Mother refused to order take out unless I called in the order

[Anonymous]

Weird, for sure.

But also, not that big a deal. You both sound immature - her with her control freak issues, and you huffing and puffing about fine, we will eat leftovers! Instead of just ordering or offering to pay.

Your mom is whacko. Chalk it up to old age and move on.

[Anonymous]

I understand and it is strange to me no one else does. It sounds like a kind of narcissism where she wants you to take care of her. It is also a way of undercutting you as a working woman. Was she asking you to do things for her a lot as a kid? Does she feel like other things in your life take you away from caring for her needs?

[Anonymous]

OMG. She sounds like a freaking nutcase.

Sorry you are going through this OP.

[Anonymous]

[vimeo]

Anonymous wrote:I understand and it is strange to me no one else does. It sounds like a kind of narcissism where she wants you to take care of her. It is also a way of undercutting you as a working woman. Was she asking you to do things for her a lot as a kid? Does she feel like other things in your life take you away from caring for her needs?

+1


Then again, DCUM is full of miserable judgmental assholes, the sky is blue, bear shits in woods, news at 11. But also unless you have a loon for a mother, you wouldn't understand how this is a constant thing and how standing up for yourself is necessary for your sanity, sense of self, and boundaries. And Lord knows if you agree to do it it's like blood in the water and they will ramp up the ridiculous requests.

Good for you for standing your ground OP. I'm proud for you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She was worried your DH will not order what she wants. You said she likes what she likes and probably knows your DH may not pay close attention to what she said she wants or he doesn't know and that may have happened before. My mom likes what she likes and heaven help us if somebody gets her order wrong. Men are known for not ordering exactly as told and they don't want to pay attention to what you are saying, like I don't want onions, but DH thinks it is too much trouble to tell no onions, no mushrooms, and I have no problem with it. The not paying was a bit weird, but maybe because she knew your DH would get it wrong and then she would be paying for something she doesn't want. Same for her, she is probably not sure what it is that she likes as you were the one who introduced her to Indian food and know what she likes. I don't let my DH order food either, kids and I are very picky and he always screws it up, always. Not maliciously, just doesn't pay attention. It is the same with all the men in my family.

+1. This is true for my DH, too. Easier to just order myself.

Don't project your incompetent husbands onto other people. OP has said hers was capable of doing this elementary school task.

Wow, your husband must be counting his blessing each and every minute he spends with you. God help him if he does order something wrong. Clearly in your marriage, he is the Stepford wife! You are clearly miserable and abusive wife to your DH. Oh, wait, I bet you don't have a husband...anymore. Or you are a beard wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mother has been visiting for the last few weeks. She's a much better grandmother than she was a mother. But, DH actually gets along quite well with her and has no problems with her lengthy visits. She texted me at work today and said she'd buy Indian food tonight for dinner. We introduced her to it and she really likes it from this particular place near us. Long story short, she stated that unless I ordered it, she wasn't going to pay for it. DH pipes up and said he'd call to order it but she said, 'No. If Larla doesn't order it, I'm not buying'. I said 'looks like leftovers then'. DH says, 'You're kidding me? You won't buy it because Larla won't order it?' She said, 'We've got plenty of other things to eat.'

My mother eventually relented and DH ordered but leftovers were far more appealing to me tonight. DH came in later and asked WTF was all that about. I just told him he'd gotten a glimpse of what our interactions when I was growing up. Except, I now I had more choices and options.

Can you believe that shit? Unless 'I' ordered the food she wasn't buying it.

How is her hearing? Serious inquiry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She was worried your DH will not order what she wants. You said she likes what she likes and probably knows your DH may not pay close attention to what she said she wants or he doesn't know and that may have happened before. My mom likes what she likes and heaven help us if somebody gets her order wrong. Men are known for not ordering exactly as told and they don't want to pay attention to what you are saying, like I don't want onions, but DH thinks it is too much trouble to tell no onions, no mushrooms, and I have no problem with it. The not paying was a bit weird, but maybe because she knew your DH would get it wrong and then she would be paying for something she doesn't want. Same for her, she is probably not sure what it is that she likes as you were the one who introduced her to Indian food and know what she likes. I don't let my DH order food either, kids and I are very picky and he always screws it up, always. Not maliciously, just doesn't pay attention. It is the same with all the men in my family.

+1. This is true for my DH, too. Easier to just order myself.

Don't project your incompetent husbands onto other people. OP has said hers was capable of doing this elementary school task.

Wow, your husband must be counting his blessing each and every minute he spends with you. God help him if he does order something wrong. Clearly in your marriage, he is the Stepford wife! You are clearly miserable and abusive wife to your DH. Oh, wait, I bet you don't have a husband...anymore. Or you are a beard wife.

