DH's ex wife

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's really important for everyone responding to note that OP has not been back to this thread.

I'm the ex-wife, and my ex-husband's new wife made a rule that I wasn't allowed inside their house. Her justification was that they were "trying to build their own space" and apparently, me coming in out of the rain to get my ex to sign some paperwork about camp when picking up my daughter really disrupted "their own space" somehow.

It was a very clear signal about what she expected everyone's relationship to be going forward, and that my ex was fine with this rule was a clear signal that he cared more about her comfort than our ability to communicate cordially about DD. Other examples include that he is apparently not allowed to email me without including her on the emails. I thought it was weird that any time I emailed him, he'd write back CC-ing her so I asked him about it and he said "Wife isn't comfortable with us having any kind of private communication."

I was already remarried when they got together and frankly, her objections to me and my ex "being alone together" even in the context of an email and her refusal to allow me to enter their house at all (like, they literally make me wait on the porch if I have to bring anything there for DD or am picking her up) makes her seem pretty pathetic.

You can talk about DD without being inside their home. The emails seem a bit much but why would it bother you he was cc her? Maybe it was to let her know of upcoming plans or visits from DD. She's also parenting and is an adult in charge when DD is there. Either way we didn't allow our exes inside our home.
Would you be ok with step mom coming inside your home? If everyone is ok with that, it's perfectly fine. If one adult isn't comfortable that's ok too. People have different privacy settings and boundaries.

Frankly, I don't care how uncomfortable she was. It is unbelievably rude to make a person stand outside in the rain when they come over to pick up their child. I'm telling you, she answered the door, then said, "Wait here" and closed it in my face while she went to go find my ex. A polite person would not behave that way. I am not talking about standing around talking. I'm talking about a blanket policy of not allowing me to go inside their house for any reason or duration, period. It is weird and made me think that maybe she should have chosen a partner who had not been married and had a child with someone else previously.

She and my ex are both welcome in my home, which is also my DD's home. They are her parents too. We have had birthday parties at my house for DD, and they were both welcome and did attend without issue.

What?

My ex-husband and his new wife are just as much my daughter's parents as I and my new husband are.

I honestly don't understand this line of thinking. I mean, I don't question that you feel this way. But it is honestly incomprehensible to me that you think your husband's new wife is equal to you as a parent when it comes to your daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's really important for everyone responding to note that OP has not been back to this thread.

I'm the ex-wife, and my ex-husband's new wife made a rule that I wasn't allowed inside their house. Her justification was that they were "trying to build their own space" and apparently, me coming in out of the rain to get my ex to sign some paperwork about camp when picking up my daughter really disrupted "their own space" somehow.

It was a very clear signal about what she expected everyone's relationship to be going forward, and that my ex was fine with this rule was a clear signal that he cared more about her comfort than our ability to communicate cordially about DD. Other examples include that he is apparently not allowed to email me without including her on the emails. I thought it was weird that any time I emailed him, he'd write back CC-ing her so I asked him about it and he said "Wife isn't comfortable with us having any kind of private communication."

I was already remarried when they got together and frankly, her objections to me and my ex "being alone together" even in the context of an email and her refusal to allow me to enter their house at all (like, they literally make me wait on the porch if I have to bring anything there for DD or am picking her up) makes her seem pretty pathetic.

You can talk about DD without being inside their home. The emails seem a bit much but why would it bother you he was cc her? Maybe it was to let her know of upcoming plans or visits from DD. She's also parenting and is an adult in charge when DD is there. Either way we didn't allow our exes inside our home.
Would you be ok with step mom coming inside your home? If everyone is ok with that, it's perfectly fine. If one adult isn't comfortable that's ok too. People have different privacy settings and boundaries.

Frankly, I don't care how uncomfortable she was. It is unbelievably rude to make a person stand outside in the rain when they come over to pick up their child. I'm telling you, she answered the door, then said, "Wait here" and closed it in my face while she went to go find my ex. A polite person would not behave that way. I am not talking about standing around talking. I'm talking about a blanket policy of not allowing me to go inside their house for any reason or duration, period. It is weird and made me think that maybe she should have chosen a partner who had not been married and had a child with someone else previously.

