What happens to extroverted, controlling, bossy little girls down the line?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I be some a lobbyist ?

I hate autocorrect. Anyway, I became a lobbyist. It works with that type of personality.

Who you be lobby?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I be some a lobbyist ?

I hate autocorrect. Anyway, I became a lobbyist. It works with that type of personality.

Who you be lobby?

I became a lobbyist too!

healthcare might be the answer to the question "Who you be lobby" but I"m not sure.

[Anonymous]

OP: thanks for all the feedback. Interesting how some things came up that I never thought were relevant (looks).

My daughter is actually very beautiful and I'm not just saying that as her mom. She's just genetically lucky in that regard and will probably end up to be a stunning adult. But again I am not sure that is relevant.

She is not a bossy jerk. If a child gets hurt on the playground, she is the first to run over to see how she can make them feel better. She really does care about others and can empathize.

I think it's more of an annoying bossiness. "Jane, you use the blue crayon to color Elsa while I color Anna's cape green." If Jane wants Elsa to be red today, that will not be acceptable and dd will not shut up until Jane is coloring Elsas cape in the most perfect frozen esque blue in the crayon box. Or if Jane wants to color her own picture of Cinderella...
Not happening. I've never really seen her get into a showdown with another child because she is so bossy that they all just listen.

At home, she does not run the show, but there are a lot of tears and a lot of screaming matches and dramatics and tantrums. But no- she does not run the show at home.. not for lack of trying though.

[Anonymous]

Just focus on making sure she is being kind - I wouldn't worry too much about the bossiness. If she drives other kids away with her bossiness, she will learn to rein it in.

Also consider whether the same behaviors would bother you if she were a boy (not saying they wouldn't - just a good thought exercise).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: thanks for all the feedback. Interesting how some things came up that I never thought were relevant (looks).

My daughter is actually very beautiful and I'm not just saying that as her mom. She's just genetically lucky in that regard and will probably end up to be a stunning adult. But again I am not sure that is relevant.

She is not a bossy jerk. If a child gets hurt on the playground, she is the first to run over to see how she can make them feel better. She really does care about others and can empathize.

I think it's more of an annoying bossiness. "Jane, you use the blue crayon to color Elsa while I color Anna's cape green." If Jane wants Elsa to be red today, that will not be acceptable and dd will not shut up until Jane is coloring Elsas cape in the most perfect frozen esque blue in the crayon box. Or if Jane wants to color her own picture of Cinderella...
Not happening. I've never really seen her get into a showdown with another child because she is so bossy that they all just listen.

At home, she does not run the show, but there are a lot of tears and a lot of screaming matches and dramatics and tantrums. But no- she does not run the show at home.. not for lack of trying though.

I think positive peer pressure will shut the domineering aspects down over time, hopefully retaining her engagement and any leadership associated with her temperament.

[Anonymous]

All you have to do is look in the mirror to see what she will turn out like. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All you have to do is look in the mirror to see what she will turn out like. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

haha! probably true. And she's probably already in front of the mirror given how "gorgeous" she is...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am like that... I am a project manager so I still boss people around.

I have a strong sense of morals so I tended to defend the kids that were being bullied. I actually got an award at school because I stood up to a girl that was bullying a girl I didn't even know.

I also have a son that is this way and he has stood up to many bullies in his years at school.

I say to my son you have a gift ... you need to use it for good not evil.

At work, I read lots of books on communication and leadership to understand the difference between being assertive and aggressive.

i love this! i see a lot of bossy kids. they seem to be a dime a dozen. rare is the bossy kid who uses his/her skills for good ends. so, i would encourage what this PP said. Teach a strong moral background. stand up for what is right. it takes so much courage that most children, and even, adults aren't brave enough to do so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know where she got this from (just kidding- dad and I both have strong personalities and are go-getter types) but over the last year or two, my 5 year old's personality has really emerged, for better or worse.

-Extremely extroverted and thrives on social interaction.
-Kind, but intensely competitive at the same time
-Bossy- very, very, very bossy
-Very bright
-Analytical in the kindergartener sense- thinks about the "why's" and the "how's" and tries to get around things, very quick to point out rules/policies/actions that don't make sense to her

I'm curious if anyone had a little girl like this and what they ended up to be like as an adolescent or young adult. I am not sure how to encourage the good while also shutting down the bad. I have Sheryl Sandberg in the back of my head, saying that we shouldn't refer to little girls as bossy.. but she really is bossy, and I'm afraid this is going to hurt her socially. I guess I'm just not sure what to expect as a parent. I know there are plenty of other kids with this personality type, I just don't know any of them personally.