NP. Your husband does sound incompetent and useless. Sorry, but who can't handle a takeout order? Don't be pissed at the other poster that you married a loser.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She was worried your DH will not order what she wants. You said she likes what she likes and probably knows your DH may not pay close attention to what she said she wants or he doesn't know and that may have happened before. My mom likes what she likes and heaven help us if somebody gets her order wrong. Men are known for not ordering exactly as told and they don't want to pay attention to what you are saying, like I don't want onions, but DH thinks it is too much trouble to tell no onions, no mushrooms, and I have no problem with it. The not paying was a bit weird, but maybe because she knew your DH would get it wrong and then she would be paying for something she doesn't want. Same for her, she is probably not sure what it is that she likes as you were the one who introduced her to Indian food and know what she likes. I don't let my DH order food either, kids and I are very picky and he always screws it up, always. Not maliciously, just doesn't pay attention. It is the same with all the men in my family.

+1. This is true for my DH, too. Easier to just order myself.

Don't project your incompetent husbands onto other people. OP has said hers was capable of doing this elementary school task.

Wow, your husband must be counting his blessing each and every minute he spends with you. God help him if he does order something wrong. Clearly in your marriage, he is the Stepford wife! You are clearly miserable and abusive wife to your DH. Oh, wait, I bet you don't have a husband...anymore. Or you are a beard wife.

NP. Your husband does sound incompetent and useless. Sorry, but who can't handle a takeout order? Don't be pissed at the other poster that you married a loser.

I am sorry to inform all of you women with "competent husbands" that you didn't marry real men. You married some metrosexual versions of men. Real man don't care about getting the take out right, they don't care about small details such as which juice is the exact right kind and which is not "right." You married Chevy Chase pale, can't BBQ men, can't fix electrical men, can' cut a tree men, can't fix a car or do anything physically demanding. You are also clueless about real marriage if you take pride in the fact that "your man" can get the order right. You also are pointing out that you can't cook so he has to get it right, and he can't cook because plenty of real men can cook. You are also pointing out that you and your DH are very young and have no real life experience if competency comes with ordering food right. Have a great time with your husbands who can order the food right, I'll take mine high earner and can fix anything useless guy, who screws up the take out order any day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She was worried your DH will not order what she wants. You said she likes what she likes and probably knows your DH may not pay close attention to what she said she wants or he doesn't know and that may have happened before. My mom likes what she likes and heaven help us if somebody gets her order wrong. Men are known for not ordering exactly as told and they don't want to pay attention to what you are saying, like I don't want onions, but DH thinks it is too much trouble to tell no onions, no mushrooms, and I have no problem with it. The not paying was a bit weird, but maybe because she knew your DH would get it wrong and then she would be paying for something she doesn't want. Same for her, she is probably not sure what it is that she likes as you were the one who introduced her to Indian food and know what she likes. I don't let my DH order food either, kids and I are very picky and he always screws it up, always. Not maliciously, just doesn't pay attention. It is the same with all the men in my family.

+1. This is true for my DH, too. Easier to just order myself.

Don't project your incompetent husbands onto other people. OP has said hers was capable of doing this elementary school task.

Wow, your husband must be counting his blessing each and every minute he spends with you. God help him if he does order something wrong. Clearly in your marriage, he is the Stepford wife! You are clearly miserable and abusive wife to your DH. Oh, wait, I bet you don't have a husband...anymore. Or you are a beard wife.

NP. Your husband does sound incompetent and useless. Sorry, but who can't handle a takeout order? Don't be pissed at the other poster that you married a loser.

I am sorry to inform all of you women with "competent husbands" that you didn't marry real men. You married some metrosexual versions of men. Real man don't care about getting the take out right, they don't care about small details such as which juice is the exact right kind and which is not "right." You married Chevy Chase pale, can't BBQ men, can't fix electrical men, can' cut a tree men, can't fix a car or do anything physically demanding. You are also clueless about real marriage if you take pride in the fact that "your man" can get the order right. You also are pointing out that you can't cook so he has to get it right, and he can't cook because plenty of real men can cook. You are also pointing out that you and your DH are very young and have no real life experience if competency comes with ordering food right. Have a great time with your husbands who can order the food right, I'll take mine high earner and can fix anything useless guy, who screws up the take out order any day.

