Birthday invite has specific "suggested" gift item

[Anonymous]

I'd call to rsvp and ask if it's the child's choice. I wouldn't mind to explain the mom that if the kid really wants it I can sacrifice my precious time to go out and give it to her but if it's just a suggestion I won't worry and get just another playdo from the "gift" closet and wrap it in a beautiful pink wrapping paper.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The etiquette posts crack me up. Anyone notice how nasty people get about etiquette and isn't that ironic?

I can't believe how people would punish the little girl because they are annoyed with the invite. Not going for this reason just sounds horrible. Why are women so eager to teach each other a lesson at the expense of their kids? Kids like to go to birthday parties. Take a deep calming breath, realize you are not the center of the universe and people may do things you would not, feed your superiority by telling yourself you are the bigger person, and let your kid go have fun.

Amen

[Anonymous]

The posts about how not bringing the tea set is punishing the child are hysterical to me. Do you honestly think that Little Susie -- who is THREE -- has her entire heart and soul set on a tea set? If she did, don't you think Mama and Daddy or Grandma would get it for her? No. Little Susie's mother has made a list of things she thinks Little Susie would like, or things Little Susie has noticed in a store, and has requested those things from her party guests. You really think Susie's going to notice if she doesn't get it? I don't. This is all about Mom. If Susie wants it, it's because Mom said, "Hey, Susie? Would you like a tea set? Wouldn't a tea set be fun?" And Susie says, "Yeah, tea set! Fun!" (and then promptly forgets about it and runs to play with her other hundred and fifty toys).

[Anonymous]

Aaaaand, I think the "punishing the child" posts were more about not going to the party at all, which I can more easily understand. But I still say Little Susie isn't the one who wants the tea set, so bring what you want!

[Anonymous]

the brat won't even notice if all the guests are not there.
do you really think mom sat with her to do the guest list?

come on!

[Anonymous]

Yes, I meant the not going to the party . . . not the tea set.
You don't know what the little girl's relationship to OP or her child is. And, frankly, the ladies calling the little girl a brat are bitches. Sorry. But true.

[Anonymous]

Ok, I guess you all are right, respond that your child can not attend unfairly punishes the child but, quite frankly, I would not want my child having a friend with parents like these. The old adage that "birds of a feather flock together" really does hold pretty true and you usually end up being friends with your child's friends parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would arrive at the party with a big empty trash bag and ask what old toys the girl has to give away in exchange for the beloved tea set HER MOM ASKED FOR.

Oh you would not do that!

[Anonymous]

I bet the girl is a brat, through no fault of her own. When you have a mother that demands gifts...well, it does not bode well for the kids. They are either embarrassed as hell or as demanding as their parents (the latter more true, more often).

I would go to the party and give the kid whatever the hell I wanted and pretend I never saw the note.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The etiquette posts crack me up. Anyone notice how nasty people get about etiquette and isn't that ironic?

I can't believe how people would punish the little girl because they are annoyed with the invite. Not going for this reason just sounds horrible. Why are women so eager to teach each other a lesson at the expense of their kids? Kids like to go to birthday parties. Take a deep calming breath, realize you are not the center of the universe and people may do things you would not, feed your superiority by telling yourself you are the bigger person, and let your kid go have fun.

Sounds like you are just as nasty as anyone else here with comments like, "take a deep calming breath" and " Realize you are not the center of the universe" and "feed your superiority" which show nastiness in sarcasm. Of course I would still attend, but I would not get the toy they requested.

I am really sick and tired of people who ask for presents for any occasion and this includes bridal showers or baby showers. It's tasteless. You should be throwing it to enjoy the pleasure of people's company instead of making it all about getting presents. Teach children to enjoy his friends and activities instead of the presents. But when we have gift registries what kind of an example do we set for our children. How is this that different from bridal gift registries? In one we are asking a specific person to get a specific gift, in the other we are simply asking SOMEBODY or ANYBODY to get that specfic gift for us.

[Anonymous]

If your kid wants to go then go. If you are opposed to the tea set you could always get a Toys R Us gift card and let the mom buy a tea set for her kid if she wants to. It's protesting enough perhaps to let the mom know you didn't like being told what to get but is not punishing the birthday girl.

For what it's worth, I think it is indeed tacky and would not do this -- but I do love the practicality of it all. Maybe the mom is just very practical. I will probably get flamed for this but every year my inlaws ask for lists of what we want and then buy one or two items from it and then buy us a bunch of crap we don't need or want and that we have to return and they often don't give gift receipts so you always get less than what they paid for it and being the practical people that we are, I do wish they would mostly just get us what we want or need -- it would really make us much happier -- but I understand that the gift is about the giver and the receiver.

[Anonymous]

This wouldn't upset me at all. I would be happy not to run around toys r us wondering want the kids into and what they have already and how many other people are going to bring the same thing.
At the same time though, I understand why most people would be offended. But unlike anyone else here I wouldn't be afraid to bring it up with the mom. Passive aggression is just not my thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1.) The child is not a brat. She has done nothing to deserve this. Calling the child names is pointless and petty and with parents like this her life is probably going to suck so feel sorry for her.

I'd give her some time. After all, she's still young; her parents have years ahead of them to continue to ruin her.

[Anonymous]

A lot the posts here are so extreme. The mom is horrible, the girl is a brat. What she did is a little tacky. The mom could be a very sweet person who just doesn't realize how it's perceived. God knows I've done some things in the past I shudder about now. I hope people didn't judge me in extreme terms and completely dismiss me as a human being for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot the posts here are so extreme. The mom is horrible, the girl is a brat. What she did is a little tacky. The mom could be a very sweet person who just doesn't realize how it's perceived. God knows I've done some things in the past I shudder about now. I hope people didn't judge me in extreme terms and completely dismiss me as a human being for it.

You are so right. Some people on here that judge people don't realize they have all done things they might be embarrased to talk about.