Thanks.

There was a PP who said that this may not be a permanent thing, and I want to agree with that. What makes you label this as her personality? I'm not sure how much of this you can attribute to personality and how much is a developmental stage your daughter is working through-- it's a combination of both. I would read "Your Six Year Old: Loving and Defiant" and not label my child just yet or begin wondering about her future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They often get the spunk smacked out of them by living in the patriarchal society we do. Sorry.

OP: In some ways (I feel badly saying this, but I'm trying to be realistic) - I don't know that a little bit of that would be so bad. She cannot boss the entire world around at 5 years old. Maybe in 35 years (maybe?) she can start bossing people around at work, but that's a long time from now. I don't think her teachers and peers are going to appreciate being told what to do every minute. As her mother, I know I don't. This is not the "Life According to DD" show. I don't know how to emphasize that without going too far.

Who lets her rule the world now? You're creating your own monster

[Anonymous]

Wow op, I feel bad for your kid. Let her be herself, not your twisted idea of what a girl should be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know where she got this from (just kidding- dad and I both have strong personalities and are go-getter types) but over the last year or two, my 5 year old's personality has really emerged, for better or worse.

-Extremely extroverted and thrives on social interaction.
-Kind, but intensely competitive at the same time
-Bossy- very, very, very bossy
-Very bright
-Analytical in the kindergartener sense- thinks about the "why's" and the "how's" and tries to get around things, very quick to point out rules/policies/actions that don't make sense to her

I'm curious if anyone had a little girl like this and what they ended up to be like as an adolescent or young adult. I am not sure how to encourage the good while also shutting down the bad. I have Sheryl Sandberg in the back of my head, saying that we shouldn't refer to little girls as bossy.. but she really is bossy, and I'm afraid this is going to hurt her socially. I guess I'm just not sure what to expect as a parent. I know there are plenty of other kids with this personality type, I just don't know any of them personally.

Thanks.

They grow up to be academic superstars, convert their smarts into big law partnership, and bank fat stacks of cash while never again talking to the asshole, misogynistic parents who called them names like "bossy."

Or at least that's my story.

Sounds like a fairy tale.

My life is pretty great. Bossy women get it done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was a bossy kid -

My parents were called into school often because I didn't want to follow the rules. The principal of my school told my mother my "big mouth would get me into trouble" and "I needed to learn my place as a young lady"

Lucky for me, my mother didn't listen to that crap.

I have a loving husband, great group of friends, and I am a very successful at my job.

My parents did have pretty sucky teenage years with me.

So you didn't follow the rules at school and your mom didn't care? Sad

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know where she got this from (just kidding- dad and I both have strong personalities and are go-getter types) but over the last year or two, my 5 year old's personality has really emerged, for better or worse.

-Extremely extroverted and thrives on social interaction.
-Kind, but intensely competitive at the same time
-Bossy- very, very, very bossy
-Very bright
-Analytical in the kindergartener sense- thinks about the "why's" and the "how's" and tries to get around things, very quick to point out rules/policies/actions that don't make sense to her

I'm curious if anyone had a little girl like this and what they ended up to be like as an adolescent or young adult. I am not sure how to encourage the good while also shutting down the bad. I have Sheryl Sandberg in the back of my head, saying that we shouldn't refer to little girls as bossy.. but she really is bossy, and I'm afraid this is going to hurt her socially. I guess I'm just not sure what to expect as a parent. I know there are plenty of other kids with this personality type, I just don't know any of them personally.

Thanks.

They grow up to be academic superstars, convert their smarts into big law partnership, and bank fat stacks of cash while never again talking to the asshole, misogynistic parents who called them names like "bossy."

Or at least that's my story.

Sounds like a fairy tale.

My life is pretty great. Bossy women get it done.

Bossy woman must not have common sense - missing some sarcasm there.

[Anonymous]

I was her. VP of sales now. High earner, ball buster.