She and my ex are both welcome in my home, which is also my DD's home. They are her parents too. We have had birthday parties at my house for DD, and they were both welcome and did attend without issue.

What?

My ex-husband and his new wife are just as much my daughter's parents as I and my new husband are.

I honestly don't understand this line of thinking. I mean, I don't question that you feel this way. But it is honestly incomprehensible to me that you think your husband's new wife is equal to you as a parent when it comes to your daughter.

I don't think she mean't equal in that way. More like another responsible adult that also takes care of DD. My thinking is whatever works for the adults and children it's all good. No one should push, simply accept other people's boundaries. That's life in general we're all different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's really important for everyone responding to note that OP has not been back to this thread.

I'm the ex-wife, and my ex-husband's new wife made a rule that I wasn't allowed inside their house. Her justification was that they were "trying to build their own space" and apparently, me coming in out of the rain to get my ex to sign some paperwork about camp when picking up my daughter really disrupted "their own space" somehow.

It was a very clear signal about what she expected everyone's relationship to be going forward, and that my ex was fine with this rule was a clear signal that he cared more about her comfort than our ability to communicate cordially about DD. Other examples include that he is apparently not allowed to email me without including her on the emails. I thought it was weird that any time I emailed him, he'd write back CC-ing her so I asked him about it and he said "Wife isn't comfortable with us having any kind of private communication."

I was already remarried when they got together and frankly, her objections to me and my ex "being alone together" even in the context of an email and her refusal to allow me to enter their house at all (like, they literally make me wait on the porch if I have to bring anything there for DD or am picking her up) makes her seem pretty pathetic.

You can talk about DD without being inside their home. The emails seem a bit much but why would it bother you he was cc her? Maybe it was to let her know of upcoming plans or visits from DD. She's also parenting and is an adult in charge when DD is there. Either way we didn't allow our exes inside our home.
Would you be ok with step mom coming inside your home? If everyone is ok with that, it's perfectly fine. If one adult isn't comfortable that's ok too. People have different privacy settings and boundaries.

Frankly, I don't care how uncomfortable she was. It is unbelievably rude to make a person stand outside in the rain when they come over to pick up their child. I'm telling you, she answered the door, then said, "Wait here" and closed it in my face while she went to go find my ex. A polite person would not behave that way. I am not talking about standing around talking. I'm talking about a blanket policy of not allowing me to go inside their house for any reason or duration, period. It is weird and made me think that maybe she should have chosen a partner who had not been married and had a child with someone else previously.

She and my ex are both welcome in my home, which is also my DD's home. They are her parents too. We have had birthday parties at my house for DD, and they were both welcome and did attend without issue.

What?

My ex-husband and his new wife are just as much my daughter's parents as I and my new husband are.

I honestly don't understand this line of thinking. I mean, I don't question that you feel this way. But it is honestly incomprehensible to me that you think your husband's new wife is equal to you as a parent when it comes to your daughter.

I mean, I don't think she's EQUAL to me. But we are all DD's parents. Despite not caring for her personally and finding her insecurity about me standing in her foyer for 3 minutes pretty silly, I do respect that she loves DD, that she and DD have a relationship, and that for better or worse, my ex chose her to make a life with after our divorce. He could have chosen someone who was cruel to DD or someone who was irresponsible. I don't object to her participating in parenting decisions about DD (e.g., when we email about what camps to put DD in, when we discuss vacation timing, etc.).

But if we ran into a situation where she and I seriously disagreed about something related to DD, the decision comes down to what my ex and I agree on. The same applies to my husband, for what it's worth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pp, I get that your ex's new wife came into the picture long after you were already remarried, so it sounds like she wasn't an "OW." my ex had an affair and if he marries the OW, I fully intend to implement similar rules as you described to keep her the hell out of my life and space. I don't care if it's rude. She was rude when she slept with my husband.

Yes, my ex is also a loser, and I ONLY communicate with him about the children. Nothing more, ever.

I guarantee you she wants nothing to do with you either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's really important for everyone responding to note that OP has not been back to this thread.

