Mother refused to order take out unless I called in the order

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She was worried your DH will not order what she wants. You said she likes what she likes and probably knows your DH may not pay close attention to what she said she wants or he doesn't know and that may have happened before. My mom likes what she likes and heaven help us if somebody gets her order wrong. Men are known for not ordering exactly as told and they don't want to pay attention to what you are saying, like I don't want onions, but DH thinks it is too much trouble to tell no onions, no mushrooms, and I have no problem with it. The not paying was a bit weird, but maybe because she knew your DH would get it wrong and then she would be paying for something she doesn't want. Same for her, she is probably not sure what it is that she likes as you were the one who introduced her to Indian food and know what she likes. I don't let my DH order food either, kids and I are very picky and he always screws it up, always. Not maliciously, just doesn't pay attention. It is the same with all the men in my family.

+1. This is true for my DH, too. Easier to just order myself.

Don't project your incompetent husbands onto other people. OP has said hers was capable of doing this elementary school task.

Wow, your husband must be counting his blessing each and every minute he spends with you. God help him if he does order something wrong. Clearly in your marriage, he is the Stepford wife! You are clearly miserable and abusive wife to your DH. Oh, wait, I bet you don't have a husband...anymore. Or you are a beard wife.

NP. Your husband does sound incompetent and useless. Sorry, but who can't handle a takeout order? Don't be pissed at the other poster that you married a loser.

I am sorry to inform all of you women with "competent husbands" that you didn't marry real men. You married some metrosexual versions of men. Real man don't care about getting the take out right, they don't care about small details such as which juice is the exact right kind and which is not "right." You married Chevy Chase pale, can't BBQ men, can't fix electrical men, can' cut a tree men, can't fix a car or do anything physically demanding. You are also clueless about real marriage if you take pride in the fact that "your man" can get the order right. You also are pointing out that you can't cook so he has to get it right, and he can't cook because plenty of real men can cook. You are also pointing out that you and your DH are very young and have no real life experience if competency comes with ordering food right. Have a great time with your husbands who can order the food right, I'll take mine high earner and can fix anything useless guy, who screws up the take out order any day.

Auntie, time for bed. You've had too much white Zin.

Wow, this went off the rails fast. What the hell?

What the hell is exactly right. I pointed out the truth, that many men, including my husband can't order food for me and my picky kids right, and got attacked and had people call him incompetent and useless. I don't see a correlation between useless and messing up the take away unless you are a college student who orders food non stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She was worried your DH will not order what she wants. You said she likes what she likes and probably knows your DH may not pay close attention to what she said she wants or he doesn't know and that may have happened before. My mom likes what she likes and heaven help us if somebody gets her order wrong. Men are known for not ordering exactly as told and they don't want to pay attention to what you are saying, like I don't want onions, but DH thinks it is too much trouble to tell no onions, no mushrooms, and I have no problem with it. The not paying was a bit weird, but maybe because she knew your DH would get it wrong and then she would be paying for something she doesn't want. Same for her, she is probably not sure what it is that she likes as you were the one who introduced her to Indian food and know what she likes. I don't let my DH order food either, kids and I are very picky and he always screws it up, always. Not maliciously, just doesn't pay attention. It is the same with all the men in my family.

+1. This is true for my DH, too. Easier to just order myself.

Don't project your incompetent husbands onto other people. OP has said hers was capable of doing this elementary school task.

Wow, your husband must be counting his blessing each and every minute he spends with you. God help him if he does order something wrong. Clearly in your marriage, he is the Stepford wife! You are clearly miserable and abusive wife to your DH. Oh, wait, I bet you don't have a husband...anymore. Or you are a beard wife.

NP. Your husband does sound incompetent and useless. Sorry, but who can't handle a takeout order? Don't be pissed at the other poster that you married a loser.

