I wanted to have sex with DH today

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

AdamGamecock wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, my honest opinion is that you wanted to "seem" like you were up for sex but you didn't really want to do it. Everything you've said so far sounds like sabotage. Let's be honest, you didn't really want to have sex with your husband did you?

Bingo! This was more of a "test" or "game". He chose not to play and I can't blame him. Communicate directly with men. Don't hint or beat around the bush.

Man here. It was a manipulative game and he had no idea it was even happening. Men don't care about the house being clean or the relatives all in on a 5 year old birthday party. That's the woman's world view and priority. Men are just as happy walking around a cluttered house eating food on a napkin with a toothpick. They figure you are having a great time buzzing around creating your ideallic stereotyped environment and that it brings you so much pleasure, you are ok with not having sex. You are never going to get him to happily join in on the fetish he doesn't really care about. He figures he works his ass off in big law which is a royal pain in the ass making big money and he needs downtime to continue competing. He innately senses many women would kill to have him provide and foolishly believes some of them may not be so non verbally manipulative.

Don't men ever get tired of not being able to read between the lines? I would hate to have to be told explicitly every single thing in a relationship - "help me with the usual chores if you want sex." Yuck, so....blunt....

I think men innately sense that they are going to die ten years earlier than their wives and in many ways are weaker and more worn out after work than women are. Men are hard on the outside and women are hard on the inside. It's almost unhealthy for men to push themselves beyond their competitive jobs. It seems like they need downtime more than women. I think they are willing to live in a dirty chaotic situation if it adds a few years to their lives.

My grandfather and my father both outlived their wives, who worked their fingers to the bone their whole, short lives, as opposed to the men, who only had their jobs to worry about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

AdamGamecock wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, my honest opinion is that you wanted to "seem" like you were up for sex but you didn't really want to do it. Everything you've said so far sounds like sabotage. Let's be honest, you didn't really want to have sex with your husband did you?

Bingo! This was more of a "test" or "game". He chose not to play and I can't blame him. Communicate directly with men. Don't hint or beat around the bush.

Man here. It was a manipulative game and he had no idea it was even happening. Men don't care about the house being clean or the relatives all in on a 5 year old birthday party. That's the woman's world view and priority. Men are just as happy walking around a cluttered house eating food on a napkin with a toothpick. They figure you are having a great time buzzing around creating your ideallic stereotyped environment and that it brings you so much pleasure, you are ok with not having sex. You are never going to get him to happily join in on the fetish he doesn't really care about. He figures he works his ass off in big law which is a royal pain in the ass making big money and he needs downtime to continue competing. He innately senses many women would kill to have him provide and foolishly believes some of them may not be so non verbally manipulative.

That's pathetic, PP. It is absolutely pathetic that a grown man cares more about his own down time than spending time with his kids, participating in his household, etc. I am certain that OP's husband enjoys the house being clean. I'm sure that he also reaps the rewards of her work on things like kid birthday parties and making dinner. He would, no doubt, complain if those things stopped happening, even if he was permitted to go to the gym and get his precious, precious down time.

It is a daily reality for many women that we spend our days at offices and then come home for another 6 hour shift at home with partners who think that once they finish their work day, it's now time for them to engage in whatever pleasure activities suit them. It is disrespectful as hell that they do not notice or care that their partners are doing all the work at home. Making a lot of money does not exempt you from being a full participant in home life, and sitting around watching TV after having a leisurely workout and eating dinner that someone else made for you while you were not taking care of your own children makes you a shitty partner. I literally do not care how much money you make. It's selfish.

Damn right and it's the story of my life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

AdamGamecock wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, my honest opinion is that you wanted to "seem" like you were up for sex but you didn't really want to do it. Everything you've said so far sounds like sabotage. Let's be honest, you didn't really want to have sex with your husband did you?

Bingo! This was more of a "test" or "game". He chose not to play and I can't blame him. Communicate directly with men. Don't hint or beat around the bush.

