Baby Now or Wait 2 Years?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not wait for school until all your kids are in school?

Op here. It's a very hard program to get into. I am eager to start my career now. I don't want to be 40 and in school. I will also have a greater salary, which means more money for childcare.

you are eager to star you career now so you can't have the baby. but in 7 years you will be eager to continue the career and will be raising three children! how do you plan to do that?

I don't understand why you are being so harsh to OP. Many, many women work while raising young children. Not all of us can be SAHMs. Op, don't post on here anymore. There is nothing but bitter women who hate career driven women, likely because they don't have the skills to have one.

[Anonymous]

OP, I think you are smart.

I'd lean toward getting pregnant the second year of your , so you deliver after you graduate. I think that timing is about perfect.

Your husband may change his mind about 3 kids -- you too -- once you get into the grind of working and having kids. Or, you may find it easy, and you can have a child at 34, 36 and 38. I had mine at 40, and it was no problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not wait for school until all your kids are in school?

Op here. It's a very hard program to get into. I am eager to start my career now. I don't want to be 40 and in school. I will also have a greater salary, which means more money for childcare.

Are you already accepted? For 2018? Seems early.[/quote

Op, sorry, I made a typo. I am starting in January 2018. It's a year round program, and I will be done in Fall of 2020.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Start now, especially if you want 2-3. I'm surprised as a nurse that you aren't informed about fertility.

Op here. I am well aware that it gets harder to have a child after 35, but many women do. As a nurse, I've seen many healthy pregnancies, with the moms being as old as 42. We are in a generation where many women are having their children later. Having a child after 35 increases risks, but every complications can happen with any age. I am not going to be scared into those statistics.

But the issue is not just the age for fertility and delivering a child, but the age for parenting a teenager, the age for grandparents dying, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not wait for school until all your kids are in school?

Op here. It's a very hard program to get into. I am eager to start my career now. I don't want to be 40 and in school. I will also have a greater salary, which means more money for childcare.

Are you already accepted? For 2018? Seems early.[/quote

Op, sorry, I made a typo. I am starting in January 2018. It's a year round program, and I will be done in Fall of 2020.

Op, sorry, I made a typo. I am starting in January ( technically Spring) 2018. It's a 2 year round program, and I will be done in fall of 2020. Also, you have to apply 6-12 months in advance just to get in. It's similar to pharmacy or med school, where you wait a year to start. I applied right when I started working as a nurse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I am fine with having 1 or 2 and adopting if needed. Like I previously stated, I am well aware of the risks, but they are greatly overblown. Women of any age can have complications. Yes, 35 and had increased risks, but it's not as bad as some of you are making seem. I'm in very good health, and I have worked with many women who have had children as late as their 40's. I've also had 3 sets of couple friend who started at 32-35, and had 2-3 in the span of 1.5 - 5 years. My closest friend had her children at 34 and got pregnant with her second at 8 months old. It can happen.

If you're willing to take this risk it's your prerogative. I was in excellent health, super-fit, with clockwork like cycles. Still took me 3 years and 2 miscarriages...plus tens of thousands of dollars of fertility treatments to have my first. And another miscarriage and fertility treatments to have my second.

There's no indication that our issues were age-related, but the delay they caused (from wanting to have kids at 32 to not having my first until I was 36) made age an issue over time. I would personally recommend at least getting some baseline fertility testing done now to make sure there aren't any issues. I might go to an RE, because most OB's are clueless and sometimes downright dangerous with their misinformation about fertility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not wait for school until all your kids are in school?

Op here. It's a very hard program to get into. I am eager to start my career now. I don't want to be 40 and in school. I will also have a greater salary, which means more money for childcare.

you are eager to star you career now so you can't have the baby. but in 7 years you will be eager to continue the career and will be raising three children! how do you plan to do that?

I don't understand why you are being so harsh to OP. Many, many women work while raising young children. Not all of us can be SAHMs. Op, don't post on here anymore. There is nothing but bitter women who hate career driven women, likely because they don't have the skills to have one.