I'm the ex-wife, and my ex-husband's new wife made a rule that I wasn't allowed inside their house. Her justification was that they were "trying to build their own space" and apparently, me coming in out of the rain to get my ex to sign some paperwork about camp when picking up my daughter really disrupted "their own space" somehow.

It was a very clear signal about what she expected everyone's relationship to be going forward, and that my ex was fine with this rule was a clear signal that he cared more about her comfort than our ability to communicate cordially about DD. Other examples include that he is apparently not allowed to email me without including her on the emails. I thought it was weird that any time I emailed him, he'd write back CC-ing her so I asked him about it and he said "Wife isn't comfortable with us having any kind of private communication."

I was already remarried when they got together and frankly, her objections to me and my ex "being alone together" even in the context of an email and her refusal to allow me to enter their house at all (like, they literally make me wait on the porch if I have to bring anything there for DD or am picking her up) makes her seem pretty pathetic.

You can talk about DD without being inside their home. The emails seem a bit much but why would it bother you he was cc her? Maybe it was to let her know of upcoming plans or visits from DD. She's also parenting and is an adult in charge when DD is there. Either way we didn't allow our exes inside our home.
Would you be ok with step mom coming inside your home? If everyone is ok with that, it's perfectly fine. If one adult isn't comfortable that's ok too. People have different privacy settings and boundaries.

I can't believe people are this insecure. You make someone wait on the porch because you are so terrified of your space being violated? I feel for the men married to these insecure ladies. But once they cheat they will be happier.

You come across as very angry for some reason. Honestly, it's their house...their choice. There you go back to "insecure" and "cheating" all because they don't want to be friends with the ex, nor have them in their home. Which is typical for most btw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp, I get that your ex's new wife came into the picture long after you were already remarried, so it sounds like she wasn't an "OW." my ex had an affair and if he marries the OW, I fully intend to implement similar rules as you described to keep her the hell out of my life and space. I don't care if it's rude. She was rude when she slept with my husband.

Yes, my ex is also a loser, and I ONLY communicate with him about the children. Nothing more, ever.

I guarantee you she wants nothing to do with you either.

PP shouldn't have anything to do with either of them. Texts only to ex loser plus he would have to meet at a neutral location for child exchanges. Neither would come near my home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's really important for everyone responding to note that OP has not been back to this thread.

I'm the ex-wife, and my ex-husband's new wife made a rule that I wasn't allowed inside their house. Her justification was that they were "trying to build their own space" and apparently, me coming in out of the rain to get my ex to sign some paperwork about camp when picking up my daughter really disrupted "their own space" somehow.

It was a very clear signal about what she expected everyone's relationship to be going forward, and that my ex was fine with this rule was a clear signal that he cared more about her comfort than our ability to communicate cordially about DD. Other examples include that he is apparently not allowed to email me without including her on the emails. I thought it was weird that any time I emailed him, he'd write back CC-ing her so I asked him about it and he said "Wife isn't comfortable with us having any kind of private communication."

I was already remarried when they got together and frankly, her objections to me and my ex "being alone together" even in the context of an email and her refusal to allow me to enter their house at all (like, they literally make me wait on the porch if I have to bring anything there for DD or am picking her up) makes her seem pretty pathetic.

You can talk about DD without being inside their home. The emails seem a bit much but why would it bother you he was cc her? Maybe it was to let her know of upcoming plans or visits from DD. She's also parenting and is an adult in charge when DD is there. Either way we didn't allow our exes inside our home.
Would you be ok with step mom coming inside your home? If everyone is ok with that, it's perfectly fine. If one adult isn't comfortable that's ok too. People have different privacy settings and boundaries.

Frankly, I don't care how uncomfortable she was. It is unbelievably rude to make a person stand outside in the rain when they come over to pick up their child. I'm telling you, she answered the door, then said, "Wait here" and closed it in my face while she went to go find my ex. A polite person would not behave that way. I am not talking about standing around talking. I'm talking about a blanket policy of not allowing me to go inside their house for any reason or duration, period. It is weird and made me think that maybe she should have chosen a partner who had not been married and had a child with someone else previously.