Man here. It was a manipulative game and he had no idea it was even happening. Men don't care about the house being clean or the relatives all in on a 5 year old birthday party. That's the woman's world view and priority. Men are just as happy walking around a cluttered house eating food on a napkin with a toothpick. They figure you are having a great time buzzing around creating your ideallic stereotyped environment and that it brings you so much pleasure, you are ok with not having sex. You are never going to get him to happily join in on the fetish he doesn't really care about. He figures he works his ass off in big law which is a royal pain in the ass making big money and he needs downtime to continue competing. He innately senses many women would kill to have him provide and foolishly believes some of them may not be so non verbally manipulative.

Don't men ever get tired of not being able to read between the lines? I would hate to have to be told explicitly every single thing in a relationship - "help me with the usual chores if you want sex." Yuck, so....blunt....

I think men innately sense that they are going to die ten years earlier than their wives and in many ways are weaker and more worn out after work than women are. Men are hard on the outside and women are hard on the inside. It's almost unhealthy for men to push themselves beyond their competitive jobs. It seems like they need downtime more than women. I think they are willing to live in a dirty chaotic situation if it adds a few years to their lives.

Nope. Men will do what they can get away with doing. We don't have any desire to be martyrs. We don't go around telling everyone how hard we work ("Never let them see you sweat"). But, if you want to believe what you just wrote, that's fine with me.

Why do men try to get away with doing nothing? Is it because their self respect is not at all contingent on whether they are a good partner to their wives?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He brought home balloons for his children and I'm sure he interacts with them a lot. Probably organized their sports teams.

Not sure if you're being sarcastic. He brought balloons because I asked him to. He interacts with them to play with them, never puts them to bed, never feeds them dinner. Occasionally gives them breakfast while I'm getting ready for work. Rarely wakes up with them on the weekends. Doesn't take them to the doctor, or to sports. Sometimes takes them to school, if I take the dogs. Sometimes picks them up if I am stuck in traffic and he happens to be home. Doesn't track their appointments, or vet appointments.

I don't expect him to do things that happen during work hours or when he is actually working. But it's too much for one person, and especially when that person has asked for more help repeatedly.

This is exactly why I screw other men. Because I hate that my husband lets me do all the work.

[Anonymous]

I wanted to have sex with my DW

I left the house at 6am...went to work, got home around 4:30 cut the grass, took a shower, cooked dinner for her and my daughter and me, clean up dinner, then got on my computer to pay our quarterly estimated tax, read some, and then went to bed...DW stayed up later

she doesn't appreciate all the hard work I do enough to have sex on demand

there is always two sides to the coin...

I know that if my wife asked me to have sex after a like that I'd be less than interested... maybe he realized that you had a tough day and felt that you may not be as inclined to have him climb on top of you..


WAH

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

AdamGamecock wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, my honest opinion is that you wanted to "seem" like you were up for sex but you didn't really want to do it. Everything you've said so far sounds like sabotage. Let's be honest, you didn't really want to have sex with your husband did you?

Bingo! This was more of a "test" or "game". He chose not to play and I can't blame him. Communicate directly with men. Don't hint or beat around the bush.

Man here. It was a manipulative game and he had no idea it was even happening. Men don't care about the house being clean or the relatives all in on a 5 year old birthday party. That's the woman's world view and priority. Men are just as happy walking around a cluttered house eating food on a napkin with a toothpick. They figure you are having a great time buzzing around creating your ideallic stereotyped environment and that it brings you so much pleasure, you are ok with not having sex. You are never going to get him to happily join in on the fetish he doesn't really care about. He figures he works his ass off in big law which is a royal pain in the ass making big money and he needs downtime to continue competing. He innately senses many women would kill to have him provide and foolishly believes some of them may not be so non verbally manipulative.

