What is a Tiger Mom? If you are one how are you different from everyone else?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Being a Tiger mom in my opinion is working with your child so that they can achieve their potential. It also means that you have to make sure they are balanced and happy individuals.

Happy, balanced, hard working, moral and high achieving kids - do not happen without parental involvement and support from home. And so, if you are an involved parent and devote time on your kids and in creating a conducive home environment - you are a Tiger parent in my opinion.

Your definition of tiger mom is not the norm.

Your definition sounds like what should be the defintion of parent.

[Anonymous]

Another Tiger parent thread???


How about just do a search for "tiger mom" and re-live all the non-tiger parent superiority there?

Here's a crazy thought, parent as you wish and stop judging how others parent their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being a Tiger mom in my opinion is working with your child so that they can achieve their potential. It also means that you have to make sure they are balanced and happy individuals.

Happy, balanced, hard working, moral and high achieving kids - do not happen without parental involvement and support from home. And so, if you are an involved parent and devote time on your kids and in creating a conducive home environment - you are a Tiger parent in my opinion.

But is that potential just being able to test well and follow a recipe for success? It does seem to work though. Read that they are the first ones to tell you their kids are not gifted. High achievement is just expected.

I am going to address this from the perspective of Asian tiger parents because what you are describing is something Asians do.

There are two reasons for Asian tiger parents to say that their kids are not "gifted".

1) Culturally, it is considered immodest and braggy to call their own kids "gifted". They will always laud the success of other people's kids. They may also think that calling their own kids "gifted" will give their kids a swollen head and a sense of entitlement and they will not work hard and apply themselves. Also, they may feel that they will jinx their child by saying so. In Asian culture, the proof of giftedness lies in the results not in the say so of parents.

2) Most Asian parents do not consider a challenging curriculum that is available in the US as necessarily tailored for "gifted" children. They themselves were exposed to a much rigorous curriculum in their home countries. Maybe the rigorous curriculum was not available to all kids in their home countries (especially where the education was free), but most of the Asians who are here went to expensive private schools in their home countries and EVERYONE there got such comprehensive education. Thus, when they choose to send their own kids to a magnet school or gifted program, they are doing so because they feel that these programs are somewhat "better" than the regular schools offerings. And they also feel that such curriculum can be handled by many average students and so there is no reason to think that any one had to be "gifted" to handle it.

In a way this makes sense. If there own kid is just bright and hardworking (not "gifted"), but still being able to handle the magnet curriculum, why should it be labelled as "Gifted program"?

In my opinion - self marketing and promotion is not something I see in Asian Tiger Parents, but I do see that in non-Asian population in magnet programs. People always want to say that their "Larlo" or "Larla" are special snowflakes who are so bright! The truth is that the magnet programs can be handled by very many students who are going to regular schools.

The ability to take test well unfortunately a requirement in this country that is not going to go away. SAT prep courses have been the norm for many years now - I am sure Tiger parents would be more than happy if that requirement went away. Unfortunately, since it is not going to go away anytime soon, everyone has to deal with it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When non-tiger moms produce well balanced, high achieving, contented children, I will give more credence to their approach to raising children.

President Barack Obama's mother, Jonah Salk's mother, Bill Gates' mother, Oprah Winfrey's mother... how many millions of more non-tiger mothers do you want me to mention before you give credence to their approach to raising children.

Your comment is patently ridiculous and laughable.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH *choke* Jonas Salk--you're not jewish, I'm guessing, because mine son Jonas jewish mom's from that era were and are like the original tiger moms. Also Oprah Winfrey's mom left her to be molested by uncles and random men in her house

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being a Tiger mom in my opinion is working with your child so that they can achieve their potential. It also means that you have to make sure they are balanced and happy individuals.

Happy, balanced, hard working, moral and high achieving kids - do not happen without parental involvement and support from home. And so, if you are an involved parent and devote time on your kids and in creating a conducive home environment - you are a Tiger parent in my opinion.

Your definition of tiger mom is not the norm.

Your definition sounds like what should be the defintion of parent.

Yet, how many people actually "parent" well?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being a Tiger mom in my opinion is working with your child so that they can achieve their potential. It also means that you have to make sure they are balanced and happy individuals.

