Moms trying to orchestrate their kids social standing

[Anonymous]

Where are you posting from op? TX, FL, or CA?

[Anonymous]

I'm seeing lots of moms at my kids' elementary school obsessing over who is in their child's class, texting with other moms, setting up playdates before school starts, etc. I don't remember my mom ever doing anything like this. IMO, this is a reflection of the moms' extreme social anxiety about their kids doing okay at school and their interference with social relations that they should just leave alone.

People should just chill out. The kids can find out on day one who is in their class, and then they will make friends with some kids and will not make friends with others. Stay out of it, moms!

I have a middle schooler and it is a much better scene in the sense that parents are not anxiously hovering and feeding their children's own anxieties by getting involved like this.

[Anonymous]

I live in Latin America and it's definitely part of the culture here.

I am surprised to hear that it is similar in the United States.

I am interested to know if the same reasons it's popular in Latin America (low social mobility and inherited throughout generations-the opposite of the American dream; your family = your fate) is why it is also popular in the South.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm seeing lots of moms at my kids' elementary school obsessing over who is in their child's class, texting with other moms, setting up playdates before school starts, etc. I don't remember my mom ever doing anything like this. IMO, this is a reflection of the moms' extreme social anxiety about their kids doing okay at school and their interference with social relations that they should just leave alone.

People should just chill out. The kids can find out on day one who is in their class, and then they will make friends with some kids and will not make friends with others. Stay out of it, moms!

I have a middle schooler and it is a much better scene in the sense that parents are not anxiously hovering and feeding their children's own anxieties by getting involved like this.

The moms that the OP describe are ridiculous. I know 2 who operate the same way and it’s absurd, mean-girl behavior. What you’re describing is something totally different. It would be nice to just chill out but for those of us who have children struggling with anxiety, it’s comforting for such a child to know they have a friend in their new class. In fact, it makes the transition to the new school year infinitely easier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where are you posting from op? TX, FL, or CA?

Very affluent area in IL

[Anonymous]

Sorry ladies, I have older kids and you better believe this happens! These moms are gross. I feel sorry for the kids because it is setting them up for a hard reality when they are on their own having to make their own social decisions and live life on their own.

[Anonymous]

For all the moms who believe this and have lived it, How did you handle it? Ignore the mom’s?

[Anonymous]

My theroy is these women acting this way, did have their moment in school and have now used money and plastic surgery etc to project different person and on to their kids. Pretty pathetic if you ask me.

By the way I was a total awkward nerd in HS and turned out to be pretty hot later in my 20’s. I’m so glad I was so awkward and oblivious that I was never wrapped up in all of it. I may be still weird socially but that’s a different story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My theroy is these women acting this way, did have their moment in school and have now used money and plastic surgery etc to project different person and on to their kids. Pretty pathetic if you ask me.

By the way I was a total awkward nerd in HS and turned out to be pretty hot later in my 20’s. I’m so glad I was so awkward and oblivious that I was never wrapped up in all of it. I may be still weird socially but that’s a different story.

Clarification-didn’t have their moment in school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where are you posting from op? TX, FL, or CA?

Very affluent area in IL

Wannabe northshore town that doesn’t actually touch the lake or Highland Park? If this is HP, I would move. You’re going to see a lot more of this.

[Anonymous]

Where did they get a class list? The directory at our school doesn’t come out until January.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My theroy is these women acting this way, did have their moment in school and have now used money and plastic surgery etc to project different person and on to their kids. Pretty pathetic if you ask me.

By the way I was a total awkward nerd in HS and turned out to be pretty hot later in my 20’s. I’m so glad I was so awkward and oblivious that I was never wrapped up in all of it. I may be still weird socially but that’s a different story.

Clarification-didn’t have their moment in school

I agree with you. But in my small town, it IS the ones who had their moment in school. They can’t bear to not let the popular legacy continue. Anothe angle to it is that through their child’s popularity, they continue their own social dominance.

I’m an outsider who moved in three years ago. I already see three separate moms who grew up here (one older, one in 40s, one late twenties) all pulling this stunt. You can tell they intend for their sons and daughters to be cheerleading, football star, homecoming Queen, big party hosting, excluders.

They don’t like people who move in, because outsiders don’t recognize how cool they were during high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where are you posting from op? TX, FL, or CA?

Very affluent area in IL

Wannabe northshore town that doesn’t actually touch the lake or Highland Park? If this is HP, I would move. You’re going to see a lot more of this.

Hate this area. Counting down the days til I’m outta here!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where are you posting from op? TX, FL, or CA?

Very affluent area in IL

Wannabe northshore town that doesn’t actually touch the lake or Highland Park? If this is HP, I would move. You’re going to see a lot more of this.

Hate this area. Counting down the days til I’m outta here!

I knew it! Try Evanston!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where are you posting from op? TX, FL, or CA?

Very affluent area in IL

Wannabe northshore town that doesn’t actually touch the lake or Highland Park? If this is HP, I would move. You’re going to see a lot more of this.

Hate this area. Counting down the days til I’m outta here!

I knew it! Try Evanston!

This is just a temp living situation. Off to a different coast soon. How do people survive this attitude here? As a gross generalization, the women are petty and shallow and the men are kind of swarthy.