DH's ex wife

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Today my daughter told me that DH's ex wife keeps coming round when I am at work to "Drop something off for Ethan" (Ethan is DH's teenage son who lives with us.) . DD said they all stand around, chatting and laughing for a while and when I asked my nanny who looks after DD she confirmed it.
Should I be suspicious? It all seems a bit weird to me that she only does it when she knows DH is there working from home....

Wait, so Ethan is also her son? And you have an issue with her chatting and laughing with her son? WTF...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Today my daughter told me that DH's ex wife keeps coming round when I am at work to "Drop something off for Ethan" (Ethan is DH's teenage son who lives with us.) . DD said they all stand around, chatting and laughing for a while and when I asked my nanny who looks after DD she confirmed it.
Should I be suspicious? It all seems a bit weird to me that she only does it when she knows DH is there working from home....

Wait, so Ethan is also her son? And you have an issue with her chatting and laughing with her son? WTF...

Agreed! WTF!?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Today my daughter told me that DH's ex wife keeps coming round when I am at work to "Drop something off for Ethan" (Ethan is DH's teenage son who lives with us.) . DD said they all stand around, chatting and laughing for a while and when I asked my nanny who looks after DD she confirmed it.
Should I be suspicious? It all seems a bit weird to me that she only does it when she knows DH is there working from home....

Wait, so Ethan is also her son? And you have an issue with her chatting and laughing with her son? WTF...

Agreed! WTF!?

All males in the home are now the sole property of OP.

[Anonymous]

None of that matters and none of you know her circumstances. Coming over during the day when her dh is suppose to be working is not right. She can come to pick up her son and then visit with him that way. She doesn't need to be inside of OP's home imo when she's not there. Her home is not a visiting site either. I assume she has her allotted time with her son.

I can see once or twice to bring something over to her son, BUT if this continues she should talk to DH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:None of that matters and none of you know her circumstances. Coming over during the day when her dh is suppose to be working is not right. She can come to pick up her son and then visit with him that way. She doesn't need to be inside of OP's home imo when she's not there. Her home is not a visiting site either. I assume she has her allotted time with her son.

I can see once or twice to bring something over to her son, BUT if this continues she should talk to DH.

It's not just OP's home, dingbat. It's Ethan's home, too. It's Ethan's dad's home, too. Those three people are a family, whether OP likes it or not.

It sounds like the ex-wife, ex-husband and son have a healthy and close relationship. That's wonderful! Now, if they were going up to Ethan's room together to sit on the bed and chat, that would be one thing. But they are not. They are *standing in a hallway.*

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Today my daughter told me that DH's ex wife keeps coming round when I am at work to "Drop something off for Ethan" (Ethan is DH's teenage son who lives with us.) . DD said they all stand around, chatting and laughing for a while and when I asked my nanny who looks after DD she confirmed it.
Should I be suspicious? It all seems a bit weird to me that she only does it when she knows DH is there working from home....

"keeps coming around when I am work to drop something off for Ethan". Yes that's her being stupid, and disruptive for your husband whose trying to work.

Talk to your husband, I'm sure there's a nice way for you guys to tell her to bring anything over after work hours. Or she can get more organized and not
FORGET his SHIT!! OP she sounds like a idiot!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Today my daughter told me that DH's ex wife keeps coming round when I am at work to "Drop something off for Ethan" (Ethan is DH's teenage son who lives with us.) . DD said they all stand around, chatting and laughing for a while and when I asked my nanny who looks after DD she confirmed it.
Should I be suspicious? It all seems a bit weird to me that she only does it when she knows DH is there working from home....

"keeps coming around when I am work to drop something off for Ethan". Yes that's her being stupid, and disruptive for your husband whose trying to work.

Talk to your husband, I'm sure there's a nice way for you guys to tell her to bring anything over after work hours. Or she can get more organized and not
FORGET his SHIT!! OP she sounds like a idiot!

If the husband has a problem with it, he can say something to his ex directly. No one in this situation is going to want OP stepping in to manage things.

[Anonymous]

Aside from the fact that you are trying to create an issue out of a mom speaking to her son and the father of her son in front of witnesses, I notice you have recruited your daughter to spy for you when you're not home and reached out to your nanny rather than your husband for corroboration. You seem batshit crazy, OP, and you well deserve your inevitable contentious divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Today my daughter told me that DH's ex wife keeps coming round when I am at work to "Drop something off for Ethan" (Ethan is DH's teenage son who lives with us.) . DD said they all stand around, chatting and laughing for a while and when I asked my nanny who looks after DD she confirmed it.
Should I be suspicious? It all seems a bit weird to me that she only does it when she knows DH is there working from home....

