DH's ex wife

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Today my daughter told me that DH's ex wife keeps coming round when I am at work to "Drop something off for Ethan" (Ethan is DH's teenage son who lives with us.) . DD said they all stand around, chatting and laughing for a while and when I asked my nanny who looks after DD she confirmed it.
Should I be suspicious? It all seems a bit weird to me that she only does it when she knows DH is there working from home....

OP what does "who looks after DD she confirmed it mean?" I didn't understand what you mean't. If she knows your DH is working it's rude of her to do that. Why don't people understand working at home is working!

Dd’s Nanny (the person who looks after dd) confirmed that exwife comes by as dd said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lots of bitter ex-wives here today!

No just a lotta soap opera fans who can't resist the urge to compare every incident in their life to an episode of All My Children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, what is the custody agreement? Does she have specific visitation days or is it open? Is there any reason she shouldn't see her son? If not, email her and ask if everything is ok as she seems to be dropping over a lot. Tell her you don't mind if she wants to pick him up and take him out for a few hours as long as homework is done but please let you know 24 hours in advanced, if possible.

Yeah...no. In fact, hell no. OP doesn't have to give Ethan's mom permission to see her own son.

She can't just come over when she wants either. Yes she does need to ask to drop over beforehand.

If they go by the court order that's when she get's to see her son. Their house isn't a visiting center either.

Well, presumably she doesn't have a key. Someone is inviting her in. OP could make everyone's life more unpleasant by insisting that if she shows up, her stepson has to go talk to her in the driveway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of bitter ex-wives here today!

No just a lotta soap opera fans who can't resist the urge to compare every incident in their life to an episode of All My Children.

Hahaha! That's a good one. Some are a page long and they could write a book on a few sentences that OP wrote. Maybe they are in the wrong business. I don't see anything that OP said that was wrong. I have more questions, would need to know more about the dynamics first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Today my daughter told me that DH's ex wife keeps coming round when I am at work to "Drop something off for Ethan" (Ethan is DH's teenage son who lives with us.) . DD said they all stand around, chatting and laughing for a while and when I asked my nanny who looks after DD she confirmed it.
Should I be suspicious? It all seems a bit weird to me that she only does it when she knows DH is there working from home....

OP what does "who looks after DD she confirmed it mean?" I didn't understand what you mean't. If she knows your DH is working it's rude of her to do that. Why don't people understand working at home is working!

Dd’s Nanny (the person who looks after dd) confirmed that exwife comes by as dd said.

Ok thanks, I took it differently. got it now.

[Anonymous]

OP where are you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No? Don't be a psycho. It is good for Ethan that DH and XDW have such a great relationship.

If they were having an affair they wouldn't have been chatting it up in front of nanny and DD anyway.

If you care about Ethan at all don't turn into a lunatic about this.

+1
You should encourage a friendship for Ethan's parents

[Anonymous]

She never turned into a lunatic, lol. Merely thought it was strange....AND that's about all we have at this point people!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She never turned into a lunatic, lol. Merely thought it was strange....AND that's about all we have at this point people!

The word "don't" when used in a sentence like 'don't turn into a lunatic' implies a potential future state that can be avoided by the subject not a current state.

[Anonymous]

I still blow my ex when I see him about something dealing with our kids. NOT!

[Anonymous]

Your DD sounds like a mindless snitch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your DD sounds like a mindless snitch.

Have issues don't you...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your DD sounds like a mindless snitch.

Jeezus H the kid is asked a question and said what she sees. And read: it was the nanny who did the confirming.

Bottom line is this is on the DH-- he either wants the XW around or he doesnt. He obviously does, if for no other reason than his son can see his mom.

OP is paranoid and yup, was probably an AP first and now the sheen is wearing off big time

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, what is the custody agreement? Does she have specific visitation days or is it open? Is there any reason she shouldn't see her son? If not, email her and ask if everything is ok as she seems to be dropping over a lot. Tell her you don't mind if she wants to pick him up and take him out for a few hours as long as homework is done but please let you know 24 hours in advanced, if possible.

Yeah...no. In fact, hell no. OP doesn't have to give Ethan's mom permission to see her own son.

Actually, that's possibly not true, depending on the custody agreement. That's the key here, everything else is wildly speculative. If she is overreaching on her visitation/custody, and going on private property without permission, there could be an issue. But again, it's up to the DH and XW what the custody agreement is, and how it is being handled.

Its basic communication and you don't want to let it get into a situation where child is manipulating the parents for any reason. It depends the custody agreement. If this were Dad, most people would be streaming the other way but since its Mom, its ok. No, its not ok and she needs to let Dad/Stepmom know she's coming or taking him. Mom may have lost custody for one reason or another and who knows what the situation is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's calculating and disrespectful as does OP. The house is her domain and the ex knows it. It's her little passive aggressive way of putting OP in her place by letting her know she can invade her personal space any time she pleases. She isn't dropping by when OP isn't there to avoid an awkward situation. She is doing it to foster a hostile situation. I doubt she is the type who ever feels awkward about such things.

My spouse would never let his ex in the front door, lol!!! A major space invader. I would talk to my dh and he would be telling her "nicely" she can wait till work is over. Or he and OP will drop over sometime and pick it up for Ethan. Problem solved.

My point, above, exactly. Your ex's home is not a place you should feel free to enter and hang out, no matter your BS excuse.