Found out wife was having an affair

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Disagree with the texting advice. Best to confront face to face and not to show your cards. Tell her you know what's up and you have proof but you want to hear I from her.
She may play dumb. Don't budge and insist she tell you the truth. Once it comes out, ask:
How long?
How many times?
Is it still going on?
Do you even know who's baby you are carrying?

This. Plus: "You'll need to have a paternity test. I obviously can't trust you, so I'll need proof."

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry OP. I remember finding some info that my husband had strayed and it is the worst feeling. You just want to crawl out of your own skin. Just know you're not alone.

[Anonymous]

She's visibly pregnant and currently having an affair? Or did she have an affair prior to being pregnant. I wonder if she knows its the other guys? I mean I would think most guys would not want to have an affair with a visibly pregnant woman if the baby is not theirs.

Also, may can get a private investigator who can help you get evidence?

Also, is there a non-invasive way to do a paternity test before the baby is born?

You don't want to burn bridges in case you are the bio father. Try your best to not go berserk on the wife.

[Anonymous]

Been there. Be smart, no games. Decide what you want her to do. If you want to split, get legal advice. Then confront. If you have kids already, realize that even if you divorce, you're still kinda married for years to come, so don't badmouthing mom in front of the kids.

[Anonymous]

Lot's of us have been through this. I'm a woman and many years ago I stupidly moved my fiancee in. He led me on at a age where it should be criminal because I was planning on having kids etc. with him. Obviously I was just a stepping stone plus I didn't realize he was saving tons of money because he was renting his home. Soon I started paying more attention, and the time from work to home showed a big gap. Right away I checked on him and sure enough he was seeing someone all along. Thankfully I had some good friends and didn't say anything to him. Finally I told him we were through because I knew he was cheating on me. He just smirked like it was no big deal and then I told him all his stuff was in the garage. I had also changed the locks to the house. He still didn't care and said no problem with a smirk on his face. At this point I was super sweet and nice, and informed him the court would be notifying him concerning his responsibilities for child birth costs, insurance, and child support. I swear his face went from a smirk to almost white. It was a Kodak moment to be sure. My situation turned out great because I moved on and ended up in a great marriage. OP cut your losses and it will all be fine. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Seek competent legal counsel. Now. Once you have obtain legal advice, act on it.

If she is having an affair, she may be able to destroy physical evidence (e.g., letter, notes, etc.) but electronic evidence (e.g., texts, emails, exchange of photos) is almost impossible to destroy. Your attorney will be able to help you find a forensic investigator who can trace most anything she sent via her tablet, mobile phone, etc. if you need proof.

Do this quickly.

She may be more aware of what you know then you believe she does and she may not wait to take action. Remember, if she is cheating she has been able to hide it while acting like a loving wife pregnant with your child. She could hide assets, clean out accounts, give the boyfriend money while you stall and this can make getting those assets back impossible.

Waiting and wondering what to do is not going to help. Seek legal help now.

[Anonymous]

OP - what was the incriminating evidence that you found on her ipad?

Did you suspect anything before?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Been there. Be smart, no games. Decide what you want her to do. If you want to split, get legal advice. Then confront. If you have kids already, realize that even if you divorce, you're still kinda married for years to come, so don't badmouthing mom in front of the kids.

I see what you're saying but don't agree with kinda married for years to come especially with a cheater. We did very minimal talking to the ex. Kept the schedule the same and only a text/message if any changes.

[Anonymous]

What are you going to do, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What are you going to do, OP?

Be careful on this site, OP. It's great to have a place to anonymously vent, but it's also filled with drama addicts like PP here who love reading about your misery and bring their own agendas to the table. The formerly cheated on, the misogynists, the pot stirers, the reality show addicts, the bored, the contraians, the armchair lawyers and every so often someone he really feels for you and wants to offer genuine support and help. Hang in there. Take everything of value from this thread and trash the rest. Don't feel pressured by anonymous posters to take steps that you're not ready for. good luck.

[Anonymous]

Screenshot the evidence and email to yourself save the email and print a copy.

Go see a lawyer today. Make sure you now rights and responsibilities of a husband towards a child born n the marriage.

MD isn't the only state with effed up paternity laws.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are you going to do, OP?

Be careful on this site, OP. It's great to have a place to anonymously vent, but it's also filled with drama addicts like PP here who love reading about your misery and bring their own agendas to the table. The formerly cheated on, the misogynists, the pot stirers, the reality show addicts, the bored, the contraians, the armchair lawyers and every so often someone he really feels for you and wants to offer genuine support and help. Hang in there. Take everything of value from this thread and trash the rest. Don't feel pressured by anonymous posters to take steps that you're not ready for. good luck.

Or most are sharing their stories and outcomes whether they were good, bad, or ugly.

I would also say you're also an anon poster...lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry you're going through this OP. I agree with the pp about it being a sign of major issues that a bit of counseling won't fix. My therapist told me true transformation takes a lot of work (like years) and is very rare.

Were there issues in the past you ignored? There were so many red flags I looked past in my marriage. Once I really acknowledged those it was easier to see reality and start moving on.

What were the red flags?

[Anonymous]

Troll.

[Anonymous]

Do you think it's a fling, or primarily sexual? Or does there seem to be an emotional component as well?