Questioning boarding school...mother's dilemma

[Anonymous]

Don't do it. Listen to your instincts. This time will go by so fast. You can raise and amazing child at home! Do not talk yourself into the mind set that your child will only be amazing if they go off to the "best" school. Families can benefit by being close. Andover will not do a better job than you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"IME my college friends from boarding schools were less mature than those of is that had never been away from home."

I had the same experience. They had trouble fitting in, and didn't get into the frats they rushed. They were too over the top and wild, setting off foam fire extinguishers in the dorm's common area for example. Or very odd and squirrelly. They said they had sooo much experience living with a roommate, etc., but they seemed to have this lack of confidence and lack of inner peace.

I find this hard to believe. I went to a school in the same league as Andover, and I found that college was a breeze compared to high school. Most of my friends at college were fellow boarding school alums, mainly because the kids who were just getting a first taste of freedom and responsibility were horribly overwhelmed and unprepared. Most kids I knew from boarding school were much more mature and capable in college. I'm not saying it was each and every student, but it was the vast majority. I wonder about the schools your peers attended - were they, in fact, challenging top tier boarding schools or were they military schools or other, smaller schools geared more towards kids with behavioral difficulties? I ask only because the top tier New England schools I know wouldn't stand for that shit.

+1
THIS

+2
Completely agree

[Anonymous]

At the SLAC I attended, all of the boarding school kids hung out together and were too cool for school. They definitely had that blasé, so bored thing about them.

[Anonymous]

NP here. DD was accepted to Exeter for 9th grade last year. I was so torn because a part of me knew that she would develop a level of maturity that she wouldn't get at home, and the academics were outstanding. In the end, I decided to keep her here with the family and made the right decision.

Actually, the decision was made when we received another acceptance decision the same day as Exeter. DD attends a top local private school, happy with her friends, top academics, and when the time comes, she will do a semester abroad sponsored by her school which has their own housing.

For us, we definitely made the right decision keeping DD home and relinquishing that spot to a family who felt that was the right decision for their child. Absolutely no regrets!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP here. DD was accepted to Exeter for 9th grade last year. I was so torn because a part of me knew that she would develop a level of maturity that she wouldn't get at home, and the academics were outstanding. In the end, I decided to keep her here with the family and made the right decision.

Actually, the decision was made when we received another acceptance decision the same day as Exeter. DD attends a top local private school, happy with her friends, top academics, and when the time comes, she will do a semester abroad sponsored by her school which has their own housing.

For us, we definitely made the right decision keeping DD home and relinquishing that spot to a family who felt that was the right decision for their child. Absolutely no regrets!!

PP again. Didn't mean to infer that DD wouldn't mature by staying home; however, she has her parents influence, and she will be just fine.

[Anonymous]

Have a backup plan. While you're confident about your child's chances, you can't possibly know for sure if your child is accepted to Andover til you receive that email/letter.

Deep breathe and have a plan just in case things don't work out.

[Anonymous]

At my SLAC, all the boarding school kids did a lot of drugs.
They were mostly from places like Woodberry and Episcopal though, so while I imagine Andover has a lot of that too---I consider it and Exeter in another league.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At my SLAC, all the boarding school kids did a lot of drugs.
They were mostly from places like Woodberry and Episcopal though, so while I imagine Andover has a lot of that too---I consider it and Exeter in another league.

In another league and notorious for kicking kids out for the smallest infraction. My freshman year suite mate at an Ivy went to Exeter and according to her lots of kids got the boot for stuff that did not come anything close to drugs or drinking, like missing curfew too many times or not being able to keep up decent grades (not failing but not keeping up).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My child is in middle school and will very likely be accepted to Andover boarding school. My dh is all for it as he graduated from there. I am very reluctant to send my child to a boarding school. Separating from them once they go to college will be hard enough; why accelerate the inevitable separation?

I know it is a wonderful school and had a huge impact on my dh during his formative years. My upbringing was very different and my parents would never have considered sending us away to school because they wanted us close during those impressionable teen years. My family is very close to this day .

Any feedback from parents? Even sending them for a year or two is hard for me.the thought makes me want to quit my job and move with my child to a nearby city to ensure I am close if they need me.

Let's put it this way. If your child went to the local HS, he probably would most likely at best enter a top-tier non-Ivy school. At Andover, he geniunely has a shot at an Ivy, and will be better equipped to handle the work. It's a no-brainer - send him to Andover if you can!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"IME my college friends from boarding schools were less mature than those of is that had never been away from home."

I had the same experience. They had trouble fitting in, and didn't get into the frats they rushed. They were too over the top and wild, setting off foam fire extinguishers in the dorm's common area for example. Or very odd and squirrelly. They said they had sooo much experience living with a roommate, etc., but they seemed to have this lack of confidence and lack of inner peace.

I find this hard to believe. I went to a school in the same league as Andover, and I found that college was a breeze compared to high school. Most of my friends at college were fellow boarding school alums, mainly because the kids who were just getting a first taste of freedom and responsibility were horribly overwhelmed and unprepared. Most kids I knew from boarding school were much more mature and capable in college. I'm not saying it was each and every student, but it was the vast majority. I wonder about the schools your peers attended - were they, in fact, challenging top tier boarding schools or were they military schools or other, smaller schools geared more towards kids with behavioral difficulties? I ask only because the top tier New England schools I know wouldn't stand for that shit.

+1
THIS

+2
Completely agree

So basically you are forcing your 14yr old to be an adult now and be a dud at college. Sounds like ZERO fun. He is still a kid