Would you marry someone with a history of mental illness?

[Anonymous]

^Even when the mentally ill person acknowledges they are mentally ill and seeks treatment, there is no guarantee that they will get better or improve significantly with treatment. There is always collateral damage to the family with treated and untreated mental illness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hell no. I have a friend with mental illness and she's a hot mess. Men are more likely to run away from women with mental illness. It's really sad that my friend can't figure out treatment and it's been 10 + years. She says anxiety keeps her from having a job.

One person is not representative of every single person with a mental illness. There are many people without mental illnesses are more of a "hot mess" than some people with properly treated mental illnesses.

New poster here. You are correct. However I was once married to someone who was mentally ill, and now I worry about my kids every day. So far, so good, and I think we would already know if they inherited it. But it's terrifying.

I would never ever marry someone with a mental illness of any sort again. Use me as a cautionary tale. My life was a living hell. And there was no way to know he would develop his illness when I married him.

One of your kids has a mental illness.

I'm sure she knows that. That doesn't change that she wouldn't marry someone with a mental illness.

I can tell you after ha ing a child with adhd I would absolutely never marry someone with it.

So you hope your kid never finds someone to love him or her? Never gets married? I pity your kid, it must suck to have mother who views them s deffective, a burden and unworthy of a basic human need.

I hope he finds someone extremely patient to marry him, if he wants to get married.
I know I couldn't do one to marry someone like that. Someone disorganized etc.
Where did I say I wouldn't want him to get married?
I also wouldn't marry a ( insert other religion) but that doesn't mean I hope such people never marry.
Do you have a comprehension issue?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It amazes me, op, that you had to ask this very broad question without giving any specific details about your situation. Which just makes me believe that your entire intent was to shame an entire group of people who are suffering from a disorder or mental Illness. Every time I think DCUM can't reach any lower, people like you show up and prove me wrong. [/

Not you again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not to mention, people with diagnosed mental illness who seek treatment from a professional and comply with their meds are actually (IMO) far more stable and honest and reliable than the people with undiagnosed mental illness who are convinced they're fine and think it's "weak" to see a psychiatrist.

And mental illness is a broad category. Most people have at some point in their life suffered at least a mild form of a mental illness (not all mental illnesses are chronic and lasting). PPD is a mental illness, but it is treatable and usually temporary (if the person gets treatment).

Furthermore, there are plenty of mental illnesses that really don't manifest until there is a triggering episode, like a death in the family, job loss, having a baby. It's virtually impossible to tell while dating or even in the early stages of living with someone whether or not a huge life change will trigger mental illness.

The only thing you can tell when dating with someone is whether or not they have a hangup about seeing a psychologist/psychiatrist or whether they think that it's "weak" to suffer from a mental illness. IMO, those are the people to avoid marrying because they are the ones who will refuse to seek treatment if they ever have an issue. They're also the ones who will usually refuse counseling when there is an issue in the marriage. They tend to be the ones who are also oblivious to their own quirks and issues and, because of that lack of self-awareness, are difficult to deal with when there's an issue.

This is brilliant. Beautifully expressed--thanks to the PP who wrote this!!

Many mentally ill people don't believe they are mentally ill at all. That's a big part of the problem, they are so sick they are in a different reality. Good luck if that person is your spouse or parent to your kids. There is a lot of collateral damage to a family.

You are an idiot. I am mentally ill. I have been since I was a teenager. I have been going to regular therapy and taking medication for over 20 years. I live a very productive life. I never lost a job, never been evicted, never ever used illegal drugs. I am divorced but I assure you that it has as much to do with my sorry ex as it does with me and very little with my mental illness. Please stop commenting on things you know nothing about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It amazes me, op, that you had to ask this very broad question without giving any specific details about your situation. Which just makes me believe that your entire intent was to shame an entire group of people who are suffering from a disorder or mental Illness. Every time I think DCUM can't reach any lower, people like you show up and prove me wrong. [/

Not you again.

I guarantee you that I am not who you think I am.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not to mention, people with diagnosed mental illness who seek treatment from a professional and comply with their meds are actually (IMO) far more stable and honest and reliable than the people with undiagnosed mental illness who are convinced they're fine and think it's "weak" to see a psychiatrist.

