Questioning boarding school...mother's dilemma

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never in a million years would i send a kid to boarding school. My college friends who came from them had either very messed up home lives which made it preferable or logistical reasons (parents stationed in developing countries with no good educational option). I am sure it is great for some people, but not worth the loss of closeness with the kid ( who is still a kid).

It's true that most kids in American boarding schools come from "messed up" home situations. Most of the other kids are foreign.

Day school person here -- but man do you all sound insular and provincial.

Not OP. Most of the opinions that say, " I did not go to boarding school and would never consider sending my child to boarding school b/c..." Are not particularly helpful.

From those with actual experience, it sounds like the best choice is to consider if your child wants to go.

As for boarding school is for kids with "messed up home lives, etc", OP is talking about Andover not reform school. Andover accepts around 20% of applicants less than most colleges.

Yes, i am one of the postrs who based it on my college friends. I am indeed referring to Andover, Exeter, etc. They were very bright kids, but with absentee or messily divorced parents. And those are the ones who ended up at my Ivy.

So are you implying that Andover and similar boarding schools have more kids from "absentee or messily divorced parents" than say Sidwell, GDS, STA and other private day schools? I kind of doubt it but it would make an interesting study...

[Anonymous]

Why would a upper class DC area family ever even consider boarding school, when there are endless excellent options right here?

To get the kid away from a "difficult" home life.
Then it may be worth the obvious risk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would a upper class DC area family ever even consider boarding school, when there are endless excellent options right here?

To get the kid away from a "difficult" home life.
Then it may be worth the obvious risk.

B/c it's family tradition AND the kid wants to go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would a upper class DC area family ever even consider boarding school, when there are endless excellent options right here?

To get the kid away from a "difficult" home life.
Then it may be worth the obvious risk.

B/c it's family tradition AND the kid wants to go.

Oh and home life is good. We've been happily married for 25 yrs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would a upper class DC area family ever even consider boarding school, when there are endless excellent options right here?

To get the kid away from a "difficult" home life.
Then it may be worth the obvious risk.

B/c it's family tradition AND the kid wants to go.

Are you British?
Of course your kid wants to do what he wants to do.
And you obey.
Oh good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would a upper class DC area family ever even consider boarding school, when there are endless excellent options right here?

To get the kid away from a "difficult" home life.
Then it may be worth the obvious risk.

B/c it's family tradition AND the kid wants to go.

Are you British?
Of course your kid wants to do what he wants to do.
And you obey.
Oh good.

Not British. We gave the kid a choice: Which of these schools would you want to go for high school? We'll go visit and you pick which ones you want to apply.

At 50k+ a year in tuition/room/board, it's not really up to the kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would a upper class DC area family ever even consider boarding school, when there are endless excellent options right here?

To get the kid away from a "difficult" home life.
Then it may be worth the obvious risk.

B/c it's family tradition AND the kid wants to go.

Are you British?
Of course your kid wants to do what he wants to do.
And you obey.
Oh good.

Not British. We gave the kid a choice: Which of these schools would you want to go for high school? We'll go visit and you pick which ones you want to apply.

At 50k+ a year in tuition/room/board, it's not really up to the kid.

Why do you think he should go away (before college)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never in a million years would i send a kid to boarding school. My college friends who came from them had either very messed up home lives which made it preferable or logistical reasons (parents stationed in developing countries with no good educational option). I am sure it is great for some people, but not worth the loss of closeness with the kid ( who is still a kid).

It's true that most kids in American boarding schools come from "messed up" home situations. Most of the other kids are foreign.

Day school person here -- but man do you all sound insular and provincial.

Not OP. Most of the opinions that say, " I did not go to boarding school and would never consider sending my child to boarding school b/c..." Are not particularly helpful.

From those with actual experience, it sounds like the best choice is to consider if your child wants to go.

As for boarding school is for kids with "messed up home lives, etc", OP is talking about Andover not reform school. Andover accepts around 20% of applicants less than most colleges.

Yes, i am one of the postrs who based it on my college friends. I am indeed referring to Andover, Exeter, etc. They were very bright kids, but with absentee or messily divorced parents. And those are the ones who ended up at my Ivy.

So are you implying that Andover and similar boarding schools have more kids from "absentee or messily divorced parents" than say Sidwell, GDS, STA and other private day schools? I kind of doubt it but it would make an interesting study...

Different poster, I only knew one set of day school kids at my school. They did fine, good family, well-adjusted. Very different than the party animals from the boarding schools.

[Anonymous]

With online education (e.g., MOOC, Consera, EdX, AoPS,Kahn Academy) bringing the most gifted teachers, orators, and public speakers (as well as an expansive breadth and depth of subject matter) into one's study on demand 24/7 why would anyone bother with schlepping their kids back and forth in traffic to sit in a classrooms, or play on fields and stages. It seems like a royal waste of precious time running from one venue to the next, day in and day out, consuming not only the student's time but that of parents, grandparents and nannies. These private day schools are sounding more and more obsolete by the day particularly given the mandatory rising tuition for less and less.

Just my take.

[Anonymous]

Private boarding school certainly takes out the 'daily schlepping and waste of time factor' in exchange for 24/7 intellectual stimulation in the classroom, on stage, playing fields, in Dorm masters homes, and in the dining halls.

With the addition of skype, social media, cell phones and ease of getting around today the top notch boarding school is not this isolated banishment to Siberia that many here think. In fact, there may be more resurgent advantages over helicoptering back and forth with in traffic and figuring out how kids get to this and that after school activity/enrichment seamlessly.

At the end of the day high school kids I know aren't as a rule hanging out with mummy and daddy after school.

[Anonymous]

Maybe I am selfish but I want to be with my child as they are becoming who they will be.

[Anonymous]

Summary of the evidence presented thus far:

"I have seen disastrous results with kids who attend boarding school, and public school, and private day school..."

"Sex, drugs, and alcohol are prevalent amongst kids attending boarding school, and public school and private day school ..."

"The most successful adults I know went to boarding school, and public school and private day school..."

Parents who send their kids to boarding school, and public school, and private day school are single parents and divorcees.."

"Mine is bigger than yours"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Private boarding school certainly takes out the 'daily schlepping and waste of time factor' in exchange for 24/7 intellectual stimulation in the classroom, on stage, playing fields, in Dorm masters homes, and in the dining halls.

With the addition of skype, social media, cell phones and ease of getting around today the top notch boarding school is not this isolated banishment to Siberia that many here think. In fact, there may be more resurgent advantages over helicoptering back and forth with in traffic and figuring out how kids get to this and that after school activity/enrichment seamlessly.

At the end of the day high school kids I know aren't as a rule hanging out with mummy and daddy after school.

After school, certainly not.
But at dinner, they certainly should be.
You must know, that has in fact been proven to be a MAJOR factor in future success?

[Anonymous]

Maybe I am selfish but I want to be with my child as they are becoming who they will be.

I agree here. Your instincts are selfish. Beware, your doting presence may thwart who they would have become.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Maybe I am selfish but I want to be with my child as they are becoming who they will be.

I agree here. Your instincts are selfish. Beware, your doting presence may thwart who they would have become.

whereas throwing them to the wolves will support their finest ambitions?