Happy, balanced, hard working, moral and high achieving kids - do not happen without parental involvement and support from home. And so, if you are an involved parent and devote time on your kids and in creating a conducive home environment - you are a Tiger parent in my opinion.

But is that potential just being able to test well and follow a recipe for success? It does seem to work though. Read that they are the first ones to tell you their kids are not gifted. High achievement is just expected.

I am going to address this from the perspective of Asian tiger parents because what you are describing is something Asians do.

There are two reasons for Asian tiger parents to say that their kids are not "gifted".

1) Culturally, it is considered immodest and braggy to call their own kids "gifted". They will always laud the success of other people's kids. They may also think that calling their own kids "gifted" will give their kids a swollen head and a sense of entitlement and they will not work hard and apply themselves. Also, they may feel that they will jinx their child by saying so. In Asian culture, the proof of giftedness lies in the results not in the say so of parents.

2) Most Asian parents do not consider a challenging curriculum that is available in the US as necessarily tailored for "gifted" children. They themselves were exposed to a much rigorous curriculum in their home countries. Maybe the rigorous curriculum was not available to all kids in their home countries (especially where the education was free), but most of the Asians who are here went to expensive private schools in their home countries and EVERYONE there got such comprehensive education. Thus, when they choose to send their own kids to a magnet school or gifted program, they are doing so because they feel that these programs are somewhat "better" than the regular schools offerings. And they also feel that such curriculum can be handled by many average students and so there is no reason to think that any one had to be "gifted" to handle it.

In a way this makes sense. If there own kid is just bright and hardworking (not "gifted"), but still being able to handle the magnet curriculum, why should it be labelled as "Gifted program"?

In my opinion - self marketing and promotion is not something I see in Asian Tiger Parents, but I do see that in non-Asian population in magnet programs. People always want to say that their "Larlo" or "Larla" are special snowflakes who are so bright! The truth is that the magnet programs can be handled by very many students who are going to regular schools.

The ability to take test well unfortunately a requirement in this country that is not going to go away. SAT prep courses have been the norm for many years now - I am sure Tiger parents would be more than happy if that requirement went away. Unfortunately, since it is not going to go away anytime soon, everyone has to deal with it!

Why do they come to the US if their schools are better and more rigorous?

[Anonymous]

What is really interesting is that tiger parents hardly ever question how non-tiger parents choose to raise their kids. It is invariably the non-tiger parents who seek to question how tiger parents raise their kids. I can't believe it is some sort of altruistic concern that causes them this angst.

Leave us to do things our way. We are perfectly happy with how our kids are turning out and if you think your approach works for you then all power to you.

BTW, the tiger parenting approach extends beyond Asians. You will find the same approach among Indians and some children whose parents came from Africa.

In the meantime, you can win all the Nobel prizes, produce super creative children, the future leaders, etc. We'll do it our way and, trust me when I say that if we believe that your approach works better then we'll embrace it. We are not wedded to our way of raising children. We do it because in our opinion it is the best way.

You do understand that you did question, through your judgements, how non-tiger parents raise their kids, right?

If you're going to be a snob about your superiority in parenting, you really should own it.

[Anonymous]

^^

Not true!

Tiger parents invariably go about parenting their way because they think it is better but we don't draw comparisons with your approach. It is others who compare their method with that of tiger parenting and comment on the drawbacks of the latter approach.

Neither do we try and persuade others as to superiority of tiger parenting - certainly on this board. Again, it is others who disparage our children as is evident on this thread.

We do respond occasionally to threads that others start disparaging tiger parenting.

[Anonymous]

The reign of the whites is coming to a end. Just being white no longer is the way to success. Very soon the whites will need to work hard like the asians or be demoted in the societal ladder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tiger moms absolutely do judge others. That's the whole point of competitive parenting.

What this approach does not do is teach kids how to think and create. It does produce good little soldiers. My kids are successful academically but are also creative and willing to take intellectual risks, the result being more innovative thinking. This is not what you see in the kids of tiger parents who can analyze but not think.

I am not a fan of tiger parenting. My experience is tiger parenting produces kids that are really good at addressing the identified task: solving a math problem, writing an essay, playing a musical piece, etc. However, because the children, from an early age, are forced to be so focused, they do not develop the sense of individualism and creativity. So, they can solve the engineering problem, but they will not make the scientific breakthrough. They can treat cancer, but they won't cure cancer. They play beautiful music, but do not create the music....

