Girls being physically aggressive with boys in school - "you can't hit me back bc I'm a girl!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have three sons and they have told me often that girls LOVE to use the "You can't hit me, I'm a girl" card.

My sons have come home with bruises on their shins from girls kicking them, on their arms from girls grabbing them and squeezing. They've seen girls throw balls at boys' faces, smack them in their faces, punch them in the stomach. We're talking about upper elementary school.

There are girls who go way overboard provoking boys verbally and physically to tempt them to retaliate. I don't know if the boys ever do, I know that mine never have, but I do know it's some bullshit.

Discuss.

Have you witnessed it first hand or are getting your 3 sons play on this? I volunteer twice a week at recess and have seen major rough housing going on between boys and sometimes boys and girls. I never see it with just girls - they use their words to hurt instead. The girls that want to play with the boys are usually excluded from activities such as soccer, basketball etc.. because "because they are a girl." I watched a group of boys excluding a girl into a game of soccer. The PA told them she was allowed to play so instead the boys made sure to trip her up everytime she was on the field. The one ran into her and knocked her down. She got up and pushed him. He went running to the PA to say that she on purposely pushed him and she was sent to the bench and they finished their all boys game.

So if you honestly think there are girls are recess punching boys and beating the crap out of them and the boys are doing nothing, you are probably wrong. Why don't you go check it out for yourself. Get involved.

I have also been on the recess and the worst thing you can do to a girl is not notice her. It is true the boys play ball and it can get rough. The girls want to play (just because boys are on the radar not because they like basketball) but they cry to the moderator when they fall down or get hit with the ball, which makes the boys not want to play with the girls. boys at this age are generally oblivious about the boys dating girls thing.

There is always a group of boys that are not playing sports, but guess what, girls like the other boys, no surprise there.

Boys are not purposely pushing girls down because they don't want to play with girls, there are plenty of girls that can play with the boys with out crying wolf.

To the dad that ask if the boys provoke the girls... yes, they ignore them... it is literally the worst thing you can do to a girl. Then they act out to get attention. It is sad that some teachers/moderators are always blaming the boys. If you can handle kids you should not be a moderator. If the girl is crying every time she plays ball with the boys, you can't just blame the boys.

Lady, you are delusional. The girls wanting to to actually play the sports are tomboys, not little tarts trying to flirt with your son while kicking a soccer ball. Give me a break!!

And everyday there is an issue because they only have one field for the soccer and the boys don't want the girls to play. Hate to break it to you. Girls can actually play sports (gasp) and deserve to do so. When the PA has to jump in and make the game co-ed while the boys moan, there is an issue on the boys side, not the girls. To purposely go after the 1-3 girls that are playing in the hopes they give up and go away is NOT the way to play. And if you would have read the post correctly, it was a girl who pushed back and then the BOY went crying off to the PA. Not because he was hurt but he wanted her out of the game. Hate to break it to you. Boys and girls can manipulate, bully, and be mean. There isn't one sex against the other here. I asked the OP to see first hand what the situation is because I see many different things in the last 9 years I have helped out at recess. And her son should ignore and talk calmly to another teacher later.

People like you make me sick with your generalizations:

Girls only play sports to flirt with boys
Girls don't want to flirt with non-sport boys
Girls cry only to get attention
Boys only want to play nicely and girls don't.

I did not say girls only play sports to flirt with boys. I said many girls can play sports with boys. The ones that are crying/hitting/etc all the time are not there to play sports. they are there to flirt. YOU are the delusional one if you don't know basic science. Girls are VERY interested in boys WAY before boys are.

Girls are constantly getting in the way of sports game for attention. If you don't know that you are clueless and one reason inexperienced parents should not be "volunteering" with children... stuff some envelops but if you are unaware of the dynamic between boys and girls you should not be volunteering with children.

Girls cry to get attention. Girls cry when they lose. Girls cry when their best friend gets a new friend. Girls cry they get shoved during a sports game. Girls cray A LOT. Many girls don't ... they can play with the boys, the others need to go find a way to play without disrupting a normal sport game. Same with boys that cry if somebody throws the ball to them too hard.

Boys don't play nicely, gently or quietly, nor should they be asked to do so... if you can't deal with that find kids that play nicely, gently or quietly. There are plenty of kids on the playground, what is wrong with those kids? Stop asking boys to be quiet and gently on the playground because of 1 crybaby. Teach the crybaby to NOT be a crybaby.