Auntie, time for bed. You've had too much white Zin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She was worried your DH will not order what she wants. You said she likes what she likes and probably knows your DH may not pay close attention to what she said she wants or he doesn't know and that may have happened before. My mom likes what she likes and heaven help us if somebody gets her order wrong. Men are known for not ordering exactly as told and they don't want to pay attention to what you are saying, like I don't want onions, but DH thinks it is too much trouble to tell no onions, no mushrooms, and I have no problem with it. The not paying was a bit weird, but maybe because she knew your DH would get it wrong and then she would be paying for something she doesn't want. Same for her, she is probably not sure what it is that she likes as you were the one who introduced her to Indian food and know what she likes. I don't let my DH order food either, kids and I are very picky and he always screws it up, always. Not maliciously, just doesn't pay attention. It is the same with all the men in my family.

+1. This is true for my DH, too. Easier to just order myself.

Don't project your incompetent husbands onto other people. OP has said hers was capable of doing this elementary school task.

Wow, your husband must be counting his blessing each and every minute he spends with you. God help him if he does order something wrong. Clearly in your marriage, he is the Stepford wife! You are clearly miserable and abusive wife to your DH. Oh, wait, I bet you don't have a husband...anymore. Or you are a beard wife.

NP. Your husband does sound incompetent and useless. Sorry, but who can't handle a takeout order? Don't be pissed at the other poster that you married a loser.

I am sorry to inform all of you women with "competent husbands" that you didn't marry real men. You married some metrosexual versions of men. Real man don't care about getting the take out right, they don't care about small details such as which juice is the exact right kind and which is not "right." You married Chevy Chase pale, can't BBQ men, can't fix electrical men, can' cut a tree men, can't fix a car or do anything physically demanding. You are also clueless about real marriage if you take pride in the fact that "your man" can get the order right. You also are pointing out that you can't cook so he has to get it right, and he can't cook because plenty of real men can cook. You are also pointing out that you and your DH are very young and have no real life experience if competency comes with ordering food right. Have a great time with your husbands who can order the food right, I'll take mine high earner and can fix anything useless guy, who screws up the take out order any day.

Bahahahaha. Yes, a mark of a "real man" is total incompetence with a simple task like picking up his phone and placing a food order. A level of self sufficiency bordering on infant level wherein if a woman wasn't around to either cook a meal or order one in, he would literally starve to death.

I think they made a Clint Eastwood movie about that very subject- Battle at Ling Ling's Chinese.

When they were drafting the character of Superman, they almost made ordering takeout his one weakness- before going with the more distinctive "kryptonite".

Oh yes, incompetence at a daily task that children manage to figure out- man. If only we were ALL that lucky. Sigh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She was worried your DH will not order what she wants. You said she likes what she likes and probably knows your DH may not pay close attention to what she said she wants or he doesn't know and that may have happened before. My mom likes what she likes and heaven help us if somebody gets her order wrong. Men are known for not ordering exactly as told and they don't want to pay attention to what you are saying, like I don't want onions, but DH thinks it is too much trouble to tell no onions, no mushrooms, and I have no problem with it. The not paying was a bit weird, but maybe because she knew your DH would get it wrong and then she would be paying for something she doesn't want. Same for her, she is probably not sure what it is that she likes as you were the one who introduced her to Indian food and know what she likes. I don't let my DH order food either, kids and I are very picky and he always screws it up, always. Not maliciously, just doesn't pay attention. It is the same with all the men in my family.

+1. This is true for my DH, too. Easier to just order myself.

Don't project your incompetent husbands onto other people. OP has said hers was capable of doing this elementary school task.

Wow, your husband must be counting his blessing each and every minute he spends with you. God help him if he does order something wrong. Clearly in your marriage, he is the Stepford wife! You are clearly miserable and abusive wife to your DH. Oh, wait, I bet you don't have a husband...anymore. Or you are a beard wife.

NP. Your husband does sound incompetent and useless. Sorry, but who can't handle a takeout order? Don't be pissed at the other poster that you married a loser.

I am sorry to inform all of you women with "competent husbands" that you didn't marry real men. You married some metrosexual versions of men. Real man don't care about getting the take out right, they don't care about small details such as which juice is the exact right kind and which is not "right." You married Chevy Chase pale, can't BBQ men, can't fix electrical men, can' cut a tree men, can't fix a car or do anything physically demanding. You are also clueless about real marriage if you take pride in the fact that "your man" can get the order right. You also are pointing out that you can't cook so he has to get it right, and he can't cook because plenty of real men can cook. You are also pointing out that you and your DH are very young and have no real life experience if competency comes with ordering food right. Have a great time with your husbands who can order the food right, I'll take mine high earner and can fix anything useless guy, who screws up the take out order any day.

Auntie, time for bed. You've had too much white Zin.

Wow, this went off the rails fast. What the hell?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe she was afraid of mispronouncing the names of Indian food. Maybe she can't see very well to read the menu, or hear well enough to speak on the phone (especially to someone with an Indian accent).

But she didn't want op's dh to do the order either. That's the weird controlling bit.