I am sorry to inform all of you women with "competent husbands" that you didn't marry real men. You married some metrosexual versions of men. Real man don't care about getting the take out right, they don't care about small details such as which juice is the exact right kind and which is not "right." You married Chevy Chase pale, can't BBQ men, can't fix electrical men, can' cut a tree men, can't fix a car or do anything physically demanding. You are also clueless about real marriage if you take pride in the fact that "your man" can get the order right. You also are pointing out that you can't cook so he has to get it right, and he can't cook because plenty of real men can cook. You are also pointing out that you and your DH are very young and have no real life experience if competency comes with ordering food right. Have a great time with your husbands who can order the food right, I'll take mine high earner and can fix anything useless guy, who screws up the take out order any day.

WTF? This pp is a loon. Her DH sounds like a Neanderthal and she seems to like it...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She was worried your DH will not order what she wants. You said she likes what she likes and probably knows your DH may not pay close attention to what she said she wants or he doesn't know and that may have happened before. My mom likes what she likes and heaven help us if somebody gets her order wrong. Men are known for not ordering exactly as told and they don't want to pay attention to what you are saying, like I don't want onions, but DH thinks it is too much trouble to tell no onions, no mushrooms, and I have no problem with it. The not paying was a bit weird, but maybe because she knew your DH would get it wrong and then she would be paying for something she doesn't want. Same for her, she is probably not sure what it is that she likes as you were the one who introduced her to Indian food and know what she likes. I don't let my DH order food either, kids and I are very picky and he always screws it up, always. Not maliciously, just doesn't pay attention. It is the same with all the men in my family.

+1. This is true for my DH, too. Easier to just order myself.

Don't project your incompetent husbands onto other people. OP has said hers was capable of doing this elementary school task.

Wow, your husband must be counting his blessing each and every minute he spends with you. God help him if he does order something wrong. Clearly in your marriage, he is the Stepford wife! You are clearly miserable and abusive wife to your DH. Oh, wait, I bet you don't have a husband...anymore. Or you are a beard wife.

NP. Your husband does sound incompetent and useless. Sorry, but who can't handle a takeout order? Don't be pissed at the other poster that you married a loser.

I am sorry to inform all of you women with "competent husbands" that you didn't marry real men. You married some metrosexual versions of men. Real man don't care about getting the take out right, they don't care about small details such as which juice is the exact right kind and which is not "right." You married Chevy Chase pale, can't BBQ men, can't fix electrical men, can' cut a tree men, can't fix a car or do anything physically demanding. You are also clueless about real marriage if you take pride in the fact that "your man" can get the order right. You also are pointing out that you can't cook so he has to get it right, and he can't cook because plenty of real men can cook. You are also pointing out that you and your DH are very young and have no real life experience if competency comes with ordering food right. Have a great time with your husbands who can order the food right, I'll take mine high earner and can fix anything useless guy, who screws up the take out order any day.

Auntie, time for bed. You've had too much white Zin.

At least I can legally have it, whereas you can't.

Sweetie, step away from the computer. You're making a fool of yourself. NP, btw.

Truth hurts, ha? And I don't need the Southern bitch telling me what to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She was worried your DH will not order what she wants. You said she likes what she likes and probably knows your DH may not pay close attention to what she said she wants or he doesn't know and that may have happened before. My mom likes what she likes and heaven help us if somebody gets her order wrong. Men are known for not ordering exactly as told and they don't want to pay attention to what you are saying, like I don't want onions, but DH thinks it is too much trouble to tell no onions, no mushrooms, and I have no problem with it. The not paying was a bit weird, but maybe because she knew your DH would get it wrong and then she would be paying for something she doesn't want. Same for her, she is probably not sure what it is that she likes as you were the one who introduced her to Indian food and know what she likes. I don't let my DH order food either, kids and I are very picky and he always screws it up, always. Not maliciously, just doesn't pay attention. It is the same with all the men in my family.

+1. This is true for my DH, too. Easier to just order myself.

Don't project your incompetent husbands onto other people. OP has said hers was capable of doing this elementary school task.

Wow, your husband must be counting his blessing each and every minute he spends with you. God help him if he does order something wrong. Clearly in your marriage, he is the Stepford wife! You are clearly miserable and abusive wife to your DH. Oh, wait, I bet you don't have a husband...anymore. Or you are a beard wife.