"keeps coming around when I am work to drop something off for Ethan". Yes that's her being stupid, and disruptive for your husband whose trying to work.

Talk to your husband, I'm sure there's a nice way for you guys to tell her to bring anything over after work hours. Or she can get more organized and not
FORGET his SHIT!! OP she sounds like a idiot!

If the husband has a problem with it, he can say something to his ex directly. No one in this situation is going to want OP stepping in to manage things.

+1 And, strange thought here, maybe OPs DH actually likes talking to the mother of his child? Maybe everyone is enjoying these little visits? And maybe they happen when OP isn't around because OP wouldn't allow any semblance of familial interactions between Ethan, her DH, and DHs ex?

OP, push your luck too hard here and you're going to be Ex Mrs. DH sooner than you think.

[Anonymous]

Is Ethan there when the Ex stops by?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Aside from the fact that you are trying to create an issue out of a mom speaking to her son and the father of her son in front of witnesses, I notice you have recruited your daughter to spy for you when you're not home and reached out to your nanny rather than your husband for corroboration. You seem batshit crazy, OP, and you well deserve your inevitable contentious divorce.

While I dont' agree with the second part of the last sentence, I agree that it is WEIRD OF YOU TO USE YOUR DAUGHTER AND NANNY AS A SPY, OP! Check yourself, nut up, and *talk to your husband.* Like a big girl.

[Anonymous]

OP if it keeps occurring then she's over stepping her boundaries. I would at that point talk to your husband and tell him how you feel. He may feel the same way.

How is the relationship with the ex? We both don't want our exes inside our home, never been a issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:None of that matters and none of you know her circumstances. Coming over during the day when her dh is suppose to be working is not right. She can come to pick up her son and then visit with him that way. She doesn't need to be inside of OP's home imo when she's not there. Her home is not a visiting site either. I assume she has her allotted time with her son.

I can see once or twice to bring something over to her son, BUT if this continues she should talk to DH.

It's not just OP's home, dingbat. It's Ethan's home, too. It's Ethan's dad's home, too. Those three people are a family, whether OP likes it or not.

It sounds like the ex-wife, ex-husband and son have a healthy and close relationship. That's wonderful! Now, if they were going up to Ethan's room together to sit on the bed and chat, that would be one thing. But they are not. They are *standing in a hallway.*

According to OP, it's not Ethan's home. "He lives with us." I tend to think OP thinks it's her home with Dh and her kid, and Ethan lives with them. She would never think of her own kid as living with them. If I'm wrong, why wouldn't she formulate it as, "We live together."

OP, like poster said, they're a family. You can try to intervene with that, but you'll just fight your way to dh ending up on his X-wife's couch one night, then maybe it's escalate to her bedroom. Then what? She'll end up stealing him back from you. It happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:None of that matters and none of you know her circumstances. Coming over during the day when her dh is suppose to be working is not right. She can come to pick up her son and then visit with him that way. She doesn't need to be inside of OP's home imo when she's not there. Her home is not a visiting site either. I assume she has her allotted time with her son.

I can see once or twice to bring something over to her son, BUT if this continues she should talk to DH.

It's not just OP's home, dingbat. It's Ethan's home, too. It's Ethan's dad's home, too. Those three people are a family, whether OP likes it or not.

It sounds like the ex-wife, ex-husband and son have a healthy and close relationship. That's wonderful! Now, if they were going up to Ethan's room together to sit on the bed and chat, that would be one thing. But they are not. They are *standing in a hallway.*

Shit for brains. Ethan and dad are family, ex is not. Plus it's her home too so she get's a say. Ethan isn't an adult so that rests on the homeowners who are OP and legal husband! It may be innocent, and he needed some stuff for school etc. If it becomes a habit OP and DH need to put a stop to it.

Let me break it down for you. A mother, a father and a child are ALWAYS a family. When divorce happens, the family lives in different households, but is still a family. When remarriage happens, the family is expanded to include step-parents and step-siblings, etc. A new nuclear family is also born, but it doesn't negate the original nuclear family.

OP gets *a say,* yes, but not THE say. If the dad and the son are OK with the ex-wife dropping by every now and then and having a brief, pleasant chat, that's fine.

Sounds like OP's husband is fine with it. OP needs to grow up.

Our exes are not part of our family in any form. Only the children are. it's not a stead fast rule obviously.

It must be when Ethan is home from school or something. OP needs to tell us more.

[Anonymous]

I think it's calculating and disrespectful as does OP. The house is her domain and the ex knows it. It's her little passive aggressive way of putting OP in her place by letting her know she can invade her personal space any time she pleases. She isn't dropping by when OP isn't there to avoid an awkward situation. She is doing it to foster a hostile situation. I doubt she is the type who ever feels awkward about such things.