Don't men ever get tired of not being able to read between the lines? I would hate to have to be told explicitly every single thing in a relationship - "help me with the usual chores if you want sex." Yuck, so....blunt....

I think men innately sense that they are going to die ten years earlier than their wives and in many ways are weaker and more worn out after work than women are. Men are hard on the outside and women are hard on the inside. It's almost unhealthy for men to push themselves beyond their competitive jobs. It seems like they need downtime more than women. I think they are willing to live in a dirty chaotic situation if it adds a few years to their lives.

Nope. Men will do what they can get away with doing. We don't have any desire to be martyrs. We don't go around telling everyone how hard we work ("Never let them see you sweat"). But, if you want to believe what you just wrote, that's fine with me.

You didn't respond to anything I wrote. Ask your man "do you think you need more downtime because you are going to die ten years earlier than me? Do you think it may be harder on your insides to be doing chores when you feel the need to recharge?"

That might get a thoughtful and honest conversation going.

I'm a man and I don't know any man who thinks like this. Where did you get that thought from?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm still stuck on driving home for an hour and ordering on Amazon during the commute...

Me too! WTF, OP? I feel for you on the other stuff, but what the hell are you doing ordering things on Amazon while driving???

During down time in traffic.

Not cool. You won't have to worry about sex at all when you are in traction.

[Anonymous]

God, I love the sex talk. Thanks, ya'll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

AdamGamecock wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, my honest opinion is that you wanted to "seem" like you were up for sex but you didn't really want to do it. Everything you've said so far sounds like sabotage. Let's be honest, you didn't really want to have sex with your husband did you?

Bingo! This was more of a "test" or "game". He chose not to play and I can't blame him. Communicate directly with men. Don't hint or beat around the bush.

Man here. It was a manipulative game and he had no idea it was even happening. Men don't care about the house being clean or the relatives all in on a 5 year old birthday party. That's the woman's world view and priority. Men are just as happy walking around a cluttered house eating food on a napkin with a toothpick. They figure you are having a great time buzzing around creating your ideallic stereotyped environment and that it brings you so much pleasure, you are ok with not having sex. You are never going to get him to happily join in on the fetish he doesn't really care about. He figures he works his ass off in big law which is a royal pain in the ass making big money and he needs downtime to continue competing. He innately senses many women would kill to have him provide and foolishly believes some of them may not be so non verbally manipulative.

Don't men ever get tired of not being able to read between the lines? I would hate to have to be told explicitly every single thing in a relationship - "help me with the usual chores if you want sex." Yuck, so....blunt....

I think men innately sense that they are going to die ten years earlier than their wives and in many ways are weaker and more worn out after work than women are. Men are hard on the outside and women are hard on the inside. It's almost unhealthy for men to push themselves beyond their competitive jobs. It seems like they need downtime more than women. I think they are willing to live in a dirty chaotic situation if it adds a few years to their lives.

Nope. Men will do what they can get away with doing. We don't have any desire to be martyrs. We don't go around telling everyone how hard we work ("Never let them see you sweat"). But, if you want to believe what you just wrote, that's fine with me.

You didn't respond to anything I wrote. Ask your man "do you think you need more downtime because you are going to die ten years earlier than me? Do you think it may be harder on your insides to be doing chores when you feel the need to recharge?"

That might get a thoughtful and honest conversation going.

I'm a man and I don't know any man who thinks like this. Where did you get that thought from?

Now that it's in your head it will explain a lot. The culture hates science facts that don't fit the narrative but that doesn't change reality. The avoidance of reality leads to tremendous frustration and angst.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

AdamGamecock wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, my honest opinion is that you wanted to "seem" like you were up for sex but you didn't really want to do it. Everything you've said so far sounds like sabotage. Let's be honest, you didn't really want to have sex with your husband did you?

Bingo! This was more of a "test" or "game". He chose not to play and I can't blame him. Communicate directly with men. Don't hint or beat around the bush.