I like to think of tiger, or as I like to call it, concerned parenting as a way to have your children as best prepared for the future as possible. Generally, being disciplined and willing to put in time and effort translate into greater success in the future. Maybe their kids will not become famous composers or cure cancer, but how many people do? But there is no shame in being just another great lawyer, or musician or doctor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being a Tiger mom in my opinion is working with your child so that they can achieve their potential. It also means that you have to make sure they are balanced and happy individuals.

Happy, balanced, hard working, moral and high achieving kids - do not happen without parental involvement and support from home. And so, if you are an involved parent and devote time on your kids and in creating a conducive home environment - you are a Tiger parent in my opinion.

But is that potential just being able to test well and follow a recipe for success? It does seem to work though. Read that they are the first ones to tell you their kids are not gifted. High achievement is just expected.

I am going to address this from the perspective of Asian tiger parents because what you are describing is something Asians do.

There are two reasons for Asian tiger parents to say that their kids are not "gifted".

1) Culturally, it is considered immodest and braggy to call their own kids "gifted". They will always laud the success of other people's kids. They may also think that calling their own kids "gifted" will give their kids a swollen head and a sense of entitlement and they will not work hard and apply themselves. Also, they may feel that they will jinx their child by saying so. In Asian culture, the proof of giftedness lies in the results not in the say so of parents.

2) Most Asian parents do not consider a challenging curriculum that is available in the US as necessarily tailored for "gifted" children. They themselves were exposed to a much rigorous curriculum in their home countries. Maybe the rigorous curriculum was not available to all kids in their home countries (especially where the education was free), but most of the Asians who are here went to expensive private schools in their home countries and EVERYONE there got such comprehensive education. Thus, when they choose to send their own kids to a magnet school or gifted program, they are doing so because they feel that these programs are somewhat "better" than the regular schools offerings. And they also feel that such curriculum can be handled by many average students and so there is no reason to think that any one had to be "gifted" to handle it.

In a way this makes sense. If there own kid is just bright and hardworking (not "gifted"), but still being able to handle the magnet curriculum, why should it be labelled as "Gifted program"?

In my opinion - self marketing and promotion is not something I see in Asian Tiger Parents, but I do see that in non-Asian population in magnet programs. People always want to say that their "Larlo" or "Larla" are special snowflakes who are so bright! The truth is that the magnet programs can be handled by very many students who are going to regular schools.

The ability to take test well unfortunately a requirement in this country that is not going to go away. SAT prep courses have been the norm for many years now - I am sure Tiger parents would be more than happy if that requirement went away. Unfortunately, since it is not going to go away anytime soon, everyone has to deal with it!

Why do they come to the US if their schools are better and more rigorous?

Less competition in schools and colleges and for jobs. Higher pay than home countries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When non-tiger moms produce well balanced, high achieving, contented children, I will give more credence to their approach to raising children.

President Barack Obama's mother, Jonah Salk's mother, Bill Gates' mother, Oprah Winfrey's mother... how many millions of more non-tiger mothers do you want me to mention before you give credence to their approach to raising children.

Your comment is patently ridiculous and laughable.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH *choke* Jonas Salk--you're not jewish, I'm guessing, because mine son Jonas jewish mom's from that era were and are like the original tiger moms. Also Oprah Winfrey's mom left her to be molested by uncles and random men in her house

Yep, that example had me chortling as well. And you are spot on that Jewish mothers were the original tiger moms. Holds true to some extent even today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The reign of the whites is coming to a end. Just being white no longer is the way to success. Very soon the whites will need to work hard like the asians or be demoted in the societal ladder.

The Asians are marrying whites. White privilege with Asian work ethic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the coach analogy.

But to be frank, I have a problem with the tiger mom philosophy and ideology, for many reasons.
Products of tiger moms that I knew were encouraged to spend any little extra time they may occasionally have - with other asian children only. It was no secret with the school administration, and it was/is frowned upon. It is racist behavior, call it what you want.

I speak from experience.

+100 Very racist.

[Anonymous]

The top asian schools are more rigorous than the american public schools. Difference is the American schools are usually open to all. Whereas only the top 1-5% go to the top asian schools.

Now, where the US educational system wins is college and grad school.