Would you marry someone with a history of mental illness?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is mental illness a deal breaker for marriage?

Mental illness? Maybe. I can tell you I definately wouldn't marry someone small minded who uses ignorance to stigmatize an entire group of people.

This x 1000000000

[Anonymous]

My DH is a combat veteran with severe PTSD. I was with him for his deployments and have watched him unravel. I have decided to stay married, but we will NOT be having children.

[Anonymous]

I have been diagnosed with (one a decade) bulimia, GAD, PPD and now anxiety. I've been married 20 years and I'm grateful that DH married me, although I recall "coming out" to him about my bulimia when we were dating for a while. He was and is very accepting and just wants me to feel better.

He is a saint. I've not made it easy for him, either. I'm having a very hard time now managing my anxiety, am on new meds, etc. and moments ago, DH just bear hugged me and told me we'd get through this together.

[Anonymous]

I'm afraid OP is the person with a diagnosed mental illness, and so it pains me to say this, but no, I personally would not marry a partner with anything in the DSM.

My perspective is that of a person who married and then was divorced from a man with a basic, very common mental disorder (nothing dramatic or rare). I'm also in health care and consult every week on patients admitted to inpatient behavioral health units in hospitals. I have immense compassion for and understanding of people with bipolar disorder, schizoaffective disorder, anxiety etc. I want all my tax dollars earmarked to study and treat these diseases. I have a child with a (for now) mild form of one of these diseases.

And ***given the choice,*** I would not attempt to set up a life and procreate with a person with any of these disorders, knowing what I know and have already own lived.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is mental illness a deal breaker for marriage?

Mental illness? Maybe. I can tell you I definately wouldn't marry someone small minded who uses ignorance to stigmatize an entire group of people.

Don't be so defensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm afraid OP is the person with a diagnosed mental illness, and so it pains me to say this, but no, I personally would not marry a partner with anything in the DSM.

My perspective is that of a person who married and then was divorced from a man with a basic, very common mental disorder (nothing dramatic or rare). I'm also in health care and consult every week on patients admitted to inpatient behavioral health units in hospitals. I have immense compassion for and understanding of people with bipolar disorder, schizoaffective disorder, anxiety etc. I want all my tax dollars earmarked to study and treat these diseases. I have a child with a (for now) mild form of one of these diseases.

And ***given the choice,*** I would not attempt to set up a life and procreate with a person with any of these disorders, knowing what I know and have already own lived.

Your child has a a high chance of developing a mental health disorder, so you are saying your kid is not deserving of love and marriage.

You don't want your tax dollars to help people you want them to build institutions so people can be locked away and you don't have to think about them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is mental illness a deal breaker for marriage?

Mental illness? Maybe. I can tell you I definately wouldn't marry someone small minded who uses ignorance to stigmatize an entire group of people.

Don't be so defensive.

Not defensive. As I have no mental health disorder. Just disgusted with the attitude you and others constantly display on this site towards people with mental health issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is mental illness a deal breaker for marriage?

Yes. I would not enter into the marriage. Mental illness manifesting after being married is different.

[Anonymous]

Would you marry someone who might get cancer some day? Would you marry someone who might start overeating and gain 60 pounds some day? Would you marry someone who shows no sign of mental illness until a brain injury at age 50?

This is such an offensive topic to get in to. Might surprise you OP, but there are many, many people with mental illnesses who frequent DCUM. I'd probably marry most of them before I wanted to marry someone as ignorant as you.

[Anonymous]

There's quite a spectrum, all the way from a situational illness to schizophrenia.

Estimates of lifetime prevalence of diagnosable mental disorder approach 50% for the US.

[Anonymous]

Depends on the person and how well controlled the condition is. I'm not going to intentionally make my life much harder than it needs to be, though.

[Anonymous]

Nope, and I say this as someone who had anxiety and depression all throughout my teens and 20s. My DH also has anxiety and for a long time we just fed off each other's anxiety, until I was able to get mine under control. His still isn't and it impacts our marriage.

In general, though, healthy people aren't attracted to those with mental illness, but people with it are attracted to each other (like my DH and I, and pretty much all my relationships before DH. Depression, bipolar, alcoholism, I've dated it all, ha). So if you're considering marrying someone with mental illness, get some counseling for yourself to figure out what's really going on.

There are SO many healthy people out there, it's just not worth it. Back when I was a mess, I wouldn't have wanted to marry myself, either.

[Anonymous]

https://www.reddit.com/r/schizophrenia/comments/6kr4zi/i_feel_less_than_human/?st=J4MYYQZ5&sh=72196150

Here you go, written by a real human being less than 24 hours ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been diagnosed with (one a decade) bulimia, GAD, PPD and now anxiety. I've been married 20 years and I'm grateful that DH married me, although I recall "coming out" to him about my bulimia when we were dating for a while. He was and is very accepting and just wants me to feel better.

He is a saint. I've not made it easy for him, either. I'm having a very hard time now managing my anxiety, am on new meds, etc. and moments ago, DH just bear hugged me and told me we'd get through this together.

Oh yes. Same here exactly. 15 years. My DH is a saint too and our relationship is the definition of love that knows no bounds. By the way, he's had his own mental health struggles and I care for him as he cares for me.
He knew before we married about my depression and anxiety and said as long as I continue to try to be healthy, he'll continue to stick by me.
It limits the dating pool significqntly to have a rule of not being with someone with a mental illness. And you never know what kind of depressions and anxietys will manifest after you've already committted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope, and I say this as someone who had anxiety and depression all throughout my teens and 20s. My DH also has anxiety and for a long time we just fed off each other's anxiety, until I was able to get mine under control. His still isn't and it impacts our marriage.

In general, though, healthy people aren't attracted to those with mental illness, but people with it are attracted to each other (like my DH and I, and pretty much all my relationships before DH. Depression, bipolar, alcoholism, I've dated it all, ha). So if you're considering marrying someone with mental illness, get some counseling for yourself to figure out what's really going on.

There are SO many healthy people out there, it's just not worth it. Back when I was a mess, I wouldn't have wanted to marry myself, either.

You say there are so many healthy people out there, but most everyone I know has or has had something type of physical or mental unhealth. When you find that perfect person come back and let us know.