NP. Your husband does sound incompetent and useless. Sorry, but who can't handle a takeout order? Don't be pissed at the other poster that you married a loser.

I am sorry to inform all of you women with "competent husbands" that you didn't marry real men. You married some metrosexual versions of men. Real man don't care about getting the take out right, they don't care about small details such as which juice is the exact right kind and which is not "right." You married Chevy Chase pale, can't BBQ men, can't fix electrical men, can' cut a tree men, can't fix a car or do anything physically demanding. You are also clueless about real marriage if you take pride in the fact that "your man" can get the order right. You also are pointing out that you can't cook so he has to get it right, and he can't cook because plenty of real men can cook. You are also pointing out that you and your DH are very young and have no real life experience if competency comes with ordering food right. Have a great time with your husbands who can order the food right, I'll take mine high earner and can fix anything useless guy, who screws up the take out order any day.

WTF? This pp is a loon. Her DH sounds like a Neanderthal and she seems to like it...

I wonder if it's a man posting in disguise, hoping to convert women into finding woefully inadequate men attractive?

No woman can actually like that shit.

Either that or it's just some very sad wife who realizes she's lost bad in the lottery of spouses and is drunk and trying to justify it to herself.


Either way, bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She was worried your DH will not order what she wants. You said she likes what she likes and probably knows your DH may not pay close attention to what she said she wants or he doesn't know and that may have happened before. My mom likes what she likes and heaven help us if somebody gets her order wrong. Men are known for not ordering exactly as told and they don't want to pay attention to what you are saying, like I don't want onions, but DH thinks it is too much trouble to tell no onions, no mushrooms, and I have no problem with it. The not paying was a bit weird, but maybe because she knew your DH would get it wrong and then she would be paying for something she doesn't want. Same for her, she is probably not sure what it is that she likes as you were the one who introduced her to Indian food and know what she likes. I don't let my DH order food either, kids and I are very picky and he always screws it up, always. Not maliciously, just doesn't pay attention. It is the same with all the men in my family.

+1. This is true for my DH, too. Easier to just order myself.

Don't project your incompetent husbands onto other people. OP has said hers was capable of doing this elementary school task.

Wow, your husband must be counting his blessing each and every minute he spends with you. God help him if he does order something wrong. Clearly in your marriage, he is the Stepford wife! You are clearly miserable and abusive wife to your DH. Oh, wait, I bet you don't have a husband...anymore. Or you are a beard wife.

NP. Your husband does sound incompetent and useless. Sorry, but who can't handle a takeout order? Don't be pissed at the other poster that you married a loser.

I am sorry to inform all of you women with "competent husbands" that you didn't marry real men. You married some metrosexual versions of men. Real man don't care about getting the take out right, they don't care about small details such as which juice is the exact right kind and which is not "right." You married Chevy Chase pale, can't BBQ men, can't fix electrical men, can' cut a tree men, can't fix a car or do anything physically demanding. You are also clueless about real marriage if you take pride in the fact that "your man" can get the order right. You also are pointing out that you can't cook so he has to get it right, and he can't cook because plenty of real men can cook. You are also pointing out that you and your DH are very young and have no real life experience if competency comes with ordering food right. Have a great time with your husbands who can order the food right, I'll take mine high earner and can fix anything useless guy, who screws up the take out order any day.

Auntie, time for bed. You've had too much white Zin.

Wow, this went off the rails fast. What the hell?

What the hell is exactly right. I pointed out the truth, that many men, including my husband can't order food for me and my picky kids right, and got attacked and had people call him incompetent and useless. I don't see a correlation between useless and messing up the take away unless you are a college student who orders food non stop.

My husband can cook out and fix electrical, he chopped up a dead tree that fell down in his mom's yard this weekend, does basic repairs on our cars, earns a high six figures and still manages to get the take-out order right. He even remembers to order extra baby corn for the kids with their chinese, which I never remember to do. Since this seems to be the score-keeping part of the thread, I guess I win.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, can you please explain why you refused to order? I get that your mom was being totally weird, but I don't get why you dug in your heels. Do you have takeout order anxiety, too? Or were you just enjoying the power struggle? Or what?