And mental illness is a broad category. Most people have at some point in their life suffered at least a mild form of a mental illness (not all mental illnesses are chronic and lasting). PPD is a mental illness, but it is treatable and usually temporary (if the person gets treatment).

Furthermore, there are plenty of mental illnesses that really don't manifest until there is a triggering episode, like a death in the family, job loss, having a baby. It's virtually impossible to tell while dating or even in the early stages of living with someone whether or not a huge life change will trigger mental illness.

The only thing you can tell when dating with someone is whether or not they have a hangup about seeing a psychologist/psychiatrist or whether they think that it's "weak" to suffer from a mental illness. IMO, those are the people to avoid marrying because they are the ones who will refuse to seek treatment if they ever have an issue. They're also the ones who will usually refuse counseling when there is an issue in the marriage. They tend to be the ones who are also oblivious to their own quirks and issues and, because of that lack of self-awareness, are difficult to deal with when there's an issue.

This is brilliant. Beautifully expressed--thanks to the PP who wrote this!!

Many mentally ill people don't believe they are mentally ill at all. That's a big part of the problem, they are so sick they are in a different reality. Good luck if that person is your spouse or parent to your kids. There is a lot of collateral damage to a family.

You are an idiot. I am mentally ill. I have been since I was a teenager. I have been going to regular therapy and taking medication for over 20 years. I live a very productive life. I never lost a job, never been evicted, never ever used illegal drugs. I am divorced but I assure you that it has as much to do with my sorry ex as it does with me and very little with my mental illness. Please stop commenting on things you know nothing about.

Dealing with a spouses or parents mental illness is hard too. If they decide to go off their meds or start self medicating, the fam has to deal with the fall out. It takes a toll. It is destabilizing for a marriage or family, not to mention expensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It amazes me, op, that you had to ask this very broad question without giving any specific details about your situation. Which just makes me believe that your entire intent was to shame an entire group of people who are suffering from a disorder or mental Illness. Every time I think DCUM can't reach any lower, people like you show up and prove me wrong. [/

Not you again.

I guarantee you that I am not who you think I am.

We'll know shortly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hell no. I have a friend with mental illness and she's a hot mess. Men are more likely to run away from women with mental illness. It's really sad that my friend can't figure out treatment and it's been 10 + years. She says anxiety keeps her from having a job.

That is ONE person with mental illness. I have a mental illness but I am happily married, have a graduate degree and am doing well in my career. Every day is a struggle for me - but with the help of medication and a very supportive DH - I do my best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not to mention, people with diagnosed mental illness who seek treatment from a professional and comply with their meds are actually (IMO) far more stable and honest and reliable than the people with undiagnosed mental illness who are convinced they're fine and think it's "weak" to see a psychiatrist.

And mental illness is a broad category. Most people have at some point in their life suffered at least a mild form of a mental illness (not all mental illnesses are chronic and lasting). PPD is a mental illness, but it is treatable and usually temporary (if the person gets treatment).

Furthermore, there are plenty of mental illnesses that really don't manifest until there is a triggering episode, like a death in the family, job loss, having a baby. It's virtually impossible to tell while dating or even in the early stages of living with someone whether or not a huge life change will trigger mental illness.

The only thing you can tell when dating with someone is whether or not they have a hangup about seeing a psychologist/psychiatrist or whether they think that it's "weak" to suffer from a mental illness. IMO, those are the people to avoid marrying because they are the ones who will refuse to seek treatment if they ever have an issue. They're also the ones who will usually refuse counseling when there is an issue in the marriage. They tend to be the ones who are also oblivious to their own quirks and issues and, because of that lack of self-awareness, are difficult to deal with when there's an issue.

This is brilliant. Beautifully expressed--thanks to the PP who wrote this!!

Many mentally ill people don't believe they are mentally ill at all. That's a big part of the problem, they are so sick they are in a different reality. Good luck if that person is your spouse or parent to your kids. There is a lot of collateral damage to a family.

