Baby Now or Wait 2 Years?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not wait for school until all your kids are in school?

Op here. It's a very hard program to get into. I am eager to start my career now. I don't want to be 40 and in school. I will also have a greater salary, which means more money for childcare.

you are eager to star you career now so you can't have the baby. but in 7 years you will be eager to continue the career and will be raising three children! how do you plan to do that?

I don't understand why you are being so harsh to OP. Many, many women work while raising young children. Not all of us can be SAHMs. Op, don't post on here anymore. There is nothing but bitter women who hate career driven women, likely because they don't have the skills to have one.

ummm, thanks. i am working and raising children. the point is not that that is no possible. but the point is that this is not any easier than having a baby while going to school! if you claim that you can't go to some harsh program (puh-lease, it's nursing) and having one baby because "she doesn't like leaving the baby with the nanny and her husband works 50 hours a week while trying to become partner" how is she going to raise three (3!!) children (who are going to be born in the span of 5 years) and pursue her career with a husband who is a law firm partner?

Slow clap for you pp for working and raising children. You are like almost every other parent. Your snarky attitude towards a profession is uncalled for. Unless you are a nurse, you don't know what it's like, or how hard of a program it may be.

Honestly PP has a point though. OP keeps talking like the fact that her DH works 50 hour weeks is exceptional and will make it impossible...but he's trying to make partner, she HAS to know that's only going to continue/get worse, right? Ditto with her concerns about leaving the baby(babies...) with a childcare provider - how is the need for that going to change at all in 2 years? If she's so into this career then she will be working, right?

[Anonymous]

OP's problems arise from the fact that this is her second career but she wants pursue it like it's her first - to focus properly on coursework etc, just like other students. but, she is not like other students, she is several years (it seems like 5 or so) behind them. that introduces significant problems into her planning. the other problem is that she wants to have 3 kids in five year. that's basically five years of pregnancies, babies and toddlerhood all while pursuing a career that means so much to her. at 32 she doesn't feel ready to have a baby but in just a few years she thinks she will be ready for work, pregnancy, baby and toddler all happening at once.

[Anonymous]

OP, I think it sounds like you know what you want. None of us can know the future and you just have to weigh the risks and benefits. As my mom would say, there is no right or wrong decision, just decisions you have to live with.

I had my child in my last year of school because of family history of infertility. I wasn't that old but I knew if I couldn't have a child due to waiting too long I would regret that more than if I had a so-so career. Luckily, I got pregnant easily, and my program gave me flexibility and "cover." But I wasn't able to "lean in" to my career at a key moment right after graduation and be the kind of parent I wanted, and that knocked me from plan A to plan B. Timing matters for school, work, and family...just have your eyes open and think about what matters most in your own long term vision for your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not wait for school until all your kids are in school?

Op here. It's a very hard program to get into. I am eager to start my career now. I don't want to be 40 and in school. I will also have a greater salary, which means more money for childcare.

you are eager to star you career now so you can't have the baby. but in 7 years you will be eager to continue the career and will be raising three children! how do you plan to do that?

I don't understand why you are being so harsh to OP. Many, many women work while raising young children. Not all of us can be SAHMs. Op, don't post on here anymore. There is nothing but bitter women who hate career driven women, likely because they don't have the skills to have one.

ummm, thanks. i am working and raising children. the point is not that that is no possible. but the point is that this is not any easier than having a baby while going to school! if you claim that you can't go to some harsh program (puh-lease, it's nursing) and having one baby because "she doesn't like leaving the baby with the nanny and her husband works 50 hours a week while trying to become partner" how is she going to raise three (3!!) children (who are going to be born in the span of 5 years) and pursue her career with a husband who is a law firm partner?

Slow clap for you pp for working and raising children. You are like almost every other parent. Your snarky attitude towards a profession is uncalled for. Unless you are a nurse, you don't know what it's like, or how hard of a program it may be.