OP here. I was tired and cranky. I had just walked into the house after a rough day, hadn't even set my stuff down when she told me to order the food. I told her she could order it. Her response was that if I didn't order it, she wasn't buying it. I said it looks like it's leftovers then. DH said he'd order it. She repeated that if I didn't order it, she wasn't buying.

A whole lot of baggage was contained in that brief interaction. Was I being a crank? Yes, I was. Did I dig in my heels? I sure did. I know it can be difficult to understand why I reacted the way I did if you haven't grown up with a controlling/manipulative parent. If I had to do it over again, I'd do it the exact same way. What worked for her in the past is no longer effective. She needs to learn that.

It would have been better if you didn't react so badly. She still wins because now you will feel guilty and have to make up to her, she still got her way!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG. She sounds like a freaking nutcase.

Sorry you are going through this OP.

Oh the horror. How will OP ever survive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She was worried your DH will not order what she wants. You said she likes what she likes and probably knows your DH may not pay close attention to what she said she wants or he doesn't know and that may have happened before. My mom likes what she likes and heaven help us if somebody gets her order wrong. Men are known for not ordering exactly as told and they don't want to pay attention to what you are saying, like I don't want onions, but DH thinks it is too much trouble to tell no onions, no mushrooms, and I have no problem with it. The not paying was a bit weird, but maybe because she knew your DH would get it wrong and then she would be paying for something she doesn't want. Same for her, she is probably not sure what it is that she likes as you were the one who introduced her to Indian food and know what she likes. I don't let my DH order food either, kids and I are very picky and he always screws it up, always. Not maliciously, just doesn't pay attention. It is the same with all the men in my family.

+1. This is true for my DH, too. Easier to just order myself.

Don't project your incompetent husbands onto other people. OP has said hers was capable of doing this elementary school task.

Wow, your husband must be counting his blessing each and every minute he spends with you. God help him if he does order something wrong. Clearly in your marriage, he is the Stepford wife! You are clearly miserable and abusive wife to your DH. Oh, wait, I bet you don't have a husband...anymore. Or you are a beard wife.

NP. Your husband does sound incompetent and useless. Sorry, but who can't handle a takeout order? Don't be pissed at the other poster that you married a loser.

I am sorry to inform all of you women with "competent husbands" that you didn't marry real men. You married some metrosexual versions of men. Real man don't care about getting the take out right, they don't care about small details such as which juice is the exact right kind and which is not "right." You married Chevy Chase pale, can't BBQ men, can't fix electrical men, can' cut a tree men, can't fix a car or do anything physically demanding. You are also clueless about real marriage if you take pride in the fact that "your man" can get the order right. You also are pointing out that you can't cook so he has to get it right, and he can't cook because plenty of real men can cook. You are also pointing out that you and your DH are very young and have no real life experience if competency comes with ordering food right. Have a great time with your husbands who can order the food right, I'll take mine high earner and can fix anything useless guy, who screws up the take out order any day.

Auntie, time for bed. You've had too much white Zin.

Wow, this went off the rails fast. What the hell?

What the hell is exactly right. I pointed out the truth, that many men, including my husband can't order food for me and my picky kids right, and got attacked and had people call him incompetent and useless. I don't see a correlation between useless and messing up the take away unless you are a college student who orders food non stop.

My husband can cook out and fix electrical, he chopped up a dead tree that fell down in his mom's yard this weekend, does basic repairs on our cars, earns a high six figures and still manages to get the take-out order right. He even remembers to order extra baby corn for the kids with their chinese, which I never remember to do. Since this seems to be the score-keeping part of the thread, I guess I win.

