My husband won't give me 1 day off

[Anonymous]

How old is the baby? Also where do you live?

Your husband sucks. I'd be like you but get 1 day off a week with local family watching the baby. It's not possible to stay sane without a break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, have you posted here before. I feel like I've heard this in the same voice.

I posted on a Mothers day post. He said some pretty awful things to me that day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:for those of you with husbands like this, is it about the money? holy shit thats reason enough to not be a SAHM. I can't imagine my husband telling me I can't spend $30 on a sitter for my sanity. You need to get this DHs in line now, especially if you think you will have another child.it will only get 10,000 times harder.

It's a little bit of this and guilt. My baby has a hard time with strangers. And I want my husband to be more supportive. He sees that I am struggling but doesn't care. On Mother's Day he told Mother's Day is not important to him. My mom passed away a few years ago. He can be so insensitive.

Why did you marry this guy? This could not be new behavior.

What do you mean? Before the baby, he wasn't in school and we were both working.

[Anonymous]

OP here: My SIL gives herself a day off every few months and checks herself into a hotel. BIL is very supportive. I wish my husband could be like that. Whenever I want to do something myself he makes me feel bad. I wanted to go target by myself around 1 month postpartum and he looked at me like I had 2 heads.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: My SIL gives herself a day off every few months and checks herself into a hotel. BIL is very supportive. I wish my husband could be like that. Whenever I want to do something myself he makes me feel bad. I wanted to go target by myself around 1 month postpartum and he looked at me like I had 2 heads.

Why do you LET him make you feel bad? You should have gone to Target anyways. He would have gotten over it and you would have gotten a break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: My SIL gives herself a day off every few months and checks herself into a hotel. BIL is very supportive. I wish my husband could be like that. Whenever I want to do something myself he makes me feel bad. I wanted to go target by myself around 1 month postpartum and he looked at me like I had 2 heads.

Why do you LET him make you feel bad? You should have gone to Target anyways. He would have gotten over it and you would have gotten a break.

I did go and I've gone other places. I'm trying to give examples.

[Anonymous]

Stand up for yourself.
What you are communicating is not unreasonable. Children thrive when their primary caretakers meet their own needs first. It's hard to be objective when both parents are not communicating well.
If you think counseling would help, definitely pursue it,

[Anonymous]

Sounds like my life except I was a single mother. Hire a babysitter. You have a partner for a reason. If he cannot contribute, you spend money to get the help elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

I would hand him the baby and say seeya! I'll be back tomorrow.

[Anonymous]

You are completely right OP.

In order to save your sanity, you need some respite.
To be a better Mother overall.

I would hire a part-time babysitter.
Usually sitters like a four-hour minimum so four hours 2-3x/week would work.

Then you can have some "me" time.
Meet a friend for lunch, see a movie, get your hair done or just take a stroll alone somewhere.

If your husband does not see the importance of why this is absolutely necessary for you, plus considers you "selfish" for asking him for help, then this issue goes much deeper than just needing a break.
He has no right to make you feel guilty about this.

I would take a step back & evaluate my marriage to this self-serving + cold man.

[Anonymous]

NP here who is a SAHM who lived through having a working spouse who completed an MBA program when we had three kids under 5. This has to be a team endeavor.

My husband took "off" every night he was in town between 6-8 pm. He was present for dinner, helped clean up, helped with bath and bedtimes, and then studied from 8 pm till whenever. Sundays were family days till 5 pm, when studying would take over again.

Find a gym with great childcare. Make a ton of mom friends and set up childcare swaps. Plan nights out with friends. Get a sitter, even if it's once a week for 3 or even 4 hours.

[Anonymous]

Why don't you go back to work and put your DC in daycare? Then, you can take a day off work, take the baby to daycare and have the day to yourself?

[Anonymous]

Stop asking and start telling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been asking him for a break but he says it's impossible. He works and is in an MBA program. We have no family around. Everyday I'm taking care of the baby from morning until 8:30 pm. This is my schedule on weekends too. He called me selfish for wanting to take the day off. If our baby wasn't so difficult I don't think it would be a big deal. My baby cries a lot and I need to get away from the stress. I know he's going to be mad if I just take off for the day and it will be hard to enjoy it. I could hire a babysitter but I'd rather not because it's expensive. Our regular babysitter is also away for the summer.

Stop asking. Tell him what you're doing after you've made the arrangement. You aren't a slave. Time off is non negotiable.

[Anonymous]

Are you sure he isn't cheating? Gone all weekend? Angry and petty towards you. Tight with money. Looking for faults in you. All reasons he uses to justify him cheating. Do not have a second kid with him. You will hate him and your life. He may end up being a real Dick to your kids.