Honestly PP has a point though. OP keeps talking like the fact that her DH works 50 hour weeks is exceptional and will make it impossible...but he's trying to make partner, she HAS to know that's only going to continue/get worse, right? Ditto with her concerns about leaving the baby(babies...) with a childcare provider - how is the need for that going to change at all in 2 years? If she's so into this career then she will be working, right?

My problem is with her belittling a profession she likely doesn't knows anything about. I come from a long line nurses, and it's hard work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP's problems arise from the fact that this is her second career but she wants pursue it like it's her first - to focus properly on coursework etc, just like other students. but, she is not like other students, she is several years (it seems like 5 or so) behind them. that introduces significant problems into her planning. the other problem is that she wants to have 3 kids in five year. that's basically five years of pregnancies, babies and toddlerhood all while pursuing a career that means so much to her. at 32 she doesn't feel ready to have a baby but in just a few years she thinks she will be ready for work, pregnancy, baby and toddler all happening at once.

Not Op but many people change professions all of time. Why are you focusing on criticizing her for it? When I was in my MBA program at 26, most of my peers were 30+. Was their age a reason to look down or criticize them? No! Everyone had their own walk of life. I applaud Op for leaving her last job to pursue her career. It's never too late.

Start to learn to nicer. Mean women raise mean kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP's problems arise from the fact that this is her second career but she wants pursue it like it's her first - to focus properly on coursework etc, just like other students. but, she is not like other students, she is several years (it seems like 5 or so) behind them. that introduces significant problems into her planning. the other problem is that she wants to have 3 kids in five year. that's basically five years of pregnancies, babies and toddlerhood all while pursuing a career that means so much to her. at 32 she doesn't feel ready to have a baby but in just a few years she thinks she will be ready for work, pregnancy, baby and toddler all happening at once.

Not Op but many people change professions all of time. Why are you focusing on criticizing her for it? When I was in my MBA program at 26, most of my peers were 30+. Was their age a reason to look down or criticize them? No! Everyone had their own walk of life. I applaud Op for leaving her last job to pursue her career. It's never too late.

Start to learn to nicer. Mean women raise mean kids.

And what is it to you whether she wants to have 3 kids in 5 years? You can not be ready at 32 and be ready by 34 for kids. It's not unheard of. She is smart to get school out of the way. Some of you have a strong case of superiority complex. My cousin is a nurse. She is currently back in school to be a nursing instructor while raising 2 under 2 and a teenager. She is 36 and most of her peers are the same age. There are many people going back to school in grad programs or for an advanced degree that are 30+. The oldest in my MBA class was a 56 year old dad. Instead of judging, motivate others. It will get you father in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP's problems arise from the fact that this is her second career but she wants pursue it like it's her first - to focus properly on coursework etc, just like other students. but, she is not like other students, she is several years (it seems like 5 or so) behind them. that introduces significant problems into her planning. the other problem is that she wants to have 3 kids in five year. that's basically five years of pregnancies, babies and toddlerhood all while pursuing a career that means so much to her. at 32 she doesn't feel ready to have a baby but in just a few years she thinks she will be ready for work, pregnancy, baby and toddler all happening at once.

Not Op but many people change professions all of time. Why are you focusing on criticizing her for it? When I was in my MBA program at 26, most of my peers were 30+. Was their age a reason to look down or criticize them? No! Everyone had their own walk of life. I applaud Op for leaving her last job to pursue her career. It's never too late.

Start to learn to nicer. Mean women raise mean kids.

nobody is criticizing it, I am just explaining how changing careers brings additional problems that OP doesn't seem to be acknowledging. she simply assumes that somehow, at some later date, she will be able to manage 3 kids under five, a career and a husband who is a law partner. but at this particular point she can't handle a single baby because her husband works too much and she can't leave the baby with the nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not wait for school until all your kids are in school?

Op here. It's a very hard program to get into. I am eager to start my career now. I don't want to be 40 and in school. I will also have a greater salary, which means more money for childcare.

you are eager to star you career now so you can't have the baby. but in 7 years you will be eager to continue the career and will be raising three children! how do you plan to do that?