The boys moan because you are asking them to play nicely, gently and quietly. They do that the other 6 hours they are in school. Give them 20 minutes to play hard. Some girls (and boys) can hang, others can't. Don't ask kids to play down, expect the others to play harder/deal/be less sensitive.

Just wow.

Clueless

I hope you aren't a parent.

Wow

Wow! You don't know girls cry. Don't volunteer at school you will be traumatized.

I don't see this with my daughters or with my sons' classmates. Perhaps they cry more around you?

In a school setting, especially middle school, you will have multiple girls cry every single day. Sometimes boys cry but it is less often.

How old are you kids?

I get you want to make fun of me or put me down, but girls crying is normal and acting like it is some huge thing that needs to be fixed does not help the girls or whomever she is blaming for "making her cry"... sometimes life is tough and you need to recognize stress and deal with it in a healthy way instead of blaming and crying. Sometime you need to cry, but you should excuse yourself to the bathroom or the counselor's office.

Kids cry when they get a B sometimes especially if their parents are hard on them.

That's interesting-so what (in your opinion) comes naturally to girls at this age (crying, manipulation) should be squelched or done in the restroom whereas what comes naturally to boys in your opinion (mad soccer skills, non crying, cardio) requires priority use of soccer field (with girls who are boyish enough being granted access.) Girls who pretend to want to play soccer but aren't boyish enough (or boys who are too girlish) need to back off and let the poor, put upon boys have unfettered access to the field. Cool.

Not PP, but it seems reasonable to me. Girls or boys can cry all they like. They just need to take it off the field, so the kids who want to play, can play, instead of spending all of their time catering to some 13 year old drama queen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have three sons and they have told me often that girls LOVE to use the "You can't hit me, I'm a girl" card.

My sons have come home with bruises on their shins from girls kicking them, on their arms from girls grabbing them and squeezing. They've seen girls throw balls at boys' faces, smack them in their faces, punch them in the stomach. We're talking about upper elementary school.

There are girls who go way overboard provoking boys verbally and physically to tempt them to retaliate. I don't know if the boys ever do, I know that mine never have, but I do know it's some bullshit.

Discuss.

Have you witnessed it first hand or are getting your 3 sons play on this? I volunteer twice a week at recess and have seen major rough housing going on between boys and sometimes boys and girls. I never see it with just girls - they use their words to hurt instead. The girls that want to play with the boys are usually excluded from activities such as soccer, basketball etc.. because "because they are a girl." I watched a group of boys excluding a girl into a game of soccer. The PA told them she was allowed to play so instead the boys made sure to trip her up everytime she was on the field. The one ran into her and knocked her down. She got up and pushed him. He went running to the PA to say that she on purposely pushed him and she was sent to the bench and they finished their all boys game.

So if you honestly think there are girls are recess punching boys and beating the crap out of them and the boys are doing nothing, you are probably wrong. Why don't you go check it out for yourself. Get involved.

I have also been on the recess and the worst thing you can do to a girl is not notice her. It is true the boys play ball and it can get rough. The girls want to play (just because boys are on the radar not because they like basketball) but they cry to the moderator when they fall down or get hit with the ball, which makes the boys not want to play with the girls. boys at this age are generally oblivious about the boys dating girls thing.

There is always a group of boys that are not playing sports, but guess what, girls like the other boys, no surprise there.

Boys are not purposely pushing girls down because they don't want to play with girls, there are plenty of girls that can play with the boys with out crying wolf.

To the dad that ask if the boys provoke the girls... yes, they ignore them... it is literally the worst thing you can do to a girl. Then they act out to get attention. It is sad that some teachers/moderators are always blaming the boys. If you can handle kids you should not be a moderator. If the girl is crying every time she plays ball with the boys, you can't just blame the boys.

Lady, you are delusional. The girls wanting to to actually play the sports are tomboys, not little tarts trying to flirt with your son while kicking a soccer ball. Give me a break!!

And everyday there is an issue because they only have one field for the soccer and the boys don't want the girls to play. Hate to break it to you. Girls can actually play sports (gasp) and deserve to do so. When the PA has to jump in and make the game co-ed while the boys moan, there is an issue on the boys side, not the girls. To purposely go after the 1-3 girls that are playing in the hopes they give up and go away is NOT the way to play. And if you would have read the post correctly, it was a girl who pushed back and then the BOY went crying off to the PA. Not because he was hurt but he wanted her out of the game. Hate to break it to you. Boys and girls can manipulate, bully, and be mean. There isn't one sex against the other here. I asked the OP to see first hand what the situation is because I see many different things in the last 9 years I have helped out at recess. And her son should ignore and talk calmly to another teacher later.

