Found out wife was having an affair

[Anonymous]

Have you gained weight or cut your hair off?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell her to shut her cock holster and listen for a minute. This is how it's gonna be. You are moving out tonight. I will continue to support you in any way that I can as far as the baby is concerned. We are getting a paternity test as soon as it can be done. Our marriage is over but I understand that we have to figure out how to coparent together. I need some time to figure that out. Until then, you need to leave. Then don't say another word no matter what she says

Dude. Why does it seem like you're living out some sort of fantasy by giving this advice? OP, its fine to tell her that you need space to think this through and she clearly needs to be the one to leave. Be careful of who you tell because once told, it can never be untold. I mean, don't go telling your parents or siblings unless you are positive that you can't stay married to your wife. No judgement here. If you need the marriage to end, that's reasonable, but until the initial shock of this wears off, you have to admit that you aren't thinking 100% clearly.

[Anonymous]

She's a whore. Move on and pray the kid isn't yours

[Anonymous]

dont text her, it will give her time to think. If you confront her do it face to face. Did the evidence suggest they have been seeing each other?

[Anonymous]

Don't forget to eat.

Don't drink alcohol or smoke for a while if you do either of those.

Stay hydrated and fed. Exercise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah tell me about it. The question is do I even confront her, or just go to a lawyer and get papers written up, and serve them to her.

I would go to a lawyer or two and get advice. This may seem counterintuitive but now is the time to be objective and factual. Is the kids yours ? What will child support be ? How will you divide up assets when you divorce. Do you you want custody etc.
focus on the future

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just found out my wife was/is having an affair, and we have a kid on the way due in a couple months. Not sure what I am supposed to do at this point? confront her? Never dealt with anything like this before. Just feeling really crappy.

Go talk to a lawyer, stat. Whatever you decide to do or not do, you need good, objective advice about what your options are. I wouldn't do anything other than continue to gather information without letting her know and consulting a lawyer. The combination of an affair plus pregnancy means you need to be very careful in order to protect your interests.

[Anonymous]

Disagree with the texting advice. Best to confront face to face and not to show your cards. Tell her you know what's up and you have proof but you want to hear I from her.
She may play dumb. Don't budge and insist she tell you the truth. Once it comes out, ask:
How long?
How many times?
Is it still going on?
Do you even know who's baby you are carrying?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah tell me about it. The question is do I even confront her, or just go to a lawyer and get papers written up, and serve them to her.

You already have the proof. I would go to a lawyer and have her served. End it and no communication.

[Anonymous]

Once you tip someone off you are giving them ample time to erase or hide other evidence. I would say continue to check on her and document as much as possible. In other words stack your deck as much as possible. See what the laws are in your state and then weigh everything where you'll come out in a better position. Meanwhile don't let on you know as hard as that is...

[Anonymous]

I know you are in shock right now and you are angry and feel really betrayed. And you have every reason to feel this way. What she did was terrible. But you absolutely need to talk to her. Don't make any rash decisions. This might just be the worst mistake that she has ever made.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her to shut her cock holster and listen for a minute. This is how it's gonna be. You are moving out tonight. I will continue to support you in any way that I can as far as the baby is concerned. We are getting a paternity test as soon as it can be done. Our marriage is over but I understand that we have to figure out how to coparent together. I need some time to figure that out. Until then, you need to leave. Then don't say another word no matter what she says

Dude. Why does it seem like you're living out some sort of fantasy by giving this advice? OP, its fine to tell her that you need space to think this through and she clearly needs to be the one to leave. Be careful of who you tell because once told, it can never be untold. I mean, don't go telling your parents or siblings unless you are positive that you can't stay married to your wife. No judgement here. If you need the marriage to end, that's reasonable, but until the initial shock of this wears off, you have to admit that you aren't thinking 100% clearly.

Never tell anyone that stuff. Yes he needs to get advice but only to get out of the marriage in the best way possible.

He'll be fine and if it's his kid he can get joint custody. Down the road find a partner that will be better and help raise his child. Life goes on, but he doesn't want to ruin his life being stuck with a cheater.

[Anonymous]

Sorry Op. st least you are learning what a wife your wife is now. Get a lawyer and demand a paternity test.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Once you tip someone off you are giving them ample time to erase or hide other evidence. I would say continue to check on her and document as much as possible. In other words stack your deck as much as possible. See what the laws are in your state and then weigh everything where you'll come out in a better position. Meanwhile don't let on you know as hard as that is...

This. You are now in damage control mode.

[Anonymous]

Do you have other kids?