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She was worried your DH will not order what she wants. You said she likes what she likes and probably knows your DH may not pay close attention to what she said she wants or he doesn't know and that may have happened before. My mom likes what she likes and heaven help us if somebody gets her order wrong. Men are known for not ordering exactly as told and they don't want to pay attention to what you are saying, like I don't want onions, but DH thinks it is too much trouble to tell no onions, no mushrooms, and I have no problem with it. The not paying was a bit weird, but maybe because she knew your DH would get it wrong and then she would be paying for something she doesn't want. Same for her, she is probably not sure what it is that she likes as you were the one who introduced her to Indian food and know what she likes. I don't let my DH order food either, kids and I are very picky and he always screws it up, always. Not maliciously, just doesn't pay attention. It is the same with all the men in my family.

+1. This is true for my DH, too. Easier to just order myself.

Don't project your incompetent husbands onto other people. OP has said hers was capable of doing this elementary school task.

Wow, your husband must be counting his blessing each and every minute he spends with you. God help him if he does order something wrong. Clearly in your marriage, he is the Stepford wife! You are clearly miserable and abusive wife to your DH. Oh, wait, I bet you don't have a husband...anymore. Or you are a beard wife.

NP. Your husband does sound incompetent and useless. Sorry, but who can't handle a takeout order? Don't be pissed at the other poster that you married a loser.

I am sorry to inform all of you women with "competent husbands" that you didn't marry real men. You married some metrosexual versions of men. Real man don't care about getting the take out right, they don't care about small details such as which juice is the exact right kind and which is not "right." You married Chevy Chase pale, can't BBQ men, can't fix electrical men, can' cut a tree men, can't fix a car or do anything physically demanding. You are also clueless about real marriage if you take pride in the fact that "your man" can get the order right. You also are pointing out that you can't cook so he has to get it right, and he can't cook because plenty of real men can cook. You are also pointing out that you and your DH are very young and have no real life experience if competency comes with ordering food right. Have a great time with your husbands who can order the food right, I'll take mine high earner and can fix anything useless guy, who screws up the take out order any day.

Auntie, time for bed. You've had too much white Zin.

At least I can legally have it, whereas you can't.

[Anonymous]

I sympathize with your frustration, Oh So Much, OP. When these interactions are regular occurrences, they suck the joy out of life.

Your mother probably has an anxiety disorder and hasn't learned constructive ways to receive positive attention.

I don't budge an inch. I suffered enough when I was a kid and a dependent, now, as you said, we both have options!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She was worried your DH will not order what she wants. You said she likes what she likes and probably knows your DH may not pay close attention to what she said she wants or he doesn't know and that may have happened before. My mom likes what she likes and heaven help us if somebody gets her order wrong. Men are known for not ordering exactly as told and they don't want to pay attention to what you are saying, like I don't want onions, but DH thinks it is too much trouble to tell no onions, no mushrooms, and I have no problem with it. The not paying was a bit weird, but maybe because she knew your DH would get it wrong and then she would be paying for something she doesn't want. Same for her, she is probably not sure what it is that she likes as you were the one who introduced her to Indian food and know what she likes. I don't let my DH order food either, kids and I are very picky and he always screws it up, always. Not maliciously, just doesn't pay attention. It is the same with all the men in my family.

+1. This is true for my DH, too. Easier to just order myself.

Don't project your incompetent husbands onto other people. OP has said hers was capable of doing this elementary school task.

Wow, your husband must be counting his blessing each and every minute he spends with you. God help him if he does order something wrong. Clearly in your marriage, he is the Stepford wife! You are clearly miserable and abusive wife to your DH. Oh, wait, I bet you don't have a husband...anymore. Or you are a beard wife.

NP. Your husband does sound incompetent and useless. Sorry, but who can't handle a takeout order? Don't be pissed at the other poster that you married a loser.

I am sorry to inform all of you women with "competent husbands" that you didn't marry real men. You married some metrosexual versions of men. Real man don't care about getting the take out right, they don't care about small details such as which juice is the exact right kind and which is not "right." You married Chevy Chase pale, can't BBQ men, can't fix electrical men, can' cut a tree men, can't fix a car or do anything physically demanding. You are also clueless about real marriage if you take pride in the fact that "your man" can get the order right. You also are pointing out that you can't cook so he has to get it right, and he can't cook because plenty of real men can cook. You are also pointing out that you and your DH are very young and have no real life experience if competency comes with ordering food right. Have a great time with your husbands who can order the food right, I'll take mine high earner and can fix anything useless guy, who screws up the take out order any day.

Auntie, time for bed. You've had too much white Zin.

At least I can legally have it, whereas you can't.

Sweetie, step away from the computer. You're making a fool of yourself. NP, btw.