NP here. No, I win. My husband rips through tree limbs with his bare hands. And yet he can't even chew food for himself- I have to do it for him, and then slowly regurgitate it into his mouth like a bird with her babies. And you know what? That makes him a REAL MAN. Incompetence is what makes a TRUE ALPHA. Which is why he also wears adult diapers. Because only a loser beta male knows how to use modern plumbing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She was worried your DH will not order what she wants. You said she likes what she likes and probably knows your DH may not pay close attention to what she said she wants or he doesn't know and that may have happened before. My mom likes what she likes and heaven help us if somebody gets her order wrong. Men are known for not ordering exactly as told and they don't want to pay attention to what you are saying, like I don't want onions, but DH thinks it is too much trouble to tell no onions, no mushrooms, and I have no problem with it. The not paying was a bit weird, but maybe because she knew your DH would get it wrong and then she would be paying for something she doesn't want. Same for her, she is probably not sure what it is that she likes as you were the one who introduced her to Indian food and know what she likes. I don't let my DH order food either, kids and I are very picky and he always screws it up, always. Not maliciously, just doesn't pay attention. It is the same with all the men in my family.

+1. This is true for my DH, too. Easier to just order myself.

Don't project your incompetent husbands onto other people. OP has said hers was capable of doing this elementary school task.

Wow, your husband must be counting his blessing each and every minute he spends with you. God help him if he does order something wrong. Clearly in your marriage, he is the Stepford wife! You are clearly miserable and abusive wife to your DH. Oh, wait, I bet you don't have a husband...anymore. Or you are a beard wife.

NP. Your husband does sound incompetent and useless. Sorry, but who can't handle a takeout order? Don't be pissed at the other poster that you married a loser.

I am sorry to inform all of you women with "competent husbands" that you didn't marry real men. You married some metrosexual versions of men. Real man don't care about getting the take out right, they don't care about small details such as which juice is the exact right kind and which is not "right." You married Chevy Chase pale, can't BBQ men, can't fix electrical men, can' cut a tree men, can't fix a car or do anything physically demanding. You are also clueless about real marriage if you take pride in the fact that "your man" can get the order right. You also are pointing out that you can't cook so he has to get it right, and he can't cook because plenty of real men can cook. You are also pointing out that you and your DH are very young and have no real life experience if competency comes with ordering food right. Have a great time with your husbands who can order the food right, I'll take mine high earner and can fix anything useless guy, who screws up the take out order any day.

Auntie, time for bed. You've had too much white Zin.

Wow, this went off the rails fast. What the hell?

What the hell is exactly right. I pointed out the truth, that many men, including my husband can't order food for me and my picky kids right, and got attacked and had people call him incompetent and useless. I don't see a correlation between useless and messing up the take away unless you are a college student who orders food non stop.

My husband can cook out and fix electrical, he chopped up a dead tree that fell down in his mom's yard this weekend, does basic repairs on our cars, earns a high six figures and still manages to get the take-out order right. He even remembers to order extra baby corn for the kids with their chinese, which I never remember to do. Since this seems to be the score-keeping part of the thread, I guess I win.

NP here. No, I win. My husband rips through tree limbs with his bare hands. And yet he can't even chew food for himself- I have to do it for him, and then slowly regurgitate it into his mouth like a bird with her babies. And you know what? That makes him a REAL MAN. Incompetence is what makes a TRUE ALPHA. Which is why he also wears adult diapers. Because only a loser beta male knows how to use modern plumbing.

PP here, I concede. And now I'm going to go clean up the pretzel I just spit all over my screen laughing.

[Anonymous]

OP, I think while your mom has some issues, the whole thing escalated because of you. Yes, you say you were cranky, you just walked in. This is how I see the situation, you walked in, she said If you call to order the food, I'll pay for it. You refused to make a simple phone call and dug your heels in. Then DH offered to order, then your mom took an issue with that, not with DH, but with your refusal to do such a simple thing, and then she dug her heels in. It is a no win situation over a very small matter. I suggest now, you just gloss over it and forget it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was she just trying to control you, or was she intimidated to call in the order and thought you'd get her order right while your husband might not?

I'm having a hard time understanding why you picked this hill to die on.

I'm having a hard time understanding why you'd let people walk all over you.

