Found out wife was having an affair

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you think it's a fling, or primarily sexual? Or does there seem to be an emotional component as well?

Not this pp, but these are good questions.

MHO, if it's not your baby, ditch ASAP. Be kind and take the high road. Stress isn't good for the baby, even if if isn't yours.

If it's your baby. Do you love her? Obviously, you can't trust her right now, but love and trust and a lot of other components Uma marriage can ebb and flow. I have two sets of married friends who have weathered storms. I'm a DW and both of the DWs cheated. One couple had kids and the other didn't. Both couples went to counseling and. Oth now have better marriages. This blew my mind a bit in the beginning, but now I'm very proud of how everyone focused on the future and forgiveness and making amends and maturity and love, etc.

Gauge based on many things whether you think this is some effed up way could strengthen your marriage Lin-term. If I were you AND it was in fact my kid and she is mortified and wants to try and she's sane and kind and wonderful otherwise, I'd find a really good therapist and invest in my family.

Huge hugs! And get tested for STDs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell her to shut her cock holster and listen for a minute. This is how it's gonna be. You are moving out tonight. I will continue to support you in any way that I can as far as the baby is concerned. We are getting a paternity test as soon as it can be done. Our marriage is over but I understand that we have to figure out how to coparent together. I need some time to figure that out. Until then, you need to leave. Then don't say another word no matter what she says

Please don't give stupid advice. If it's a marital home, he cannot kick her out or order her to leave. He is free to move out himself, temporarily or permanently, but a spouse cannot be made to leave a marital home until arrangements are finalized via a formal separation or divorce.

[Anonymous]

Probably not even your kid. At least you should hope not. Easier to get away from her if it is. Reboot, start over

This marriage is finished though

[Anonymous]

Go to survivinginfedelity.com. It has forum for people in your exact same situation . They can really help you because they have been there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lot's of us have been through this. I'm a woman and many years ago I stupidly moved my fiancee in. He led me on at a age where it should be criminal because I was planning on having kids etc. with him. Obviously I was just a stepping stone plus I didn't realize he was saving tons of money because he was renting his home. Soon I started paying more attention, and the time from work to home showed a big gap. Right away I checked on him and sure enough he was seeing someone all along. Thankfully I had some good friends and didn't say anything to him. Finally I told him we were through because I knew he was cheating on me. He just smirked like it was no big deal and then I told him all his stuff was in the garage. I had also changed the locks to the house. He still didn't care and said no problem with a smirk on his face. At this point I was super sweet and nice, and informed him the court would be notifying him concerning his responsibilities for child birth costs, insurance, and child support. I swear his face went from a smirk to almost white. It was a Kodak moment to be sure. My situation turned out great because I moved on and ended up in a great marriage. OP cut your losses and it will all be fine. Good luck.

Knocked up while shacking up. Klassy.

[Anonymous]

Trolly troll.

[Anonymous]

Sorry Op. cheating doesn't automatically =divorce.
Don't be rash in any decision you make.

[Anonymous]

Many men would not mess around w/a pregnant woman so my guess is this isn't your child.

Sorry.

[Anonymous]

OP this wouldn't have happened if you had a bigger penis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP this wouldn't have happened if you had a bigger penis.

you're ridiculous, troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Screenshot the evidence and email to yourself save the email and print a copy.

Go see a lawyer today. Make sure you now rights and responsibilities of a husband towards a child born n the marriage.

MD isn't the only state with effed up paternity laws.

What is the deal with all the people saying that OP needs to collect all of this evidence? Will he get more of her money when he divorces?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Screenshot the evidence and email to yourself save the email and print a copy.

Go see a lawyer today. Make sure you now rights and responsibilities of a husband towards a child born n the marriage.

MD isn't the only state with effed up paternity laws.

What is the deal with all the people saying that OP needs to collect all of this evidence? Will he get more of her money when he divorces?

Cheaters often deny the affair when you confront them. My cheating spouse told me many, many lies. I'm glad I saved evidence and journaled everything or his gaslighting would have made me doubt my own memory and impressions and would have made me crazy. Keeping the evidence allowed me to finally piece together the puzzle of what was really happening. Had I not uncovered the whole truth, I might have been inclined to 50/50 custody, but once I understood that the cheating was reflective of some pretty deep pathology, I insisted on full custody with only daytime visits for him. Since, I had extensive evidence on his behaviour, evidence hevwouldn't have wanted me to share with others, he did not fight me either on custody nor on being the one to leave the house.

What I learned from the experience is that people who tell such big lies, don't change and continue to lie about other stuff. I continue to joirnal his behaviour and frequently refer back to notes and records when he lies or goes back on his word.

Unless you've been there, I think it's hard to understand the crazy-making effect of living in contact with someone who is a frequent liar.

[Anonymous]

Sorry you are dealing with this OP.

I would suggest you take a look at www.survivinginfidelity.com. There is a just found out forum that is all people in your situation. Worth reading some threads and even posting if you want. The site looks like it was designed by middle school girls but the content can be pretty helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Obviously her needs we're not being met. Take some time to self analyze why you couldn't meet her needs

She was probably doing things with AP that she would not do with DH . Women are like that. probably blowjobs all the time and her taking it up the bum hole

Get out now

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Screenshot the evidence and email to yourself save the email and print a copy.

Go see a lawyer today. Make sure you now rights and responsibilities of a husband towards a child born n the marriage.

MD isn't the only state with effed up paternity laws.

What is the deal with all the people saying that OP needs to collect all of this evidence? Will he get more of her money when he divorces?

It will give him grounds to file for separation, which he might need to prevent being forced to pay child support if the kid isn't his.

It might save him money in child support and build a case for a paternity test