Questioning boarding school...mother's dilemma

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"IME my college friends from boarding schools were less mature than those of is that had never been away from home."

I had the same experience. They had trouble fitting in, and didn't get into the frats they rushed. They were too over the top and wild, setting off foam fire extinguishers in the dorm's common area for example. Or very odd and squirrelly. They said they had sooo much experience living with a roommate, etc., but they seemed to have this lack of confidence and lack of inner peace.

Wow - which schools specifically? The people that I knew were worldly, yet nice and down-to-earth. By far more mature than the rest of us. Exeter and Andover.

[Anonymous]

Have not read all this thread, but have stumbled upon a few choice posts. My DH would have a really hard time if DCs wanted to go this route. I would but may be more inclined to support if they wanted to do so. DCs are in 4th and 5th grade. Can't see them wanting to do this but a lot can change in six years.

[Anonymous]

Nah, they say that but it's actually about money and who has more.

If they really cared about their kids' education, they would homeschool like parents who REALLY love their kids.

Touche

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would a upper class DC area family ever even consider boarding school, when there are endless excellent options right here?

To get the kid away from a "difficult" home life.
Then it may be worth the obvious risk.

B/c it's family tradition AND the kid wants to go.

So you let your parents or parents in decide where your child will live?
Who cares about the tradition. We need to do what WE as parents find best for OUR kid. Why the fear In breaking tradition?

The kid wants to go.

And he needs an advanced, very accelerated math curriculum and languages not offered at local privates.

Will the local private allow him to take courses at a local university?

Now that is a good idea. Seems this lazy one wants that poor kid gone.

Yep, that's what we did. My parents worked hard to provide the enrichment I needed. Never in a million years would have sent me away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Nah, they say that but it's actually about money and who has more.

If they really cared about their kids' education, they would homeschool like parents who REALLY love their kids.

Touche

People who send their kids to public school hate the elitist private school parents...

People who send their kids to private day schools hate the private boarding school parents...

People who send their kids to private boarding schools don't give a shit... (like rich people have always done)

And they all hate homeschoolers... Who don't outsource something as important as their child's education and provide for ALL their child's needs. They truly love their children...

[Anonymous]

Still wading through all the posts but wanted to cut through to the chase and say boarding school has been a great experience for both daughters. Older went to Andover as a junior from an MCPS high school and is in college in the UK. Younger started at Miss Porters as a freshman and is studying abroad this year. We never could have afforded local privates. Although we miss them they are home frequently and are getting / got phenomenal educations. They were mature and independent to begin with, but BS takes it to a different level. It's been a huge opportunity for growth and we're very proud of them. We're also enormously grateful for the opportunities they've been given.

[Anonymous]

I'm the pp... And I'm lol'ing at all the homeschooling comments - because we did that too. Do I win? . But seriously, BS has been positive for all the reasons cited by those up thread who taught at BS. It's not for every family, clearly, but in our case it's been a positive. We strongly value education, independence, seeking experiences and getting out into the big wide world -- it's how we raised them and what we expect, and what they embrace as well. *They* wanted it. (Have never understood how you can "make" a kid go to BS.) For my part, I can't understand the families that won't let their kids go out of state or more than X hours away for college. Different strokes ...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Still wading through all the posts but wanted to cut through to the chase and say boarding school has been a great experience for both daughters. Older went to Andover as a junior from an MCPS high school and is in college in the UK. Younger started at Miss Porters as a freshman and is studying abroad this year. We never could have afforded local privates. Although we miss them they are home frequently and are getting / got phenomenal educations. They were mature and independent to begin with, but BS takes it to a different level. It's been a huge opportunity for growth and we're very proud of them. We're also enormously grateful for the opportunities they've been given.

I don't understand how you can't afford local privates but can afford boarding school. Is financial aid more available at the boarding school?

[Anonymous]

Exeter's endowment is $1 billion while St Albans is $34 million.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"IME my college friends from boarding schools were less mature than those of is that had never been away from home."

I had the same experience. They had trouble fitting in, and didn't get into the frats they rushed. They were too over the top and wild, setting off foam fire extinguishers in the dorm's common area for example. Or very odd and squirrelly. They said they had sooo much experience living with a roommate, etc., but they seemed to have this lack of confidence and lack of inner peace.

I find this hard to believe. I went to a school in the same league as Andover, and I found that college was a breeze compared to high school. Most of my friends at college were fellow boarding school alums, mainly because the kids who were just getting a first taste of freedom and responsibility were horribly overwhelmed and unprepared. Most kids I knew from boarding school were much more mature and capable in college. I'm not saying it was each and every student, but it was the vast majority. I wonder about the schools your peers attended - were they, in fact, challenging top tier boarding schools or were they military schools or other, smaller schools geared more towards kids with behavioral difficulties? I ask only because the top tier New England schools I know wouldn't stand for that shit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never in a million years would i send a kid to boarding school. My college friends who came from them had either very messed up home lives which made it preferable or logistical reasons (parents stationed in developing countries with no good educational option). I am sure it is great for some people, but not worth the loss of closeness with the kid ( who is still a kid).

It's true that most kids in American boarding schools come from "messed up" home situations. Most of the other kids are foreign.

This is just ridiculous. Where do you get your facts, movies and sitcoms?

[Anonymous]

I went to a day school and was very prepared academically. I thought the boarding school kids often had a bit of transition issues academically because they were used to being very scheduled and had to learn to schedule themselves. Socially, I thought they were ahead of the game. They seemed more adept an maneuvering dorm social life and making friends and playing clique dynamics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"IME my college friends from boarding schools were less mature than those of is that had never been away from home."

I had the same experience. They had trouble fitting in, and didn't get into the frats they rushed. They were too over the top and wild, setting off foam fire extinguishers in the dorm's common area for example. Or very odd and squirrelly. They said they had sooo much experience living with a roommate, etc., but they seemed to have this lack of confidence and lack of inner peace.

I find this hard to believe. I went to a school in the same league as Andover, and I found that college was a breeze compared to high school. Most of my friends at college were fellow boarding school alums, mainly because the kids who were just getting a first taste of freedom and responsibility were horribly overwhelmed and unprepared. Most kids I knew from boarding school were much more mature and capable in college. I'm not saying it was each and every student, but it was the vast majority. I wonder about the schools your peers attended - were they, in fact, challenging top tier boarding schools or were they military schools or other, smaller schools geared more towards kids with behavioral difficulties? I ask only because the top tier New England schools I know wouldn't stand for that shit.

+1
THIS

[Anonymous]

Most elite boarding schools have more financial aid than most independent day schools because they have larger endowments. Even though the sticker price is high, there are a substantial number of students who get at least some aid. I know Exeter and Andover have a policy where if the family has a HHI of under 70K the student gets a free ride. So it's certainly possible that a family making 150-200K might get a nice aid package that makes it cheaper to go to boarding school than private day school.

[Anonymous]

Mercersburg Academy in PA just received a $100 million gist, the 2nd largest to a secondary school ever, and is planning to use it to become need-blind. http://www.businessweek.com/news/2013-10-10/simon-property-heiress-gives-100-million-to-mercersburg-academy
SO, yes, a boarding school might just be more affordable in many cases than day schools.