Wow. You people are dumb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She was worried your DH will not order what she wants. You said she likes what she likes and probably knows your DH may not pay close attention to what she said she wants or he doesn't know and that may have happened before. My mom likes what she likes and heaven help us if somebody gets her order wrong. Men are known for not ordering exactly as told and they don't want to pay attention to what you are saying, like I don't want onions, but DH thinks it is too much trouble to tell no onions, no mushrooms, and I have no problem with it. The not paying was a bit weird, but maybe because she knew your DH would get it wrong and then she would be paying for something she doesn't want. Same for her, she is probably not sure what it is that she likes as you were the one who introduced her to Indian food and know what she likes. I don't let my DH order food either, kids and I are very picky and he always screws it up, always. Not maliciously, just doesn't pay attention. It is the same with all the men in my family.

+1. This is true for my DH, too. Easier to just order myself.

Don't project your incompetent husbands onto other people. OP has said hers was capable of doing this elementary school task.

Wow, your husband must be counting his blessing each and every minute he spends with you. God help him if he does order something wrong. Clearly in your marriage, he is the Stepford wife! You are clearly miserable and abusive wife to your DH. Oh, wait, I bet you don't have a husband...anymore. Or you are a beard wife.

NP. Your husband does sound incompetent and useless. Sorry, but who can't handle a takeout order? Don't be pissed at the other poster that you married a loser.

I am sorry to inform all of you women with "competent husbands" that you didn't marry real men. You married some metrosexual versions of men. Real man don't care about getting the take out right, they don't care about small details such as which juice is the exact right kind and which is not "right." You married Chevy Chase pale, can't BBQ men, can't fix electrical men, can' cut a tree men, can't fix a car or do anything physically demanding. You are also clueless about real marriage if you take pride in the fact that "your man" can get the order right. You also are pointing out that you can't cook so he has to get it right, and he can't cook because plenty of real men can cook. You are also pointing out that you and your DH are very young and have no real life experience if competency comes with ordering food right. Have a great time with your husbands who can order the food right, I'll take mine high earner and can fix anything useless guy, who screws up the take out order any day.

WTF? This pp is a loon. Her DH sounds like a Neanderthal and she seems to like it...

I wonder if it's a man posting in disguise, hoping to convert women into finding woefully inadequate men attractive?

No woman can actually like that shit.

Either that or it's just some very sad wife who realizes she's lost bad in the lottery of spouses and is drunk and trying to justify it to herself.


Either way, bad.

It's probably one of the never-married MRA/MGTOW types.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think while your mom has some issues, the whole thing escalated because of you. Yes, you say you were cranky, you just walked in. This is how I see the situation, you walked in, she said If you call to order the food, I'll pay for it. You refused to make a simple phone call and dug your heels in. Then DH offered to order, then your mom took an issue with that, not with DH, but with your refusal to do such a simple thing, and then she dug her heels in. It is a no win situation over a very small matter. I suggest now, you just gloss over it and forget it.

Furthermore, I bet OP hates-hates-hates phoning in takeout orders and her mother is fed up with her grown daughter being disfunctional in this regard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, good for you for standing up to her.

The people attacking you here have never had to deal with an abusive parent.

If she is abusive, you don't invite her into your home.

Period.

It must be nice to have a life that's so black and white. In this case, the mother is a good grandmother. Some of us who have abusive parents who are actually good grandparents try to find some balance so that we can maintain our sanity and boundaries while not depriving our children of grandparents.

Some of the lives of these DCUMers must be so great and protected. None of them have any clue at all about the dynamics of abuse. Meanwhile, those of us who grew up with it know EXACTLY what OP is going through.

[Anonymous]

Yep, unless you have a mother who wants to exert control over you any way she can, you don't understand.

One of my last memories of my mom is her fussing at me because I did not follow her incorrect directions to the nursing home--"you never listen to me, everything would be fine if you did everything the way I tell you to." I gave up and went the way she wanted, just to placate her, and then she got mad at me because it was the wrong way. Sigh. She did not have dementia, she was just like this with me most of my life.

OP, bet your Mom had some weird, only-making-sense-to-her reason ONLY you could place the call. Once you refused to be controlled and she couldn't bribe you into it, she probably realized it made no sense and now doens't want to talk about it.