She and my ex are both welcome in my home, which is also my DD's home. They are her parents too. We have had birthday parties at my house for DD, and they were both welcome and did attend without issue.

What?

My ex-husband and his new wife are just as much my daughter's parents as I and my new husband are.

I honestly don't understand this line of thinking. I mean, I don't question that you feel this way. But it is honestly incomprehensible to me that you think your husband's new wife is equal to you as a parent when it comes to your daughter.

Are you a part of a blended family? The fact that you can't see the nuance in this phrasing and the positive implications it has on PP and her children and their lives means that you would be a crappy step parent or bio parent in this situation.

- adult who has step parents that were in my life from a very young age.

[Anonymous]

The solution here is to have DH go over to his ex-wife’s house frequently to pick up items for their son. You wouldn’t have a problem with that, right OP?

[Anonymous]

All you new wives who don't want the ex's to communicate without cc'd you, or come over and step inside your house or do whatever you don't want them to do are crazy. It is *only* a good thing for the kids involved if there are thoughtful, mature adults in their lives who learn to put their differences aside in order to model behavior, set an example and be able to discuss in a real way the challenges of raising kids. You are all paranoid and doing all these kids a real disservice by making it about YOU instead of them. I'm so sad for these kids...

[Anonymous]

If the current wife doesn't want you, the ex, in her space, respect that. Don't judge her. You don't know what private issues she and your ex have. Blending families has its challenges, and if this makes it easier for her, go with it.

You want your children to have the happiest, most harmonious homes with positive parents. If it takes you staying out of his wife's space, and having transparent interactions with her husband (no longer yours), do it. He has to put her ahead of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's really important for everyone responding to note that OP has not been back to this thread.

I'm the ex-wife, and my ex-husband's new wife made a rule that I wasn't allowed inside their house. Her justification was that they were "trying to build their own space" and apparently, me coming in out of the rain to get my ex to sign some paperwork about camp when picking up my daughter really disrupted "their own space" somehow.

It was a very clear signal about what she expected everyone's relationship to be going forward, and that my ex was fine with this rule was a clear signal that he cared more about her comfort than our ability to communicate cordially about DD. Other examples include that he is apparently not allowed to email me without including her on the emails. I thought it was weird that any time I emailed him, he'd write back CC-ing her so I asked him about it and he said "Wife isn't comfortable with us having any kind of private communication."

I was already remarried when they got together and frankly, her objections to me and my ex "being alone together" even in the context of an email and her refusal to allow me to enter their house at all (like, they literally make me wait on the porch if I have to bring anything there for DD or am picking her up) makes her seem pretty pathetic.

I find it very odd, but maybe you can take some time to get to know her so she isn't threatened. I'd just avoid going in the house and if paperwork needs signed ask Dad to come to your house. If she wants to come, fine, welcome her in and set the good example for your child. If she coordinates all the plans and does all the shopping, like I do, I could see him CCing or saying to me can I take care of it for both of you. My husband does that with all the stuff for his mom as I take care of 99% as he doesn't have time.

I don't see the issue with communication though and she's feeling insecure for what ever reason so maybe try to reach out to her and communicate. However, you are the parents, she is not and ultimately it is the two of you, in less it impacts her in terms of money or time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All you new wives who don't want the ex's to communicate without cc'd you, or come over and step inside your house or do whatever you don't want them to do are crazy. It is *only* a good thing for the kids involved if there are thoughtful, mature adults in their lives who learn to put their differences aside in order to model behavior, set an example and be able to discuss in a real way the challenges of raising kids. You are all paranoid and doing all these kids a real disservice by making it about YOU instead of them. I'm so sad for these kids...

My husband wouldn't want his ex in our house but I couldn't care less. They live across the country so its a non-issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's really important for everyone responding to note that OP has not been back to this thread.

I'm the ex-wife, and my ex-husband's new wife made a rule that I wasn't allowed inside their house. Her justification was that they were "trying to build their own space" and apparently, me coming in out of the rain to get my ex to sign some paperwork about camp when picking up my daughter really disrupted "their own space" somehow.

