Girls being physically aggressive with boys in school - "you can't hit me back bc I'm a girl!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kind of Mad Max style schools do your kids attend where these marauding girls are routinely assaulting your kids, to the extent you've developed a "take-down" plan for when they come for your child? ("Put her on the ground" pp? Wtf?)

How's life in the upper class?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kind of Mad Max style schools do your kids attend where these marauding girls are routinely assaulting your kids, to the extent you've developed a "take-down" plan for when they come for your child? ("Put her on the ground" pp? Wtf?)

How's life in the upper class?

My kids are at Title I schools and we don't see this. This sounds like the posters who claim 6th graders are beating up head start kids while the teachers ignore it.

If this is happening, you have a school system problem, not a girl problem. I would be really concerned about the level of teacher involvement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. For the most part, my boys have come to understand that they need to stay away (though often the girls are chasing them, like I said it's often a ploy for their attention), and they sometimes tell the teacher. There is the aspect of not wanting to appear like a wimp, so there is reluctance to do that.

I'm more interested in hearing why girls think it's okay to do this.

Based on many responses so far, it's sadly become clear that they learn from their parents that it's okay, and impressed upon the girls that the MOST important thing is making sure the boys know their place and put up with it.

Point me to one person on this board who said that. One. Oh, you can't? Then fuck off. People are pointing out that (1) hitting girls can get boys, who are often bigger and stronger, in a lot of trouble, and (2) hitting is wrong even if you are hit first. Are these boys really in so much danger from these girls that they need to resort to violence to fend them off, or can they just walk away? If the latter, then that's what they should do.

Nice language, lol. I'm talking about the comments like: "They're right. They shouldn't hit girls. Deal with it." "This is not an issue." Several people early on commented and ignored the issue of the girls hitting the boys, but went straight to what the boys had better not do about it. I had already addressed that my boys hitting back was not the issue, but they wanted to focus on that rather than the problem.

OP's post was about what her boys should do. Not about what she can do to address the girls' hitting.

OP here. No, actually I wasn't asking what my boys should do. They know what to do. I was asking why this is so prevalent. Has it always been? Do others see it, too? And why it seems to be acceptable where if it were turned around, the boys would be dealt with severely. Teachers do seem to turn a blind eye to this with girls. And they can't always "walk away" because it happens under the desks in the classroom, for example.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn't actually a problem, OP.

Violence against women? Now, there's a problem.

Your boys will survive this.

It is a problem when ANYONE, boy or girl, is subject to being hit, kicked, poked, or pinched at school. Everyone has a right to be free from violence and to protect their own body.

I have told my sons very clearly that they should NEVER hit a girl or woman first, but if she hits you, put her on the floor and then get away from her. Do what you have to do to protect your body.

Oh, simmer the fuck down you MRA nut

LOL

I am a woman and probably one of the most feminist people on this board. I don't tolerate violence, though, in any form from any one. I don't expect my boys to tolerate it either. If a person is physically violent, then they have earned a physically violent response.

Then I guess you do tolerate physical violence.

The use of violence in self-defense is necessary. I suppose I do tolerate the use of violence in self-defense.

Is your child's life in danger from these girls? Can your DS not walk away, or talk to a teacher? No skills? Just fists? Hard to respect people who act like cavemen.

Would you say that if it was a girl bullied by girls? These are kids still learning social skills. Bullying is a problem be it either gender.

Yes, bullying is a problem. But we don't teach our children to deal with bullies by hitting them. There are many other options. If you want your kids to hit, I guess you have your excuse, but I dont' want my boys hitting people. I am against that behavior.

No, there aren't. Just read all of the people on this board who think it's funny that a woman engages in domestic violence against a man, or who say it's not serious if the girls are hitting the boys. People like that aren't going to respond if a boy complains that he is being hit and bullied by a group of girls.

Yes, I do respond. I tell my SON to stay away from her, I ask why he thinks she does shit like that, I tell him to tell her he likes her less and less the more she acts like that, etc. I teach my own child how to navigate the situation. Girl is an asshole. There will be many others in life, unfortunately. I can teach my own kid how to handle assholes in life in the way I expect him to (non-violently). He is doing a stellar job.

I wonder what you see for your DS's future, like what kind of a job can you have when you deal with assholes by "putting them on the floor"? I really don't know.