I don't understand why you are being so harsh to OP. Many, many women work while raising young children. Not all of us can be SAHMs. Op, don't post on here anymore. There is nothing but bitter women who hate career driven women, likely because they don't have the skills to have one.

ummm, thanks. i am working and raising children. the point is not that that is no possible. but the point is that this is not any easier than having a baby while going to school! if you claim that you can't go to some harsh program (puh-lease, it's nursing) and having one baby because "she doesn't like leaving the baby with the nanny and her husband works 50 hours a week while trying to become partner" how is she going to raise three (3!!) children (who are going to be born in the span of 5 years) and pursue her career with a husband who is a law firm partner?

Slow clap for you pp for working and raising children. You are like almost every other parent. Your snarky attitude towards a profession is uncalled for. Unless you are a nurse, you don't know what it's like, or how hard of a program it may be.

Honestly PP has a point though. OP keeps talking like the fact that her DH works 50 hour weeks is exceptional and will make it impossible...but he's trying to make partner, she HAS to know that's only going to continue/get worse, right? Ditto with her concerns about leaving the baby(babies...) with a childcare provider - how is the need for that going to change at all in 2 years? If she's so into this career then she will be working, right?

My problem is with her belittling a profession she likely doesn't knows anything about. I come from a long line nurses, and it's hard work.

i don't know much about nursing but i do know this: when you have a total garbage if a paper that you can't publish anywhere, send it to a nursing journal. they have very high standards

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not wait for school until all your kids are in school?

Op here. It's a very hard program to get into. I am eager to start my career now. I don't want to be 40 and in school. I will also have a greater salary, which means more money for childcare.

you are eager to star you career now so you can't have the baby. but in 7 years you will be eager to continue the career and will be raising three children! how do you plan to do that?

I don't understand why you are being so harsh to OP. Many, many women work while raising young children. Not all of us can be SAHMs. Op, don't post on here anymore. There is nothing but bitter women who hate career driven women, likely because they don't have the skills to have one.

ummm, thanks. i am working and raising children. the point is not that that is no possible. but the point is that this is not any easier than having a baby while going to school! if you claim that you can't go to some harsh program (puh-lease, it's nursing) and having one baby because "she doesn't like leaving the baby with the nanny and her husband works 50 hours a week while trying to become partner" how is she going to raise three (3!!) children (who are going to be born in the span of 5 years) and pursue her career with a husband who is a law firm partner?

Slow clap for you pp for working and raising children. You are like almost every other parent. Your snarky attitude towards a profession is uncalled for. Unless you are a nurse, you don't know what it's like, or how hard of a program it may be.

Honestly PP has a point though. OP keeps talking like the fact that her DH works 50 hour weeks is exceptional and will make it impossible...but he's trying to make partner, she HAS to know that's only going to continue/get worse, right? Ditto with her concerns about leaving the baby(babies...) with a childcare provider - how is the need for that going to change at all in 2 years? If she's so into this career then she will be working, right?

My problem is with her belittling a profession she likely doesn't knows anything about. I come from a long line nurses, and it's hard work.

I don't think she is as much criticizing the profession as she is saying hm, I'm not sure that doing this while you're trying to start out working in that field is going to be much easier than doing it while you're in school...
Either way I agree the dig wasn't nice

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP's problems arise from the fact that this is her second career but she wants pursue it like it's her first - to focus properly on coursework etc, just like other students. but, she is not like other students, she is several years (it seems like 5 or so) behind them. that introduces significant problems into her planning. the other problem is that she wants to have 3 kids in five year. that's basically five years of pregnancies, babies and toddlerhood all while pursuing a career that means so much to her. at 32 she doesn't feel ready to have a baby but in just a few years she thinks she will be ready for work, pregnancy, baby and toddler all happening at once.

