I wanted to have sex with DH today

[Anonymous]

gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From a man: OP, I hate to tell you this but if he knew that you wanted sex and then watched you do all of the housework...then he didn't want to have sex with you.

If my wife texted me about having sex tonight, I would make sure that I did everything in my power to "clear the path" to the bedroom and make sure that she wasn't stressed out.

Yeah, but women are different. My DW relaxes by doing housework. If she doesn't pick up and clean in her preferred way (mine's not good enough) she gets stressed. Cleaning helps put her in the mood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your words may say "I wanted sex" but your actions say "I wanted to me a SuperMom and a martyr"

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Again, no one is a mind reader. Simply say, "I am doing the dishes, can you do the laundry right now?"

I get your point but I have to ask him to do some of the chores, all of the time. All of the time. Why is it that I need to ask him, despite us having this larger conversation over and over? That is what is so frustrating. I have to ask every time I need help, and I feel like a nagging wife. I get tired of feeling like a nag.

And yes, I've said those things to him.

I have none of your problems. My DH could live in absolute chaos and filth. Doesn't bother him, so instead i direct him, all the time. If I'm doing dishes, i tell him to go upstairs and do laundry. I'd rather constantly tell him than:
A. Do it myself
Or
B. Be mad like you.

If you are constantly telling your husband what to do, then you are perceived as a nag, and he probably has the same sexual attraction to you that he has for his mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have a cleaner coming but prioritized cleaning for the cleaner above spending quality time with your husband. He's not the only one to blame for what happened.

You're ridiculous. If you don't declutter before the cleaners come, nothing gets cleaned and it's a waste of money.

They clean the house, they don't put away your stuff.

It's not idea, but there have been a few times when I left the cleaners with my house in disaster shape. They pick up all the crap and put it into a pile in the corner so that they can clean. Of course, I always leave an extra 20 or two when this happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have a cleaner coming but prioritized cleaning for the cleaner above spending quality time with your husband. He's not the only one to blame for what happened.

You're ridiculous. If you don't declutter before the cleaners come, nothing gets cleaned and it's a waste of money.

They clean the house, they don't put away your stuff.

This is one of the reasons we don't have cleaners now. They are not magic fairies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:During the day I was feeling it and thought DH and I would have sex tonight.

Then I spent an hour driving home from work, ordered things from amazon during commute for kids' bday party this weekend, picked up the dog, picked up the kids (5 and 3) one of whom had a meltdown because her snack was in wrong container, came home to other dog, fed dogs, fed kids, facetimed with 5 different relatives for 5 year old's birthday, wrangled kids to bath and bed, cleaned playroom, cleaned books off their floor, cleaned dishes, cooked dinner, cleaned up more dishes and pots after dinner, finished decluttering house, broke down boxes and gathered trash/recycling to put to curb, and washed a load of laundry.

It is 20 minutes to midnight (I live in central time) and I am just now sitting down for the first time all night. During all that, DH came home with balloons for the kids, exercised, had dinner with me, watched tv, answered some work emails. He went to bed about 20 minutes ago after a shower.

I don't even know if I'm posting to ask a question or vent or what, but it's disappointing and frustrating.

- This happens all the time but somehow suddenly that day he was going to magically change and not do what he always does.

- You can only change your own unrealistic expectations. What's the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

- You definitely have the martyr / supermom thing down.

- No need to facetime with that many relatives. Let me guess? They expected it/would be disappointed/it's the right thing to do, your kid would cry, etc and so on. So you prioritized their feelings and being a "good mom" in their eyes and skipped out on your own family time. Birthday wishes are just as wonderful before or after a birthday and don't need to come all at once. Think of it this way, if you ended up divorced would your kid say "well thank god my mom made sure I facetimed 5 relatives on my birthday instead of worrying about her relationship with my dad."

- Buy a couple big plastic bins, to declutter quickly before cleaner, toss the stuff in the bins, add lid, stack in room out of the way. I am willing to bet once your DH sees you declutter this way a few times, he will be happy to help.

- Toss boxes in the garage, they can be broken down some over day.

- Ask DH to throw in load of laundry.

- Get a dog walker. Forget about taking the dog somewhere. that's just complicating your life.

- You are just at the beginning. Your life will get craizer as your kids get older and there are more activities. Learn to stream line now and prioritize.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a man's world, baby.

If it were truly a man's world, she would have taken a break between putting the kids down and taking out the trash to give him a BJ so he could fall asleep with a smile on hisnface.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I hate talking on the phone or facetiming. You're kid probable hated it, too.