Moms trying to orchestrate their kids social standing

[Anonymous]

I rarely attend any mom group activities due to my work schedule, but this week I was able to join a parents meet and great and play group for all of my sons first grade classmates (there are 5 1st grade classes at his school). While all the kids were happily playing, a group of moms went over all of the class list and had been discussing who all the popular kids are in each class. Then they all went on to figure out how they could all get these kids to play with their kids. Is this a total anomaly? This is first grade, not HS. I’m not really involved in my sons social life, since he’s perfectly happy playing with a few friends from K and the kids on the block. None of this behavior would have ever occurred to me. Frankly, I think it’s pretty pathetic and it makes me sad that parents are passing on this mindset so early to their children.

[Anonymous]

That's lunacy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I rarely attend any mom group activities due to my work schedule, but this week I was able to join a parents meet and great and play group for all of my sons first grade classmates (there are 5 1st grade classes at his school). While all the kids were happily playing, a group of moms went over all of the class list and had been discussing who all the popular kids are in each class. Then they all went on to figure out how they could all get these kids to play with their kids. Is this a total anomaly? This is first grade, not HS. I’m not really involved in my sons social life, since he’s perfectly happy playing with a few friends from K and the kids on the block. None of this behavior would have ever occurred to me. Frankly, I think it’s pretty pathetic and it makes me sad that parents are passing on this mindset so early to their children.

Everyone tries to pass what they know onto their child. These moms understand social networking well. They are trying to teach it to their kids.

In time or perhaps already, you as a mom with a job and a career outside your home will pass on those skills to your children, to the best of your ability. And just as you would be disappointed if your children turn out to be indifferent students or ambition-less adults, those moms would be sad if their kids matured into socially awkward adults who cannot make the "right" connections.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I rarely attend any mom group activities due to my work schedule, but this week I was able to join a parents meet and great and play group for all of my sons first grade classmates (there are 5 1st grade classes at his school). While all the kids were happily playing, a group of moms went over all of the class list and had been discussing who all the popular kids are in each class. Then they all went on to figure out how they could all get these kids to play with their kids. Is this a total anomaly? This is first grade, not HS. I’m not really involved in my sons social life, since he’s perfectly happy playing with a few friends from K and the kids on the block. None of this behavior would have ever occurred to me. Frankly, I think it’s pretty pathetic and it makes me sad that parents are passing on this mindset so early to their children.

Everyone tries to pass what they know onto their child. These moms understand social networking well. They are trying to teach it to their kids.

In time or perhaps already, you as a mom with a job and a career outside your home will pass on those skills to your children, to the best of your ability. And just as you would be disappointed if your children turn out to be indifferent students or ambition-less adults, those moms would be sad if their kids matured into socially awkward adults who cannot make the "right" connections.

At this age the emphasis should be on being kind and treating other classmates equally

[Anonymous]

If that really happened, that’s nuts. And extremely pathetic.

[Anonymous]

Your mistake was not hanging out with the moms of the popular kids firs. Time to ditch these wannabee moms and slide into the queen bees' playgroup.

[Anonymous]

I don’t know whether it is the popular kids but I look at class lists to see where people we know are. I wouldn’t know who a popular kid was. I have 2 kids with a lot of friends. One kid is shy and quiet but very well liked. Other kid is very outgoing and also liked. Most people we know are through sports. My kids are just so so at sports.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I rarely attend any mom group activities due to my work schedule, but this week I was able to join a parents meet and great and play group for all of my sons first grade classmates (there are 5 1st grade classes at his school). While all the kids were happily playing, a group of moms went over all of the class list and had been discussing who all the popular kids are in each class. Then they all went on to figure out how they could all get these kids to play with their kids. Is this a total anomaly? This is first grade, not HS. I’m not really involved in my sons social life, since he’s perfectly happy playing with a few friends from K and the kids on the block. None of this behavior would have ever occurred to me. Frankly, I think it’s pretty pathetic and it makes me sad that parents are passing on this mindset so early to their children.

Everyone tries to pass what they know onto their child. These moms understand social networking well. They are trying to teach it to their kids.

In time or perhaps already, you as a mom with a job and a career outside your home will pass on those skills to your children, to the best of your ability. And just as you would be disappointed if your children turn out to be indifferent students or ambition-less adults, those moms would be sad if their kids matured into socially awkward adults who cannot make the "right" connections.

Thanks, Mitt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your mistake was not hanging out with the moms of the popular kids firs. Time to ditch these wannabee moms and slide into the queen bees' playgroup.

This will be my last attempt at playgroups.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your mistake was not hanging out with the moms of the popular kids firs. Time to ditch these wannabee moms and slide into the queen bees' playgroup.

This will be my last attempt at playgroups.

Good. If their kids need help making friends, then well..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know whether it is the popular kids but I look at class lists to see where people we know are. I wouldn’t know who a popular kid was. I have 2 kids with a lot of friends. One kid is shy and quiet but very well liked. Other kid is very outgoing and also liked. Most people we know are through sports. My kids are just so so at


the only way these moms know these other kids are ‘popular’ is by asking their kids about the other well liked or popular kids in their classes. Which is just totally pathetic to begin with.

[Anonymous]

Yep, this happens, sadly. It manifests itself with a cabal of moms who, somehow, engineer class assignmemts to make sure a suitable group is together. These are typical UMC people doing this. One problem is that they are not teaching kids how to get along with people from various walks of life. But the goal seems to be to go from the bubble to UVA and right back to the bubble.

[Anonymous]

Those Moms sound pathetic. I feel sorry for their kids.

[Anonymous]

Nope, have never heard of this. Ever.

[Anonymous]

This is the best way to ensure your kid is a total lemming!