What are you talking about?? That wasn't "so harsh" at all...PP is asking a very valid question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Start now, especially if you want 2-3. I'm surprised as a nurse that you aren't informed about fertility.

Op here. I am well aware that it gets harder to have a child after 35, but many women do. As a nurse, I've seen many healthy pregnancies, with the moms being as old as 42. We are in a generation where many women are having their children later. Having a child after 35 increases risks, but every complications can happen with any age. I am not going to be scared into those statistics.

But the issue is not just the age for fertility and delivering a child, but the age for parenting a teenager, the age for grandparents dying, etc.

2 years doesn't change that equation much. I'm a 56 year old parent of a teenager. Yes, it's challenging at times. Still worth it. I'm like OP, and focused on my career when I was younger -- and having a ton of fun with DH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think you are smart.

I'd lean toward getting pregnant the second year of your , so you deliver after you graduate. I think that timing is about perfect.

Your husband may change his mind about 3 kids -- you too -- once you get into the grind of working and having kids. Or, you may find it easy, and you can have a child at 34, 36 and 38. I had mine at 40, and it was no problem.

+1. Forget all of these haters on here. It's your life, you need to do what's best for you. I agree getting pregnant in the second years sound like a good compromise. Don't listen to the negativity. Many women ( and men) work and go to school while planning for children. Couples are waiting longer than ever to start a family. Do what makes sense for you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not wait for school until all your kids are in school?

Op here. It's a very hard program to get into. I am eager to start my career now. I don't want to be 40 and in school. I will also have a greater salary, which means more money for childcare.

you are eager to star you career now so you can't have the baby. but in 7 years you will be eager to continue the career and will be raising three children! how do you plan to do that?

I don't understand why you are being so harsh to OP. Many, many women work while raising young children. Not all of us can be SAHMs. Op, don't post on here anymore. There is nothing but bitter women who hate career driven women, likely because they don't have the skills to have one.

ummm, thanks. i am working and raising children. the point is not that that is no possible. but the point is that this is not any easier than having a baby while going to school! if you claim that you can't go to some harsh program (puh-lease, it's nursing) and having one baby because "she doesn't like leaving the baby with the nanny and her husband works 50 hours a week while trying to become partner" how is she going to raise three (3!!) children (who are going to be born in the span of 5 years) and pursue her career with a husband who is a law firm partner?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not wait for school until all your kids are in school?

Op here. It's a very hard program to get into. I am eager to start my career now. I don't want to be 40 and in school. I will also have a greater salary, which means more money for childcare.

you are eager to star you career now so you can't have the baby. but in 7 years you will be eager to continue the career and will be raising three children! how do you plan to do that?

I don't understand why you are being so harsh to OP. Many, many women work while raising young children. Not all of us can be SAHMs. Op, don't post on here anymore. There is nothing but bitter women who hate career driven women, likely because they don't have the skills to have one.

ummm, thanks. i am working and raising children. the point is not that that is no possible. but the point is that this is not any easier than having a baby while going to school! if you claim that you can't go to some harsh program (puh-lease, it's nursing) and having one baby because "she doesn't like leaving the baby with the nanny and her husband works 50 hours a week while trying to become partner" how is she going to raise three (3!!) children (who are going to be born in the span of 5 years) and pursue her career with a husband who is a law firm partner?

You're incredibly rude. As someone who works among nurses, how dare you dismiss them with " puh-lease, it's nursing". Nursing is a lot harder than you thimk. CRNA is very difficult. They basically are assistants to anesthesiologists, and often stand in for anesthesiologist. Plesee do some research before you belittle a profession that helps save countless lives each year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to diagnose that OP does not want to get pregnant at all and is feeling immense pressure from DH.

OP, someone asked you questions about your DH. Is he an involved guy? Will he be the default parent? (Though truth be told you have no way to know for sure until you see him in action.) Do you have plenty of money?