Man here. It was a manipulative game and he had no idea it was even happening. Men don't care about the house being clean or the relatives all in on a 5 year old birthday party. That's the woman's world view and priority. Men are just as happy walking around a cluttered house eating food on a napkin with a toothpick. They figure you are having a great time buzzing around creating your ideallic stereotyped environment and that it brings you so much pleasure, you are ok with not having sex. You are never going to get him to happily join in on the fetish he doesn't really care about. He figures he works his ass off in big law which is a royal pain in the ass making big money and he needs downtime to continue competing. He innately senses many women would kill to have him provide and foolishly believes some of them may not be so non verbally manipulative.

Don't men ever get tired of not being able to read between the lines? I would hate to have to be told explicitly every single thing in a relationship - "help me with the usual chores if you want sex." Yuck, so....blunt....

I think men innately sense that they are going to die ten years earlier than their wives and in many ways are weaker and more worn out after work than women are. Men are hard on the outside and women are hard on the inside. It's almost unhealthy for men to push themselves beyond their competitive jobs. It seems like they need downtime more than women. I think they are willing to live in a dirty chaotic situation if it adds a few years to their lives.

Nope. Men will do what they can get away with doing. We don't have any desire to be martyrs. We don't go around telling everyone how hard we work ("Never let them see you sweat"). But, if you want to believe what you just wrote, that's fine with me.

You didn't respond to anything I wrote. Ask your man "do you think you need more downtime because you are going to die ten years earlier than me? Do you think it may be harder on your insides to be doing chores when you feel the need to recharge?"

That might get a thoughtful and honest conversation going.

I'm a man and I don't know any man who thinks like this. Where did you get that thought from?

Now that it's in your head it will explain a lot. The culture hates science facts that don't fit the narrative but that doesn't change reality. The avoidance of reality leads to tremendous frustration and angst.

Thanks Yoda!

[Anonymous]

You don't want sex , OP. If you did, you wouldn't have felt the need to clean for the cleaner or pick up books or break down boxes that could have sat in the garage, or anything younfid after bedtime. You wouldn't have posted on DCUM instead of going upstairs to get it going.

What you wanted was to telegraph to your husband you wanted sex so he would scramble to do chores to "earn" it and when he didn't you didn't want to reward him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm still stuck on driving home for an hour and ordering on Amazon during the commute...

+1. LOL!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't want sex , OP. If you did, you wouldn't have felt the need to clean for the cleaner or pick up books or break down boxes that could have sat in the garage, or anything younfid after bedtime. You wouldn't have posted on DCUM instead of going upstairs to get it going.

What you wanted was to telegraph to your husband you wanted sex so he would scramble to do chores to "earn" it and when he didn't you didn't want to reward him.

Bingo!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't want sex , OP. If you did, you wouldn't have felt the need to clean for the cleaner or pick up books or break down boxes that could have sat in the garage, or anything younfid after bedtime. You wouldn't have posted on DCUM instead of going upstairs to get it going.

What you wanted was to telegraph to your husband you wanted sex so he would scramble to do chores to "earn" it and when he didn't you didn't want to reward him.

Wow! Your psychic powers must be really strong. What else do you know about the OP's inner thoughts and motivations that you are able to so clearly tell her that she didn't want the thing she stated that she wanted??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't want sex , OP. If you did, you wouldn't have felt the need to clean for the cleaner or pick up books or break down boxes that could have sat in the garage, or anything younfid after bedtime. You wouldn't have posted on DCUM instead of going upstairs to get it going.

What you wanted was to telegraph to your husband you wanted sex so he would scramble to do chores to "earn" it and when he didn't you didn't want to reward him.

Wow! Your psychic powers must be really strong. What else do you know about the OP's inner thoughts and motivations that you are able to so clearly tell her that she didn't want the thing she stated that she wanted??

All of her actions a follow up comments really illustrate she did not.