My husband won't give me 1 day off

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go back to work op. Start looking for a daycare. If he won't give you a break, get a break that way.

Agree.

nEVER be a SAHM to an unappreciative slob absentee spouse.

[Anonymous]

Your whole problem is summed up in the title, "DH won't give me 1 day off." He is not your boss, why are you asking him for a day off. Quite frankly, when you(and many women like you) stop being subservient and act like you are needing permission from your husbands to do ANYTHING, only then women will start having equal rights. What is the first thing to do is not give a damn if he will be upset. "I am off to the movies, see you in a few," is a great start. Pray tell me when did he ask you if he can go to the movies or do something else without you? I bet you never. Changing your own mind set is difficult, not rocking the boat is easier. If your DH is emotionally and possibly physically abusive, you are in a worse situation. Nevertheless, you first have to change yourself, his power over you stems from you giving him that power. If you take off and not give a damn, he has nothing over you. If he is abusive, you need to leave, you need to start preparing for that situation and make it happen. Yes, it is scary and hard. But, if he is just a regular sexist jerk, you need to stop asking anybody's and his permission. Leave that baby with him and go out for the day, don't ask, don't apologize, if he doesn't take care of the baby and you come back home to a baby left alone and screaming, you need to leave that very minute and never look back. Seek a shelter, see a social worker right away. You need to be your own boss. It isn't easy but it is necessary. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Day off from what? You aren't working.

Taking care of a 7 month old baby IS working you smug bit**

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your whole problem is summed up in the title, "DH won't give me 1 day off." He is not your boss, why are you asking him for a day off. Quite frankly, when you(and many women like you) stop being subservient and act like you are needing permission from your husbands to do ANYTHING, only then women will start having equal rights. What is the first thing to do is not give a damn if he will be upset. "I am off to the movies, see you in a few," is a great start. Pray tell me when did he ask you if he can go to the movies or do something else without you? I bet you never. Changing your own mind set is difficult, not rocking the boat is easier. If your DH is emotionally and possibly physically abusive, you are in a worse situation. Nevertheless, you first have to change yourself, his power over you stems from you giving him that power. If you take off and not give a damn, he has nothing over you. If he is abusive, you need to leave, you need to start preparing for that situation and make it happen. Yes, it is scary and hard. But, if he is just a regular sexist jerk, you need to stop asking anybody's and his permission. Leave that baby with him and go out for the day, don't ask, don't apologize, if he doesn't take care of the baby and you come back home to a baby left alone and screaming, you need to leave that very minute and never look back. Seek a shelter, see a social worker right away. You need to be your own boss. It isn't easy but it is necessary. Good luck.

Op here: Thanks for this. You're so right. DH never asks me to go anywhere. It's hard to let go of guilt when my baby has a hard time adjusting to a babysitter. I spend too much time feeling worried about the baby when I am away. I am not worried when she's with my husband though because he's really good with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Day off from what? You aren't working.

Taking care of a 7 month old baby IS working you smug bit**

Seriously? I've done it. Billions of women have done it.

[Anonymous]

What were your marriage vows?

[Anonymous]

I've got two children four and under and one due in three months. I'm a SAHM and recently started having a sitter a couple of mornings a week so I can get some things done or just work out. Being a mom 24/7 is tough work. My DH is good with the kids in the evening and on weekends but he will never take both of them off my hands. I manage our finances and told my husband we could afford it even though I'm a huge saver.

[Anonymous]

Everyone, EVERYONE needs a break. Can you swap sitting with a friend or neighbor?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Day off from what? You aren't working.

Taking care of a 7 month old baby IS working you smug bit**

Seriously? I've done it. Billions of women have done it.

Maybe you not having a break is why you sound like such a mean jerk.

[Anonymous]

OP, you tell Daddy either he gets on board with parenting and helping or you will do it alone. And mean it.

THIS is what that stupid pussy hat march should have been about. THIS is what normal women face.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Day off from what? You aren't working.

Taking care of a 7 month old baby IS working you smug bit**

Seriously? I've done it. Billions of women have done it.

That doesn't mean it isn't work. Caring for two kids at home was SOOO much harder for me than work. Going to work was my break time, my adult time, my ME time. She's working HARD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, have you posted here before. I feel like I've heard this in the same voice.

+1. I've heard this several times before. People have given you great advice before, why haven't you taken any?

You're a weird troll who likes tossing out a variant on this question every so often or there are more women in your position you should go commiserate with. You have an idiosyncratic syntax due to being a non-native English speaker so...yeah, if you're real, listen to the good advice and get a clue. Your underlying problem hasn't changed.

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/593214.page
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/652817.page

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Day off from what? You aren't working.

Taking care of a 7 month old baby IS working you smug bit**

Seriously? I've done it. Billions of women have done it.

Most women also can go out to dinner with friends and leave their kid with husband or sitter. Or does your husband tell you that you can't get a sitter and he won't watch the kid too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your regular sitter is away? If you have a regular sitter then somebody somehow got a break. Our toddler is 3.5 and we both together have been away from him 6 hours in 3.5 years. One of us is always with him and he is a handful.
Put the kid in daycare.
I'd never dare to ask for a day off, but I did go to work opposite schedule of DH. Now he agrees that DC is more work than his work.

+1
I don't get it Op. You say you have a regular babysitter, who hapens to be away, so why do you make it sound like you haven't had a break in 7 mo?

And isn't your baby sttn by now? And napping 2x/day?
The 7 mo mark is a pretty sweet spot - super cute, sttn, nap 2x/day, still easily amused, and not yet mobile and nor into everything

[Anonymous]

He's an ass and you'll be divorced in five years. Why did you marry this man??