With the way you are feeling, the above questions are critical and it's difficult to give advice without it.

Op here. I definitely want kids. I've always wanted to be a mother. I answered in another post that my DH is involved, but works 50 hours a week. We can afford outside care, but I worry about leaving a young baby with a babysitter. I start my program fall 2018, so I will have a very young baby if I get pregnant now. My other thought was to get pregnant at 34 while in my second year, and deliver baby around graduation time. That will leave me with 1-2 years to build up my new career before trying for a second baby.

I am sorry if I come across as a know it all. I asked because I was hoping to get first hand accounts of personal situations where you guys had similar situations, and how it worked out. That's really my main question. If having a child while working and going to school is reasonable? I know the risks after 35, and was a little annoyed by the snarky " you should know because you're a nurse" comments. I am aware of the risks, but that's not my question. My question, to moms who have had children, is will it be easier to wait until after school to start a family. I am feeling pressured by my DH and family to have a baby now.

Waiting one year to get pregnant is reasonable. Just do that. Worry about the future job, additional kids, etc, later. Just see how the 1 baby goes.

[Anonymous]

OP, do the program. You can try to get pregnant 9 months before graduating. You will be better off in the long term.

At 35, I handed in my final PhD revisions the morning I went into labor (and I worked full time during the program). I got pregnant on the first try (I did track ovulation for two months prior).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not wait for school until all your kids are in school?

Op here. It's a very hard program to get into. I am eager to start my career now. I don't want to be 40 and in school. I will also have a greater salary, which means more money for childcare.

you are eager to star you career now so you can't have the baby. but in 7 years you will be eager to continue the career and will be raising three children! how do you plan to do that?

I don't understand why you are being so harsh to OP. Many, many women work while raising young children. Not all of us can be SAHMs. Op, don't post on here anymore. There is nothing but bitter women who hate career driven women, likely because they don't have the skills to have one.

ummm, thanks. i am working and raising children. the point is not that that is no possible. but the point is that this is not any easier than having a baby while going to school! if you claim that you can't go to some harsh program (puh-lease, it's nursing) and having one baby because "she doesn't like leaving the baby with the nanny and her husband works 50 hours a week while trying to become partner" how is she going to raise three (3!!) children (who are going to be born in the span of 5 years) and pursue her career with a husband who is a law firm partner?

You're incredibly rude. As someone who works among nurses, how dare you dismiss them with " puh-lease, it's nursing". Nursing is a lot harder than you thimk. CRNA is very difficult. They basically are assistants to anesthesiologists, and often stand in for anesthesiologist. Plesee do some research before you belittle a profession that helps save countless lives each year.

+1. I wonder what pp does that she thinks nursing and a CRNA program isn't hard. Please enlighten on us!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not wait for school until all your kids are in school?

Op here. It's a very hard program to get into. I am eager to start my career now. I don't want to be 40 and in school. I will also have a greater salary, which means more money for childcare.

you are eager to star you career now so you can't have the baby. but in 7 years you will be eager to continue the career and will be raising three children! how do you plan to do that?

I don't understand why you are being so harsh to OP. Many, many women work while raising young children. Not all of us can be SAHMs. Op, don't post on here anymore. There is nothing but bitter women who hate career driven women, likely because they don't have the skills to have one.

ummm, thanks. i am working and raising children. the point is not that that is no possible. but the point is that this is not any easier than having a baby while going to school! if you claim that you can't go to some harsh program (puh-lease, it's nursing) and having one baby because "she doesn't like leaving the baby with the nanny and her husband works 50 hours a week while trying to become partner" how is she going to raise three (3!!) children (who are going to be born in the span of 5 years) and pursue her career with a husband who is a law firm partner?

Slow clap for you pp for working and raising children. You are like almost every other parent. Your snarky attitude towards a profession is uncalled for. Unless you are a nurse, you don't know what it's like, or how hard of a program it may be.