Not what I said. My boys aren't allowed to hit first. If someone hits them -- girl or boy-- they are instructed to put that person on the floor and then get away from them. You don't deal with assholes by hitting them. You do deal with someone who hits you by putting them on the floor.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like bullying and girls live to do that. Maybe your school has a no bullying policy? They most likely have a no violence policy. The good thing about this is it is physical and easy to prove. So you should be able to get these girl suspended at a minimum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kind of Mad Max style schools do your kids attend where these marauding girls are routinely assaulting your kids, to the extent you've developed a "take-down" plan for when they come for your child? ("Put her on the ground" pp? Wtf?)

OP. I don't have a plan, lol. My boys aren't permitted to return the abuse and wouldn't even think to do so. It's a regular FCPS elementary. It's not a daily occurrence. It's a way to get attention from boys, so maybe my sons are just extra cute.

That is actually pretty sick.

OP. Sorry you think it's sick, but one teacher told me in a conference that it was the girl's way of flirting with my 5th grade son because it was obvious she had a crush on him. Another girl who likes to kick my 4th grader under the desk also sends him love notes. What am I to think?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. For the most part, my boys have come to understand that they need to stay away (though often the girls are chasing them, like I said it's often a ploy for their attention), and they sometimes tell the teacher. There is the aspect of not wanting to appear like a wimp, so there is reluctance to do that.

I'm more interested in hearing why girls think it's okay to do this.

Based on many responses so far, it's sadly become clear that they learn from their parents that it's okay, and impressed upon the girls that the MOST important thing is making sure the boys know their place and put up with it.

Point me to one person on this board who said that. One. Oh, you can't? Then fuck off. People are pointing out that (1) hitting girls can get boys, who are often bigger and stronger, in a lot of trouble, and (2) hitting is wrong even if you are hit first. Are these boys really in so much danger from these girls that they need to resort to violence to fend them off, or can they just walk away? If the latter, then that's what they should do.

Nice language, lol. I'm talking about the comments like: "They're right. They shouldn't hit girls. Deal with it." "This is not an issue." Several people early on commented and ignored the issue of the girls hitting the boys, but went straight to what the boys had better not do about it. I had already addressed that my boys hitting back was not the issue, but they wanted to focus on that rather than the problem.

OP's post was about what her boys should do. Not about what she can do to address the girls' hitting.

OP here. No, actually I wasn't asking what my boys should do. They know what to do. I was asking why this is so prevalent. Has it always been? Do others see it, too? And why it seems to be acceptable where if it were turned around, the boys would be dealt with severely. Teachers do seem to turn a blind eye to this with girls. And they can't always "walk away" because it happens under the desks in the classroom, for example.

I could speculate that parents of boys teach their sons not to hit, knowing that they will grow up to be men, who should not hit. Maybe parents simply don't put as much effort into teaching girls not to hit, ever.

But I don't know, since I haven't seen this problem of girls hurting boys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn't actually a problem, OP.

Violence against women? Now, there's a problem.

Your boys will survive this.

It is a problem when ANYONE, boy or girl, is subject to being hit, kicked, poked, or pinched at school. Everyone has a right to be free from violence and to protect their own body.

I have told my sons very clearly that they should NEVER hit a girl or woman first, but if she hits you, put her on the floor and then get away from her. Do what you have to do to protect your body.

Oh, simmer the fuck down you MRA nut

LOL

I am a woman and probably one of the most feminist people on this board. I don't tolerate violence, though, in any form from any one. I don't expect my boys to tolerate it either. If a person is physically violent, then they have earned a physically violent response.

Then I guess you do tolerate physical violence.

The use of violence in self-defense is necessary. I suppose I do tolerate the use of violence in self-defense.

Is your child's life in danger from these girls? Can your DS not walk away, or talk to a teacher? No skills? Just fists? Hard to respect people who act like cavemen.

Would you say that if it was a girl bullied by girls? These are kids still learning social skills. Bullying is a problem be it either gender.

Yes, bullying is a problem. But we don't teach our children to deal with bullies by hitting them. There are many other options. If you want your kids to hit, I guess you have your excuse, but I dont' want my boys hitting people. I am against that behavior.

No, there aren't. Just read all of the people on this board who think it's funny that a woman engages in domestic violence against a man, or who say it's not serious if the girls are hitting the boys. People like that aren't going to respond if a boy complains that he is being hit and bullied by a group of girls.

