Trying to prevent having an affair with my co-worker

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm impressed that you're physically attracted to an AARP member. You'll have plenty of time to sleep with a guy with loose skin and old berries. No reason to rush to it.

LMAO! I bet he probably can't get it up!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who fantasizes about 60+ year old men?

Plenty more than people who fantasize about 60+ year old women which you will all be one day.

What is your point?

My point is that many more women fantasize about 60+ year old men then men fantasize about 60+ year old women and that all of you complaining women will one day be 60+. Of course, Christie Brinkley is still pretty hot!

hahahaha delusional
you are probably the troll who wrote this crap.
the number of women who fantasize about 60+ yo men is very veru small - and they are all 50+

[Anonymous]

Lady, you don't deserve your husband. You're bored? Get over yourself.

[Anonymous]

Guy here...Im sorry for being harsh op but you are a lame loser. Not only are your spitting in the face of your family but i cant see any reason why you are lusting after a loser 20 years your senior. Maybe you are just going through a mid life crisis but jeez...but.crushing on a 60yo dude with moral character flaws is not the panacea. Idiot.

[Anonymous]

Op what do you look like?

[Anonymous]

I'm confident that the old swinger has an std. Zero chance he doesn't. Gross.

[Anonymous]

There are some key words here that sound off alarm bells in my head. I have been around people like your mentor. Open relationship, non-monagomy, karma, pure, mentor. This may even be a new age or pagan connection.

I would put my money on the fact that his marriage isn't what you believe it to be. Or rather, he is taking advantage and not the good person here that you think he is. Sure, we say people can be completely happy in open relationships, but not like this.

RUN. Shut it down and move on.

[Anonymous]

Sure he's "totally in love with his wife."
Have you considered that he may not be presenting you with the complete truth about himself and his marriage?
Just something to ponder before you toss your marriage into a dumpster fire.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been married over 10 years. Early 40s, young kids, great husband. I've never been unfaithful to him but have had a couple crushes on other men throughout the years. Life is a grind and hard in the sense that it has gotten a little boring and predictable.

The latest crush is for a man who is 20 years older, a mentor to me, with whom I've Worked closely for a long time. The crush has been going strong for 1.5 years, though in the past few months it has died down some. He's married in a open relationship (totally in love with his wife, but they've both had long love affairs with others and don't believe in monogamy). The crush and I have talked about our attraction to one another. I've explained that my marriage is pure and that I can't compromise that. He has talked at length about his relationship history and relationships both within and outside his marriage. He's never had an affair with a colleague before or someone with such a big age spread.

We've got two work trips coming up, so there is an opportunity to get physical. I don't want to mess up my family, my integrity, my karma, my career. But I want to be close to this man so badly and think and fantasize about him constantly.

What should I do? How do I resist? Tell me how little I mean to him and how much I mean to my husband and kids.

Why don't you fuggin' wacky-packs spend your time actually working at work instead of all this other bullshit? Do they seriously pay you to waste your time this way?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op what do you look like?

Cthulu.

[Anonymous]

Hey, everyone likes attention and I'm sure getting interest from this guy feels fun and exhilarating - that's fine, it's human nature. However, it's gone (way) too far - this is no longer harmless flirting in passing, you're openly discussing (moreover, and an important distinction: fantasizing about...because this IS total fantasy that you're indulging) your hypothetical future affair. It's time to draw a hard line and cut this off, before it goes any farther and things that you regret and can never undo happen. Have a direct conversation with him: make it clear in no uncertain terms that this proposition and all discussion of it are DONE, that you feel foolish about the lapse in judgment you've had, and that from here on out you will be discussing work matters only. Be firm and then stick to that.

Shut it down now and you can start the process of moving on from this crush, and look back in a few years and feel proud of yourself. Keep playing with fire and you (and other people) will get burned. Not worth it

[Anonymous]

It's going to blow up her career to have an affair with her boss. Boss-subordinate affairs rarely end well, professionally, for subordinate women. She can avoid that professional pain, as well as all the personal pain of blowing up her family, by getting a new job.

Not true! Many women(and some men too) advanced their professional careers by sleeping with their bosses. Actually her boss/mentor is taking a much bigger risk of getting fired and exposing the organization to a potential lawsuit and bad publicity.

[Anonymous]

Ew. If you're going to cheat don't do it with a damn 60 year old. Raise your standards!!! OMG.

[Anonymous]

News flash - you are having an affair with your co-worker. It's emotional. Just because it's not physical, doesn't make it any better. Do your husband a favor, and talk with him about your emotional affair. Then accept it if he wants a divorce.

There is nothing wrong with having a crush on someone. It happens.

However, you constantly talking with this man about those feelings, talking with him about non-work related issues... you are actively participating in an emotional affair.

[Anonymous]

Amusing how many posters in this thread imply that maybe if he was a hot 40-something you should think about going for it.