an add’l child is a ton of mental, emotional + physical energy.
Plus not having to pay for childcare is a huge perk.
Huge.

I could never accept free childcare from ANYone.
Because as the saying goes.....
There really is no such thing as a “free” lunch.

It is on her however to communicate w/you that she will no longer be able to watch your child.

1.) Just stop contacting her altogether.
She isn’t even worthy of a true friend in the sense of the word.

2.) Contact a Nanny/Babysitting agency for emergency back-up childcare.
Consider the co$t the money you saved when she babysat for free.

3.) Search for a mature, reliable & ethical Nanny, SAHM or reputable daycare or childcare centre in your neighborhood.

Wishing you the best.....

[Anonymous]

Eh, maybe she wanted another kid for her kid to play with. I would rather have 2 kids than one. If they are similar ages they can play together. She tried it and didn't like it. She should have spoken up immediately. I still don't get what made you keep.checking in with her. I would have just said see you on Friday at pick up earlier in the week and left it at that. The additional outreach isn't normal a d shows you knew something was wrong. Is your child misbehave? I would likely cut back the friendship and now you know better for later. I had a friend who stayed home and i seriously debated letting her keep my kids to earn money. After tho king a out it I determined she just wouldn't be reliable enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Eh, maybe she wanted another kid for her kid to play with. I would rather have 2 kids than one. If they are similar ages they can play together. She tried it and didn't like it. She should have spoken up immediately. I still don't get what made you keep.checking in with her. I would have just said see you on Friday at pick up earlier in the week and left it at that. The additional outreach isn't normal a d shows you knew something was wrong. Is your child misbehave? I would likely cut back the friendship and now you know better for later. I had a friend who stayed home and i seriously debated letting her keep my kids to earn money. After tho king a out it I determined she just wouldn't be reliable enough.

Op. I guess I was worried about her flaking on me and I felt guilty about not paying her. I really wanted to pay her but I didn't know where to start. I thought about paying her a nanny rate but it would have been really expensive. My son would have been watching lots of TV I suspect and they do not have a playground in her community. She does freak out prematurely about her daughter getting sick. I should have seen this coming. She has also been trying to start an in home daycare but can't find clients. She told me that she meets families but they don't call her back. This has been a good learning experience for me. I am not comfortable with home daycare anymore. I think in my area in home daycares are not professional. I have met a lot of moms who are not shy about leaving the TV on all day and they want to bring my child on errands. Maybe it's a regional thing. I live in the south.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That should have been a red flag in the beginning that she was willing to watch your son gratis.

Taking on an add’l child is a ton of mental, emotional + physical energy.
Plus not having to pay for childcare is a huge perk.
Huge.

I could never accept free childcare from ANYone.
Because as the saying goes.....
There really is no such thing as a “free” lunch.

It is on her however to communicate w/you that she will no longer be able to watch your child.

1.) Just stop contacting her altogether.
She isn’t even worthy of a true friend in the sense of the word.

2.) Contact a Nanny/Babysitting agency for emergency back-up childcare.
Consider the co$t the money you saved when she babysat for free.

3.) Search for a mature, reliable & ethical Nanny, SAHM or reputable daycare or childcare centre in your neighborhood.

Wishing you the best.....

Op here. We found a great daycare yesterday. It's not hard to find daycares in my area. I responded to my friend and told her she's leaving me in a bad spot. One more thing- I have given this lady tons of ride's and she makes me wait 20 minutes or more for her in the parking lot because I suspect she's still getting ready. I can understand this happening occasionally but it has happened every time I have given her a ride. She's a lot younger than me and I think she's just kind of flakey in general. Our husbands are friends and I introduced my husband to this family. It's very likely that our children will go to the same preschool/ elementary school.

[Anonymous]

You get what you pay for. This applies to everything in life.