It was a very clear signal about what she expected everyone's relationship to be going forward, and that my ex was fine with this rule was a clear signal that he cared more about her comfort than our ability to communicate cordially about DD. Other examples include that he is apparently not allowed to email me without including her on the emails. I thought it was weird that any time I emailed him, he'd write back CC-ing her so I asked him about it and he said "Wife isn't comfortable with us having any kind of private communication."

I was already remarried when they got together and frankly, her objections to me and my ex "being alone together" even in the context of an email and her refusal to allow me to enter their house at all (like, they literally make me wait on the porch if I have to bring anything there for DD or am picking her up) makes her seem pretty pathetic.

You can talk about DD without being inside their home. The emails seem a bit much but why would it bother you he was cc her? Maybe it was to let her know of upcoming plans or visits from DD. She's also parenting and is an adult in charge when DD is there. Either way we didn't allow our exes inside our home.
Would you be ok with step mom coming inside your home? If everyone is ok with that, it's perfectly fine. If one adult isn't comfortable that's ok too. People have different privacy settings and boundaries.

Frankly, I don't care how uncomfortable she was. It is unbelievably rude to make a person stand outside in the rain when they come over to pick up their child. I'm telling you, she answered the door, then said, "Wait here" and closed it in my face while she went to go find my ex. A polite person would not behave that way. I am not talking about standing around talking. I'm talking about a blanket policy of not allowing me to go inside their house for any reason or duration, period. It is weird and made me think that maybe she should have chosen a partner who had not been married and had a child with someone else previously.

She and my ex are both welcome in my home, which is also my DD's home. They are her parents too. We have had birthday parties at my house for DD, and they were both welcome and did attend without issue.

What?

My ex-husband and his new wife are just as much my daughter's parents as I and my new husband are.

No, stepparents are not just as much parents. Your husband is not her parent. He is her step-parent and its different. If you divorced, he'd have no legal rights to her nor could you claim child support. Its nice to include them in parenting decisions especially those that impact them but they are not equal parents. I am a stepparent and I don't feel equal nor do I feel they are my kids even if I treat them as if they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's really important for everyone responding to note that OP has not been back to this thread.

I'm the ex-wife, and my ex-husband's new wife made a rule that I wasn't allowed inside their house. Her justification was that they were "trying to build their own space" and apparently, me coming in out of the rain to get my ex to sign some paperwork about camp when picking up my daughter really disrupted "their own space" somehow.

It was a very clear signal about what she expected everyone's relationship to be going forward, and that my ex was fine with this rule was a clear signal that he cared more about her comfort than our ability to communicate cordially about DD. Other examples include that he is apparently not allowed to email me without including her on the emails. I thought it was weird that any time I emailed him, he'd write back CC-ing her so I asked him about it and he said "Wife isn't comfortable with us having any kind of private communication."

I was already remarried when they got together and frankly, her objections to me and my ex "being alone together" even in the context of an email and her refusal to allow me to enter their house at all (like, they literally make me wait on the porch if I have to bring anything there for DD or am picking her up) makes her seem pretty pathetic.

You can talk about DD without being inside their home. The emails seem a bit much but why would it bother you he was cc her? Maybe it was to let her know of upcoming plans or visits from DD. She's also parenting and is an adult in charge when DD is there. Either way we didn't allow our exes inside our home.
Would you be ok with step mom coming inside your home? If everyone is ok with that, it's perfectly fine. If one adult isn't comfortable that's ok too. People have different privacy settings and boundaries.

Frankly, I don't care how uncomfortable she was. It is unbelievably rude to make a person stand outside in the rain when they come over to pick up their child. I'm telling you, she answered the door, then said, "Wait here" and closed it in my face while she went to go find my ex. A polite person would not behave that way. I am not talking about standing around talking. I'm talking about a blanket policy of not allowing me to go inside their house for any reason or duration, period. It is weird and made me think that maybe she should have chosen a partner who had not been married and had a child with someone else previously.

She and my ex are both welcome in my home, which is also my DD's home. They are her parents too. We have had birthday parties at my house for DD, and they were both welcome and did attend without issue.

What?

My ex-husband and his new wife are just as much my daughter's parents as I and my new husband are.

