My husband won't give me 1 day off
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Anonymous
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I know I'm gonna catch hell for this, but coming from a guy, your DH is a dick head, not a dear husband....
Sorry |
Anonymous
| aren't breaks when the baby sleeps? |
Anonymous
sorry but what does a parent do when the baby is sleeping (8pm - 9am) and taking 3 hour naps during the day? |
Anonymous
Well, for starters, during a lot of that sleeping stretch you mentioned, the parents are ALSO sleeping. I go to bed at around 9:30pm and get up at 6am when my daughter gets up. She does not and has never slept from 8pm to 9am. As a baby, she napped from about 10-11 and then again from 2-3 or so. Then when she was a toddler, she napped from 12-2. During those naps, I did other stuff that needed to be done, like laundry and dinner prep and taking a shower. The OP isn't talking about getting occasional breaks during the day. She's talking about being the person who is in charge 100% of the time because her jackhole husband does not contribute to childcare at all. This the fundamental misconception of having one parent stay home - that that arrangement exempts the other parent from any responsibility for childcare at any time. That's not how it's supposed to work. |
Anonymous
This happened to me, OP. I agree with the PP who says to go back to work, because he doesn't respect you. I discovered my marriage was emotionally and financially abusive. He told me it was my fault that I was having a problem and I needed to change. That he would LOVE to stay home with DD all day, it would be the best job ever. He couldn't keep up that facade for years, so it validated my feelings when he started getting frustrated with DD. She is still demanding. I left him last year and went back to work. Now I get breaks and he had to step up. |
Anonymous
My 1st child only napped while being held and slept at night in 45 minute chunks of I didn't hold him. Not to mention was up for the day until five years old at 5 am on a regular basis. So yeah, naps and bedtime were not breaks. Luckily my husband understood that. |
Anonymous
| All these people asking for sitter, come on? I'm a guy here, tell him to sac up or f..k off. This is your fault, Op for not demanding more from your husband. Hes not your boss, he's your party. Put baby next to him, walk out door and come back in a few hours |
Anonymous
I agree with you OP. It sounds like a relationship issue to me, not just about you being tired and stressed. My DH and I had to get couples counseling to see each other's points of view because things got so bad. It's hard to prioritize the relationship but if you don't it will hurt the kid(s) in the long run, so it's not selfish at all. |
Anonymous
| Hi! I don't think it is bad to take a day off! You have earned a day off and if he won't pay for it I would ask a family member to send you a few dollars or trade off and watch someone elses child for a day and then they can watch your child another day. If you go to a church then you can put the baby in the nursery while you go to church which may comfort your heart as well as give you a break. Many churches have what is called "Moms time out" where you go to a program or craft activity while your child is cared for and it is free! Check out the yellow pages in your area to find a Moms time out group or check on the website for Focus on the Family.org and they will have resources to help you. Give yourself a break before you really break!!! |
Anonymous
| OP, what were your marriage vows? |
Anonymous
This. I had a full time grad program, worked 20 hours/week, plus a TA position with a professor and I still had loads of time left over on weekends. He's playing you for a full. Please, stand up for yourself. If he won't give you a break then you take it. Leave him wiht the baby or have the baby sitter show up and you take off for a few hours. That's it. He's a partner and your baby's FATHER. He needs to act like it. |
Anonymous
| OP - any updates?? |
Anonymous
OP here: A lot has changed since I posted this. I enrolled my son in a mothers morning out program twice a week. I've been going to hot yoga everyday in the evenings. DH has also agreed to give me a week off in December so I can go on a yoga retreat in Mexico with my local yoga studio. I tell him what I am doing now instead of asking. He still comes home late but I'm able to make it to a 9 pm yoga class every day. |
Anonymous
That's awesome OP. I'm jealous!! |
Anonymous
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This is why I have cats.
Good for you, OP, for standing up for yourself. |