Friend who wanted to do childcare bailed

[Anonymous]

Initially, I was going to say give your friend the benefit of the doubt. How many texts did you send this woman? She likely concluded it wasn't worth it. Her excuse is shady. I would have just showed up Friday and called it a day. I often go a day or 2 without responding to texts. I'm a busy parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Initially, I was going to say give your friend the benefit of the doubt. How many texts did you send this woman? She likely concluded it wasn't worth it. Her excuse is shady. I would have just showed up Friday and called it a day. I often go a day or 2 without responding to texts. I'm a busy parent.

Op I sent a message yesterday in the evening and this afternoon I sent another Facebook message. I am hurt because she left me in a bad spot. I have given her rides to the grocery store because she doesn’t drive. The excuse does sound made up. She also didn’t give me a clear answer about next week. Why is it so hard to tell the truth? She could have told me things weren’t working out etc She was going on and on about how well behaved my son was with her. I am happy I figured things out in the beginning. I think daycare is my best option. At least I know when daycares are not available.

[Anonymous]

Was it the friend from this post?

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/90/758203.page

[Anonymous]

Her excuse is shady but at least you know how she is OP. Move on and look for more reliable childcare. I think daycare would be ideal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Initially, I was going to say give your friend the benefit of the doubt. How many texts did you send this woman? She likely concluded it wasn't worth it. Her excuse is shady. I would have just showed up Friday and called it a day. I often go a day or 2 without responding to texts. I'm a busy parent.

Op I sent a message yesterday in the evening and this afternoon I sent another Facebook message. I am hurt because she left me in a bad spot. I have given her rides to the grocery store because she doesn’t drive. The excuse does sound made up. She also didn’t give me a clear answer about next week. Why is it so hard to tell the truth? She could have told me things weren’t working out etc She was going on and on about how well behaved my son was with her. I am happy I figured things out in the beginning. I think daycare is my best option. At least I know when daycares are not available.

How hard is it to respond to a text? People are so rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Initially, I was going to say give your friend the benefit of the doubt. How many texts did you send this woman? She likely concluded it wasn't worth it. Her excuse is shady. I would have just showed up Friday and called it a day. I often go a day or 2 without responding to texts. I'm a busy parent.

Op I sent a message yesterday in the evening and this afternoon I sent another Facebook message. I am hurt because she left me in a bad spot. I have given her rides to the grocery store because she doesn’t drive. The excuse does sound made up. She also didn’t give me a clear answer about next week. Why is it so hard to tell the truth? She could have told me things weren’t working out etc She was going on and on about how well behaved my son was with her. I am happy I figured things out in the beginning. I think daycare is my best option. At least I know when daycares are not available.

Move on. I would be upset too but don’t dwell on this. You need to focus on finding childcare and your new job. Keep this friend at a distance.

[Anonymous]

I would never rely on unpaid and unprofessional childcare, just too flaky. Trained, experienced, and motivated nanny, or barring that, a good daycare or preschool.

I can't fathom why friend thought it would be 'fun' to add a second toddler to her mix while she was pregnant, or why you thought she would actually be truly okay with doing this unpaid, but at least you both figured shit out quick.

[Anonymous]

She should have at least finished the week. She’s not a good friend OP.

[Anonymous]

Switch to daycare ASAP.

[Anonymous]

We had such a post recently from the other side? Did we not? I mean not paying a friend for something like this, what a user is OP. You always communicate through facebook? Maybe she had an emergency in her family?

[Anonymous]

Why don’t you just call her on her cell or home phone.

Suzy I was counting on you for childcare. Do you not want to provide that now? No? Ok thanks I have to work on finding a daycare. Hang up.

See not hard. Sometimes you really do need to confront people.

If she was running a daycare, she can’t close due to her own kid with a sniffle. See whatcplan did she have? None.

Find a paid spot. No running home. No saddling your husband in the afternoon. Isn’t he working?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We had such a post recently from the other side? Did we not? I mean not paying a friend for something like this, what a user is OP. You always communicate through facebook? Maybe she had an emergency in her family?

If my friend tried to pay me for doing a favor I would be offended. Op offered to pay her but she rejected the money. What else do you want her to do? Her friend sounds immature and flakey.

[Anonymous]

You are an idiot for thinking someone would want to watch your kid long-term without being paid and relying on this as an actual childcare arrangement.

Your friend is clueless for offering and flaky for backing out.

Time for you to visit daycares.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you just call her on her cell or home phone.

Suzy I was counting on you for childcare. Do you not want to provide that now? No? Ok thanks I have to work on finding a daycare. Hang up.

See not hard. Sometimes you really do need to confront people.

If she was running a daycare, she can’t close due to her own kid with a sniffle. See whatcplan did she have? None.

Find a paid spot. No running home. No saddling your husband in the afternoon. Isn’t he working?

Op. I did confront her last night when she responded with the made up excuse. I told her she left me in a bad spot. Maybe she did want me to pay her?! I really don't know because I am not a mind reader. I kept telling her in the beginning that I wanted to do this properly and pay her a home daycare rate. This was only supposed to be temporarily until December. I was planning on giving her gift cards because she kept insisting on not exchanging cash. I really think it's a cultural thing. My husband is from the same background and he said giving cash could be offensive. I really wish she could have just been honest with me about things and at least finished the week. It was 2 days this week. I have given her ride's to the store's, doctor appointments and I bring her food because she doesn't drive.Anyway it's over now and I will tour a daycare today.

[Anonymous]

Sorry OP. Sounds stressful and upsetting. Maybe her husband got in the way of her plan to keep your child?