Birthday invite has specific "suggested" gift item

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
3.) Just respond "we are unable to attend" and be done with it. Do not lower yourself to these people's level by being rude or mean or petty. They are so pathetic that they are not even worth talking about either so don't gossip about this either.

I thought about that, too. But what if your kid genuinely likes the other kid and wants to go? What if "everyone" declined the invite and the little girl didn't get to have a party at all?

I still vote for bringing whatever gift you want.

Me, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
3.) Just respond "we are unable to attend" and be done with it. Do not lower yourself to these people's level by being rude or mean or petty. They are so pathetic that they are not even worth talking about either so don't gossip about this either.

I thought about that, too. But what if your kid genuinely likes the other kid and wants to go? What if "everyone" declined the invite and the little girl didn't get to have a party at all?

I still vote for bringing whatever gift you want.

Me, too.

Me three, yes, it is passive aggresive but it will be a clear message to the parents that you thought that the request for a specific giuft was unacceptable.

[Anonymous]

It is incredibly presumptous to request a gift at all, let alone something in particular! Do whatever you would have done had you not seen the gift request. If may be passive-aggresive, but I think that the parent needs to somehow learn that that's not the way to get the kid a tea set.

[Anonymous]

Not getting gifts for your birthday is not a punishment. Most kids get gifts for their birthday from parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and gifts for Christmas.

I agree, that request for specific items is incredibly low class.

[Anonymous]

The etiquette posts crack me up. Anyone notice how nasty people get about etiquette and isn't that ironic?

I can't believe how people would punish the little girl because they are annoyed with the invite. Not going for this reason just sounds horrible. Why are women so eager to teach each other a lesson at the expense of their kids? Kids like to go to birthday parties. Take a deep calming breath, realize you are not the center of the universe and people may do things you would not, feed your superiority by telling yourself you are the bigger person, and let your kid go have fun.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's passive-aggressive to bring a gift other than the requested tea set. What if you knew it was the little girl's birthday and had already gotten something? You're supposed to take it back and get a tea set instead? No way. You can bring whatever present you feel is appropriate.

[Anonymous]

It's passive-aggressive to bring something other than the requested gift if you do it to spite the parent. If you had already bought something, or had something else in mind, then no, not passive-aggressive at all.

[Anonymous]

Call and ask where she registered, and tell them you're thinking of getting one cup and saucer.

No, seriously, I'd get the teaset and let it go... So the mom is rude to put it on the invite. Does it really matter that much in the grand scheme? Get the teaset, and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, bully for you. I like to teach people lessons when they are horridly rude. Saves people like you from having to do anything at all. Perfect.

These are my favorite kinds of posts! Someone being rude as they talk about how other people are rude! Being rude to teach others a lesson on rudeness. It's too amusing!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, bully for you. I like to teach people lessons when they are horridly rude. Saves people like you from having to do anything at all. Perfect.

These are my favorite kinds of posts! Someone being rude as they talk about how other people are rude! Being rude to teach others a lesson on rudeness. It's too amusing!

Indeed, PP. Indeed....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is incredibly presumptous to request a gift at all, let alone something in particular! Do whatever you would have done had you not seen the gift request. If may be passive-aggresive, but I think that the parent needs to somehow learn that that's not the way to get the kid a tea set.

I don't think it's passive-aggressive at all to just get whatever gift you want. The tea set was a suggestion, not a command, and it might not be in the price range of the party-goer.

[Anonymous]

The gift request was tacky and presumptuous and I might think it's best to simply tell the mom so in a polite way, that is, unless you're worried that Mom will retaliate by cutting off the child's friendship with your own child. Meantime, buy what you want and include a gift receipt.

[Anonymous]

I would arrive at the party with a big empty trash bag and ask what old toys the girl has to give away in exchange for the beloved tea set HER MOM ASKED FOR.

[Anonymous]

How about a huge, wretchedly ugly tea set?

[Anonymous]

We all agree: mom was tacky and rude.
Fine.
I think we can all agree that it is not the child's fault. Go to the party and bring whatever you want. Any mom this tacky is not going to pick up on any "lesson" that you want to teach her. And, the only person who is being punished is the child.

We aren't negotiating world peace, folks. It is a child's birthday. Go if you can and want to. And get over it.