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Elementary School-Aged Kids
What is a Tiger Mom? If you are one how are you different from everyone else?
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Anonymous
+1000 Perpetuating the stereotype that smart Asians will just turn out to be quiet followers. I don't know about you, but that's not how it is in my work world. The tide will turn in a couple of generations. Racists, look inward and you'll find jeolousy eating away at your soul. |
Anonymous
+1 And don't change the rules for acceptance into TJ - rules that predominantly whites established - because under the existing rules the admissions are dominated by Asians. All you need to do is to look at some of the TJ threads with numerous complains about Asians being disproportionately admitted. |
Anonymous
| I'm somewhat of a tiger mom. I managed my kid's activities (her choice) and also sent her to a private h.s. so she wouldn't be distracted by the boys. Kid excelled and went to an Ivy. |
Anonymous
Thanks to those who are concerned about the tinges of racism that surface in some posts. As an Asian, I assure you that most of these comments about the traits of Asian children don't bother us a bit - it is like water off a duck's back. We are fine with our methods of parenting and we know how it impacts our children. I really believe the plethora of threads about tiger parenting on this and other forums is more than likely indicative of an element of insecurity by those who utilize more conventional approaches. I say this because I cannot think of another explanation of why tiger parenting repeatedly comes up with the attendant suggestions of Asian children lacking creativity, initiative, leadership abilities, etc. Tiger parenting is a lot of work for the parents and we imbue in our children an expectation of achievement and excellence. They don't need to excel in all subjects but we do make a point of motivating them to achieve their full potential. If that entails "pushing" them to do so, we have no hesitation in doing so. Yes, we limit TV and playing video games, give more focus to academics as opposed to sports, we emphasize respect to those older than them, etc. No regrets or apologies from this parent ...... and no suggestion that other approaches to parenting are inferior and certainly no suggestion that others should adopt our approach. |
Anonymous
PP here. No, no and no. |
Anonymous
I'm Asian, and let's not lie, especially on an anonymous forum. Plenty of Asian parents do regard Western parenting styles as "inferior". That is why so many of them don't want their kids playing with Western minded kids. The parents feel the Americanized kids way of life (ie, the way the kids are due to the parenting styles) will rub off on their Asian kids. Maybe you could say it's cultural, but culture does somewhat equate to parenting style. |
Anonymous
| Many other races regard Asian parenting as inferior. Even the kids who get into Ivies. It's just different priorities based on cultural influences. |
Anonymous
Yeesh, I hope your kids are smarter than you are. As soon as you decide your way of parenting is better, you judge others who don't parent the way you do. You draw comparisons with your very first judgment. (And you are further judgmental by assuming you know what my approach is.)Whether you try to persuade others is completely immaterial. You said you don't judge other parents and you absolutely do. I have yet to read a single post that disparages your children. Every poster on this thread has shown empathy for the children. |
Anonymous
| Everyone thinks their way is best. Otherwise they wouldn't parent the way they do. Children are all different and need different parenting styles depending on who they are and even what stage of life they are in. |
Anonymous
OP again- Thankfully it's largely cultural from what I've seen as my family has not felt discriminated at all by the high performing Asian community. I would say that about 70% of my kid's friends are high performing Asian classmates (Indian and Chinese) and their parents are willing to socialize with us/ go out of their way to help us now that they know us and our values. Of course, we also watch our kid's cultural influences too but I think most caring parents regardless of their parenting style care about peer influences. It's just different priorities for different people. |
Anonymous
PP, you sound resentful. Sorry if your kid did not get into TJ. If you seriously believe that every poster on this thread has shown empathy for (Asian) children, you either have a problem with reading and comprehension or you are delusional. There are posters who have specifically commented on the outright racism of some posters. |
Anonymous
Absolutely. Thank you for you honesty. It effects the children, and the school administration, who all know too well how Asians feel about white kids. Talk about racism. It's certainly no secret. |
Anonymous
I am not Asian but I get what she is saying. We now live in a country with a bunch of coddling parents who are "friends" with their kids. American kids are known worldwide as undiscoplined, rude, obese and lazy. A stereotype that a lot of time rings true. I am so sick of the race card being thrown out for everything. |
Anonymous
There are different types of white parents. I know many who are raising well mannered children who are respectful, thoughtful and high achieving. The parents are also the kind who do not gossip or disparage other people, show reciprocity to other parents, limit TV and video games and spend a lot of effort and time in raising their children. My child is lucky that he has found many such friends. Then there are parents whose children are ill-mannered, use bad language and disrespectful. Their parents are the kinds that will take advantage of you and will not discipline their kids or show any reciprocity, in group situations. These parents will not take turns for carpooling, getting snacks, picking up their children on time, acknowledging you in other social situations. I steer clear of these parents, and while my child plays with them at school, they are not the kids my child will play with at home. So, rather than saying that Asians do not like white kids, I think it is more accurate to say that there are certain kids we do not want our kids to associate with. Asians are culturally raised to do certain things like be respectful of elders, behave with restraint in social situations, listen to their parents when they are outside the house etc. They are also people who believe in equal reciprocity which means that they will do their share or more when it comes to carpooling, bringing snacks, hosting playdates etc. Asian parents are also open to hearing criticism of their children. If you tell an Asian parent that you saw their child smoking, misbehaving etc,. they will thank you and not bite off your head. Most white parents will get belligerent when you tell them somethings about their child. Asian parents are very embarrassed when a teacher will draw their attention to their child's bad behaviour, and they will discipline their child appropriately. I see white parents actually getting angry and blaming the teacher when the teacher says something negative. So, no, we do not dislike white parents and kids. But if we do not find involved parents and well mannered, well -raised kids, we will limit the time our child spends with your child. AND we will do this without criticizing you or your child. |
Anonymous
You make it sound like there is such a thing as Asian culture. There isn't, and it is absurd to say there is. |