I honestly don't understand this line of thinking. I mean, I don't question that you feel this way. But it is honestly incomprehensible to me that you think your husband's new wife is equal to you as a parent when it comes to your daughter.

Are you a part of a blended family? The fact that you can't see the nuance in this phrasing and the positive implications it has on PP and her children and their lives means that you would be a crappy step parent or bio parent in this situation.

- adult who has step parents that were in my life from a very young age.

There is zero nuance in the phrasing of "My ex-husband and his new wife are just as much my daughter's parents as I and my new husband are."

You're right, I don't see anything positive in allowing any other people to be equal to parents. Well-intentioned adult? OK. Loves my child? OK. Equal to me? No way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's really important for everyone responding to note that OP has not been back to this thread.

I'm the ex-wife, and my ex-husband's new wife made a rule that I wasn't allowed inside their house. Her justification was that they were "trying to build their own space" and apparently, me coming in out of the rain to get my ex to sign some paperwork about camp when picking up my daughter really disrupted "their own space" somehow.

It was a very clear signal about what she expected everyone's relationship to be going forward, and that my ex was fine with this rule was a clear signal that he cared more about her comfort than our ability to communicate cordially about DD. Other examples include that he is apparently not allowed to email me without including her on the emails. I thought it was weird that any time I emailed him, he'd write back CC-ing her so I asked him about it and he said "Wife isn't comfortable with us having any kind of private communication."

I was already remarried when they got together and frankly, her objections to me and my ex "being alone together" even in the context of an email and her refusal to allow me to enter their house at all (like, they literally make me wait on the porch if I have to bring anything there for DD or am picking her up) makes her seem pretty pathetic.

You can talk about DD without being inside their home. The emails seem a bit much but why would it bother you he was cc her? Maybe it was to let her know of upcoming plans or visits from DD. She's also parenting and is an adult in charge when DD is there. Either way we didn't allow our exes inside our home.
Would you be ok with step mom coming inside your home? If everyone is ok with that, it's perfectly fine. If one adult isn't comfortable that's ok too. People have different privacy settings and boundaries.

Frankly, I don't care how uncomfortable she was. It is unbelievably rude to make a person stand outside in the rain when they come over to pick up their child. I'm telling you, she answered the door, then said, "Wait here" and closed it in my face while she went to go find my ex. A polite person would not behave that way. I am not talking about standing around talking. I'm talking about a blanket policy of not allowing me to go inside their house for any reason or duration, period. It is weird and made me think that maybe she should have chosen a partner who had not been married and had a child with someone else previously.

She and my ex are both welcome in my home, which is also my DD's home. They are her parents too. We have had birthday parties at my house for DD, and they were both welcome and did attend without issue.

What?

My ex-husband and his new wife are just as much my daughter's parents as I and my new husband are.

I honestly don't understand this line of thinking. I mean, I don't question that you feel this way. But it is honestly incomprehensible to me that you think your husband's new wife is equal to you as a parent when it comes to your daughter.

I mean, I don't think she's EQUAL to me. But we are all DD's parents. Despite not caring for her personally and finding her insecurity about me standing in her foyer for 3 minutes pretty silly, I do respect that she loves DD, that she and DD have a relationship, and that for better or worse, my ex chose her to make a life with after our divorce. He could have chosen someone who was cruel to DD or someone who was irresponsible. I don't object to her participating in parenting decisions about DD (e.g., when we email about what camps to put DD in, when we discuss vacation timing, etc.).

But if we ran into a situation where she and I seriously disagreed about something related to DD, the decision comes down to what my ex and I agree on. The same applies to my husband, for what it's worth.

The way you explain the relationship makes sense. I still don't get the use of a word "parent" as applied to your ex's new wife, but if you're happy with this setup, that's the only thing that matters. Parents are too sacred to have anyone equal them.

I don't think camps/vacation timing is a parenting decision per se in that the new wife's participation in these decision is purely on the basis of logistics, i.e. "this time works" and "this time doesn't work."

Parenting decisions are more like, "I don't think boys should go to figure skating camps", or "I don't think girls should wear pants/have boyfriends/use lipstick", or "I don't think he/she needs to take AP classes". The appropriate response to this is "nobody cares what you think."