Not Op but many people change professions all of time. Why are you focusing on criticizing her for it? When I was in my MBA program at 26, most of my peers were 30+. Was their age a reason to look down or criticize them? No! Everyone had their own walk of life. I applaud Op for leaving her last job to pursue her career. It's never too late.

Start to learn to nicer. Mean women raise mean kids.

And what is it to you whether she wants to have 3 kids in 5 years? You can not be ready at 32 and be ready by 34 for kids. It's not unheard of. She is smart to get school out of the way. Some of you have a strong case of superiority complex. My cousin is a nurse. She is currently back in school to be a nursing instructor while raising 2 under 2 and a teenager. She is 36 and most of her peers are the same age. There are many people going back to school in grad programs or for an advanced degree that are 30+. The oldest in my MBA class was a 56 year old dad. Instead of judging, motivate others. It will get you father in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP's problems arise from the fact that this is her second career but she wants pursue it like it's her first - to focus properly on coursework etc, just like other students. but, she is not like other students, she is several years (it seems like 5 or so) behind them. that introduces significant problems into her planning. the other problem is that she wants to have 3 kids in five year. that's basically five years of pregnancies, babies and toddlerhood all while pursuing a career that means so much to her. at 32 she doesn't feel ready to have a baby but in just a few years she thinks she will be ready for work, pregnancy, baby and toddler all happening at once.

Not Op but many people change professions all of time. Why are you focusing on criticizing her for it? When I was in my MBA program at 26, most of my peers were 30+. Was their age a reason to look down or criticize them? No! Everyone had their own walk of life. I applaud Op for leaving her last job to pursue her career. It's never too late.

Start to learn to nicer. Mean women raise mean kids.

and what is to you to prove that OP has a sensible view of her future?

nobody really cares what OP does. we are just mulling over her situation.


And what is it to you whether she wants to have 3 kids in 5 years? You can not be ready at 32 and be ready by 34 for kids. It's not unheard of. She is smart to get school out of the way. Some of you have a strong case of superiority complex. My cousin is a nurse. She is currently back in school to be a nursing instructor while raising 2 under 2 and a teenager. She is 36 and most of her peers are the same age. There are many people going back to school in grad programs or for an advanced degree that are 30+. The oldest in my MBA class was a 56 year old dad. Instead of judging, motivate others. It will get you father in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Start now, especially if you want 2-3. I'm surprised as a nurse that you aren't informed about fertility.

Op here. I am well aware that it gets harder to have a child after 35, but many women do. As a nurse, I've seen many healthy pregnancies, with the moms being as old as 42. We are in a generation where many women are having their children later. Having a child after 35 increases risks, but every complications can happen with any age. I am not going to be scared into those statistics.

Perhaps you aren't ready or actually do not want kids. It's worth maybe speaking to a therapist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not wait for school until all your kids are in school?

Op here. It's a very hard program to get into. I am eager to start my career now. I don't want to be 40 and in school. I will also have a greater salary, which means more money for childcare.

you are eager to star you career now so you can't have the baby. but in 7 years you will be eager to continue the career and will be raising three children! how do you plan to do that?

I don't understand why you are being so harsh to OP. Many, many women work while raising young children. Not all of us can be SAHMs. Op, don't post on here anymore. There is nothing but bitter women who hate career driven women, likely because they don't have the skills to have one.

ummm, thanks. i am working and raising children. the point is not that that is no possible. but the point is that this is not any easier than having a baby while going to school! if you claim that you can't go to some harsh program (puh-lease, it's nursing) and having one baby because "she doesn't like leaving the baby with the nanny and her husband works 50 hours a week while trying to become partner" how is she going to raise three (3!!) children (who are going to be born in the span of 5 years) and pursue her career with a husband who is a law firm partner?

Slow clap for you pp for working and raising children. You are like almost every other parent. Your snarky attitude towards a profession is uncalled for. Unless you are a nurse, you don't know what it's like, or how hard of a program it may be.