Yes, I do respond. I tell my SON to stay away from her, I ask why he thinks she does shit like that, I tell him to tell her he likes her less and less the more she acts like that, etc. I teach my own child how to navigate the situation. Girl is an asshole. There will be many others in life, unfortunately. I can teach my own kid how to handle assholes in life in the way I expect him to (non-violently). He is doing a stellar job.

I wonder what you see for your DS's future, like what kind of a job can you have when you deal with assholes by "putting them on the floor"? I really don't know.

Not what I said. My boys aren't allowed to hit first. If someone hits them -- girl or boy-- they are instructed to put that person on the floor and then get away from them. You don't deal with assholes by hitting them. You do deal with someone who hits you by putting them on the floor.

Have you taken a self-defense class? They don't teach that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn't actually a problem, OP.

r"?[/b] I really don't know.

Not what I said. My boys aren't allowed to hit first. If someone hits them -- girl or boy-- they are instructed to put that person on the floor and then get away from them. You don't deal with assholes by hitting them. You do deal with someone who hits you by putting them on the floor.

I would never in a million years want to know you or your kids.

[Anonymous]

.

Not what I said. My boys aren't allowed to hit first. If someone hits them -- girl or boy-- they are instructed to put that person on the floor and then get away from them. You don't deal with assholes by hitting them. You do deal with someone who hits you by putting them on the floor.

I would never in a million years want to know you or your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn't actually a problem, OP.

Violence against women? Now, there's a problem.

Your boys will survive this.

It is a problem when ANYONE, boy or girl, is subject to being hit, kicked, poked, or pinched at school. Everyone has a right to be free from violence and to protect their own body.

I have told my sons very clearly that they should NEVER hit a girl or woman first, but if she hits you, put her on the floor and then get away from her. Do what you have to do to protect your body.

Oh, simmer the fuck down you MRA nut

LOL

I am a woman and probably one of the most feminist people on this board. I don't tolerate violence, though, in any form from any one. I don't expect my boys to tolerate it either. If a person is physically violent, then they have earned a physically violent response.

Then I guess you do tolerate physical violence.

The use of violence in self-defense is necessary. I suppose I do tolerate the use of violence in self-defense.

Is your child's life in danger from these girls? Can your DS not walk away, or talk to a teacher? No skills? Just fists? Hard to respect people who act like cavemen.

Would you say that if it was a girl bullied by girls? These are kids still learning social skills. Bullying is a problem be it either gender.

Yes, bullying is a problem. But we don't teach our children to deal with bullies by hitting them. There are many other options. If you want your kids to hit, I guess you have your excuse, but I dont' want my boys hitting people. I am against that behavior.

No, there aren't. Just read all of the people on this board who think it's funny that a woman engages in domestic violence against a man, or who say it's not serious if the girls are hitting the boys. People like that aren't going to respond if a boy complains that he is being hit and bullied by a group of girls.

Yes, I do respond. I tell my SON to stay away from her, I ask why he thinks she does shit like that, I tell him to tell her he likes her less and less the more she acts like that, etc. I teach my own child how to navigate the situation. Girl is an asshole. There will be many others in life, unfortunately. I can teach my own kid how to handle assholes in life in the way I expect him to (non-violently). He is doing a stellar job.

I wonder what you see for your DS's future, like what kind of a job can you have when you deal with assholes by "putting them on the floor"? I really don't know.

Not what I said. My boys aren't allowed to hit first. If someone hits them -- girl or boy-- they are instructed to put that person on the floor and then get away from them. You don't deal with assholes by hitting them. You do deal with someone who hits you by putting them on the floor.

Have you taken a self-defense class? They don't teach that.

What do you think "Put them on the floor" means? A simple leg sweep or judo throw or jujitsu take-down puts an attacker on the floor.

Most self-defense classes are designed to teach a limited number of skills in a very short period of time, mostly to women who are untrained. They don't have the time or ability to teach women to fight with a bigger attacker, so they teach women to run away. They're not useless, but they're not especially useful either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kind of Mad Max style schools do your kids attend where these marauding girls are routinely assaulting your kids, to the extent you've developed a "take-down" plan for when they come for your child? ("Put her on the ground" pp? Wtf?)

OP. I don't have a plan, lol. My boys aren't permitted to return the abuse and wouldn't even think to do so. It's a regular FCPS elementary. It's not a daily occurrence. It's a way to get attention from boys, so maybe my sons are just extra cute.

