"Perfect on paper husband," just not in love with him

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The dating market for a 40+ year old woman with two kids is no picnic.

I am 38 with no kids and it sucks.

I'd stay with him. No one has butterflies anymore after a few months or so anyway.

Your line about wanting him to scream at you is disturbing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, I don't want to end up alone. The purpose of divorcing him would be to find someone better suited.

Well, the chances of that happening are very slim.

[Anonymous]

Your husband sounds awesome and you sound like a complete adolescent. Sorry, but it is true. He deserves someone better and if I weren't already married, I would totally try to scoop him up.

[Anonymous]

^Yeah, i wouldn't mind dating them, if they made a mistake when they were young and had figured it out. I feel like OP is describing the relationship I had with my first boyfriend. Luckily I figured it out and dumped him before high school ended, and was able to have a few practice relationships of learning what I want. OP is just doing it a bit later in life- nothing wrong with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^Yeah, i wouldn't mind dating them, if they made a mistake when they were young and had figured it out. I feel like OP is describing the relationship I had with my first boyfriend. Luckily I figured it out and dumped him before high school ended, and was able to have a few practice relationships of learning what I want. OP is just doing it a bit later in life- nothing wrong with that.

Yeah, this is just like your high school boyfriend situation, totally the same thing. Are you really that dumb?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^Yeah, i wouldn't mind dating them, if they made a mistake when they were young and had figured it out. I feel like OP is describing the relationship I had with my first boyfriend. Luckily I figured it out and dumped him before high school ended, and was able to have a few practice relationships of learning what I want. OP is just doing it a bit later in life- nothing wrong with that.

PP there is BIG BIG difference between dumping a high school boyfriend and marrying someone at 33 years old that you are not attracted to, then staying with them 6 years and having two children. BIG difference. This is not just a little mistake. If I were on the market, I would not date a person who demonstrated that kind of immaturity at that age. It doesn't matter if OP has actually grown as a person and figured things out, I'm not going to risk, after the age of 30, dating someone who is such a flight risk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^Yeah, i wouldn't mind dating them, if they made a mistake when they were young and had figured it out. I feel like OP is describing the relationship I had with my first boyfriend. Luckily I figured it out and dumped him before high school ended, and was able to have a few practice relationships of learning what I want. OP is just doing it a bit later in life- nothing wrong with that.

PP there is BIG BIG difference between dumping a high school boyfriend and marrying someone at 33 years old that you are not attracted to, then staying with them 6 years and having two children. BIG difference. This is not just a little mistake. If I were on the market, I would not date a person who demonstrated that kind of immaturity at that age. It doesn't matter if OP has actually grown as a person and figured things out, I'm not going to risk, after the age of 30, dating someone who is such a flight risk.

I get what you're saying. i guess it would definitely be a concern for me too. It's certainly not the most responsible behavior, that's for sure...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^Yeah, i wouldn't mind dating them, if they made a mistake when they were young and had figured it out. I feel like OP is describing the relationship I had with my first boyfriend. Luckily I figured it out and dumped him before high school ended, and was able to have a few practice relationships of learning what I want. OP is just doing it a bit later in life- nothing wrong with that.

20 years and two kids and a marriage later is not "a bit later".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you are BEC with your husband, OP. Do you know what that stands for? Bitch eating crackers as in "Look at that bitch eating crackers like she owns the place." When you dislike someone, the little things start to add up and mole hills become mountains. I don't think there is a cure for that other than separation.

This. She's right. When you become BEC with someone there's no fixing it. The negative mental image overpowers anything positive. When she said her skin crawls when we tries to touch her, I knew EXACTLY what she meant. I've felt that way too. I think OP likes her DH. I just think she doesn't respect him. She needs to separate before she destroys any possibility of an amicable relationship.

And whoever said dating at 40 was hard never dated at 40. I've had NO problem! In fact I've had no problem dating men younger than me.

[Anonymous]

Op doesn't just want to date though. She wants a new mate who both rocks her world sexually and is a good husband, dad etc. Not as easy imo

[Anonymous]

OP if you can live with seeing your kids only 50 percent of the time and the overall logistics can work, I would leave. Otherwise you may need to wait until your kids are older. A harsh lesson to have learned, but many people are in worse situations.

[Anonymous]

A woman’s value significantly depends on her fertility and beauty. A man’s value significantly depends on his resources, intellect, and character.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to learn to love him. See a counselor- do whatever it takes. You have the makings of a great marriage. Don't throw it away.

+1

[Anonymous]

A woman who doesn’t lower her standards in her 30’s will undoubtedly fail to find commitment, since there is little she will be able to do to increase her value. A man, however, has many options even into old age for keeping his sexual market value relatively high, such as increasing his status or wealth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A woman who doesn’t lower her standards in her 30’s will undoubtedly fail to find commitment, since there is little she will be able to do to increase her value. A man, however, has many options even into old age for keeping his sexual market value relatively high, such as increasing his status or wealth.

You keep telling yourself that. You must be one ugly motherfucker.