Honestly PP has a point though. OP keeps talking like the fact that her DH works 50 hour weeks is exceptional and will make it impossible...but he's trying to make partner, she HAS to know that's only going to continue/get worse, right? Ditto with her concerns about leaving the baby(babies...) with a childcare provider - how is the need for that going to change at all in 2 years? If she's so into this career then she will be working, right?

My problem is with her belittling a profession she likely doesn't knows anything about. I come from a long line nurses, and it's hard work.

I don't think she is as much criticizing the profession as she is saying hm, I'm not sure that doing this while you're trying to start out working in that field is going to be much easier than doing it while you're in school...
Either way I agree the dig wasn't nice

" if you claim that you can't go to some harsh program (puh-lease, it's nursing)". That is the definition of belittling a professsion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not wait for school until all your kids are in school?

Op here. It's a very hard program to get into. I am eager to start my career now. I don't want to be 40 and in school. I will also have a greater salary, which means more money for childcare.

you are eager to star you career now so you can't have the baby. but in 7 years you will be eager to continue the career and will be raising three children! how do you plan to do that?

I don't understand why you are being so harsh to OP. Many, many women work while raising young children. Not all of us can be SAHMs. Op, don't post on here anymore. There is nothing but bitter women who hate career driven women, likely because they don't have the skills to have one.

ummm, thanks. i am working and raising children. the point is not that that is no possible. but the point is that this is not any easier than having a baby while going to school! if you claim that you can't go to some harsh program (puh-lease, it's nursing) and having one baby because "she doesn't like leaving the baby with the nanny and her husband works 50 hours a week while trying to become partner" how is she going to raise three (3!!) children (who are going to be born in the span of 5 years) and pursue her career with a husband who is a law firm partner?

Slow clap for you pp for working and raising children. You are like almost every other parent. Your snarky attitude towards a profession is uncalled for. Unless you are a nurse, you don't know what it's like, or how hard of a program it may be.

Honestly PP has a point though. OP keeps talking like the fact that her DH works 50 hour weeks is exceptional and will make it impossible...but he's trying to make partner, she HAS to know that's only going to continue/get worse, right? Ditto with her concerns about leaving the baby(babies...) with a childcare provider - how is the need for that going to change at all in 2 years? If she's so into this career then she will be working, right?

My problem is with her belittling a profession she likely doesn't knows anything about. I come from a long line nurses, and it's hard work.

I don't think she is as much criticizing the profession as she is saying hm, I'm not sure that doing this while you're trying to start out working in that field is going to be much easier than doing it while you're in school...
Either way I agree the dig wasn't nice

" if you claim that you can't go to some harsh program (puh-lease, it's nursing)". That is the definition of belittling a professsion.

it was a side-point. you clearly have trouble distinguishing relevant from irrelevant. but since you insist - yeah, smart people don't go to nursing. maybe they should but they don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Start now, especially if you want 2-3. I'm surprised as a nurse that you aren't informed about fertility.

Op here. I am well aware that it gets harder to have a child after 35, but many women do. As a nurse, I've seen many healthy pregnancies, with the moms being as old as 42. We are in a generation where many women are having their children later. Having a child after 35 increases risks, but every complications can happen with any age. I am not going to be scared into those statistics.

Perhaps you aren't ready or actually do not want kids. It's worth maybe speaking to a therapist.

Op here. Thank you for all of the responses! I very much want to be a mother, but I think waiting until I finish school seems more reasonable. I think work, school, and a baby will be tough. I do agree with some of posters who said I need to talk to my DH and be on the same page. I think waiting a year and having a child around graduation will work better.

I am okay with two. My DH wants 3-4 but I am fine with 2, maybe 3. Who knows what he future holds.

To the other poster who rudely dismissed my profession as not being hard. CRNA is very similiar to becoming an anesthesiologists. It's difficult, but we all have our own opinions. It's likely you're just ignorant because you don't know anything about the job.

To the other poster - I am set back because I had another career, but who cares? Some people change professions several times over a lifetime. There is nothing wrong with me deciding my past career was not for me, and pursuing something I'm passionate about.