People like you make me sick with your generalizations:

Girls only play sports to flirt with boys
Girls don't want to flirt with non-sport boys
Girls cry only to get attention
Boys only want to play nicely and girls don't.

I did not say girls only play sports to flirt with boys. I said many girls can play sports with boys. The ones that are crying/hitting/etc all the time are not there to play sports. they are there to flirt. YOU are the delusional one if you don't know basic science. Girls are VERY interested in boys WAY before boys are.

Girls are constantly getting in the way of sports game for attention. If you don't know that you are clueless and one reason inexperienced parents should not be "volunteering" with children... stuff some envelops but if you are unaware of the dynamic between boys and girls you should not be volunteering with children.

Girls cry to get attention. Girls cry when they lose. Girls cry when their best friend gets a new friend. Girls cry they get shoved during a sports game. Girls cray A LOT. Many girls don't ... they can play with the boys, the others need to go find a way to play without disrupting a normal sport game. Same with boys that cry if somebody throws the ball to them too hard.

Boys don't play nicely, gently or quietly, nor should they be asked to do so... if you can't deal with that find kids that play nicely, gently or quietly. There are plenty of kids on the playground, what is wrong with those kids? Stop asking boys to be quiet and gently on the playground because of 1 crybaby. Teach the crybaby to NOT be a crybaby.

The boys moan because you are asking them to play nicely, gently and quietly. They do that the other 6 hours they are in school. Give them 20 minutes to play hard. Some girls (and boys) can hang, others can't. Don't ask kids to play down, expect the others to play harder/deal/be less sensitive.

Just wow.

Clueless

I hope you aren't a parent.

Wow

Wow! You don't know girls cry. Don't volunteer at school you will be traumatized.

I don't see this with my daughters or with my sons' classmates. Perhaps they cry more around you?

In a school setting, especially middle school, you will have multiple girls cry every single day. Sometimes boys cry but it is less often.

How old are you kids?

I get you want to make fun of me or put me down, but girls crying is normal and acting like it is some huge thing that needs to be fixed does not help the girls or whomever she is blaming for "making her cry"... sometimes life is tough and you need to recognize stress and deal with it in a healthy way instead of blaming and crying. Sometime you need to cry, but you should excuse yourself to the bathroom or the counselor's office.

Kids cry when they get a B sometimes especially if their parents are hard on them.

That's interesting-so what (in your opinion) comes naturally to girls at this age (crying, manipulation) should be squelched or done in the restroom whereas what comes naturally to boys in your opinion (mad soccer skills, non crying, cardio) requires priority use of soccer field (with girls who are boyish enough being granted access.) Girls who pretend to want to play soccer but aren't boyish enough (or boys who are too girlish) need to back off and let the poor, put upon boys have unfettered access to the field. Cool.

Not PP, but it seems reasonable to me. Girls or boys can cry all they like. They just need to take it off the field, so the kids who want to play, can play, instead of spending all of their time catering to some 13 year old drama queen.

I think the drama queen is the person describing recess as some kind of crybaby hellscape.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have three sons and they have told me often that girls LOVE to use the "You can't hit me, I'm a girl" card.

My sons have come home with bruises on their shins from girls kicking them, on their arms from girls grabbing them and squeezing. They've seen girls throw balls at boys' faces, smack them in their faces, punch them in the stomach. We're talking about upper elementary school.

There are girls who go way overboard provoking boys verbally and physically to tempt them to retaliate. I don't know if the boys ever do, I know that mine never have, but I do know it's some bullshit.

Discuss.

It is some bs- teachers need to be involved with the social dynamics. We have a girl in my son's class who hits the boys-- proud to say nine of the boys have hit her back and I'm sure it's tempting.

That said, I tell my son he can't hit girls, period. Boys who hit girls may become less inhibited to hit women later.... men who hit women (or little kids) are garbage. I've made my feelings known to my son.

By allowing this girl to hit the boys and not allowing them to defend themselves, you are teaching them that their bodies and their safety and their well-being matters less than the well being of girls. You're incredibly sexist. You make the MRAs right.

What is an MRA? I said I think the teachers should be more involved in the social dynamics to prevent any hitting- but yes, my son is not going to be hitting girls. In five years he's going to be significantly bigger and stronger than most girls and we want him strongly inhibited. We've explained it exactly like that- boys grow into men, and men who hit women are rubbish, end of story. The girl is not a constant bully, if she was, we would contact the school. I don't care if you think I'm sexist- I'm raising a young man who won't hit his wife or his girlfriend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This isn't actually a problem, OP.