You are an idiot. I am mentally ill. I have been since I was a teenager. I have been going to regular therapy and taking medication for over 20 years. I live a very productive life. I never lost a job, never been evicted, never ever used illegal drugs. I am divorced but I assure you that it has as much to do with my sorry ex as it does with me and very little with my mental illness. Please stop commenting on things you know nothing about.

Dealing with a spouses or parents mental illness is hard too. If they decide to go off their meds or start self medicating, the fam has to deal with the fall out. It takes a toll. It is destabilizing for a marriage or family, not to mention expensive.

Sure, any chronic illness is destabilizing and expensive. But the most dangerous is people who keep generalizing and spreading misinformation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hell no. I have a friend with mental illness and she's a hot mess. Men are more likely to run away from women with mental illness. It's really sad that my friend can't figure out treatment and it's been 10 + years. She says anxiety keeps her from having a job.

That is ONE person with mental illness. I have a mental illness but I am happily married, have a graduate degree and am doing well in my career. Every day is a struggle for me - but with the help of medication and a very supportive DH - I do my best.

But if your DH had to do it again, would he marry you knowing what he knows now?

[Anonymous]

No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hell no. I have a friend with mental illness and she's a hot mess. Men are more likely to run away from women with mental illness. It's really sad that my friend can't figure out treatment and it's been 10 + years. She says anxiety keeps her from having a job.

That is ONE person with mental illness. I have a mental illness but I am happily married, have a graduate degree and am doing well in my career. Every day is a struggle for me - but with the help of medication and a very supportive DH - I do my best.

But if your DH had to do it again, would he marry you knowing what he knows now?

Wow! Is there no decency left on this board any more?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hell no. I have a friend with mental illness and she's a hot mess. Men are more likely to run away from women with mental illness. It's really sad that my friend can't figure out treatment and it's been 10 + years. She says anxiety keeps her from having a job.

That is ONE person with mental illness. I have a mental illness but I am happily married, have a graduate degree and am doing well in my career. Every day is a struggle for me - but with the help of medication and a very supportive DH - I do my best.

But if your DH had to do it again, would he marry you knowing what he knows now?

I think a lot of spouses would say no!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you marry someone who might get cancer some day? Would you marry someone who might start overeating and gain 60 pounds some day? Would you marry someone who shows no sign of mental illness until a brain injury at age 50?

This is such an offensive topic to get in to. Might surprise you OP, but there are many, many people with mental illnesses who frequent DCUM. I'd probably marry most of them before I wanted to marry someone as ignorant as you.

You're so busy getting up on your high horse you don't even notice that you're responding to questions the OP didn't even ask.

"Would you marry someone who has a history of mental illness?" is a very different question to ask than "would you marry someone who might get a mental illness in the future?". The former is also a very reasonable question to ask; it is not offensive or ignorant.

Would you marry someone who has cancer NOW? Who is 60lbs overweight NOW? Who has mental illness due to brain injury NOW? You are full of shit if you expect me to believe you'd say yes to any of those questions.

Would you marry someone with diabetes?
Would you marry someone with skin cancer?
Would you marry someone with a limp that could pontentially get progressively worse causing them to need a wheelchair?

HELL NO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you marry someone who might get cancer some day? Would you marry someone who might start overeating and gain 60 pounds some day? Would you marry someone who shows no sign of mental illness until a brain injury at age 50?

This is such an offensive topic to get in to. Might surprise you OP, but there are many, many people with mental illnesses who frequent DCUM. I'd probably marry most of them before I wanted to marry someone as ignorant as you.

I live lived a hellish childhood with a schizophenic mother. Back then families hid mental illness and so I am sure my father didn't know what he was getting into.

NO, NO, NO, never should you marry or have kids with someone with a mental health history unless you are a fool.

So no one should marry you ( agreed) or your kids right?

No. Nobody should. If you find out someone had a schizophrenic parent, you should most definitely avoid marrying them.

Yu would should just lock all those deplorables up. Right?

Actually that's too much money for the typical human lifespan. Once diagnosed we should euthanize them that way they don't have the chance to inflict any kind of trouble or pain on anyone.
Hopefully science develops enough in the near future where we can sort this during prenatal testing and abort as needed.

I don't know how you made the jump from "don't marry them" to "lock them up or kill them" but you are pretty fcking stupid.