That is actually pretty sick.

OP. Sorry you think it's sick, but one teacher told me in a conference that it was the girl's way of flirting with my 5th grade son because it was obvious she had a crush on him. Another girl who likes to kick my 4th grader under the desk also sends him love notes. What am I to think?

And I remember a boy throwing a piece of candy at my friend in 6th grade because he had a crush on her. Unless you grew up on Giligan's Island you should already know this is how life works.

[Anonymous]

Ugh, this thread is a time-suck. I'm done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kind of Mad Max style schools do your kids attend where these marauding girls are routinely assaulting your kids, to the extent you've developed a "take-down" plan for when they come for your child? ("Put her on the ground" pp? Wtf?)

OP. I don't have a plan, lol. My boys aren't permitted to return the abuse and wouldn't even think to do so. It's a regular FCPS elementary. It's not a daily occurrence. It's a way to get attention from boys, so maybe my sons are just extra cute.

That is actually pretty sick.

OP. Sorry you think it's sick, but one teacher told me in a conference that it was the girl's way of flirting with my 5th grade son because it was obvious she had a crush on him. Another girl who likes to kick my 4th grader under the desk also sends him love notes. What am I to think?

And I remember a boy throwing a piece of candy at my friend in 6th grade because he had a crush on her. Unless you grew up on Giligan's Island you should already know this is how life works.

Of course I know that. I'd much rather have a piece of candy thrown at me than bruised shins. Maybe the girls haven't been taught that but my point is that the boys would be in the principal's office while the girls get away with murder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn't actually a problem, OP.

Violence against women? Now, there's a problem.

Your boys will survive this.

It is a problem when ANYONE, boy or girl, is subject to being hit, kicked, poked, or pinched at school. Everyone has a right to be free from violence and to protect their own body.

I have told my sons very clearly that they should NEVER hit a girl or woman first, but if she hits you, put her on the floor and then get away from her. Do what you have to do to protect your body.

Oh, simmer the fuck down you MRA nut

LOL

I am a woman and probably one of the most feminist people on this board. I don't tolerate violence, though, in any form from any one. I don't expect my boys to tolerate it either. If a person is physically violent, then they have earned a physically violent response.

Then I guess you do tolerate physical violence.

The use of violence in self-defense is necessary. I suppose I do tolerate the use of violence in self-defense.

Is your child's life in danger from these girls? Can your DS not walk away, or talk to a teacher? No skills? Just fists? Hard to respect people who act like cavemen.

Would you say that if it was a girl bullied by girls? These are kids still learning social skills. Bullying is a problem be it either gender.

Yes, bullying is a problem. But we don't teach our children to deal with bullies by hitting them. There are many other options. If you want your kids to hit, I guess you have your excuse, but I dont' want my boys hitting people. I am against that behavior.

No, there aren't. Just read all of the people on this board who think it's funny that a woman engages in domestic violence against a man, or who say it's not serious if the girls are hitting the boys. People like that aren't going to respond if a boy complains that he is being hit and bullied by a group of girls.

Are you reading the same thread I am? Most are saying what the girls are doing is not OK, but don't hit back. Some are saying what the girls are doing is not OK, and hit them back. No one is saying it's OK or funny.

Let's see... one of the first responses was that PP had never heard of it happening. Another response called OP "an MRA nutter." Numerous people have said that if a boy's life is in danger, he should just walk away. Someone specifically said that it was "a joke" that Liza Minnelli beat the crap out of her former husband. Someone just prior to your post suggested that my boys deserved to be hit because I am "not a nice person."

+1 Violence against either gender is not okay, be it girl against boy or boy against girl. Not acknowledging if there is a problem because its one gender inciting the violence is frankly sexism. OP, since society is geared so that if your DS retaliates there will be trouble, you should teach him to go through other channels. Like the other PP, loudly proclaim she is hitting him and that is terrible and ugly behavior. Take out his phone to record her hitting him while informing her she is on video and he will show the teacher. Tell her that he is going to tell you and you will contact her parents and she will be in trouble. Girls are group dynamic creatures and if she can be shamed infront of her peers she will be more likely to stop.

[Anonymous]

OP, most people aren't seeing what you're seeing. Either your kids are exaggerating or you have a discipline issue at your particular school.