Violence against women? Now, there's a problem.

Your boys will survive this.

How is this not a problem? Girls are already emotionally cruel. Now we want to teach them to be physically cruel also? This needs to be stopped? No one is allowed to hit anyone.

[Anonymous]

The girls are not lashing out unprovoked. If your boys are cornering her or otherwise making her feel unsafe, she should definitely hit or do whatever she needs to protect herself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have never heard a girl say this or a boy complain of this, even a single time. Are you an MRA nutter?

It happens.

30 years ago, in my very middle class, Midwestern Catholic school, the 4th grade girls thought it was really funny to kick the boys in the balls. I did it to my brother. My parents were furious. It was explained to me very carefully that I would never do that to my brother or another boy again or I would suffer the most severe consequences.

I have no doubt that this has been known to happen. I just think it's strange it's reached epidemic proportions for not only op's sons but also his friends. school apparently unable to stop the relentless onslaught of little girl violence.

NP, the girls at my kid's elementary school are also violent toward the boys. Exact same issue. So, no, it's not unique to OP. Kids are youngers so not so much hitting or kicking but more pushing and shoving. If the boys push back they get in trouble but the girls are MUCH taller and more aggressive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The girls are not lashing out unprovoked. If your boys are cornering her or otherwise making her feel unsafe, she should definitely hit or do whatever she needs to protect herself.

NP above again. Yes they are.

[Anonymous]

I have volunteered for 10 years (once a week) at elementary school and I have never seen these over-exaggerated sceneries take place. Sure there is some issues here and there of fighting, crying, etc.. but it is equal in sexes. I have seen boys cry and lash out too. I have seen girls bully non-athletic kids on the field. I have seen either sex leave out others of opposite sex. But it happens the same with-in sex. Same fights, same leaving out, same bullying etc... And overall it barely happens. MOST times the aides and volunteers WANT the kids to figure it out. That is life. Most kids have their whole day structured that they don't even know how to truly socialize those 30min. It is a teaching moment to not always step in and let the kids figure out. They rarely get a chance to do that these days. Parents over-step their boundaries and it does more harm than good. All you can do is teach your child to do the right thing (not retaliate, inform a grown-up) than all is well. You can NOT complain, whine or sound off on other kids or their parents.

Anyway, this sounds like one girl-hating mom and one boy-hating mom going back and forth for pages.

[Anonymous]

^scenerios

[Anonymous]

Absolutely horrifying to see majority of parents so clueless as to encouraging their daughters to be violent and sons to be victims.

The end of civilization.

[Anonymous]

Woman have equal rights now....your sons should defend themselves.

1) Save themselves from further harm 2) Teach these girls to stop being bullies....win win.

[Anonymous]

I can see this happening to my son. So, I'm on the OP side to find a solution. I will start by saying, I do not condone violence or mistreatment of anyone. Many parents teach their girls to defend themselves and boys just have to suck it up. What about the few boys that are actually fine and behave well and they demonstrate it too. I don't want my child to avoid girls but so far the girls are not impressing me with their gossipy and manipulative ways. And they go crying if something doesn't go their way. The only thing I can teach is know right from wrong. Don't let anyone yell, hit, spit, push or say bad things to or against you, regardless if you are a boy or girl. Don't push or taunt girls but do not let them take over your life and stomp all over you. If the person is not willing to listen to you when you are calm, than, it's not worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This isn't actually a problem, OP.

Violence against women? Now, there's a problem.

Your boys will survive this.

Oh bs. Violence against anyone at any age is a problem. Don't teach a boy to "deal" with it.

[Anonymous]

I'm a mom of girls. No one should be hitting anyone. If my girls did that I'd expect the school to intervene immediately, contact me, discipline my child, and take progressive action. No exceptions for girls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn't actually a problem, OP.

Violence against women? Now, there's a problem.

Your boys will survive this.

It is a problem when ANYONE, boy or girl, is subject to being hit, kicked, poked, or pinched at school. Everyone has a right to be free from violence and to protect their own body.

I have told my sons very clearly that they should NEVER hit a girl or woman first, but if she hits you, put her on the floor and then get away from her. Do what you have to do to protect your body.

+1. If someone attacks/hits you, you have the right to protect yourself and do what is necessary to extricate yourself from the situation. Then I would be in school demanding that those little brats are suspended or expelled.